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Put a Little Pajiba in Your Soul

The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | March 27, 2007 | Comments (71)

Question for you: Did you hate Titanic? Well, of course you did. You wouldn’t be a regular reader of Pajiba if you didn’t, now would you? And how long did it take you to finally get over Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet’s participation in that film? It wasn’t until DiCaprio did The Departed before I fully forgave him, though Winslet redeemed herself fairly quickly by following Titanic up with some fairly adventurous roles. Well, the two are re-teaming again, as if to reopen old, pus-filled, gangrenous psychic wounds that lingered long after Jack Dawson sank to his hallelujah-it’s-finally-fucking-over miserable death. Winslet and DiCaprio will star as suburbanite husband and wife in Revolutionary Road, adapted from the celebrated 1961 Richard Yates novel. The film will be directed by Winslet’s husband, Sam Mendes. I have to admit, too, that both the material and the talent offer some flicker of hope that Revolutionary Road will warm the cockles of my “cold, it’s so cold,” heart, just as long as Billy Zane isn’t brought aboard to crazy-up the film. The narrative will focus on the day-to-day misery of the 1950s’ suburban couple, who are trapped in their suffocatingly perfect lives, as their downward spiral leads them to drink and fornicate with strangers. It is also familiar territory for Mendes, whose directing break-through came with American Beauty and, honestly, here’s hoping Peter Gallagher makes a cameo reprisal of Buddy Kane and Winslet gets to scream, “Fuck me, your majesty,” while splayed out against a headboard.

(Gratuitous, insincere exclamation point warning ahead)

Oooh, oooh! Have you ever imagined a film that would do you the cinematic version of a solid by putting four of your least favorite actors and actresses all in one movie! Doesn’t it sound glorious!!! Well, that’s what director Patrick Sisam is doing, by putting Sharon Stone, Tom Arnold, Lucy Liu, and (wait for it … ) Jimmy Fallon in one all-star shittastic production! He’s calling it Rocket, but I’m just going to go ahead and give it the working title, The Film that Finally Drove Me to Pull My Eyeballs Out of their Sockets; and right now, I’m going start ramming my head against my monitor to prepare me for the experience of watching it!!! Oh, I can’t wait! The movie itself is about an guy (Fallon) that has problems committing to his girlfriend (Liu) because of his troubled relationship with his unhappily married parents (Stone and Arnold). How unbelievably original is that spec?! You know, I’ve never seen a film about a guy who couldn’t commit! And I’ve never heard a Bon Jovi song that repurposed an uninspired platitude, repeated it 47 times, and set it to music. What will these crazy people think up next? Somebody, please pass the handgun! I’m going to pop a cap in the back of my throat!!!

(Exclamations End)

There is some pretty decent news to report today. Zack Snyder — who most of you know as the guy who made that movie (300) that made you feel incredibly inadequate about your upper-body physique — is setting up another film aside from The Watchmen, and this one is a return to the zombie subgenre that got Snyder noticed in the first place when he directed the Dawn of the Dead remake. He’s now producing Army of the Dead, based on his own story idea, about a father who tries to save his daughter in the zombie-infested world of Las Vegas — and honestly, can you do better than a Zombies-in-Vegas pic? It’s actually pretty inspired, and somewhat hard to imagine it hasn’t been done yet, given the nature of Sin City: Creepy old people with sallow skin mechanically chain-smoking while methodically sticking in quarter after quarter and pulling levers in a zombie-like fashion, as their souls are slowly sucked into the dry Vegas atmosphere. Then you have crazy-Hawaiian shirt zombie standing around the craps table grinning like an idiot and yelling, “Double fours, shooter. Double fours,” and when a seven pops up, Cheshire-smile zombie eats the brains of the roller. There is a lot of satiric material here to work with, if only Snyder and his screenwriter (Joby Harold) have the guts to mine it. And if Snyder can combine the stylish violence of 300 with an honest-to-goodness script, Army of the Dead may actually rock a little.

And, on DVD this week, check out Children of Men, one of last year’s better offerings (overlooked by that damned Academy), as well as the Oscar winner for Best Animated picture, Happy Feet. In addition, Will Smith’s tour de force in sappyness, The Pursuit Happyness makes itself available for Netflix queues, in addition to the releases of National Lampoon’s: The Rise of Taj, Turistas, and Curse of the Golden Flower.

