Pajiba

While I might hold out a glimmer of hope for Children of Men (without Clive???), the rest is zzzzzzz...........

I don't care how far-fetched or contrived it may seem - I am absolutely giddy over the possible return of Sara on Prison Break. Yes, the show is ridiculous, but I'm invested, and I wouldn't object to some more hot doctor/convict action.

"The Mentalist" stars Simon Baker as a crime solver with heightened skills of observation

Oh, you mean Monk? Or Psych? Or CSI? God, I love it when networks line up innovative, original programming. It makes me so happy.

Also: Is the spambot talking about a dirty Clive Owen, or Seth?

HEY! No one told me we were doing another April Fools Joke, you pricks!

Wait... the Knight Rider thing is for real? Ray Romano too?

Aw, balls.

Many wonderful are waiting for you.

You'd think they could at least avoid Engrish...

Children of Men without Clive Owen? I think not, my friend. I. THINK. NOT!

I can't even comment on the rest of the crap because it's...um...well...CRAP!

Marra, I believe they are one in the same? Spambots make me chortle... I mean, where's the ad research that says random comment postings in completely off-topic sites will attract people to their own? These kid's today with their web logs.

And Elisha Cuthbert filling the shoes of Rashida Jones? I've never seen the original but I feel like that's just kinda sad. Then again it's kind of just sad seeing Rashida in the promos for that fox "unhitched" or whatever.

And that "Kings" show is at least intriguing to see how they'd modernize some aspects. I mean King David having an affair with a married woman is pretty easy to do... But Saul requesting that David go and get 100 foreskins of Philistines to win Saul's daughter's hand in marriage. And then David coming back with 200? Yea. How do you modernize that shizz?

I've actually come to think of the spambots as strange, irreverant commenters. You know, people who are a little crazy, but now feel like part of our community. You know, Skittimus, Pookie, Spambot, Julie... they're all special.

BWeaves: "What country are the Spambots from? "

Obviously they are not from a German speaking country.

Meh. TV sucks-again. Everything's finally back to normal. Anyone up for some Cubed-Buddah-Sangria?

If everybody's special... than nobody is.

*bursts some third grader's bubble*

My baiting TK with my hatred of the Red Sox was real. VERY real.

Hey, the Yanks won a good game last night. I am going to cry my eyes out when they knock the Stadium down.

Ian McShane- Hell Yes; Bible- Not so much. Either way, I'll be there.

Oh....and the thing that is Prison Break. Literally the only TV show that I actually turn on my TV to watch. 30 Rock, The Office, all watch on the internet; Prison Break, turn on my TV and hit the up button until I reach 100. Just wondering, wasn't the last song played at the end of the season when Michael was driving into the sunset the Spanish song off of Mulholland Drive? Yes, I love Prison Break and all the cheese that surrounds it and I am not afraid to go to the top of a mountain and profess my love for it.

twig FTW!

Hey, if TV sucks this fall, then maybe I can spackle the den.

Cuaron should have won Best Director for Children of Men? You realize you're saying he should have beaten Scorsese for The Departed right? Is that statement even remotely defensible?

Your shit is officially cracked.

The Departed was good but it was a remake.

Children of Men was not only better than the films nominated that year; it was the best film of the year. Yes, Cuaron should have beaten Scorsese that year.

"I love Children of Men -- really great movie, and one for which Alfonso Cuaron should've won the directing Oscar"

Really?! Over MARTIN SCORSESE? Really? This doesn't make any damn sense. Especially given that the Best Director usually tracks Best Picture, this has to mean that a)Children of Men is better than The Departed or b)Cuaron massively outshined Scorsese to the extent that an unusual bifurcation would make sense--which, given that Scorsese's win was as much about his body of work as about The Departed itself, really means Cuaron has to be FUCKING SPECTACULAR.

I just don't think that a movie in which the woman holding the key to future civilization is named "Kee," and in which the hero can walk in a straight line across an open field without ever getting hit, is really THAT much of a slam dunk for the director. Color desaturation only gets you so far!

