web counter
 

China Bans Time Travel in Film and Television

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (33)

It_Came_Out_Of_Nowhere-shirt-600x450.png

Having solved all the other problems inherent with running a dictatorship of a billion people and some change (the change in this case being more people than are in our entire country), the Chinese government has decided that the most important thing they can do with their time is initiate a ban on all time travel in television shows and movies within the country. Says the General Bureau of Radio, Film and Television:

“The time-travel drama is becoming a hot theme for TV and films. But its content and the exaggerated performance style are questionable. Many stories are totally made-up and are made to strain for an effect of novelty. The producers and writers are treating the serious history in a frivolous way, which should by no means be encouraged anymore.”

Now that’s some solid snark. If these guys ever get purged, I think we should tap the Pajiba black ops squad to extract them and get them to work reviewing American television. Ripping on television for being “totally made-up?” Hell, even our news is on most days.

Dictators rarely have senses of humor, and they even more rarely have much affection for any art that’s worth a damn. Art challenges. Dictators run over challenges with tanks, and so the two don’t often get along so well. Why the singling out of time travel fiction? Time travel is about memory, it’s about showing the depth of history. Dictators live in an eternal present, pretending that they can keep the world from changing, pretending that they’ve always been and always shall be. Regardless of the particulars of a time travel story, it flies in the face of this lie. It demonstrates that not only was there a time before this current bastard, but that there will a time after as well.

But all seriousness aside, this tells us something of critical importance. By subtle induction only one conclusion can be reached. Skynet will rise in China.

(source: Blastr)









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← The Sox May Have Taken 2 of 3 This Weekend, But Alec Baldwin Bests John Krasinski in the Game of Trash Talk | Mortal Kombat: Rebirth, Ah-Nuld Returns, And The Newest Avenger Revealed: Your Geek News Roundup →









Comments

To quote RDJ at the end of Natural Born Killers, "This is a fucking joke, right?"

Posted by: frank_247 at April 11, 2011 11:06 AM

Wonder how that's gonna affect Hollywood product considering how they lately seem to be bending over backwards to pander to the commies (see: Red Dawn remake).
Back to the Future will be remade into Back to the Present.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 11, 2011 11:12 AM

They started with time travel? Really? How about a few more things that need to be outlawed?

The asshole boyfriend/girlfriend in all romcoms shall be outlawed. If the love interest in these stories is so fantastic, why were they ever dating some tool? You don't get to a billion people without knowing something about interpersonal relationships.

The henchman who cannot hit ANYTHING with a fully automatic weapon. Let's at least inject a little realism here. Could the People's army have beaten back the forces of Chang Kai Shek if they couldn't handle an AK?

Children who are smarter than any adult in a movie. This is not encouraged, and a lot of these children are not properly obedient.

Spring Loaded cats-Really people, put ANY pointless fake scares in your movies and it's the Western frontier for you.

Look dictatorships are horrible things, but if they get rid of some of the more obnoxious cinematic cliches, we have to consider it a minor plus.*


*Of course I don't support repressive regimes. I don't live in Canadia now do I?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at April 11, 2011 11:17 AM

I wonder if/how this will affect Looper, a movie about time traveling hitmen that is partially funded by Chinese investors and was rewritten to reflect a world where China is "ascendant over the United States."

Posted by: Justin at April 11, 2011 11:21 AM

I have nothing to comment on about the story, but I take joy from the fact that I have the T-shirt in the banner picture.

Posted by: antoinette jeanine at April 11, 2011 11:21 AM

While they're at it, they should also get rid of the fat-stoner gets to score with the 10 point rated babe cliche.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 11, 2011 11:25 AM

Am I the only one who thinks the Chinese have invented Time Travel?

Posted by: superasente at April 11, 2011 11:26 AM

Well played, China. I wouldn't want to remind myself of a past full of Japan ceaselessly kicking the ever-living shit out of me either, so I commend you.

And Dustin, what about Hitler's art obsession? Where does that fit in your stereotype? What, suddenly Hitler doesn't count? Well, he counts to the Jews, you insensitive bastard.

Posted by: Kballs at April 11, 2011 11:26 AM

Wow, didn't take long for someone to bring Hitler into the conversation.

Btw, Hitler only approved of "Aryan" art.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at April 11, 2011 11:32 AM

Meanwhile io9 linked to this Australian news mag report about China's construction boom and how it's leading to cities and shopping centers devoid of people or life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPILhiTJv7E

Take a look.

China has major problems. But glad to know they took care of those time travellin' dickwads.

Posted by: Fredo at April 11, 2011 11:34 AM

Sorry SLW!!!!! I meant to insult you, not Dustin. I not read so good. My attention to detail sucks. I HAVE INFANT TWINS SO FUCK EVERYTHING I'M SO GODDAMNED TIRED I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT FEAR MY WEAVING VEHICLE!!!!!

Posted by: Kballs at April 11, 2011 11:35 AM

Kballs, I hear they use sleep deprivation to torture terrorists.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at April 11, 2011 11:38 AM

First they came for Time Travel,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a time traveler.

Then they came for the Star Trek,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Trekkie.

Then they came for the pseudo supernatural,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a sparkly vampire fucker.

Then the came for all science fiction,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't aware that government would somehow include every genre there was.