And in showing my embarrassingly-ugly, drunken-frat-boy side news: We haven’t been able to get out and review this documentary yet, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not super-freakin’ stoked about seeing Air Guitar Nation. After all, air guitar is the greatest performance art of all time; take it from a guy who has collected a lot of bar-floor debris from doing impromptu air-guitar solos anytime “Guns N’ Roses” and a few Salty Dogs are combined. I am the Steve Vai of air guitar, bitches. Seriously: This looks like Spellbound for cool people, as long as you define a “cool person,” as someone with absolute no sense of shame or fear of embarrassment, and an unhealthy love of 80s-era guitar solos. Now, go on: Rock out with your bad selves. And Alexandra Lipsitz, if you know what’s good for your film, send this critic a screener.


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Comments

I. Hated. Titanic. So. Much. It was nothing but a three-hour-long ego wank for James Cameron with a few manipulative scenes thrown in to make the little girls cry and distract them from the on-screen wank. Bleh.

Posted by: stardust savant at March 27, 2007 9:59 AM

Question for you: Did you hate Titanic? Well, of course you did. You wouldn't be a regular reader of Pajiba if you didn't, now would you?

Uh... I've seen a hell of a lot worse?

Posted by: twig at March 27, 2007 10:22 AM

"...and honestly, can you do better than a Zombies-in-Vegas pic? It's actually pretty inspired, and somewhat hard to imagine it hasn't been done yet, given the nature of Sin City..."

In theaters, I recently saw the trailer for "Resident Evil: Whatever the hell one we're on now", and correct me if I'm wrong, but it very much appeared to be set in Vegas, or at least the dusty desert ruins of Vegas.

Posted by: KDM at March 27, 2007 10:25 AM

I hated (the idea of) Titanic so much that I never saw the movie.

Posted by: anikitty at March 27, 2007 10:37 AM

Ok serious question y'all.

WILL BASIC INSTINCT I be all SHARON STONE is recognised for. Seriously that's the only movie of hers that comes to mind when I hear her name.

I say Bitch needs a good deal.
Shazza let me be your agent?

Rocket sounds like a fucking drab.

Posted by: Jean at March 27, 2007 10:39 AM

Hey all let's play a game. Just finish this sentence after your comments.

You know Hollywood has gone downhill when....

Me: When they cast Jimmy Fallon, Lucy Liu, Sharon Stone and whatishisface in the same MOVIE!!!

Posted by: Judith at March 27, 2007 10:42 AM

So curious to see how Revolutionary Road, one of my favorite books, does in Hollywood's hands.

As to Rocket, which will hopefully go straight-to-video at a rocket's pace, I was just getting over having to suspend my disbelief of the Liu/Fallon pairing (Liu, though grating, is beautiful while Fallon, well, you're cute on your best day) when I was confronted with the Stone/Arnold pairing. In the immortal words of Uncle Junior, the fuck? Am I really to believe that Liu would sit around waiting for the likes of Fallon to commit to her and, worse, that Sharon Stone would up and marry the likes of Tom Arnold? I know that it's superficial of me to focus on the leads' appearances, but you NEVER, EVER see the reverse unless that's the point of the whole damn movie (i.e. Circle of Friends).

Posted by: Samantha T at March 27, 2007 10:43 AM

There's something poetic about an air guitarist using the phrase "keep it real".

Posted by: ormond at March 27, 2007 10:57 AM

Revolutionary Road is a tremendously good book.

Sam Mendes will turn it into American Beauty 2: OMG, Like, People in the Suburbs Are So Totally Shallow.

Great.

Posted by: Bugs Meany at March 27, 2007 11:01 AM

Well, Titanic got me laid so.......

Posted by: tom twist at March 27, 2007 11:24 AM

God, I hated Titanic. It probably is why I'm here at Pajiba so often craving the company of like-minded misanthropes. The office I worked at when Titanic came out was full of women who became misty-eyed over DiCaprio's love for the Winslet character hanging on to her in the freezing water until he died. They're the same people who thought the only good part of the English Patient was Fiennes risking his life to go back to the corpse of the woman he loved. And by way of a benchmark here, these same women thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing that Lloyd Dobler would stand outside a house with a boombox playing In Your Eyes. Sometimes I'm so ashamed of my gender!