Calling the Departed a remake is a little simplistic given that it's actually an amalgamation of two different movies and adds a significant plot element (female romance/crossover between Damon and DiCaprio) as well as two entire thematic elements (relationship to the city of Boston/Catholicism of the principles).

Furthermore calling Children of Men a great movie or the best movie of that year is patently absurd. Given that it was so ham-handed as to actually name the woman who holds the "key to civilization" "Kee" I have no idea how it can even pretend to be subtle.

And don't even get me started on Clive Owen jogging slowly in straight lines across open fields and somehow not getting shot.

Children of Men was essentially the television show "Jeremiah" in reverse. And let's be honest, Jeremiah wasn't that good to begin with.

Heh-I realize that Georgia, I wasn't designating them as reasons why either should have won Best Picture, I was stating why I liked them.

Going with my gut, I'd say The Departed. That movie stayed with me for days.

Yeah I don't feel that good about Children of Men as a TV series. Sounds kind of like taking a decent bottle of single malt whisky and diluting it with a few buckets of water. Probably pond water. Ok, crap analogy, but whatever. It'll never work.

And call me pathetic but I'm well excited that Sara's coming back... no matter how cute Wentworth Miller is when he's sad.

Gumble - if every episode next season was a continuous loop of Michael and Sara making out on a train, I'd be a satisfied woman.

By the way, could anyone living in Great Britain please inform the British TV and movie writers/producers that there are more places in the United States than New York, LA and Texas? I just found out that Wire in the Blood did an episode in America - in Texas. Texas is not representative of Middle America. People in other parts of the country do not talk, dress, and act like people in Texas. For fuck's sake, in Love Actually the guy flies into Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and one of the girls he meets is wearing a motherfucking COWBOY HAT AND BOOTS. People in Milwaukee (1000 miles away from Texas, by the way) do not wear cowboy hats and boots unless they are in some piece of shit country bar line dancing and drinking Coors Light. So the next time a British movie or TV show depicts the United States, could they possibly NOT use New York, LA or Texas? (Chicago doesn't count - it comes off as New York with a different funny accent and the Sears Tower).

Also, please feel free to trash the way American film and TV portrays Great Britain and Europe. I know it's just as bad if not 100x worse.

TK...i can't believe you left me off your short list. I may have to take back my lepus pledge.

OO!! I want to be Mouth. Cuz I secretly want to be Corey Feldman.

Come on now PissBoy, you'd be Mama Fratelli. No Feldman for you!

Godtopus can be the giant octopus from the deleted scenes.

You know how there's that spot between "tipsy" and "shit-faced" where suddenly your motor skills are almost supernaturally enhanced, your vision clears, and you feel that you can do anything, but won't try because you still have enough sense to know that even if you could catch it with you bare hand, trying to find someone who would toss you a penny off the top of the empire state building at this hour is just ludicrous? You know, the drunken Zen?

Well maybe the writer's strike was TV's drunken moment of Zen. But it just had to have that 7th shot of patron, and now it's turned an unnatural shade of red, and it's slapping its cheeks screaming "DUDE, I CAN'T FEEL MY FUCKING FACE! FEEL IT! CAN YOU FEEL MY FUCKING FACE?!"

Thanks TK

And yeah...the octopus. Don't you remember the interview with the reporter when they hit the beach at the end and Data says "The Octopus was vewy scawy." Then brand says "Yeah...when we found the pirate ship."

Definitely and rightfully deleted. They got rid of it by playing Cyndi Lauper on headphones that Data put over its head. But shame on you for not already OWNING that DVD. i bet you don't have Monster Squad either. Your urge for nostalgia is poop.

I'm taking sides with Jerce on this one. I think Children of Men was overlooked, especially in the editing and cinematography departments. The ambush in the car scene peeled my brain right out of its skull. Maybe not best director, but I was certainly more blown away overall by the film than anything else that year.

Perhaps it was my empathy with Kee and her child, perhaps it was the heart-sick feeling that the futuristic vision in the movie was not that unrealistic, but Children of Men clung to me for much longer than did The Departed. I don't know, but I felt it wasn't Scorsese's strongest work; it lacked, in my opinion, a strong sense of directorial style or statement. Kind of played out more like an HBO made-for-tv movie.

