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Hot-Buttered Butthole

It's Butthole Day on Pajiba! / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | November 6, 2009 | Comments (71)

A year can go by so quickly, can’t it? The winter arrives, then the Super Bowl, the film festivals, the summer blockbusters, then the World Series arrives, the leaves fall, and before you know, November 6th has arrived once again.

That’s right, folks. It’s Butthole Day! A celebration of the greatest word in the English language.

Butthole!

You probably thought that, since we started breaking news around here, and bringing on the established blogger or two, that we were gettin’ all professional and that we’d forget about the greatest day of the year.

Not on your life, buttholes!

Say it. Butthole! Say it loud, say it proud! Butthole. B-U-T-T-H-O-L-E. Butthole! Are you sitting near anyone right now? If so, turn to him or her. Tap on her shoulder. Prepare a serious expression. Clear your throat. And then say it like you mean it. BUTTHOLE!

Has anything ever felt so good to say? It’s so liberating! Yes! Yes! Yes! Butthole!

You got the butthole fever yet?

Well, to help get you in the mood, let’s take a look at the new trailer for Brothers. The movie stars Tobey Maguire, a butthole who goes off to war, goes missing, and then is presumed dead. His wife, Natalie Portman, is left home alone, and turns to that butthole Jake Gyllenhaal for comfort. They get a little butthole happy together and all seems good, but then, Bam! Tobey Maguire is found! But he comes home butthole crazy!

It looks butthole intense.

See what I mean, buttholes?

Now do it, y’all. You know how this works. Get it out of your system. Say it to everyone you know! Butthole! Leave a butthole comment! Leave three! Spill it, jam it, poke it, provoke it. Butthole!


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Comments

It's 6:07 and I still haven't gone to bed! Butthole!!!

Posted by: Lauren at November 6, 2009 9:07 AM

BUTTHOLE!!!!!!!

Posted by: PissBoy at November 6, 2009 9:09 AM

Smack it up, flip it, rub it down, BUTTHOLE!!!!!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at November 6, 2009 9:10 AM

What has happened to this butthole of a site? Pajiba's butthole was entertaining at one time but now the buttholes that are running this butthole are just pulling butthole posts out of their buttholes in the hopes of getting a few cheap laughs from the other buttholes.

I remember a day when buttholes were buttholes and one could be proud of Pajiba's butthole. It was an scathing, bitchy and incisive butthole that would make other buttholes quiver in fear. There were zombie buttholes and boobie buttholes and Bayholes and ,well, there was more quality butthole then you could shake a stick at.

Oh how I long for those halcyon buttholes where one could butthole around Pajiba and click on any particular butthole and be rewarded with a brilliantly worded butthole that would skewer some pretentsious butthole and the eloquent buttholes would gather their buttholes and sing the praises of the writer of said butthole. *sigh* It really makes me sad in the butthole.

Oh, it's butthole day? Well then, BUTTHOLE!

Posted by: admin at November 6, 2009 9:18 AM

Ahhh, one of the things that make this site fantastic! Butt to the Hole! Butthole!!! Butt butt buuuut HOLE!

Posted by: mrcreosote at November 6, 2009 9:18 AM

You guys are not pronouncing the word to its fullest effect.

It's butthole...not butthole.

Posted by: Jerce at November 6, 2009 9:19 AM

There's a person attached to mine! Oh god! Butthole!

Posted by: Human Centipede at November 6, 2009 9:24 AM

Yay! Happy Butthole Day, everyone! I know how I'm gonna celebrate Butthole day! (*Wink wink nudge nudge*)

...With Buttsex.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at November 6, 2009 9:25 AM

The more I see butthole, the more convinced I am that it does not, and did not ever exist.

And yes, I'm talking about the word, not actual buttholes. You Buttholes.

Posted by: Temet Nosce at November 6, 2009 9:25 AM

Pucker up everyone.............

BUTTHOLES FOREVER!

Posted by: slower lower at November 6, 2009 9:26 AM

Mmmmmmhuuuuumph!

*cries*

Posted by: Human Centipede Part #2 at November 6, 2009 9:26 AM

" . . . "

Posted by: Human Centipede Part #3 at November 6, 2009 9:28 AM

Human centipede (all segments) needs to be in EE this week. What a butthole.

Posted by: mrcreosote at November 6, 2009 9:35 AM

Smack it up, flip it, rub it down, BUTTHOLE!!!!!

It's like a modified butthole-version of "G.T.O."!

When I turn it on, wind it up, blow it out Butthole!

Posted by: branded at November 6, 2009 9:39 AM

Didn't Maguire already do this role on the other end in Cider House Rules? Which was a phenomenal book but a crapfest of a movie, despite all the nominations pulled out of someone's... thin air.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at November 6, 2009 9:40 AM

*farts*

Posted by: Human Centipede Part #4 at November 6, 2009 9:40 AM

BUTTHOOOOLIOOOOOO!

Posted by: Snath at November 6, 2009 9:42 AM

There's a person attached to mine! Oh god! Butthole!