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 27, 2007 11:42 AM

Sorry. I still haven't forgiven Dicaprio. And it's going to take a hell of a lot more than The Departed until I do.

Posted by: cinekat at March 27, 2007 11:42 AM

Once again, I am compelled to write and offer up my Pajiba ID card for recall, as I did in fact like Titanic. Once again, I say in my defense that it was not the love story that got to me (I still don't understand why, if Leo really loved her, he didn't get on top of his own piece of wreckage, survive, and marry the poor girl), but the immense tragedy of the ship itself, particularly the needless loss of life brought on by artificial class differences, bad planning and the darker side of human nature.

Also, Lucy Liu may not be the greatest actress, but she is NOT in the same class as future(?) Surreal Life contestants Tom Arnold and Jimmy Fallon. Sharon Stone gets a pass from me for Basic Instinct. If they really wanted to hit the suckfest-trifecta, they would have cast Paris Hilton and/or Horatio Sanz.

Posted by: bartap at March 27, 2007 11:52 AM

I have alienated so many people by saying "I hate that movie!" every time I hear the word "Titanic". That's why I'm here.

Posted by: Lainie at March 27, 2007 11:53 AM

I agree Bugs. Great, great book. There's almost no way it can translate well to the screen. Partly because the tone of the novel is the product of such a specific time and place, a time and place that it's almost impossible to picture Kate and Leo in.

Posted by: JMW at March 27, 2007 11:57 AM

Oh, and to chime in on the Titanic debate, such as it is -- I thought that once the ship started sinking, it at least turned into a decent special-effects thrill ride. The problem was that it seemed like there was about fifteen hours of utter crap before that point.

Posted by: JMW at March 27, 2007 11:58 AM

I didn't hate Titanic, but come on, I was 15 years old when I saw it for the first time. I didn't mind sitting for four hours and ignoring my engorged bladder to see Leo and Kate's wuv on the big screen, sighing wistfully.
I made many, many mistakes in my life.

Posted by: Cait at March 27, 2007 12:00 PM

I was 14 when Titanic made it's debut, and I am thankful that I was grounded at that given point in time. So I didn't have to endure a massive cryfest of young girls in the theatre swooning over Leo.

I have seen it twice in my life, and never fully front to back. There is only one good part in the movie and thats when the boat is breaking in half and this guy falls and bounces off the propeller. I have this thing for random displays of violence!!!!

Posted by: Jax at March 27, 2007 12:23 PM

Lloyd Dobler.... my dream man (i'm with you on this paddydog, too many bad chick flicks)

Posted by: Helen at March 27, 2007 12:44 PM

Bugs Meany - I worry about that, too. They'll probably even change the time period or, worse, make it Far From Heaven II (I hated Far From Heaven - probably an unpopular opinion here. I'd rather watch Titanic than FFH. There. I've said it).

Posted by: Samantha T at March 27, 2007 12:46 PM

I cannot remember if Resident Evil 2 was shot in a Vegas-esque city...I have heard that Resident Evil 3 is in the works, however.

When I first saw Titanic at 16 I cried and thought it was great. When I saw it for the secong time when I was 20 I wanted to personally kill James Cameron. Either I grew cynical and bitter between ages 16 and 20 (possible), or college film classes really did make me super-wise and intolerant to crap (far more likely).

Posted by: Claire at March 27, 2007 12:56 PM

Jax, it's like you're reading my mind. I will only add that the deep, satisfying "bong" the propeller guy makes on impact kept that movie from being a complete suckfest. And the pinwheeling down to the water afterwards? Forget about it.

Posted by: jon29 at March 27, 2007 1:01 PM

I cannot remember if Resident Evil 2 was shot in a Vegas-esque city...

No. Raccoon City was just a city. However there were zombie prostitutes.

(Resident Evil 2 is one of those many, many movies worse than Titanic, and I actually liked 75% of the first R.E. The only thing any good in R.E. 2 was cowboy guy)

Posted by: twig at March 27, 2007 1:05 PM

I was in 4th grade when Titanic came out. As was the cool(ish) way to do things back then, I went with a huge group of friends - about seven girls, one guy, and probably a parent hiding a row or two behind us.