As far as the Oscars not giving Best Director to the winner of Best Picture- Ang Lee Brokeback Mountain. The Academy isn't always so consistent.

"i bet you don't have Monster Squad either. Your urge for nostalgia is poop."

Motherfucker, you take that back RIGHT NOW. Monster Squad is a national treasure and holds a place of HONOR on my shelf.

HOW DARE YOU, SIR?!

The missing octopus was in the novelization of the movie too, which I read continuously until the cover fell off and I had to ham-fistedly staple back together.

I LOVED The Goonies. It became rather like a sickness.

Julie, if you don't kill at least one car battery with Tori Amos during a drunken zen, then it isn't drunken zen. It's just friendly chatting.

It's an unwritten rule. Like how Sunday afternoons and Halloween are the only times you can purposefully dress like a homeless scrubbing bum.

PissBoy, should I rewatch Monster Squad first or see Casablanca?

I keed, I keed :)

J_Capri, it's more than zen, it's SAD.

Socalled are you of the same opinion as me that the world of 'Oscar' will change when the current ruling body becomes worm food? Then, the closed-minded ninnies tht run the show will no longer have a say in what's deserving and what's not? It was politics that kept Brokeback... from winning. In fact...politics are the same way. Generations die and then change occurs.

and TK...Warm up the Zombies. Your cred is restored and my bunnies are gettin' jumpy.

Yes. Because that's awesome.

I should stop posting as Julie and start going by Truffle Shuffle.

Julie:

[lifts up shirt, shakes belly]

Actually I've never seen "The Monster Squad". I saw "Back to the Beach" that week instead, and I didn't think these kids were going to be more effective or interesting than the Frog brothers so I just never bothered.

Superman IV, Police Academy IV, these I saw as well, though I don't know if they're quite as defensible as "The Lost Boys"

Or defensible at all. But this is the only place I've even heard people mention "The Monster Squad" in 20 years. Is there a big cult audience out there I've never known of?

Rusty: the best information I can find is that Sky One will start airing the fourth season on the 15th.

I have a confession to make:

I've never seen The Monster Squad.

The kicking of my ass may now commence.

Oh and can I kill Tori Amos with a car battery instead?

Mind you, I already disliked her, then she goes and calls herself a librarian for the hell of it while I'm still rotting in book retail with an MLS gathering dust. That was untoward! It was not toward!!

Harbor grudges, me?

I sometimes feel like Neil Gaiman has this girlfriend I can't stand but there's no point in raising the matter and telling him to get away from her already so I just have to tolerate it.

Jay, Monster Squad is one of those wonderfully original kids movies - it's kind of like Goonies... but with Vampires and werewolves. It actually holds up well, and is definitely worth seeing.

Wow Julie...The Gate. I effing LOVE that movie. I can remember that being one of like, 3 movies that ever scared me as a child. The kid in the wall, when he gets stabbed int he eye with the shard of mirror freaks me the fuck out, as did the little gremlin things, and then when the kid peels his mom's face off. AWESOME!!

And Kerri Green tops the list of "Where are they now?" femal celebrities i crushed on as a child that I would still drill into the floor today. Definitely on the list of top redheads for me as well. not top 5. but definitely top 10.

And the "What do you want to do when it's all over?" style interview with Frankenstein on the Monster Squad DVD is awesome!

I love it too PissBoy, I still get freaked out when the friend comes out of the wall and bites little bitty Dorff on the hand. :)

I was terrified of the gremlin thingies as a kid, I used to watch the crack at the bottom of the door to my bedroom to make sure they weren't coming in.

I feel like I missed out. I never saw 'The Gate' or 'Monster Squad'. I was too obsessed as a kid over Jim Hensons shit like The Dark Crystal and crushing on the Goblin king Jareth in Labyrinth.

I will be buying it on Amazon as well PissBoy. Thanks for the link.

Ha ha! I can't see Stephen Dorff without thinking of The Gate. :) Now I want to buy it.