Then they came for me,
and I didn't care anymore because life was deathly boring without art.

Posted by: bleujayone at April 11, 2011 11:39 AM

I too have this T-shirt, and bask in the nerd envy every time I wear it.

I assume that the Chinese leadership want to be only ones who can re-write history on a whim.

Posted by: Drake at April 11, 2011 11:43 AM

EXACTLY, superesante, that was all I could think. OBVIOUSLY, the Chinese have invented time travel and they're trying to keep it a secret.

Posted by: jamiepants at April 11, 2011 11:46 AM

I wish they'd ban the neurotic control freak wife/doofy idiot husband combo cliche first. Come on, China, seriously, get some priorities.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at April 11, 2011 12:07 PM

OldSchool60,

Of course it didn't take long for someone to mention him. I bring him up all the time:

Thanksgiving Dinner:

"Can you pass the mashed potatoes? Hey, you know who loved potatoes? Hitler."

Son's Basketball Game:

*Ref misses another call*

"Come on, ref! Hitler called and said he wants his judgment back!

Making Love to Mrs. Kballs:

"You like that? Mmm. Uh huh, that's good . . . Okay, now call me Adolf. Yeah, that's right. I'm a dirty little Hitler."

Posted by: Kballs at April 11, 2011 12:07 PM

Beautiful bleujayone, point 2 a bit hard to swallow, but as we are talking about fiction I guess it’s ok

Posted by: karen at April 11, 2011 12:08 PM

You guys are a bunch of fuckin' weirdos, man.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 11, 2011 12:13 PM

You'd think that if anyone had a grudge against Back to the Future, it would be the Libyans.

Posted by: branded at April 11, 2011 12:39 PM

We studied, at Uni, how a lot of Hong Kong Cinema, before Hong Kong was...well, given back to China, by the British, almost ALL of the films coming out had some theme about either a countdown to disaster or the past being Awse and the present/future being uncertain and scary.

The reason, of course, was that Hong Kong society was much different from the mainland and the Hong Kong film makers wanted to express the concerns of the people that being re-integrated into China would see the end of their culture and, yes, certain freedoms.

So this was an inevitability, really.

Also, srsly? What the HELL China? You used to be cool.

What does that mean about alternative history stuff? Also, does that extend to imported media?

Posted by: Nadine at April 11, 2011 12:42 PM

They have a point. It's been pretty much played out.

And as for fussing over stuff like this when they have much bigger problems to contend with, I'm sure we have a Congressman at this very moment introducing a resolution to make the three-toed spotted titsucker the state vegetable of West Virginia, or something.

Posted by: , at April 11, 2011 1:17 PM

Wow, add me to the list of fellow 'jibans who own that shirt! Nerrrrrrrdddds

Posted by: the bees knees at April 11, 2011 1:52 PM

You'd think that if anyone had a grudge against Back to the Future, it would be the Libyans.

You know they're still pissed about all that plutonium.

Posted by: Figgy at April 11, 2011 1:55 PM

Those weren't even real Libyans. They were driving a Hippy Van, fercrissakes.

Posted by: Kballs at April 11, 2011 1:58 PM

Not only do I agree with superasente that the Chinese have clearly invented time travel, I'm pretty sure the blurb up above was run through a really horrible translating program.

which should by no means be encouraged anymore

Really? That's how you ban something? Such delicate phrasing.

Posted by: MM at April 11, 2011 3:26 PM

"Then the came for all science fiction,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't aware that government would somehow include every genre there was."

Then they came for the slashfic writers, and I said, "Hell yeah, it's about time."

Posted by: Craig at April 11, 2011 6:43 PM

The internet is Skynet, or it will be. China's powers of internet control are all that will protect us when Skynet becomes self-aware.

Posted by: coryo at April 11, 2011 7:17 PM

Hell, even our news is (totally made-up) on most days.

Especially if you watch Fox News.

*hides in bombproof bunker*

Posted by: Uriah Creep at April 11, 2011 9:12 PM

That was so pertty.... *tear*

Posted by: Sarah J-Town at April 12, 2011 3:22 AM

Also fessing up to my inner nerd. I love that shirt, and I wear it with pride.

Posted by: nipsy at April 12, 2011 8:25 AM

Time Travel for Individuals - not Governments

To break the restriction of a linear time sequence, the Lost need empirical data - uncorrupted, honest data. However, the Lost have filtered all their data with a scientific-religious presumption: a finite universe with a finite number of dimensions.

The Lost do not understand, nor do they perceive their conflict with the infinite Universe and the infinite number of dimensions...

"...nothing can be added to it,
nor anything taken from it..."

Best Regards,

Frank Hatch
Initial Mass Displacements

Posted by: Frank Hatch at May 22, 2011 10:54 PM

Individuals vs. Governments

Governments have no imagination; they are locked into a limited governable analysis. By restricting their dialectical analysis to a linear time sequence, the primary governmental concern is the acceptance of their historical data as the truth. However, imaginative individuals are able to treat such truncated "data" as variables. Such "disrespect" for governmental data (i.e., politically correct data) is any totalitarian's nightmare: The first crack in the official justification of dominance over individuals.

Best Regards,

Frank Hatch
Initial Mass Displacements

Posted by: Frank Hatch at June 9, 2011 11:02 PM