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Children's Bedtime Novel, Go the F**k to Sleep, Headed to the Big Screen

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (19)

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If you check over on Amazon right now, you’ll see that Adam Mansbach’s parenting book, Go the F*ck To Sleep is the top selling book in the Parenting section. It’s also in the top 30 books being sold overall (a couple of weeks ago, it had reached the top 10). The book hasn’t even been released yet. In fact, it won’t be released until mid-June. But, it does have jacket blurbs from the likes of Jonatham Lethem, David Byrne, and A.J. Jacobs, which is good enough for me to put in my pre-order. It’s also good enough for Fox 2000, who has just purchased the rights to adapt the novel, according to It’s On the Grid. What’s it about? “Go the Fuck to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach’s verses perfectly capture the familiar — and unspoken — tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night.”

You know what works for Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate and I? Door locks and headphones. Never fails.









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Comments

Y'know what also works? Cough Syrup and Kool-Aid, even if they're not sick.

And extended family members wonder how Auntie & Uncle BleuJay have no problems babysitting their ordinarily irritable little whelps.

It works far better than the original tactic where we told them the monsters in the closet and under the bed love to eat noisy children.

Posted by: bleujayone at May 10, 2011 2:30 PM

I'm seeing a series here.

"Eat Your Fucking Supper"
"Clean Your Fucking Room"
"Get the Fuck in Here"
"Shit Goes in the Fucking Toilet"
"If You Keep Making That Face it'll Fucking Freeze That Way"
"What the Fuck Were You Thinking"
"Everybody Fucking Poops"
"Mommy and Daddy Fuck, That's Where Babies Come From"
"The Fucking Big-ass Scary Fucking Monster Under the Bed"

And so on.

Posted by: admin at May 10, 2011 3:05 PM

We have some first time parents in my family, all early 30's, waaaay over educated and hip to a fault. My brothers wife (raised by complete hippies) morphed from Bohemian, to Bridezilla, to MOMZILLA. Bedtime ritual for the just turned 3YO involves over an hour of counting down to bed time, various toiletries, story reading, and then the CONE OF SILENCE descends on the house. They will have a party at their house for, oh, say MOTHERS DAY, and at 7:30 it is GTFO time. No matter what else is going on, or if Grandma hasn't opened her gifts yet, or Dad is visiting for the first time in a year and we are all chatting. The routine must NOT BE TAMPERED WITH!!!!
Another brother's wife (raised by progressive Lesbian mothers, and expecting baby #2 at any moment) insisted that the ENTIRE rest of the family have Christmas Eve dinner at Grandma's house on THEIR 1yo's sleeping schedule, since he HAD to be home (over an hour away) in his OWN bed at precisely the usual time. And then THEY were an hour late, and later made a fuss that we had already kept them longer than they should stay for poor little Jackson's bedtime. The third brother's 2 kids run amok and are completely unparented, as far as I can tell. Now mind you, I know who RAISED all these people.This is NOT how they were treated as kids. They were given bedtimes (or not) and had to DEAL with it. Sleep in the damn car on the way home. The world does NOT revolve around THE BABY, and insisting that family functions be planned around YOUR KID is insane. This bizarre controlling behavior is coming straight from the mommies, and seems to be almost some manifestation of an anxiety disorder at this point.
I am SOOOO going to enjoy watching these people get mugged by reality over the next decade or so.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 10, 2011 3:10 PM

I am SOOOO going to enjoy watching these people get mugged by reality over the next decade or so.

Seriously. What little of this I've encountered has assiduously gotten my goat. What is the deal with these types? I figure it's the Information Age in action, where there's a website & a book feeding every inclination one has, no matter how foolish or uninformed. You have a thought, find a messageboard populated by the like-minded, & now your 2 year-old sleeps in a mailbox every night.

Posted by: the new transported man at May 10, 2011 3:20 PM

This book sounds like this email joke taken to the extreme –

Rejected Children’s Book Titles

The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Dad's New Wife Robert
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Sailor Sam's Home Tattoo Fun Kit
Horton Hears a Whore
Anne of the Red Light District
George Seurat's Paint by Numbers Book
Willy Wonka and the Vermicious EPA Investigation
The Landlord Who Stole Christmas
It's Your First Erection, Charlie Brown!
Bobby's Big Book of Annoying Noises
James and the Giant Goiter
See Spot Shit
The Habit
Winnie the Poof
Daddy's Got a New Girlfriend and She's a Whore
Clifford the Big Red Communist
Toast in the Tub
Clumsy Clayton and the Wooden Spoon
The Little Engine That Could Do Nothing and Died Penniless And Alone
A is for Anthrax
Something to Cry About
A Field Guide to the Noises Under Your Bed
Mommy Loves Your Brother Best

And, yes, most of those were created by me, Mr. Julien and our delightful friends.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 10, 2011 3:27 PM

I love people who are just so wrong and I hate helicopter mommies. I think this book will go right next to Laura Bennett's Didn't I Feed You Yesterday? on my bookshelf.