My old boss just told me that she just saw Lauren Graham filming a scene on 2nd St...how sadass fangirly of me would it be to run down the street to see her in person? Very? ...I love her.

First, to Seth (and no, I'm not just having a conversation with myself ... at least, not this time) - NBC has no current plans/intentions to air the US version of "The IT Crowd," which is why you've heard nothing. Don't hold your breath.

Second, to many of you - I never said I thought Children of Men was a better movie than The Departed (though I could make the argument if pushed), I just said that Cuaron deserved Best Director. And he did. I think Scorsese's direction was good, but the fact of the matter is, almost everything I liked from a directing standpoint was in the original, often times almost note for note. That does not a Best Director make, in my book.

I won't bore everyone with Crash-hate.

You know, I watched Crash a weekend or two ago. It came up on Husband™'s queue (he does NOT listen to ANYTHING I say about movies). And I actually DIDN'T hate it...until about the last third.

Up until about the last third, the script actually had some good lines; the performances were pretty fucking good (Don Cheadle, I love you) and I was actually interested.

And then the whole movie takes a turn for the toilet and you find yourself sitting there just waiting for it to end. And it...just...won't.

Wow...and it seems Tibor Takacs peaked with The Gate and it's been a steady stream of Stephen Balwin/Tia Carrere staight-to-DVD wonderfulness since.

Peaking with The Gate....

Is that like being the hot chick in elementary school? You know...the first one into a training bra who figures out that the high bangs and the perms aren't such a good idea. You know the girl. She always smelled like candy. Gave plenty of guys the '...and then she unzipped her jumper' fantasies. But that was it. that was the good year. From there...it just got worse and worse and by high school, she was giving hand-jobs to anyone who would go out with her and flirting with the janitor?

Although i must say...Tibor's 2008 release Mega Snake sounds intriguing because it's probably about a big snake. And if I order in the next 5 hours...I can have it at my doorstep tomorrow!!!

"Though I wouldn't know about being that girl, I had braces and glasses"

Yes Julie!! I had the whole braces, glasses and perm going on in grade school!! Although I got tricked into the perm, my older sister took me out to the mall for the day and we somehow ended up at my cousins' hair school where she was student and it just happened to be the day they were being tested on perms and she needed a real live person to practice on. The best part? She dropped out of hair school about a month later but I was stuck with permed hair for about a year.

HA! SucH masterpieces. Freudian slip!

Hee, Wormer, that is tragic. :) I luckily never caved in to the allure of The Perm (cue the Psycho score), but my fifth grade picture is SO BAD and SO NOTORIOUS that on my 20th birthday my girlfriends in college stole it from my mother, blew it up, taped it to a pin the tale on the donkey game, and hung it outside my dorm room.

We later played Pin the Tail on the Julie. Good times.

Ice Spiders was fucking ROBBED by the Academy that year. Bunch of fucking jerks.

At least yours had to be stolen from your mother. Mine, complete with braces and perm, was actually made into a tile and put up permanently on the wall of my old elementary school. It's even protected from vandalizing school kids (me) from scratching out the face with a thick plastic cover.

"Just once I'd like to see an American film featuring the arse end of Birmingham... Or Yorkshire or Scotland. Godtopus' own country"

Gumble -- The problem is that people here have barely heard of, let alone been to, any non-major metropolitan area. Fuck, Hollywood thinks that Vancouver looks just like Montana, Tennessee, and Florida. It's just that I go to British shows to get away from stuff like that on American TV, and now it's fucking following me.

Wow, I've been saying fuck a lot today. Fuckity-fuck-bloody-fuck.

*blink blink*

I was born in the mid-80's, I grew up in the early 90's, I have fond memories of "Are You Afraid of the Dark" and "Pete and Pete" and have no fucking clue what any of you are talking about once you moved past "The Goonies".

I'll show myself out.

(P.S - Thanks to Jay for the Battlestar info! I have two weeks to try and talk my roommates around the "ok, it's a show about people in space and robots that look like people in space but it's REALLY GOOD" topic)

[puts feet up on desk and counts the minutes until the coversation turns toward Rad]

You dare to psht Rad???? The Ass-slide? The BMX bikery? The hair?

