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Attention Chris Columbus: We Are Gonna Rumble, You And I, Unless You Back The F*ck Off

By TK | Trade News | June 13, 2011 | Comments ()


"But Teek, " you're saying, "he's just producing it, not directing!" To which I say, "shut the fuck up, cockweasel, and don't interrupt my ranting." Because here's a list of the last ten movies that he's produced:

The Help (producer) (completed)

2010 Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

2009 I Love You, Beth Cooper

2009 Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

2007 Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer

2006 Night at the Museum

2005 Rent

2005 Fantastic Four

2005 3-D Rocks (documentary)

2004 Christmas with the Kranks

Oh, hoo-fucking-ray.

Columbus had this to say about the project:

"(Trollhunter) was a visceral, thrilling, cinematic rock and roller coaster ride of a movie. Visually, there are scenes in this film that American audiences have never seen. We want to introduce an international audience to this amazing moviegoing experience."

You know how you could do that, douchebag? Release it in American theaters.

Hand to God, if I saw Chris Columbus walking down the street, I'd sack-punch him. With a chair.



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