At the end, when Winslet says "I'll never let go" and then proceeds to actually let go, I mistook the cracking sound of the ice breaking between their hands to be Rose actually breaking Jack's frozen hand off of at the wrist so she could keep her promise to not let go while letting the rest of his body sink to the bottom of the ocean.

There is nothing like the look of wrath delivered from a pre-teen girl when her DiCaprio-induced romantic hysterics are garishly interrupted by loud, uncontrollable laughter.

Posted by: Cheryl at March 27, 2007 1:30 PM

Oooh, oooh! Another vote here for "never seen Titantic!" Hear that? Fuck you, Titantic!

I remember when it came out, as if my overall cynically suspicious nature and short attention span weren't enough to prevent me from seeing such rubbish, my recently prefixed ex-boyfriend informed me that he was taking his new girl to see it. And then BOY did I hate that movie!

Posted by: litelysalted at March 27, 2007 1:46 PM

Aw. They Might Be Giants. In a Pajiba headline. I will happily be building birdhouses all day.

Posted by: splendidchoicesir at March 27, 2007 1:50 PM

Cheryl, that made my day. I'm not kidding. Hysterically funny.

Posted by: Samantha T at March 27, 2007 1:55 PM

Oh my goodness. I will never forget the soggy-faced glares I got from my friends at the end of that movie.

I think I was known as "the girl who laughed when Jack died" for a long time after that. I'm pretty sure at least one of them still hasn't completely gotten over it.

But oh man, it was hilarious.

Posted by: Cheryl at March 27, 2007 2:20 PM

And how long did it take you to finally get over Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet's participation in that film? It wasn't until DiCaprio did The Departed before I fully forgave him, though Winslet redeemed herself fairly quickly by following Titanic up with some fairly adventurous roles.

Man, uncanny!! I said almost this exact same thing when I heard that they were going to be in a movie together!! I think I said the DiCaprio part verbatim!!

Off Topic: Dude, while I was writing this, a coworker came into my office to ask me a (dumb) question and, MAN, I don't think the guy's showered or brushed his teeth in a month!! GAAAH!!! I can't get his stench out of my nostrils!!

Sorry, just had to tell someone.

Posted by: Jelinas at March 27, 2007 2:23 PM

To contiribute my two cents for the oncoing titanic Horror story:

I was 19, it was the first year I was in this country, so I didn't know better. The girl I liked was 30 minutes late and brought a "guy friend" with her. We got there 1 hour into the movie. Didn't miss a thing. Never saw it again and never will. So there.

Posted by: yocean at March 27, 2007 2:32 PM

Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight was one of my roommates and my favorite late night inebriated and need crappy entertainment movies. We bought it for a dollar at a video store that was going out of business.
So when I finally saw Titanic (also on video), I just couldn't concentrate because every time Billy Zane came on screen all I could think of was "F*ck this cowboy sh*t!" until eventually I was rooting for Cal over Jack and waiting for the demons to be released.

Posted by: missmle at March 27, 2007 3:01 PM

And how long did it take you to finally get over Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet's participation in that film? It wasn't until DiCaprio did The Departed before I fully forgave him, though Winslet redeemed herself fairly quickly by following Titanic up with some fairly adventurous roles.

I've yet to fully forgive DiCaprio, the Departed was large step in the right direction, one more good performance, maybe a quirky indie role, ought to do it. As for Winslet, all was forgiven when she, gratuitously and unnecessarily, removed her top in the film. To me that was her way of saying "I'm sorry you suffered through this shit, let me try and make it up to you". And I'll be dammed if I'm not gonna accept a lady's sincere apology.

And people say I'm shallow.

Posted by: BlackWolf at March 27, 2007 3:09 PM

I will only add that the deep, satisfying "bong" the propeller guy makes on impact kept that movie from being a complete suckfest. And the pinwheeling down to the water afterwards? Forget about it.


*Flashback*


(Guy hits propeller... BONG!)


MY DATE: "Holy shit, holy shit, did you see that? He bounced. That's beautiful."


He had to leave the theater at that point. He couldn't stop laughing.