Yeah, I pshted (wait, what?) Rad. Nowhere near as cool as they wanted it to be. Plus...didn't really like it.

Well, in all fairness...Drop Dead Fred was piles of crap...

Three-nineteen - Yeah, I think they can just about locate Scotland but after that Britain consists only of London.

If you're looking for decent British TV that won't make you want to kick something I'd go for the comedy - Black Books, Green Wing and Teachers in particular. Also Spaced. In fact anything with Simon Pegg and/or Dylan Moran. I'm afraid you lot ain't got nothing on us when it comes to a quality sitcom :P. Except Arrested Development, I'll give you that.

I had such a crush on Fred Savage. As a two/three year old I used to call him Bum Savitty (don't ask) and go absolutely nuts for him in everything. The Wonder Years, Little Monster, Princess Bride.....

Wormer - don't forget The Boy Who Could Fly!!!

I read "The Children of Men" and enjoyed it. I'm kind of a sucker for fictional dystopian futures. I think it has potential as a television series. I haven't seen the movie. After reading all of the discussion today, I think perhaps I should rent it soon. However, I have seen "Casablanca."

Rad - nothing beats slow-mo Lori Laughlin on the gym floor...bike dancing.

The Boy Who Could Fly and Little Monsters - Equally good Fred Savage child films. Anyone else remember when Rick Dukaman (sp?) used to be funny and do stand-up? The only other person's name I remember from BWCF is Griffin Dunn as the boy. But then there was that slutty chick who liked him, Fred's older sister. And I only call her a slut because she banged John Candy's oldest son in The Great Outdoors in a dingy in the middle of a lake...after less than a week. Whore.

And Koldy...Rad love has to be spread out to BMX Bandits as well...no???

I have to stop doing actual work at work. It's cramping my 'jiba style.

First, Julie, LG's in town? We need to find her and squee!

I never saw The Gate. I saw the Goonies several times, but can only remember certain parts. I vaguely recall Monster Squad. I was equal parts terrified and fascinated by Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal, and I adored The Neverending Story. And please don't bring up The Wizard. It frightens me so.

"But then there was that slutty chick who liked him, Fred's older sister. And I only call her a slut because she banged John Candy's oldest son in The Great Outdoors in a dingy in the middle of a lake...after less than a week. Whore."

Lucy Deakins. She was also in Cheetah.

...not that I've ever seen it.

Jay Underwood is in, like, every commercial these days. I saw him in a spot for Lending Tree, and he's in the Verizon commercial where the "Can you hear me now?" guy is in "labor." He's the guy to the Verizon Guy's right in the taxi cab.

Nicole - I have Labrynth at home right now. I may have to watch it tonight.

Isn't Griffin Dunne the friend who gets torn apart in An American Werewolf in London? Also known as brother of the sister in Poltergeist who was murdered and director of Practical Magic.

I've never seen Fear and Loathing either, and I worship Johnny Depp like I do Satan, Godtopus, and Pirate's Booty.

:skips over to Netflix queue:

No, but Griffin Dunne was in "After Hours", a very very much overlooked 80s movie! Miles away from the Goonies though, but the same year I believe. I was so disappointed when he turned up in "Who's That Girl". You were the best guilty conscience ghost a werewolf could have but I can't follow you down that path, Griffin!

Never saw "Rad", have no opinion, but I was very irked when the word re-entered the vernacular a few years ago. Big pet peeve, don't know why.

I enjoyed "The Black Cauldron" when I saw it in the theater, but I hadn't read any of the Prydain books so that may have helped. Boy, has that movie got a stain on it, but I have no ill will. And I remember when the upcoming "Labyrinth" was the cover story on an issue of "Bantha Tracks". Those were the days. And talk of non-London/"Sandford" England reminds me I oughta round up some "Life On Mars" torrents already.

The ladies seem to love the Bowie package in 1080p.

That's because it's sooo...formidable :p

Ha ha ha! Wormer, then you can act all Dark Helmet and make it kiss a action figure of yourself.

