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Marvel Aims to Screw Over Its Reputation

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (26)

popeye.jpg

One of the items of note that sort of slipped under the radar when we were discussing the next round of Marvel Studio movies was a tidbit announcing that Marvel (now owned by Disney) had secured the right to Popeye, with the intention of developing a CGI-movie based on the iconic cartoon character.

It didn’t take long for Disney to fuck over Marvel, huh?

Putting aside the fact that the live-action version of Popeye, directed by Robert Altman, of all people, and starring Robin Williams, was one of the absolute worst movies ever made, Marvel is still climbing uphill with this adaption for one simple reason: No one cares about Popeye anymore. He may be one of the most venerable cartoon characters through the 1980s, but unlike Transformers or even GI Joe, I can’t imagine there’d be even the smallest modicum of interest in the character anymore. To my knowledge, the cartoon is nowhere to be seen on television (and likely for good reason — the themes probably wouldn’t sit well with modern audiences) and, best I can tell, the last original episodes of Popeye were aired in 1983. Add the fact that the character, itself, doesn’t really fit into our modern culture any better than the candy cigarettes he used to promote (Jesus: How many people remember candy cigarettes? They were surprisingly tasty).

All of which is to say: Hollywood can continue to bring back old characters all it wants, but I seriously doubt there’s a market for a spinach-eating, grammatically challenged strong-armed doofus, his hamburger-gobbling mooch of a friend, a fat-ass villain, and a whiny, emaciated damsel of a girlfriend. And it certainly doesn’t fit in well with the rest of Marvel’s properties.







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Comments

We all know you hate the Popeye movie, Dustin, but a lot of us love it!

*crickets*

Don't we?

Posted by: Snath at September 25, 2009 10:20 AM

Take out the apostrophe in that headline! It burns, it burns!!

Posted by: gelis at September 25, 2009 10:24 AM

You'd think Hollywood would have learned it's lesson with Speed Racer, wait what am I thinking.

Posted by: John W at September 25, 2009 10:27 AM

Don't we?

Damn right.

And you shut your hamburger-hole, Mr. W.

Posted by: Jay at September 25, 2009 10:33 AM

Oh boy! Oh boy!

Will all the racial stereotypes be included? Golly gee wiz, I hope so!

Posted by: commanderfunky at September 25, 2009 10:34 AM

Uck. There's no need for new Popeye. Just pick up the collections of cartoons from the 30s and 40s. They rule.

Posted by: Kurdt at September 25, 2009 10:36 AM

Sorry but Speed Racer was the tits. My kids loved it for their own reasons, and I loved it because it was as faithful an adaptation of the source material as any I can remember. Also, the colors!

Popeye was played out back in the 70's when I watched it. And I only watched it because it was slightly more entertaining then the test pattern that ran at 6 AM on all 4 other channels. Shit, I even preferred Davey and Goliath!

Posted by: ed newman at September 25, 2009 10:45 AM

I'm Strong to the Finich, Cause I Eats Me Spinach

I'm Popeye the Command Master Chief Petty Officer. *Toot toot*

He's a career Navy man. You think he wouldn't work his way up through the ranks?

Posted by: branded at September 25, 2009 10:46 AM

I don't think Popeye was in the Navy. I think he was just a sailor.

I think they should do an "origins" type of Popeye movie, where Popeye drank BEER to get stronger, and Sweetpea was the illigitimate daughter/son (gender, anyone?) of Olive Oyl and Popeye.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 25, 2009 10:57 AM

The only way I'll watch this is if Robin Williams reprises his role as Popeye. Definately the defining moment in an absolutely flawless career.

Posted by: admin at September 25, 2009 11:11 AM

Zing!

Posted by: Snath at September 25, 2009 11:23 AM

Watch out now admin. That's Euvegenia Doubtfire you're talkin' 'bout.

When did it all go so wrong for Robin Williams? When did the talent dry up to the point of the shitstain that his career has become? Or was he always a coked out one trick pony? I've got jury duty on Monday and my friend had it last week and he told me that they had a TV running in the waiting room playing RV on a continuous loop all day.

R. Fucking. V. Monday is going to suck.

In the immortal words of Gene Hackman: "YOU"RE LOSING ME MY JURY!"

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at September 25, 2009 11:24 AM

Here's to hoping for a quickly unanimous guilty verdict, JDW, regardless of actual guilt.

Posted by: Snath at September 25, 2009 11:46 AM

They've already proved beyond a reasonable doubt that I don't want to be there.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at September 25, 2009 11:51 AM

"was one of the absolute worst movies ever made"

Simply wrong.

Posted by: Joseph Finn at September 25, 2009 12:20 PM

I loved Altman's Popeye as a kid. On the other hand, I didn't exactly have flawless taste back then, and I haven't seen it since my skull solidified.

Regarding stray apostrophes: sounds to me like you need a proofreader.

WINK. WINK.

WINK WINK COUGH WINK WINK.

Posted by: antoinette jeanine at September 25, 2009 12:58 PM

I don't think Popeye was in the Navy. I think he was just a sailor.

When the US joined the fight in WWII, Popeye did, in fact, join the Navy. You can always spot a wartime Popeye cartoon by the fact that he's sporting his Navy-issue dress whites, rather than his traditional black, red, and blue garb.

Also: The only thing the author of this post got correct was his prediction that this movie will be terrible. Altman's Popeye, on the other hand, is a minor masterpiece, beautifully conceived and perfectly realized, and it contains one of Robin Williams's best (maybe the best) big screen comic performances, not to mention some darn good songs by Paul Williams.

So, there!

Posted by: screwtape at September 25, 2009 1:19 PM

Ah, I haven't seen the WWII era Popeye's. I've only seen the very, very old ones (Popeye the Sailor vs. Sinbad the Sailor, excellent) or the newish ones (which suck flaming monkey balls).

Posted by: BWeaves at September 25, 2009 1:29 PM

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

Posted by: dawn at September 25, 2009 2:40 PM

My only question, before I skip this movie, is: Bluto or Brutus?

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 25, 2009 2:42 PM

Bluto.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at September 25, 2009 3:50 PM

sorry to correct you, screwball, but the songs in Altman's Popeye were written by Harry Nilsson.

Posted by: causabon at September 25, 2009 4:26 PM

and again i have to apologise to screwtape.

Posted by: causabon at September 25, 2009 4:28 PM

Fuck off Rowles. Altman's Popeye was the tits. You have no taste whatsoever. Go choke on some spinach you half-a-tard.

Posted by: EJ at September 26, 2009 7:00 AM

who cares? It's said more and more celebrities have their profiles on a great millionaire dating site____WealthySocial.COM_______ . The best club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs...You should check it out!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Posted by: Coren at September 26, 2009 10:33 AM

Let's see, a grammatically challenged doofus, a hamburger gobbling mooch of a friend, a fat ass villain and a whiny emaciated girlfriend.

That describes everyone who works at Pajiba and every one of the commenters, myself excluded.

Posted by: Fappy McFapper at September 26, 2009 12:58 PM


















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