Posted by: Human Centipede at November 6, 2009 9:24 AM


Damn! I wish I'd said that. You BUTTHOLE!

Also, didn't they already make this movie, and it starred Cary Grant? My Favorite Wife, or something like that?

Posted by: BWeaves at November 6, 2009 9:43 AM

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two buttholes diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Posted by: Julie at November 6, 2009 9:46 AM

Isn't that the exact same plot as Pearl Harbor? What kind of butthole writer thinks they can get away with that?

Posted by: Todd at November 6, 2009 9:47 AM

Wait, I thought every day was Butthole Day.

Posted by: agent bedhead at November 6, 2009 9:48 AM

Butthole!!!

I just stood up and yelled "Butthole" and none of my six cubicle mates even gave me a second look.

Apparently they have grown accustomed to my idiosyncracies.

Posted by: Kelly at November 6, 2009 9:54 AM

BUTTHOLIO

Posted by: Chugga at November 6, 2009 9:58 AM

Yay!! butthole, Butthole, BUTTHOLE!

Posted by: Katy at November 6, 2009 10:04 AM

Butthole no longer looks like a word. I love it when you see a word so many times in a short period that it ceases to make sense.

*lets out a little poop*

Oooh, good one, butthole.

Posted by: Kballs at November 6, 2009 10:04 AM

I resent this thread

Posted by: John Buttole at November 6, 2009 10:24 AM

BUTT

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 6, 2009 10:26 AM

HOLE

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 6, 2009 10:27 AM

(I do sincerely apologize in advance for my following comment, which really is sacrilege. Buttholes!)

in Just-
spring when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame butthole

whistles far and wee

and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's
spring

when the world is puddle-wonderful

the queer
old butthole whistles
far and wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing

from hop-scotch and jump-rope and

it's
spring
and
the

goat-footed
butthole whistles
far
and
wee

Posted by: Cindy at November 6, 2009 10:28 AM

Who cares!!! My boyfriend also agrees with me. He is 10 years older than me, lol. We met online at age-gap club -- http://AgelessOnly.COM/. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

Posted by: Kyra at November 6, 2009 10:33 AM

It's Talk Like a Butthole Day!

pertweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

But when the hell is Paheeba Day II?

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 6, 2009 10:34 AM

Spambothole

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 6, 2009 10:36 AM

I'm a butthole, you're a butthole, wouldn't you like to be a butthole too? Say it loud, say it proud, I'M A BUTTHOLE!!!

Posted by: Jadine at November 6, 2009 10:44 AM

Hey Kyra, your boyfriend is a butthole.

Posted by: Cindy at November 6, 2009 10:46 AM

Looks like Tobey McSpidey is a Major Headwound Butthole in that movie.

Posted by: wsapnin at November 6, 2009 10:50 AM

I AM CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR MY BUTTHOLE!

This looks like hot buttered butthole crazy insane intense butthole MADNESS!!!!

AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBUTTHOLE!!!!!!!!

Posted by: dammitjanet at November 6, 2009 10:50 AM

I can't believe that it's been a whole buttholing year since I was last typing butthole on Pajiba.

BUTTHOLE
(I now keep seeing it as butth-ole - say it in a mexian accent with a smile on your face)

Posted by: Squeeziee at November 6, 2009 11:00 AM

How is everyone celebrating Butthole Day? I can't decide. I'm leaning towards verbally abusing the striking transit buttholes and spending the evening face down ass up while Sir Mix-a-Lot plays in the background.

Posted by: Julie at November 6, 2009 11:05 AM

My buddy convinced me that a Hot-Buttered Butthole was a new drink that all the hipsters were drinking. He said he was long, smooth and really hit the spot. So I said fine, give me one.

Posted by: EricD at November 6, 2009 11:05 AM

Human Centipede wins the Internets.
(Butthole)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 6, 2009 11:21 AM

A good reason to celebrate the best line from last night's Parks and Recreation:

"So what's it like to stare into the eye of satan's butthole?"
-Ron Swanson

Posted by: Amanda at November 6, 2009 11:38 AM

Wait, I thought every day was Butthole Day.
- agent bedhead

Only at Jeremy's house.

Posted by: Drake at November 6, 2009 11:50 AM

I wondered why my butthole was so itchy this morning.

I guess it's the equivalent of having someone's ears burning.

Posted by: Drake at November 6, 2009 11:58 AM

No no no. Every day is not Butthole Day. Except for today, every day is Un-Butthole Day.

For shame. I expected you buttholes to know that.

Posted by: stardust (now with 100% less savant) at November 6, 2009 12:13 PM

BUTTHOLE!

Yeah, it did feel good.

And yeah, wasn't that movie already made and called The Cider House Rules?

Posted by: MM at November 6, 2009 12:23 PM

HOYO DE CULO!

Ha.

Posted by: figgy at November 6, 2009 12:27 PM

Favorite song titles, with "in my butthole" added.

Stairway To Heaven In My Butthole.
Come Together In My Butthole.

Wait.
Eww.
I've seen that video.
Eww.

