Bryan Singer Remaking Excalibur?

Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman Muff Fluffing? Too Good to Be True? Maybe.

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (36)

Welcome folks, to another edition of the fastest growing quiz sensation on the World Wide Web: Two Truths and a Lie, the game the exposes Hollywood for what it is: A big fat memory raping fraud! Today’s edition of Two Truths and a Lie is brought to you by Pro Line. I don’t even know what that is, but they have a great commercial. Here’s a word from our sponsor:

The final poll results are in from our last game of Two Truths and a Lie, and you can all pat yourselves on the back: 45 percent of you corrected identified that the Father of the Bride sequel was made up. Of course, that also means that the truth is: Both Outlander and a Dirty Dancing remakes are in development. Here is some more information on the Outlander remake.

Shall we move on, then? As usual, in today’s edition, I will describe three projects. You are to pick the one I made up. And while you are certainly allowed to spend five seconds looking it up on the Internet, really, where’s the fun in that? No one is being individually graded, and besides, the world hate a know-it-all. Except for Doctor Who. Everyone loves him. And here we go:

A) After finding success in voice work on Pixar’s Cars, Tom and Ray Magliozzi, better known as Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers (hosts of NPR’s “Car Talk”), are developing — along with Dreamworks Studios — a CGI-animated movie based on their PBS animated series, “Click and Clack’s As the Wrench Turns.” Details are sparse, but Robert Towne (Mission Impossible, The Firm) has hired to pen the script.

B) Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have signed on to Darren Aronovsky’s The Black Swan, a movie that calls for the women to play ballerinas and have “ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex” with one another.

C) Just days after announcing that he was developing a Battlestar Galactica movie, Bryan Singer has also revealed that he and Warner Brothers are remaking the 1981 movie, Excalibur. It’s expected to be an epic fantasy film.

poll by twiigs.com

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Comments

B is so fucking true, I will kill anyone who says otherwise. Go ahead, just try it.

Posted by: Vermillion at August 21, 2009 11:07 AM

I love me some Click and Clack, too, but A) is the false entry.

Posted by: Tranjo at August 21, 2009 11:10 AM

The lie is A, but I wish it were C. The A option actually sounds kinda cool.

Posted by: Jerce at August 21, 2009 11:11 AM

What Jerce said. I WISH C were the lie. Assholes.

But no, it's A.

Posted by: Nat at August 21, 2009 11:18 AM

I'm going for A.

Posted by: Cindy at August 21, 2009 11:18 AM

If B wasn't true at the time Rowles made it up, it damn well had better be true by now.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at August 21, 2009 11:31 AM

Wait, there's going to be an epic fantasy Excaliber with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis trading muffwiches? Because that's what I read-

You wouldn't even have to make that movie. Just advertise, and make a trailer and you'd gross 100 million on advance sales. Hell, make a poster and you could clear 150 mill.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at August 21, 2009 11:35 AM

Please let B be true...
Please let B be true...
Please let B be true...

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at August 21, 2009 11:43 AM

Skitz, you slay me.

Posted by: Xtreme at August 21, 2009 11:53 AM

I had to research B. I had to know. I had to.

Epic Bunkage.

Posted by: TSF at August 21, 2009 12:12 PM

I want all of these to be true.

Let A be the lie. I want A to be the lie. But I'm going to vote for B, because it seems like the sort of "Punishable by slow decapitation, not funny in the least" sort of twisted joke that would get played on a Friday afternoon.

Please be A...

Posted by: alphawhiskey at August 21, 2009 12:23 PM

If you had grown up listening to Click and Clack, you might hate them too. I'm going with them as the lie because I might shoot someone if it is true.

Posted by: Lee at August 21, 2009 12:25 PM

I'm so torn on Kunis and Portman. And she's older than me so that's okay. The problem is that, well, I've just never been attracted to Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman is the love of my life. I don't want to be distracted or see her slumming, if I can say so without being too offensive. I can't vote because I don't know what I want to be true!

Posted by: coryo at August 21, 2009 1:04 PM

My Excalibur would like to see MiKunis and NatPo play Click and Clack.

Posted by: laredo at August 21, 2009 2:49 PM

I'll help Vermillion kill whoever says B isn't true.

Posted by: Dave at August 21, 2009 3:24 PM

Go ahead, keep those scales on your eyes.

Posted by: Jay at August 21, 2009 3:34 PM

Ugh. I thought I had beat the drunken urge to post for the sake of drunken posting.
Apparently, I am too drunk to be so discerning in my behavior.
And I was doing well for....... a day or two.

(The Tappet Bros do freakin' rule, though... I time my Saturday morning excursions to coincide with their show.)

Posted by: Rykker at August 21, 2009 8:16 PM

Dustin, If B is the lie I will be sad. In my pants. You won't like me when I'm sad.

(Thank you for the header picture though. My Scarlett Johansson girl crush is renewed with that bit of fantasy fodder.)

Posted by: Eyvi at August 21, 2009 9:51 PM

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Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman Muff Fluffing? Too Good to Be True? Maybe.

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