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Well, It's Not Thirty-Seven

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (15)

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The power combo of Anna Faris and Chris Evans are set to bring the bound-to-be-raucous R-rated What’s Your Number? to the big screen this summer. In the screenplay, written by Karyn Bosnak and based on her book “20 Times a Lady,” Faris plays a young woman who decides she’s destined to meet her perfect mate after she sleeps with a maximum of exactly 20 dudes. She wakes up in bed with her boss — I’ve been there, but does it really count as an affair if you’re spooning in bed with seven or eight writers for a website? — and realize she’s clocked in at lucky number double diaz. So then she goes back through all the dudes she hooked up in her past with trying to find her perfect mate. Hijinks and herpes zingers ensue.

This is like wearing a steak into the shark tank, eh? Thank God Dustin chose the sensitive and caring male of the site to report this news. I mean, this premise is 70 times 7 ways stupider than fuck, but what rom com premise isn’t? My fav movie of all time is based on a guy trying to prevent his ex from erasing the memories of their relationship from his head. Chances are this is gonna suck like Dante’s girlfriend and go down like Dante’s girlfriend and totally fuck a dead pervert like his ex. Faris is funny, but I much prefer her as sidekick to showpiece, and Evans….well, at least he seems to remember all his lines.

I’m just gonna sit back and watch you all tear each other asunder over the magic number 20 there. Is that a wildly huge number or a wildly conservative one? I’ll pull the pin on the old slut grenade now, but I’ve always seen that word bandied around as a weapon by teenagers rather than an accurate portrayal. For me the truth’s always been scribbled on a bathroom stall: A Slut is a girl who’ll fuck anybody. A Bitch is a girl who’ll fuck anybody but me.

You guys debate feminism.

In other interweb prattlings re: Chris Evans, as TK reported earlier, he’s being considered for the role of Captain America along with Garrett Hedlund and probably some more CW tartthrobs. You know, I kind of dug his Flame On dude. But as Cap? Pass. Frankly, I like Krasinki over everyone, but he’s dropped out. And that only leaves us with one logical choice. William Goss.









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Comments

A Slut is a girl who’ll fuck anybody. A Bitch is a girl who’ll fuck anybody but me

Best quote ever

Posted by: james at March 10, 2010 10:58 AM

I never heard of this movie until I watched "Watchmen" last night, and this was the preview on the DVD. About a minute or so into the preview I told my husband, "You can hit the Menu button and go directly to the real movie ANYTIME."

Posted by: BWeaves at March 10, 2010 11:06 AM

Twenty? Pfft! Most people barely know what they're doing by then. That being said, sometimes it's fun to teach.

By the way, stupidier is my new favourite word.

Posted by: admin at March 10, 2010 11:10 AM

I don't think you need to make the comparison: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind is much more universal in its central premise. Anyone can relate to the value of memories from a past relationship.

Putting a specific cap on the number of people you'd sleep with such that you'd go to these extreme measures? Much less universal, and only relatable to people without a semblance of perspective or wisdom. It's a stupid concept. Play it completely for laughs, I guess. And maybe the big lesson at the end will be that she should find number twenty-one, which is the correct message.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 10, 2010 11:19 AM

Why twenty? And, for that matter, why look back through those twenty if none of them were good enough to hold onto the first time? Is the upshot that she settles for one of men from her past, simply because he dicked her and isn't totally objectionable? Because that's not insulting at all... Or are we supposed to believe that her true love is in the lists but she was too shallow/stupid/easily distracted to figure it out at the time? And if so, how the hell does that make said person her true love? The entire premise seems to be made of fail on the same scale as the most detestable rom coms out there: How to Lose a Guy in whatever I'm already bored and I Secretly Hate My Best Friend so I'm going to ruin his/her wedding to someone he/she actually loves. Psychoses as romance for the win!

Posted by: Reba at March 10, 2010 11:54 AM

#gosssforcaptainamerica

Posted by: michaelceratops at March 10, 2010 12:04 PM

I love Anna Faris, but she's been making it more difficult. Ditto Chris Evans, but he seemed like he might be turning the corner with The Losers. This seems almost certain to be a step back.

Posted by: Eep at March 10, 2010 12:39 PM

Wildly huge.

Posted by: AM at March 10, 2010 12:44 PM

She goes back to guy she lost her virginity too. There, I solved the movie right there.

I've always considered someone a slut if they've had sex with more people then the years they've been alive. But that's just me. That also applies to both men and women.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at March 10, 2010 12:46 PM

Darth, it's never a bad time to mention Eternal Sunshine. I get all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about it. It almost washes away all the nasty that I felt when reading the premise of the actual idiotic film that this post is about.

Posted by: Jelinas at March 10, 2010 1:13 PM

Try Not to Suck Any D**k on the Way to the Parking Lot!

I almost got my ass beat one time because of this line. I was smoking a cig outside my dorm, and these three frat dudes walked past heading for their car. One of them had a sweatshirt on with a big ol' '37' across the front. So obviously I had to shout the aforementioned line at them as they walked away. Needless to say, they didn't have a sense of humor about it and came stomping back towards me yelling "What did you say?!" and "I'm not fucking gay, man!".

So thanks for that, Kevin.

Posted by: the_wakeful at March 10, 2010 2:28 PM

What kind of fuckery?

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at March 10, 2010 8:20 PM

Are we counting finger-banging and humjobs or does it only count if you slip her the salami? That could make the difference between single and double digits here (hell yeah, pun intended).

Posted by: , at March 10, 2010 9:29 PM

what is an acceptable number? i always thought my 17 seemed excessive, but as i get older more and more of my friends have numbers >50. that's kind of gross to me.

Posted by: courtney at March 10, 2010 11:45 PM

Agreed, very well written and can't wait for the second half.

Posted by: Phyllis at December 12, 2010 2:38 AM