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What Do Brett Favre and Twilight's Victoria Have in Common?

They're Not Returning for Another Year / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | July 29, 2009 | Comments (25)

All right, let’s get it going this morning, folks. What’s going on in the world? Brett Favre screwed the Vikings. Glen Beck called Obama a racist. The housing market has finally bottomed. There’s another new iPhone (but you have to be really loyal to see it). And a once respectable, well-thought of, hauntingly attractive, grown-up film star has joined the cast of Twilight.

I think I’m going to fellate a chainsaw.

Bryce Dallas Howard, who has a tendency to be the best part of bad movies (Terminator Salvation, Lady in the Water) looks to repeat that trend. She’s replacing Rachelle Lefevre, who played one of the villains, Victoria, in the first two films (New Moon is due on in November). Howard will take over in Eclipse, which at least looks as though it’ll have a darker turn: David Slade (30 Days of Night, Hard Candy) is taking over as director, and honestly, whatever you think of crappy, sparkly vampires, Mrs. Howard actually would make a stellar vampire. She’s pretty, but she also gives me the willies, a lot like Samantha Morton.

The official reason for Lefevre’s departure is “scheduling conflict,” which is studio doublespeak for: We got Ron Howard’s kid, so shove the fuck off.

Still, I have no interest in seeing Eclipse, but since I have to, I’m at least not dreading it as much as I was previously. Plus, I bet she looks really good covered in glitter.


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Comments

She was also the best part of both The Village and Spider-Man 3. She's got a smile that gives me a happy in my jimmy.

Posted by: Snath at July 29, 2009 9:16 AM

Wow I find this so bizarre, I would never have thought she'd be in one of these films. I do really like her and since I'll watch the films anyway (yeah yeah) I'm sure she can only improve Eclipse.

Can't they replace the girl playing Rosalie (I had to look that name up, god my memory is terrible)? The girl can't act and is no where near as attractive as Rosalie is supposed to be.

I'll go hang up my creepy Twilight persona now.

Posted by: Carrie at July 29, 2009 9:22 AM

I can't drum up a whisper of interest in anything Twilight, but this:

I think I’m going to fellate a chainsaw.

sounds like the worst idea since that lady who got whatever power tool it was stuck in her private parts. Please, I must to warn you off this foolish idea.

Posted by: Cindy at July 29, 2009 9:23 AM

*removes horse dong from mouth*

Could this be the Twilight of a once burgeoning film career?

*inserts said dong into anal canal*

Posted by: Michael Ausiello at July 29, 2009 9:31 AM

@Snath
She was also the best part of both The Village and Spider-Man 3.

I'll give you Spider-Man 3... But any movie that has Brendan Gleeson or William Hurt typically gets that nod (ie. The Village).

Posted by: Colin at July 29, 2009 9:33 AM

the boyfriend and i took his daughter to see twilight, but not even an army of BDHs can get me to go see any of the sequels.
i'd rather spend my money seeing a re-releasing of the lady in the water, which wasn't as bad as all the haters would have you believe.
the village can suck it though. my fondest memory of that movie was the person who left the theater to use the restroom right as the blind girl found the wall. when she came back a moment later, she thought she had entered the wrong movie and walked back out to double-check the theater number. i'm pretty sure she was more disappointed than anyone else who watched as the twist became evident.

Posted by: gp at July 29, 2009 9:35 AM

Collin, I guess I was being mostly shallow and thinking about the pretty. While Brendan Gleeson and William Hurt are phenomenal actors, I don't find myself wanting to do naughty things to them.

Speaking of Brendan Gleeson, just saw In Bruges last night for the first time, actually. Absolutely fantastic.

Posted by: Snath at July 29, 2009 10:11 AM

So ... this woman is the biggest douchebag in her profession?

OK, now to read the post ... mmm-hmmm ... mmmm-HMMM ... uh-huh .... "fellate a chainsaw" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... humph.

OK, glad to see it's something else. Favre is STILL the biggest douchebag in ANYone's profession. And an asshole besides.

Life just isn't fair. If it were, Favre would be found dead under a truck and Spaceman Lee would be making a comeback.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 29, 2009 10:16 AM

... or was that Fidrych, I forget *old age*.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 29, 2009 10:17 AM

I wonder with all the tweens being exposed to the beautiful Bryce because of this movie, if rentals of Manderlay will suddenly shoot up because of "that" scene.

Posted by: Sybil at July 29, 2009 10:24 AM

The carpets match the drapes, is all I'm saying, Sybil.