Though the movie itself was completely hollow, I had toured the "Titanic" exhibit the month before. The exhibit talked about the women who refused to leave their husbands behind and went down with them. The one shot in the movie that shows the old couple in bed holding each other as the water rises made me lose my shit. Old people have that effect on me. I also got bleary-eyed when the band continued to play "Nearer my God to Thee." Absolute chills. (Also detailed in the exhibit).


I'm not sure if this would have bothered me if I hadn't known it was true, so I still maintain that the movie is poop. Wait... poop floats...

Posted by: superedna at March 27, 2007 3:45 PM

I like the They Might Be Giants reference. Nice.

Posted by: joann marie at March 27, 2007 3:49 PM

Titanic was total cognitive dissonance for me. On the one hand, I thought the dissolves between the actual sunken vessel and the "restored" ship were great, I loved Gloria Whatshername, and the special effects (other than the obviously fake teeny people in that one overhead sweep) were good.

On the other hand?

1. JACK! JACK! JACK! (My parents
have an old Stan Frieberg album with a "John! Marsha!" bit, and it's all I could think about from about the half-way point of the movie onward.)

2. James Horner and His Bombasticatious Score!

3. Bill Pullman. Terrible. Ruined every scene he was in.

4. JACK! JACK!

Once was enough.

Posted by: Louise at March 27, 2007 4:00 PM

Um. I actually like Jimmy Fallon. For me, he's like that good friend who inadvertently embarrasses you in public from time to time. You try to tell him, but he just puts a wide-eyed look and tells you that he didn't really do anything inappropriate, and that the guy standing behind you on the cinema queue totally didn't hear him comment on his uncannily resemblance to President Nixon.

I just want him to do well in life and get work, but away from my sight.

So yeah, um... I hated Titanic too?

Posted by: MJ at March 27, 2007 4:01 PM

Louise - I love that bit... "John, John, John, JOHN" "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, oh, MARSHA!" But then, Stan Freeberg is a genius.

Posted by: pinkcheese at March 27, 2007 4:09 PM

I saw Titanic twice in theaters, once on video. Okay, I have to say I really liked it on the big screen...but seeing it without eating a batch of 'special brownies' and a group of people pointing out the dead guy that looks like Uncle Fester shows you exactly what a piece of crap film it really is. After watching it on video , I can safely say that it's not even a good bad movie. It's just shit!

Posted by: Morgan at March 27, 2007 4:13 PM

Ok I'll be the first to confess...I saw sHitanic about 30 times, when I was between the ages of 18 and 20...finally realized what a crock of shit that "love story" was...call it cynicism, I guess? Getting wiser as I get older, perhaps?

But I've ALWAYS loved Lloyd Dobler, from the first time I saw Say Anything years ago...and I always will.

Posted by: KND at March 27, 2007 5:18 PM

Sorry, I must be one of the few adults who actually both liked Titanic and enjoy the bitchiness that is Pajiba. I loved the attention to detail and I loved the stunt work and the special effects and the fabulous costumes, and Kathy Bates as Molly Brown, yes, dammit, even the contrived wuv story between Jack & Rose. Now, "The Ballad of Jack & Rose": what a piece of shit; the only reason to watch that steaming hunk of celluloid garbage is because Catherine Keener co-stars in it.

Posted by: Matt at March 27, 2007 5:25 PM

At the end, when Winslet says "I'll never let go" and then proceeds to actually let go, I mistook the cracking sound of the ice breaking between their hands to be Rose actually breaking Jack's frozen hand off of at the wrist so she could keep her promise to not let go while letting the rest of his body sink to the bottom of the ocean.

I thought I was the only one who thought that! I'm glad I'm not the only sicko.

Posted by: Bee at March 27, 2007 5:45 PM

"And how long did it take you to finally get over Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet's participation in that film? "
I couldn't even stand the sight of Leo for YEARS after this movie, so much so that I skipped every DiCaprio movie after that. I probably would've skipped The Departed too, if not for having
recently re-watched What's Eating Gilbert Grape.
Maybe I was just weak, but I ask you, could you stay mad at him after a performance like that?

