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November 24, 2008 | Comments ()


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We the N.I.C. Bitch; The Nerds In Charge

The Weekly Geek / Claude Weaver III

Trade News | November 24, 2008 | Comments ()


That’s right folks, Dustin has finally seen the light and decided to have the geek news be done by someone that halfway knows what they are doing. I will give you a moment to have parades and put out those burning effigies….

…done? Good. I would love to participate in the grand tradition of slamming the previous guy, but considering I don’t have my copy of the keys to Pajiba made yet, I think I will hold off until later.

So here is your old buddy Claude, bringing you at least some of the news that is fit to geek!

First item of the day: As you may have heard, Oldboy is being remade by Steven Spielberg and Will Smith. Well, ol’ Big Wille doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea. They aren’t remaking the film, but making their own based on the original manga. Oh you didn’t know about the manga? Well, shame on you!

Quoteth The Jiggymeister, according to Film School Rejects :


“We’re looking at that right now. Not the film though, it’s the original source material. There’s the original comics of ‘Oldboy’ that they made the first film from. And that’s what we’re working from, not an adaptation of the film…,” said Smith.


I am not that familiar with the manga (released in English in 2006 by, who else, Dark Horse Comics), but the only apparent similarities seem to be the imprisonment and “hunt for his captors” angle. So it seems that Spielberg and Smith indeed found a way to bitch out on the ending without incurring the dreaded “ending change” stigma. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Next up: The Jonah Hex movie. Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, who wrote and directed the Jason Statham action flick Crank and its upcoming sequel, have left the project over the tried-and-true “creative differences.” If that wasn’t enough, in what is becoming a fast-growing trend (Twilight), Josh Brolin has publically expressed displeasure with the script. But in what has to be some sort of counter-Heiglian maneuver, he managed to form it into a backhanded compliment!


“When I first read it, I thought, “Oh my God, it’s awful!” And then I had a moment a week later, and I thought, “Why is it awful?” Maybe the thing to do is to do the most awful movie I can find.”

“It’s so tongue-in-cheek. It’s so ridiculous. But once I started putting people in my mind and saying, “What if I put [John] Malkovich in this role? Then what does this movie become? Now let’s put this producer and director on it and think about how it plays out.” Then it becomes fun. Now I love that movie. If you have a great filmmaker come in, then suddenly, these gags and characters become interesting.”


I love it, honestly. Instead of swallowing their pride and shilling a movie so blatantly bad, more and more stars are calling the studios on their bullshit. But what side are you on? Should actors just keep their trap shut, even with reasonable concerns? Or should they speak up and at least try to make their movies suck less?

Last, and maybe least: Peter Segal, director of the recent Get Smart adaptation and its upcoming sequel(?), is taking the reigns on the Captain Marvel movie (The DC one, not the Marvel one). I do so hope they stick with the whole “guardian of magic” angle instead of just making him look like Superman. And please make Black Adam at least half as badass as he is in the comics.

I end today with two items, which I hope to be recurring:

Vermillion’s Picks: Where I recommend comic books and other geeky items for your consumption, like I did for Prisco. This week it is Warren Ellis’ Planetary. Three superhuman archeologists explore their world’s “secret history,” which happens to include ghost cops, fictional realities, an invasion from another dimension, and homicidal dickhead versions of the Fantastic Four. Trust me; it is so much better than it sounds from this paragraph.

And the Weekly Trailer Watch, for movies with a geeky bent. This is the trailer for Special, starring Michael Rapaport as a lonely guy who thinks he’s a superhero because his medicine gives him superhuman hallucinations. It has a 100 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and went into limited release on Nov. 21st, so you lucky bastards check it out and let us know how it was, OK?

Claude Weaver III, aka Vermillion, is a mild-mannered college student and budding reality-show star with dreams of world domination and peanut-butter cookies. He will try to make you geeks proud. You can see more of his ramblings at his soon-to-be-updated blog, Vermillion’s Brain Receptacle.



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