Posted by: Snath at July 29, 2009 10:30 AM

Snath - that is more than understandable, and I would do naughty things to Howard.

And In Bruges was in the top 3 movies that I saw last year, so I agree.

Posted by: Colin at July 29, 2009 10:46 AM

God I'm so happy we're only going to have 3 or 4 more days of Favre coverage, maybe he'll just fade away now (Never EVER going to happen)

God I hate ESPN. It's the shittiest monopoly on the face of the earth.

Posted by: Braski at July 29, 2009 10:49 AM

Bill "The Spaceman" Lee is still very much alive.

Posted by: oskar667 at July 29, 2009 11:12 AM

Mark "The Birdman" Fidrych is, regrettably, dead.

And Favre is a big fucking baby. Look at me! No, don't go away media, with your cameras and love I can't get from my hateful family! I'll be throwing and keeping loose over here while the season starts if, you know, you guys are interested! Please don't go! My wife won't stay married to me if John Clayton doesn't call every day!!!

He ruined the Vikings season. Mark my words: They won't win more than 6 games this year. Childress will be fired. AP will get hurt. Just watch.

Posted by: Kballs at July 29, 2009 11:18 AM

As a Minnesotan, I'm glad I don't give two shits about football, or I'd be really pissed off at Favre.

Posted by: Snath at July 29, 2009 11:31 AM

I thought she was the best part of The Village by a mile, but not Spider-Man 3. That was Thomas Haden Church.

Posted by: Todd at July 29, 2009 11:58 AM

As a WI transplant from MN, Good Godopus am I glad this is over. Maybe now my local news can find some other stories to report.
Favre-gate got top billing last night over a family of four that died in a car crash, thereby completely screwing the old adage of "if it bleeds it leads." Apparantly, if it whines it leads.

Posted by: hersheygirl at July 29, 2009 12:13 PM

I don't think Howard can exactly be called the best part of Terminator Salvation given that she was on-screen for about 30 seconds in the movie, and spent most of that moping around all watery-eyed and pregnant. What's that, you say, previous continuity? Kate Connor is supposed to be an ass-kicking lieutenant and John's second-in-command? Why bother with that when we can knock her up and shunt her into the background? Feh.

As for Spider-man 3, there was no best part to that movie. I know the traditional joke is "The best part was the end credits", but seriously. Dancing Tobey. Kristen Dunst singing. Magic amnesia. Retcons. Wasted Venom. There was just nothing salvagable from that mess o' crap.

Posted by: Shay at July 29, 2009 12:35 PM

I would pay good money to see that iphone get sold. I bet you ANYTHING that people (specially people here, who are just now getting into the madness of Blackberries--hi 2002!) would go pay, and they'd go insane for it, and then...well then they'd look like idiots but they'd also sue. You'd have to give back the money but DUDE what an awesome prank.

Baaaah. I agree that Bryce Howard would make a great vampire, but couldn't she have picked something GOOD to be a vampire in? Like True Blood? She'd be perfect for that! She could play a snootypants southern belle vampire and it'd kick all kinds of ass. I love that show.

Posted by: figgy at July 29, 2009 1:09 PM

Being the best part of The Village is nothing to be proud of.

I have such a pro-ginger bias, but I just don't find her Howard all that pretty. I mean, Ron is her father - not the best-dealt hand in the looks department.

Have I lost my Pajiba credentials for this sentiment?

Posted by: samantha t at July 29, 2009 1:15 PM

carrie
nikki reed (rosalie), co-wrote 'thirteen' with director catherine hardwicke, who put her in the film.
and then in her next film, 'lords of dogtown'
and then in twilight
no doubt there would be a different (and actually blonde) actress in the part had their been a different director.

Posted by: samma at July 29, 2009 2:06 PM

Eh, Victoria dies in Eclipse anyway... (IIRC Edward pretty much rips her apart)

Posted by: Linda at July 29, 2009 3:08 PM

I confess, after years of teasing grown men for reading "harry potter" I have succumbed to devouring the "Twilight" book series. But everytime I see anything to do with the movie I get pissed because not a single fucking character (that I've seen) has been cast well. Maybe this will turn the tides- let's see if they get rid of that terrible Kristin Stewart and her pre-seizure eyes (seriously if she rolls her eyes up any farther she'll be able to see her own brain) and perma-scowl. You don't need to sneer ALL the time dearie, you're rich. SMILE.

Posted by: snarla at July 29, 2009 3:51 PM

Bryce Howard is near the top of my "I wish I looked like her *sigh*" list.

Posted by: Mimi at July 29, 2009 6:06 PM





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