...has had me in a very "WHAT, goddammit? YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME!!" mood

That's pretty much my mood every day, Jay. I am like an incandescent ray of sunshine and patience.

Hee, no I know my Henson, I should have worded that better.

Skeksis=horrifying Dark Crystal puppets.
Fire Gang=horrifying Labyrinth puppets with awesome catchy song that I will now be singing allll night.

"When your thing gets wild chilly down chilly down with the fire gang..."

I think the difference is that Bret and Jemaine have come to America themselves, AND they're on cable. Importing a pre-existing show simply doesn't happen on the major broadcast networks. Let a cable channel do *that* shit, we take no one's sloppy seconds!!...they seem to say. Plus the US seems to be fairly unique in running seasons for 20-24 episodes and can't just have something run for a couple of months, or even just six weeks, and go away and be replaced by something else. The networks have their established, entrenched pattern and I suspect a lot of viewers would be bellowing "what are they changin everything around for?? I can't understand what these people are saying! I can't keep track of anything! It didn't used to be like this in this country!!!"

That would scare the shit out of someone like Jack Donaghy, for instance.

Ain't sayin it's right. No, Ma'am, but I think that's mostly why a simple transplant wouldn't happen.

Somehow, Sarina, I just don't associate you with sunshine and patience. Call me crazy....but see you sitting in your cubicle, staring/glaring at someone right over the wall, unblinking, while weaving nooses out of rubber bands and paper clips.

I read the entire Prydain series. I so so so so loved those books. Lloyd Alexander introduced me to written fiction. And I have to say, even as bad as it sucked, The Black Cauldron is a guilty pleasure to watch. It's still children fantasy, damnit. There was precious little of it at the time.

Skeksis are sexy. Stupid effiminate manboy and his four armed mentors disrupting their deliciously evil rule.

I am like an incandescent ray of sunshine and patience.

On liquid crack, Sarina. What's your poison today?

Yeah, I was gonna ask if all the caffeine yesterday helped, harmed or made no difference. In my case it doesn't help that the weather has been "finally starting to get nice" as all these assholes call it, which means getting hot and sunny. The HVAC at work hasn't been switched from hot to cold so the fan never kicks in as all it could do is make it warmer and the slightly muggy air just sits there as the late afternoon sun beats on the windows and I'm sullenly taking off my cardigan and loosening my tie as I have quiet little fits of twitching as I notice the magazines and newspapers are already messed up again, muttering "bloody hell", "bugger" and "scheisse" or just unintelligibly growling and sputtering in order to remain Edited For Television. People are starting to wear clothes and shoes I don't like too. My current building does have a cool dark corner where the books are returned though. It's a nice refuge when I fear I'm about to be rude.

For four months or so I get to smile beatifically while everyone around me says "I'm cold! I'm cold! I'm cold!". I don't gloat, I just smile to myself and sigh contentedly, but payback's a bitch. Maybe when I'm older I'll get that old man power where they can wear heavy shit all the time and be fine. Maybe you have to already be lanky for that to work though.

And yes, Sarina, those pictures on your blog 'bout made me cry just now.

Posted by: Jay at April 2, 2008 5:49 PM

Oh, that snowstorm was two days ago, silly. It's much warmer today. It is currently a balmy 43 degrees Fahrenheit.

RE Claire at April 2, 2008 4:31 PM
"Being from Noo Zilland (that's how we locals say it) I am therefore qualified to comment on Outrageous Fortune, and can assure you its brilliant and snort-coffee-out-your-nose funny.
What I don't understand is this: why do you need to remake it? Why can't they just show the original series? Please explain to the foreigner."

The networks want (for the most part) recognizable American stars on their shows so they don't have to explain who the people on the show are. Or maybe they can't get the rebroadcast rights. Or maybe they want all the income from the show so they want to produce it themselves, instead of having to pay someone else to broadcast it. Or all 3. The nets all dream of a show like "Friends," that's relatively inexpensive to produce but stays on a long time and makes tons of money, esp. in syndication.

Add me to the list of people who did not get all the love for Children of Men. It was basically just one long chase scene, only not in a good Jason Bourne-type way, and the ending was just hilariously bad.