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If I Have to Lay My Hands on You, It Won’t End Until One of Us is Dead on the Floor

The Weekly Geek / Claude Weaver III

Trade News | December 9, 2008 | Comments (31)

Let me get something off my chest first: damn you, Prisco. Damn you for scooping me. You know what I mean. Frakkin’ bastitch thinks he can get on TV, and now he is all hot monkey loaf. Before I came along, you couldn’t tell your Moore from your Micheline. You were nothing before me, Prisco! Nothing! NOTHING!!!!!

*ahem* Sorry about that.

First stupid item, because a stupidhead stole my original post: Vanguard Films has purchased the rights to Emo Boy, a comic from Slave Labor Graphics. The script, written by the comic’s writer-artist Stephen Edmond, is a satirical look at “the most self-dramatizing young man in the history of the world, whose emotions were so intense he even had ‘emo powers.’” Of course, they had to ruin it by describing the project as “being in the tone of Napoleon Dynamite, Harold and Maude and Zoolander.” Really? You want to compare your film to those? I mean, Harold and Maude? Isn’t that setting yourself up for a letdown? And I won’t even bother with the other two films named. Anyway, the film is to be directed by Kyle Newman, the director of the oft-delayed Fanboys.

In movie video-game news, Ghostbusters: The Video Game is back on track for release. After getting delayed over and over again, and then almost being canceled due to budget cuts at original publisher Vivendi, it seems that Atari has taken up the cause and is planning to put it out in June 2009, exactly 25 years after the original film’s release. Here is the latest trailer, featuring the voices of the original cast in their next-gen glory:

An item brought to my attention by our leader of increasingly doubtful sexual orientation: Warner Bros. seems to be debating to move on with the Superman franchise without Bryan Singer. In an interview with UGO, Singer cryptically states how he isn’t officially involved with talks on the next film, but he is not yet kicked off. There has been much discussion about rebooting the franchise, closer to Nolan’s work on Batman than Singer’s initial plan to make the films a new set of sequels to Richard Donner’s original films.

After the abysmal reception of Superman Returns, it isn’t a shocker. Maybe if Singer just SAID he was going to do a near-Psycho-like remake of the first film, people wouldn’t have been so hostile. Seriously, dude, I loved Donner and Christopher Reeve, too. But you need to make your own movie, instead of being so chickenshit you copy someone else’s. I do wonder if Singer would have brought Zod back. Singer has mentioned a desire to go all Wrath of Khan on the character, and Terrence Stamp is still quite imposing.

This week, I don’t have a trailer for you. Instead, I have a little treat for you courtesy of Seth Green and “Robot Chicken.” I actually do have a little tidbit related to this: an Australian newspaper claims that Joss Whedon is secretly working on a big-screen resurrection of his flagship “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” The Herald-Sun reports that Whedon was inspired to take another shot at the character in a film due to, believe it or not, the success of the movie Twilight. That’s right: you have Unwashed Sparkly Vampire Man and all the panties he creamed for the return of Buffy. Of course, this could be a load of the highest magnitude. I shall keep you posted.

Anyway, back to Green. Seriously, this guy is becoming the nerdy equivalent of Kevin Bacon:


To close out, I leave you a link to the many deaths of Batman, a retrospective of the Caped Crusader’s many actual demises, in anticipation to the conclusion of the “Batman, RIP” storyline going on in the comics. Enjoy.

Claude Weaver III, aka Vermillion, should be studying for his finals. But he was going to fail anyway, so no biggie. He can be scolded for his lack of responsibility on his blog, Vermillion’s Brain Receptacle.









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Comments

Wha....!?!???!??!?! I ... the.... he.... I ....


.....


OK. I'm back. I went to ecstatic land for a few minutes there. What's with all the Buffy joy today? i love it, because my morning has been thus far disastrous.
Now for the problematic aspect: SMG will never do it. Isn't she all "too good for Buffy" now? Well, whatev. It may be a load anyway, so I'll just wait and see. My joy would know no bounds, though, if it were to happen.

And, can I also say, I was pretty disappointed by "Wolves at the Gate". I waited and waited and finally it was in and... really? Really?! Thoughts? Just me? Nobody has any idea what I'm talking about?

Fine. I'll just go back to fighting with my stupid paper-destroying printer then.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 9, 2008 11:11 AM

I am not getting my hopes up for the Buffy movie, because my love for that series is so profound that I don't know that my heart could take a crushing disappointment like the film not coming into fruition.

Wanna know how freaky obsessed I am with the show?

In my Patent Law class in law school, we had to make up an object and write a patent for it (not as easy as it sounds...most objects have already been thunk up). I patented a frakkin' wooden spike with breakaway glass chamber containing holy water, just in case Buffy's aim was off and she needed a backup plan. Basically, it was stake, miss, break, poof.

I got an "A" on the assignment. Luckily, the prof was as big a nerd as I.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at December 9, 2008 11:11 AM

"an Australian newspaper claims that Joss Whedon is secretly working on a big-screen resurrection of his flagship "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: marya at December 9, 2008 11:12 AM

....aaand I knew I loved that big Pink Hulk for a reason.