Posted by: Mike at March 27, 2007 6:07 PM

It's funny because I loooved Titanic but I can't bring myself to watch another movie they've been in since. None (at least not all the way through). I even rented The Departed but I turned it back in after one month and 28 minutes. I got turned off by it and had to send it back.

Posted by: Candy at March 27, 2007 6:20 PM

I know this makes me an insufferable fanboy dork, but the title of the brilliant masterpiece that Zack Snyder will probably fuck up is simply "Watchmen" not "The Watchmen". Sorry, but I had to. Really.

Posted by: Adam at March 27, 2007 6:35 PM

I, also was freaked out by the cracking sound, thinking his hand broke off! It was all I could do not to laugh out loud, since my wife and her sister were both bawling their eyes out at the time. Thankfully, 2 viewings were enough for them to never see it again! (although my wife bought it before that happened!)

Posted by: derekthered at March 27, 2007 6:37 PM

I just want to add that I didn't see Titanic until it was in the theaters for four months. I hated the movie without seeing it but it was everywhere.

I finally got fed up and went to see it out of digust after my third sister came home crying and locked herself in her fucking bedroom for two days. It also pissed me off that it took away some thunder from 'Tomorrow Never Dies', but my sister pissed me off even more so I went to watch it just so I could torment her point by point. I wound up loving the movie. I haven't been happy with myself ever since.

Posted by: Candy at March 27, 2007 6:55 PM

Samantha T, I hated "Far From Heaven" too. I thought it was terrible.

The other night, I was flipping through and had the misfortune to catch 30 seconds of Titanic, where the dialogue was so bad and stilted between Winslet and DiCaprio that I cringed anew.

Posted by: Lilly at March 27, 2007 7:56 PM

My teenage sister made me watch Titanic when it came on cable. I couldn't even sit through all of it. The story of the Titanic itself is always poignant but I could not have cared less about the romance between the two characters. I would rather watch a documentary on the History Channel. When Leo's character sank into the frozen sea I thought, "finally, God!"

DiCaprio is dead to me.

I could never bring myself to hate La Winslet owing to my slight girl crush on her.

I forgave Sharon Stone temporarily after Casino. But then she lost me again.

Posted by: Greer at March 27, 2007 8:19 PM

Creepy old people with sallow skin mechanically chain-smoking while methodically sticking in quarter after quarter and pulling levers in a zombie-like fashion, as their souls are slowly sucked into the dry Vegas atmosphere.

Oh thank goodness. One of my burning questions might finally be answered. Whenever I'm having problems falling asleep, I tend to think about zombies, preferably zombies in comical situations. The thing that's been troubling me is..

Would a zombie with dentures be merely a nuisance?

And on the Titanic topic, I've never seen the movie, but I did see the desperate ratings grab imitation on Passions that had Sheridan and Luis, in a past life, instead of Jack and Rose. I always laughed hysterically at the "ice chunks" clinging to Luis's eyebrows, as those clips were endlessly recycled on the show, but I'm pretty sure that's all the shipwreck I can handle.

Posted by: kate at March 27, 2007 8:23 PM

I'm seeing a theme - that people loved the peripheral characters in Titanic, but not the main ones. I, for one, loved Billy Zane in all his eyelinered glory. He was SUCH a bastard and so campy - how could you not love him? The side dramas were compelling, if stereotypical: the musicians on the deck, the captain who killed himself, the poor bastards stuck on the lower decks. It was Jack and Rose I couldn't have given a shit about. Oh, and Gloria Whatever - the most undeserved Oscar nomination of all time. Oh, wait - I almost forgot about Kate Hudson.

Lilly, so happy to see a fellow Far-from-Heaven hater. You may remember me from an earlier anti-Julianne Moore rant.

Posted by: Samantha T at March 27, 2007 8:58 PM

I was really hoping that the They Might Be Giants headline was leading to information about a TMBG movie or documentary of sorts (even though there already is one).

Posted by: Katie at March 27, 2007 9:17 PM

Lloyd Dobbler...sigh! I used to wish for him to show up at my window! Most romantic thing ever! Still one of my fav girlie movie moments!

Posted by: kim at March 27, 2007 9:54 PM

3. Bill Pullman. Terrible. Ruined every scene he was in.
Hold the phone. Granted, it's been years since I've seen the movie, but I could have sworn that it was Bill Paxton as the sucky excavation leader. I'm not ashamed to say that I actually don't hate (nay, even like) Bill Pullman.