Posted by: Spender at November 6, 2009 1:01 PM

I can't watch the trailer at the moment, but someone please tell me Jake Gyllenhaal sings a song about '21 being a good year. That would totally make my day.

Butthole.

Posted by: Phaeolus at November 6, 2009 1:11 PM

True story: I take these cooking classes at the local ShopRite, and the Chef running them started talking about Lifetime one day. I don't remember why, but eventually it lead to her revelation that her son and husband call Lifetime "The Playa Hata Channel". All I could think was, "Never was there a more accurate description of what Lifetime actually represents".

And never was there a more fitting home for this overblown piece of drama. Not only does it belong on the Playa Hata Channel, but it's Hollywood's way of finally acknowledging something everyone and their mother realized back in 2002...Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal look so goddamn alike, they could be the same person.

(Side note: I think we should call Rick Baker, Robert Zemeckis and Eddie Murphy in on this, if I were you. After a screening of Brothers, they could help settle the debate on whether they actually do exist separately, or if they're merely separated by makeup trickery.)

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at November 6, 2009 1:33 PM

Posted by: s. pisaster at November 6, 2009 3:01 PM

well that last comment didn't seem to work....y'all'll have to click my name for a special butthole day present!

Posted by: s. pisaster at November 6, 2009 3:06 PM

My sister taught my daughter to fetch the dogs toy with her mouth. In honor of butthole day, I'm going to spend the evening teaching her son to call everything and everyone a butthole.

Viva la butthole!

Posted by: TWoP Fan at November 6, 2009 6:17 PM

everything i touch turns to shit

*sobs*

Posted by: Human Centipede at November 6, 2009 6:54 PM

This is a remake of a Danish film called "Brødre" (Brothers) I saw it a couple of years ago it was pretty good I just hope they don't Hollywood it up to much. Butthole.

Posted by: Simon at November 6, 2009 7:15 PM

Dear Godtopus. I'm gone all day and I decide to check out Pajiba and the buttholes have run amok. I miss everything.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 6, 2009 7:26 PM

So everytime I look at Natalie Portman I get all warm and happy inside. Even crying she looks fantastic. Then I thought about that song "Cause A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When A Stripper Is Crying" and pictured her crying in the stripper costume in Closer (she didn't cry but that would have been awesome). MMMMmmmmm a crying Natalie Portman stripper.

What?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at November 6, 2009 7:40 PM

Oh god.

No. NO.

BURRITOS!!!!


. . . my . . . . butthole . . . . .

*whimper*

Posted by: Human Centipede at November 6, 2009 7:56 PM

Nice play on the Isaac Hayes album in the headline.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy), at November 6, 2009 7:58 PM

True Story. One of my daughter's favorite games is to be chased through the house pretending you are a monster who is going to eat her. And the Game is called "Baby Meat." You have to run after her and say, "Oooooooh There goes the Baby Meat!!!!'"

Once after an invigorating name of Baby Meat, her dad read her a BackYardigans book, but replaced every noun AdLibs style with the words "Baby Meat."

I laughed till I had to change pajama pants. If you liked Butthole Day, Amazon Stacy D highly recommends you try a little Baby Meat.

Posted by: Stacy D at November 6, 2009 8:00 PM

Stacy, I am totally doing that with my kid. She will love it.

Posted by: TWoP Fan at November 6, 2009 8:13 PM

отверстие приклада

Posted by: idleprimate at November 6, 2009 10:26 PM

*sigh* And so the day has come and gone, ending not with a bang or a whimper but with a butthole.

Come to think of it, getting banged in the butthole would make me whimper ...

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy), at November 7, 2009 12:18 AM

HA! Stacy, I taught my niece & nephew the Zombie Game! I chase them around yelling, "Mmmm! Delicious children brains!" and sometimes, "I'm going to eat your brains and gain your knowledge!" and then when I catch them, I eat their delicious brains.

It's the funnest game EVER.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 7, 2009 1:03 AM

I think we all agree though that we draw the line at "Prince of Tides." When the weird uncle suggests a round of "Prince of Tides," I call Shotgun, and I call admin. So he can bring the tree branch.

Posted by: Stacy D at November 7, 2009 8:40 AM

Butthole. B-U-T-T-H-O-L-E. Butthole!

Posted by: Thaf at November 7, 2009 4:35 PM

Butthole. B-U-T-Hole. Beauty Hole.

I'm having an AWESOME saturday night working on the computer. Whattalife.

Posted by: Lauren at November 7, 2009 8:47 PM

This is funnier in concept that in execution.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 8, 2009 8:25 PM

..."than". THAN in execution.

I type words good.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 8, 2009 8:26 PM

So fucking stupid. The trailer, not butthole day.

Posted by: kayla at November 8, 2009 9:10 PM

Daniel, you post was more astute in concept than in execution.

And I say that with love, as I have the same typographical letter drop/subbing issue.

Posted by: Stacy D at November 8, 2009 10:05 PM

Stacy D:

Do you mean "your" post?

(I'm sorry. I had to).

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 8, 2009 10:15 PM





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