Every time I had a paper to write in a class, I would try to make it about Buffy. It worked about 40% of the time.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 9, 2008 11:15 AM

And, can I also say, I was pretty disappointed by "Wolves at the Gate". I waited and waited and finally it was in and... really? Really?! Thoughts? Just me?

Sorry, I'm loving season 8. Every other comic I read is going down the shitter, now it's pretty much just Buffy and Echo.

Posted by: twig at December 9, 2008 11:20 AM

"my morning has been thus far disastrous"

AvB,

If you can just make it until noon, my sweet, all your trials and tribulations shall be blissfully and ecstatically and orgasmically forgotten ...

Posted by: bucdaddy at December 9, 2008 11:24 AM

I loved the first two. I liked parts of it, but I got distracted by Buffy's *****SPOILERS****** love interest. Or, casual sex interest, I guess. Why would they take it there? It was just so jarringly out of character, I thought. Took me right out of the story. I don't know, I was just let down a bit.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 9, 2008 11:27 AM

Sorry but no, leave Buffy be, she had become quite the cunt by the end, that series was dragging ass.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 9, 2008 11:32 AM

bucdaddy, that knowledge is what's keeping me sane. Or, relatively so.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 9, 2008 11:33 AM

The was cold what Prisco did. I saw the news on the interwebs yesterday and was figuring it would be mentioned in our "Weekly Geek". Evil Priscoses...

While I agree with B-Slim that the series was really dragging by the end of it, I still think a movie could really work. Boreanaz has been looking very good the last few years (he really ballooned in those last few years on Angel) and Xander could certainly use the work.

I loved the hell out of "Buffy". I was close to obssessed with it for a while there (in a good way, not in a creepy "Twilight" sort of way). The show started to lose steam in the 5th season really. There were still a number of standout episodes after that ("The Body", "Once More With Feeling", "Conversations With Dead People", etc.), but the series had lost its way a bit. The Willow addicted to magic thing was beyond stupid (especally that whole magic crack house place) and the Slayerettes were deeply irritating.

Still, with Whedon and the cast behind it, I would totally be up for a movie.

I am still behind on Season 8. I just wait for the trades.

Posted by: ajax19 at December 9, 2008 11:47 AM

AvB, what happens at noon? Did I miss something?

Posted by: lizzieborden at December 9, 2008 11:49 AM

I think the most important thing we all should glean from this post is that they took my idea for Emo Boy (see the comments diversion about superheroes). And it sounds like it's going to suck...

Also, I'm getting an ad for the new Buffy comic at the bottom of the post that makes me really want to go out and buy it.

Posted by: Macafee at December 9, 2008 11:55 AM

A big part of the problem, at least for me, was Buffy's selective morality, bitch broke the rules whenever it was convenient for *her* and then was all holier-than-thou and willing to whack Willow when she was getting her revenge on, FUCK THAT. I was soured on the character from then on.

Side note: Vermillion should just go Pajiba-Thunderdome on Priscoe's ass.

TWO NERDS ENTER! ONE NERD LEAVES!

Available weapons: Bat'leghs

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 9, 2008 11:56 AM

Boy, did I speak too soon or what?

Posted by: Jay at December 9, 2008 12:02 PM

bucdaddy and I have a standing appointment at noon on Tuesdays, lizzie. Let's just say, it doesn't involve much standing.

Side note: Vermillion should just go Pajiba-Thunderdome on Priscoe's ass.

TWO NERDS ENTER! ONE NERD LEAVES!

HA!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 9, 2008 12:04 PM

It doesn't involve standing so much as face-sitting, Lizzie.

I'm with B-Slim, Buffy was such a thundercooze by the end of the series that I openly called for her death in every episode.

Poor Xander.

Posted by: Julie at December 9, 2008 12:20 PM


Have I mentioned lately how much I want to have Seth Green's babies. I know it wouldn't work, but I sure would enjoy the effort.

Hey Pink Hulk, next I'm visiting my sister and family in B'Ham we should get together and have a mini-pajiba-nerd-queer-fest.

Posted by: Drake at December 9, 2008 12:23 PM

Side note: Vermillion should just go Pajiba-Thunderdome on Priscoe's ass.

TWO NERDS ENTER! ONE NERD LEAVES!

Available weapons: Bat'leghs

In that case, Vermillion....

QAPLA'!

Posted by: ajax19 at December 9, 2008 12:31 PM

This is going to be so funny watching V and Prisco fight to see who can become the first D-list celebrity from the house of pajiba.

Posted by: Pookie at December 9, 2008 12:48 PM

Buffy movie? Oh, god, how badly do I want that? I know the show kinda sucked for the last two seasons, but honestly, I don't care - all would be forgiven for 2 more hours where, with any luck, Spike being written out of the main BtVS canon and into AtS will keep him far away and reduce Buffy's annoyingness by at least 42%.

