Attention Chris Columbus: We Are Gonna Rumble, You And I, Unless You Back The F*ck Off
"But Teek, " you're saying, "he's just producing it, not directing!" To which I say, "shut the fuck up, cockweasel, and don't interrupt my ranting." Because here's a list of the last ten movies that he's produced:
The Help (producer) (completed)
2010 Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
2009 I Love You, Beth Cooper
2009 Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
2007 Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
2006 Night at the Museum
2005 Fantastic Four
2005 3-D Rocks (documentary)
2004 Christmas with the Kranks
Columbus had this to say about the project:
"(Trollhunter) was a visceral, thrilling, cinematic rock and roller coaster ride of a movie. Visually, there are scenes in this film that American audiences have never seen. We want to introduce an international audience to this amazing moviegoing experience."
You know how you could do that, douchebag? Release it in American theaters.
Hand to God, if I saw Chris Columbus walking down the street, I'd sack-punch him. With a chair.