The only thing I really liked about Titanic? Rose's dresses. I still covet the blue dress she wore, only because Kate Winslet ROCKED it, and that shade of blue is my favorite color.

And yes, I'm still mad that Kate Hudson is an "Oscar-nominated" actress. Suck it, Kate.

What is the general fascination with Julianne Moore? Is it because she's a redhead? I don't get it.

Also, Billy Zane is awesome. That is all.

Posted by: Daphne at March 27, 2007 10:08 PM

"The movie itself is about an guy (Fallon) that has problems committing to his girlfriend (Liu) because of his troubled relationship with his unhappily married parents (Stone and Arnold). How unbelievably original is that spec?!"

No less original than the Winslet/Dicaprio project sounds.
Don't get me wrong, I also forgave Leo because of his performance in the Darparted, and I've developed enough respect for Winslet because of her choices in projects before and since Titanic. Titanic sucked because of it's story and direction, not for it's stars. But I feel profoundly uninterested in seeing anything that revisits the same old tired American Beauty themes.

Mike: "I couldn't even stand the sight of Leo for YEARS after this movie, so much so that I skipped every DiCaprio movie after that. I probably would've skipped The Departed too, if not for having
recently re-watched What's Eating Gilbert Grape."

I so agree! WEGG was the first movie I saw Leo in, so many years ago, and I have been wanting to like him again for so long. I saw "the Departed" with the same friend I had watched WEGG with, and we both agreed-- the guy finally made it back into our hearts.

Posted by: Ari at March 27, 2007 10:23 PM

I saw Titanic exactly once, in a theater. I began crying about an hour in and pretty much leaked from the face for the rest of the movie.

As soon as it ended I knew better than to ever try to watch it again; that would surely ruin it.

While I agree that most of the script was ridiculous, I did think that DiCaprio and, especially, Winslet were both good enough actors to transcend the silliness. They were able to tug at my heartstrings, and that doesn't happen often.

But what really kept the tears flowing was all the peripheral stuff (as has been noted above by others). The director (his name escapes me at the moment) took great care with historical detail. That old couple who drowned together rather than be separated, who made you cry? They were real people, according to eyewitness accounts. Many of the actors who had only one or two lines--or no lines at all--were cast for their physical resemblance to real Titanic passengers.

--Cameron! That's the guy's name! He does deserve credit for his enormous efforts to be true to history, Jack and Rose notwithstanding.

Posted by: Jerce at March 27, 2007 10:29 PM

Daphne - you are 100% right that it's Paxton, not Pullman. And, yet, there I am, lovin' the Pax on Big Love. I guess sometimes an actor just needs to find the right role - I can't picture anybody playing that role on BL.

Winslet was forgiven everything solely because she was in "Heavenly Creatures." I've worshipped her ever since. Same with DiCaprio for "What's Eating GG." I also thought he really shone in "The Departed." He's going places.

Posted by: Samantha T at March 27, 2007 10:46 PM

I can forgive Bill Paxton for damn near anything. I love that man.

Posted by: superedna at March 27, 2007 11:12 PM

Seriously..........Don't know/care about Titanic/Decaprio but this misguided worship of "The Departed" has got to stop. While Leo was far from the worst element in the film (think Nicholson) this was at best an embarassing effort from the brilliant Scorcese.
The final shot of that film actually made me lose faith in everything that is decent.
A Rat???? C'mon Marty............

Posted by: mrmook at March 28, 2007 1:06 AM

I often forget that both Leo and Sharon Stone are in one of my all-time favorite movies (a bit of a guilty pleasure, I must admit), The Quick and the Dead. I thought they were both quite good in it and, for some reason, it never gets old. Also, true story, I first saw it in the theaters in Budapest, Hungary (English language, Hungarian subtitles).

Posted by: bartap74 at March 28, 2007 2:16 AM

Ack! Paxton! Yes, of course. And I've liked BillPax in other stuff -- but in Titanic he was so stiff that all his lines sounded like bad ADR.

Lloyd Dobler. Oh my yes.