As for SMG's willingness to do it, honestly, it's been about 5 years and she hasn't exactly done anything much since. If Joss writes something over the next year and shows it to her then I'd say she'll jump at the chance. I'd be more worried about people like Hannigan, who has a relatively successful sitcom now, and Head, who may well have reached the "fuck this shit, I'm too old for vampire movies" point.

Posted by: Shay at December 9, 2008 1:14 PM

Well, Head did just do an operatic musical about human organ repossession with Paris Hilton, so he may be quite ready to get back to a more Giles-like role.

I feel like I recall SMG refusing to guest on the last season of Angel (though, to be fair, that was immediately after the demise of Buffy), and also to have anything to do with convention-type reunions (though, to be fair, those places are full of losers, not that I know this from first hand experience AT ALL). I just feel like she got kind of snobby about the whole Buffy thing. Maybe it's just my (admittedly faulty) recollection though.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 9, 2008 1:31 PM

Hell yeah, Drake. You just let me know when! I'll have some Buffy's DVDs and a bottle of Boone's Farm on the ready. :)

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at December 9, 2008 1:33 PM

Isn't the actor who played Xander currently embarrassing us all as a secondary-character-boyfriend-plot-fluffer over on Criminal Minds?

If so, I'm sure he's much too busy to take on anything else.

Posted by: J_Capri at December 9, 2008 2:32 PM

Xander's (aka Nicholas Brendon) doing great--he was in a horror movie about a killer piñata in which he got to make out with Jaime Pressly. He also will be co-starring in another horror flick with...Michael Madsen. Mr. Blonde himself! Wow!

Posted by: stryker1121 at December 9, 2008 3:33 PM

I enjoeyed everything about Buffy except Buffy, and Sarah Michelle Gellar AS Buffy.

Dislike the character, dislike the actress- everything else about the show was pretty cool.

Posted by: Meander at December 9, 2008 6:53 PM

Ghostbusters: The Video Game trailer seems ok; since most of the cast is in this project, it can't be bad...right? the only thing that saddens me is the lack of Rick Moranis

Posted by: Radlum at December 9, 2008 7:07 PM

AvonB - from what I recall, SMG's reason for not doing the last few episodes of "Angel" was that she was filming "The Grudge 2". I also recall something about not wanting to overshadow the show by having the finale involve loads of Buffy, letting it keep its own separate identity (...built around a whole bunch of BtVS alumni), though I can't remember if that was her or Joss or random producer X. And she was definitely in a convention photo over the summer, it was linked to in an old Pajiba Love if I recall correctly - I definitely remember my "Holy shit, SMG is there?!" reaction. Not that she can't be an asshat egoist at times, but I think given her utter lack of success in just about everything since BtVS ended, she may be ready to come back.

And yeah, good point about ASH. I mean, if you'll star in something that has the words "...featuring Paris Hilton!" attached, there's really no lower place, is there?

Posted by: Shay at December 9, 2008 8:16 PM

Yeah, see, I remember hearing a lot of stuff floating around, but I mostly ignored it, as I didn't want it to ruin the show for me. I did love the whole Andrew/"Buffy's dating the Immortal" storyline, that made it fun and less disappointing that she didn't cameo.

She really showed at a convention? I'm fairly shocked, though I really don't have anything against SMG; I actually wind up renting every single thing she's in. Except Grudge 2. Because... well, 2. I think mainly I just don't want to get my hopes up and then be disappointed...

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 9, 2008 9:02 PM

Making Superman darker and more introspective is exactly where Singer's film failed. Just like with Batman, the heart of what makes Superman a great character is in the animated series. He's fun, he's optimistic... He is a hero in every sense. He's not bummed out about his lot in life, he's not sad and forlorn while he flies around, and he's certainly not breaking up marriages. I sat through that whole film and didn't see Superman anywhere in it.

Posted by: Mitch Clem at December 10, 2008 12:24 AM

The Grudge 2 isn't actually awful (I didn't seek it out; I stumbled across it on TV one night and figured it might be worth a watch), though it's not exactly good either - it's more a random series of half-plots that tie up into one big mess of "BOO!" and "You know what's inherently scary? Japanese people". But yeah, I get not wanting to get your hopes up - there's only so many times you can take crushing disappointment in a short space of time, and with buzz still refusing to die for Arrested Development and Veronica Mars movies, plus my undying hope for Serenity 2, this one might just be too much...

Posted by: Shay at December 10, 2008 7:35 AM

The Herald Sun once had an article on page two headlined "Triplets turn 21!"

They weren't famous triplets. No. The Herald Sun had just run a picture of them when they were born and apparantely that was enough to make them newsworthy. To call the Herald Sun a rag would be a disservice to the British tabloids - I'm fairly sure this "rumour" was invented by a staffer who saw Twilight and was all "Vampires? Successful Vampires? Where can I go with this?

....


.........


....BUFFY RUMOUR! I IS A GENIUS!"

Posted by: Anna at December 10, 2008 6:14 PM