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I Said Jump Down On Jump Street

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (12)

Channing-Tatum-Step-Up.jpg

Deadline’s Mike Fleming is all atwitter because the rumors of Charming Potato’s newest role on 21 Jump Street have been….

df .ndjl;sdkG?GVCX> julhl;nk’14dfd….

What? Sorry, I blacked out from a combination of scotch and sheer fucking boredom. I’m trying hard to think of a way I could be less interested in this story, but I’m coming up with a big donut.

Mmmm… donuts. Donuts and scotch? Donuts and scotch. I’ll be right back. Here, watch this in the meantime:

I’m back. Did you watch it? I only watched the first 4 seconds before I came close to blacking out again.

Anyway, the film will star Potato and Jonah Hill, and I’m assuming Potato will be playing the role made famous by Johnny Depp. Actually, a better way of phrasing that is that the role made Johnny Depp famous, because Depp is a super duper star now and no one gives fuck about 21 Jump Street anymore. And hasn’t in about 25 years. And if you do, I want you to wrap a bungie cord around your neck and tie the other end to a city bus.

Everyone keeps saying that Potato is determined to reinvent himself into a real actor. Somehow this doesn’t seem like a step in the right direction, but baby steps, I guess. Or something.

The only remotely interesting factoid is that the show was originally created by Stephen J. Cannell, who also wrote a bunch of other revered shows from the same era — “The A-Team,” “The Greatest American Hero” and “Silk Stalkings,” to name a few. He was also a pretty successful novelist. Cannell unfortunately passed away in September of this year, but will apparently get a posthumous writing credit on the film.

There. That’s it. That’s the best I could do to make this even remotely interesting. If you got this far, frankly, I’m fucking stunned.









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Comments

Some people staaaand in the darkness
Afraid to step intoooo the light
Some people need to help somebodyyyy...

I did not watch the video. I only need to know one theme song.

Posted by: superasente at December 2, 2010 9:22 AM

... just standing here, looking a fool with a bungie cord wrapped around my neck, waiting for a city bus to drive by.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at December 2, 2010 9:31 AM

I'm glad I got access to plenty of buses.

Posted by: Kargoyle at December 2, 2010 9:38 AM

Potato was believable in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. Slightly less wooden than normal.

Not that Hollywood should put him in every movie based just off of that.

Posted by: shanmarie at December 2, 2010 9:53 AM

Oh, Peter DeLuise. What a crush I had. I assume Jonah Hill will be playing Peter DeLuise. That is wrong. So so very wrong. Jonah Hill is no Peter DeLuise.

Other than that, i don't care EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at December 2, 2010 9:57 AM

Even in the land of Makebelieve, doesn't the Potato look WAAAAAYYY too old to pass as a high school student?

Posted by: jimbob at December 2, 2010 10:43 AM

He seems to be getting pretty sweet parts. I saw a preview for some epic film called Eagle and I think he even attempts an accent. For some reason his career screams casting couch to me. He is ok and a good looking guy, but something is off to me.

Posted by: daria at December 2, 2010 11:46 AM

Charming Potato NEVER GETS OLD. (By that I mean the moniker, not the person.)

Mr. Potato (Head) doesn't have nearly the charisma of Johnny Depp's pinky fingernail. Fortunately, it's 21 Fucking Jump Street, so I am blessed with not caring too much.

Maybe this will somehow torpedo Potato's (puzzlingly thriving) career a la Richard Grieco.

Posted by: MM at December 2, 2010 1:40 PM

If you got this far, frankly, I’m fucking stunned.

Never underestimate our willingness to stalk you follow your writings, TK.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at December 2, 2010 8:51 PM

Oh god, when will Potato stop making films? This must be at least his eleventh, which is more than Louise Brooks and James Dean combined. Can someone stop him?

Posted by: Caspar at December 3, 2010 6:52 AM

Bungie me, too! The kitsch value of this show is off the charts. My sister and I like to watch episodes together and get drunk. We call Peter Deluise's character "Tom", even though that's Depp's character's name. (It really should be Peter's though, because he's the son of Dom....and that rhymes, clearly.) In fact, Dom Deluise even had a cameo as Peter's uncle or something. Anywho, we like to pretend that we're going to fight each other over "Tom's" sweet love handles and feathered mullet...

random and pointless rant over...

Posted by: Alice at December 3, 2010 3:04 PM

I like this weblog its a master peace ! .

Posted by: Jenni at December 4, 2010 2:33 PM