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January 27, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | January 27, 2009 |

Good God. I seriously had absolutely no intention of discussing this trade item, but the slow news day has forced my hand. Word is that Drew Barrymore, who actually owns the rights to the Charlie’s Angels franchise, is now considering a third entry. What does that mean? It could mean a number of things: Drew Barrymore is bored, not getting enough attention,and trying to market He’s Just Not That Into You, so she dropped this little nugget of nonsense. Or, she actually would like to do it, and she’s floating the idea to see if there is any interest. Or, and this is the most likely scenario I’ve surmised: She personally loathes me and would like to inflict as much psychic damage upon me as possible.

Well, Drew: There are much better ways to hurt me. I can’t think of any that don’t involve Larry the Cable or disembowelment, but I’m certain they exist. Granted, the first Charlie’s Angels was light and fluffy and fun, like spending two hours throwing a ball at yarn at a cute, furry cat. Unfortunately, the second installment was only fun if you like killing cats by gagging them with balls of yarn, although Justin Therouex was an enjoyable villain (though, he was no Sam Rockwell).

Of course, now that Bernie Mac (who replaced Bill Murray in the sequel) has passed away, there’ll be a need for another Bosley. And McG is currently working on hopefully not destroying the Terminator franchise, so a new director will also be needed (Catherine Hardwicke is not doing anything). And although I encourage almost anything that would allow creepy Crispin Glover to get more work, the resurrection of Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz more than cancels that out. Word is, too, that Barrymore’s producing partner is considering adding a fourth Angel, and she’s tossing names like Rihanna out. And, having seen her in Bring it On: All or Nothing, I can positively say that’s one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard.

Of course, there is a way to make a third Charlie’s Angels movie in a way that I’d appreciate, although it would involve a Christine-like demise to Cameron Diaz while she’s shaking her goddamn ass at the camera.

Here’s something to hate on this morning:

They're not Chinese, They're not Fighting, They're Blueberry! / Dustin Rowles

Industry | January 27, 2009 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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