Posted by: Louise at March 28, 2007 2:25 AM

Thank you for pointing out the Paxton/Pullman confusion. Paxton sucks up everything he's in and he didn't spare Titanic.

Posted by: Wanda at March 28, 2007 2:43 AM

Good Lord, It was exhausting to read all those comments.

Short Form:

1) Hate Titanic. But the "Demon Knight" trick makes it funnier in retrospect.

2) Leave Lucy Liu alone. She is very beautiful, true, but she is pretty good as an actress. Too bad her more prominent stuff is so crappy. You can only do so much to fix Ecks vs. Sever onscreen.

3) I am also annoyed at the addition of "The" to Watchmen. Altering the title is rarely a good sign. If it was good enough for Alan Moore, it should be good enough for Snyder.

4) The next Resident Evil movie is NOT taking place in Las Vegas, but rather in a post-apocalypse U.S. Take from that what you will.

Posted by: Vermillion at March 28, 2007 3:41 AM

Nevermind DiCap and Winslet--it's freaking _Cameron_ who has yet to earn my forgiveness for Titanic.

What happened?!

Posted by: ranylt at March 28, 2007 8:59 AM

Who could possibly hate Bill Paxton? Chet from Weird Science? Hudson from Aliens? Simon from True Lies? OK, sure, he slipped up with Thunderbirds and Twister and, well, yeah, Mighty Joe Young, but still. We can't ignore what he's given us.

Titanic was unforgivable because it ushered in the next wave of giant, over-wrought, idiotic epics. I can forgive Leo and Kate, because they've easily redeemed themselves since.

Posted by: TK at March 28, 2007 9:30 AM

Hate to nit-pick, but I've not heard or read about Zach Snyder referring to Watchmen as The Watchmen. I think that is Dustin's error.

Posted by: stardust savant at March 28, 2007 9:51 AM

I cannot believe I just read a thread that referenced BOTH They Might Be Giants AND Stan Freberg. I freaking love you guys.


***minor quibble - it's "Make a little Birdhouse in your Soul." A for effort, though.

Posted by: Tammy at March 28, 2007 10:56 AM

I was 11 when I saw Titanic. It pretty much fucked me up for a whole week and kickstarted an unhealthy fascination for DiCaprio that would (mercifully) end around age 14.

I do believe James Cameron owes me 4 years of my life for that. And I want my money back for The Leonardo DiCaprio Album.

Posted by: Dingles at March 28, 2007 12:32 PM

2) Leave Lucy Liu alone. She is very beautiful, true, but she is pretty good as an actress. Too bad her more prominent stuff is so crappy. You can only do so much to fix Ecks vs. Sever onscreen.

Oh God. I love Lucy Liu, and agree that she's a good actress, but I'm still trying to erase Ecks vs Sever from my mind. Thank you, Vermillion, for pouring salt on an old wound.

I totally forgot Paxton was Simon from True Lies! Ha! He was an awesome cowardly asshole. But I've had a strong aversion to him ever since Titanic, and it's never fully worn off. Granted, I don't Showtime (or is it HBO?) so I don't watch Big Love, the show in which I've heard much acclaim for him.

Posted by: Daphne at March 28, 2007 7:43 PM

Frailty anyone?

Posted by: superedna at March 28, 2007 9:14 PM

Did you hate Titanic? Well, of course you did. You wouldn't be a regular reader of Pajiba if you didn't, now would you?

I was fourteen! Fourteen and female and crushingly sentimental...surely that's some excuse.

Posted by: Fionnabhair at March 28, 2007 10:00 PM

"I was fourteen! Fourteen and female and crushingly sentimental...surely that's some excuse."

You know what? After reading this comment and so many others like it above, I have to admit I'm a little more understanding about Titanic's success/effects. I was well past my hormonal phase when it came out, so I couldn't understand the big deal (and mocked away)--but Fionna and other posters have reminded me that being a teenage girl is like treading human sentimental waste in an emotional cesspool. Melville's "Billy Budd" was my Titanic, I think--I had to read it for class when I was 16 or so, and I was WRECKED FOR DAYS and couldn't bear to attend the class when we'd be discussing my Billy's execution.

Laugh at Ranylt...NOW!

Posted by: ranylt at March 29, 2007 8:15 AM





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