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By Jodi Clager | Trade News | January 14, 2013 | Comments ()

Good evening, kids. Today I bring you tidings of great insanity and limitless possibilities. First we have Cher writing a show, with collaboration from comedian Ron Zimmerman, that has been picked up for a pilot via her development deal with Logo. The show doesn’t have much in the way of a description, but we know that it is set in Hollywood in the 1960s. This could be deliciously campy and a real guilty pleasure…wait. Drama? It’s a drama? I hope Cher is bringing some of her own experiences in Hollywood to the table under the thinly veiled guise of fictional series arcs, outrageous costumes, and wigs fit for a drag queen. Yes. That will do quite nicely. If this fails, maybe they can try a “Sh*t That Cher Tweets” series.

You remember that cult delight Heathers is in development as a television series, yes? You may have attempted to scrub this information from your brains with a Drano cocktail, but I’m here to remind you because I was reminded. We shall suffer together. Anyway, Jenny Bick is the writer set to bring the world of Martha Dumptruck, J.D., and Veronica to Bravo and she has said that she would just love Winona Ryder to show up in “something.” Oh, I’m sure you would. The premise is that Veronica Sawyer moves back to the town, where she blew up her psychotic boyfriend, to raise her daughter. The daughter, of course, runs into the new clique called The Ashleys. The Ashleys are the daughters of the movie’s Heathers. The ones that didn’t bite it, that is. How very.

The whole thing sounds like a horrible idea, but having Winona Ryder pop up is an even worse idea. I don’t see Ryder signing on to a television show on Bravo so Veronica will be played by someone else. I’m guessing the other Heathers are probably available to reprise their roles, actually, so you may want to go for them and let the Ryder dream go.

Perhaps you remember Steven Lloyd Wilson telling you about an AMC series called “Turn”. Well, Rupert Wyatt (Rise of the Planet of the Apes) has been tapped to direct the pilot episode. If you can’t be bothered to click the link, I will take this opportunity to remind you that “Turn” is about a farmer in New York in 1778. He forms The Culper Ring with his longtime friends and they become spies in the fight for America’s independence. This could be great or this could be uneven, go through several showrunners, and have its budget slashed to ribbons, leaving us with a possible hate watch. It could go either way.

Stephen King’s “Under The Dome” is still coming to television with a set premiere date of June 24th. CBS has decided to snag prime Super Bowl commercial time to entice viewers to the sure to be gore-filled adaptation of King’s story of a town trapped under an invisible dome. Look for cows being sliced in half, chests exploding, and other disgusting deaths when the dome first touches down. Also when the townspeople turn on each other. Does this promise of carnage make the series more enticing? Does knowing it expands on the enormous tome drive you to take a look? It sort of makes me want to see how they get away with cable content on network television. I’m not sorry about that either. So nyah.

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