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April 2, 2008 |

By Seth Freilich | Industry | April 2, 2008 |

I love Children of Men — really great movie, and one for which Alfonso Cuaron should’ve won the directing Oscar (and it’s appalling that he wasn’t even nominated). So the news that it might now become a TV show has me less than excited, because I don’t want my fondness for the flick tarnished. The potentially good thing here is that David Eick will be writing the pilot. He’s earned much love for “Battlestar Galactica,” naturally, but he’s also responsible for “Bionic Woman,” so he’s not exactly untarnished in the world of TV rehashing (plus, his interests will be divided, since he’s also involved with the now-greenlit “Caprica” pilot). Not much word on the substance of the pilot at this point, although Eick says he’s going to focus more on P.D. James’ original book, rather than the flick. I’ll try to remain positive, but I’m not going to be even remotely optimistic unless and until given a reason.

Meanwhile, I’m not sure how many of y’all are still watching the popcorny “Prison Break,” but those who are will likely be confused by this nugget — the character of Dr. Sara Tancredi is slated to return next season. This is good news for folks like me who have a little TV crush on Sarah Wayne Callies, but I’m not sure if I’ll still have such a crush on her when she’s wandering around, you know, without a head. But the producers have explained that she will in fact have a head, as the whole Se7en scenario Dr. Tancredi found herself in wasn’t what it seemed, and that it was somebody else’s noggin in that box. Even for the ridiculous levels this show has gone to, this seems a bit much. But given the slate of mostly terrible sounding new pilots the networks are looking at, this might be the best we get.

First up, it seems that Rob Thomas isn’t busy enough with his “Cupid” reboot and “Beverly Hills 90210” spinoff, so now he’s also working on importing the New Zealand “Outrageous Fortune” for ABC. The show is a one-hour dramedy about a family of criminals who try to go straight when their pops gets tossed in the clink. “The Riches” already does criminal families quite well, so I’m not so sure I’m all that interested — if any of our for’ner readers are familiar with the original, maybe they can shed some light on whether we should be excited about this. And our Brit readers can maybe tell us about “Ny-Lon,” as CBS has greenlit a remake of the Channel 4 show. It’ll star Elisha Cuthbert (in a role originally played by Rashida Jones) as a NYC record store employee who starts an uber long-distance relationship with a London stock broker.

I don’t need any of our foreign readers — or domestic readers for that matter — to tell me not to bother getting too excited about ABC’s “Five Year Plan,” a comedy about young friends working under five-year plans to reach their goals. And the untitled ABC drama about a law-school grad who starts working at an LA boutique firm? I basically live that life and can tell you it ain’t worthy of a TV show. Shit, it’s barely worthy of suffering through in person.

And the list goes on and on. There’s NBC’s “Kings,” a modern day version of King David’s story, with the only good-sounding thing being that Ian McShane is gonna be in it. And there’s ABC’s “Bad Mother’s Handbook,” about a lady who’s busy taking care of both her mother and her daughter. “The Unusuals” is a dramedy procedural and “The Mentalist” stars Simon Baker as a crime solver with heightened skills of observation (and it also stars the generally atrocious Robin Tunney). Fucking Ray Romano is coming back, thanks to TNT, in a one hour pilot called “Men of a Certain Age” about men (of a certain age?) and their mid-life whatevers, and … Jesus Christ I can’t even talk about the four or five others pilots that were in the news last week. I didn’t think I’d be saying this so soon, but fuck man — I kinda miss the days of the writer’s strike.

Oh, but wait. I take it all back. All is right with the TV world because NBC has decided to pick up the “Knight Rider” retread. …Holy hell. Did the execs not watch that crappy two hour flick? It was talking ass on wheels. “Michael, can you wipe me please? There seems to be some leakage on my hubcap.”

I can’t take this shit anymore. See you next week.

Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. He wasted all his “clever” on coming up with fake comments yesterday, so he’s got no steam left for this tag.

Children of Pajiba

The Daily Trade Round-Up / The TV Whore
April 2, 2008

Industry | April 2, 2008 |

Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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