Posted by: Jerry at May 10, 2011 3:41 PM

Shit. This is god damned sickening. You people think this kind of shit is good for your kids? What kind of foulmouthed little pricks are you raising? My kids will be 18 before they hear any of this kind of fucking filth.

What do you mean they already know? That's bullshit! They sure as shit didn't learn that kind of fucking language from me!

Posted by: Paultera at May 10, 2011 5:15 PM

Aaaaaand I've just ordered 3 of those books. Thanks, Dustin!

Posted by: Lauren at May 10, 2011 5:30 PM

...and insisting that family functions be planned around YOUR KID is insane.

Please tell me you're not also one of those people who blows a gasket at the first hint of an upset kid in a restaurant?

My former in-laws ROUTINELY planned family get-togethers at restaurants for 8:30, 9 p.m. And OF COURSE they wanted the grandchildren there.

Well...that made for some really fucking miserable experiences, let me tell you. Take an overtired kid or two, off their schedule, put them in a social situation with mainly adults, and stick the responsible parent trying in vain to keep a baby occupied in a place where they have to be quiet and can't move around. So much fun you'd want to stick a steak knife in your throat. At least the baby would have been entertained watching my blood bubble out of the wound.

There IS a balance. It doesn't have to be keeping toddlers entertained by feeding them olives from your martinis, and it doesn't have to be everyone eating Chicken McNuggets because that's what the kids want.

Posted by: Wednesday at May 10, 2011 5:53 PM

Also, my fave fictional kids book is Monsters Love Dirty Rooms and Dirty Children.

Posted by: Lauren at May 10, 2011 5:58 PM

I love you all. Every single one of you who has posted thus far.

trying to hide the tears of laughter at my desk

Posted by: lexie at May 10, 2011 6:34 PM

This isn't a novel--how is it going to be made into a movie?

Posted by: Snuggiepants at May 10, 2011 9:39 PM

I'm losing my shit here. It's because of YOU people.

Thanks, one and all. Especially you, Mrs. Hoolien.

Posted by: , at May 11, 2011 12:38 AM

Well Wednesday, you kind of began that response with a bit of a straw man.
Don't tell me you are one of THOSE people who imagines other people have an issue just so you can argue with it. I was talking about MY family and their functions, not restaurants. Although if your little demon spawn is literally RUNNING AMOK in a restaurant or inappropriate public place, I will correct them. I have a Raised Eyebrow of Doom that can stop a 5 year old in his TRACKS.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 11, 2011 2:25 AM

I have one child. She is perfect and has never done anything wrong. It's the rest of you that are the damn problem!

Posted by: mrcreosote at May 11, 2011 8:12 AM

Yes, when she kicked you in the shins, it was all your fault for having such scrumptious shins to her toes.

And her screaming? Well that's just her trying to express herself, and if you actually had kids of your own you would understand.

Don't give me dirty looks if you don't like my child's behavior...I'm doing the world a favor by perpetuating humanity with my brilliant, beautiful, ingenious child who will someday cure cancer, walk on Mars and have a Top 40 album. I feel so sorry for you that you cannot understand.

And don't tell me to be assert my parental authority. That's just an archaic way to be a bully to your offspring- hardly a good example. I find that parents are better just being their children's friends and equals rather than lording over them. Besides, they'll hate you if you try to deny them the very things that make them special.

*the sound of slow burning.....


...This and many other reasons makes me pine for days of very small guillotines. It's not like the human race is in any danger of extinction from inept parenting anyway.

Posted by: bleujayone at May 11, 2011 8:39 AM

LwaE, I would consider paying money to see the Raised Eyebrow of Doom fully deployed.

Me, I might take out the old "Ooops, I guess your little terrorist didn't see my foot sticking out there" tactic.

Posted by: , at May 11, 2011 8:59 AM

Full disclosure, I read and loved "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book that advocated sleep training and regular sleep times. And it was true that when the little hellions slept at regular times my life was happier, quieter and required less alcohol.

That said, I understood that the world didn't revolve around them or me and we adjusted for holidays and special events. Fortunately, there was more alcohol.

Thank fucking Buddha they're not toddlers anymore. My liver couldn't handle it.

Posted by: Mattie at May 11, 2011 7:16 PM

It's one somewhat funny e-mail joke stretched to book length. The same joke - that the word "fuck" is being used in a children's book - isn't that funny the 6th or 7th time. "Radically honest" - what self-congratulatory crap. This lot will give the baby boomers reason to worry about their "most self-involved generation in history" crown.

Posted by: John at May 11, 2011 8:26 PM