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The Chin Sequelizes the Wrong Damn Movie

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (13)



bruce-campbelldad.jpg

Everybody loves Bruce Campbell. It’s true — fanboys, geeks, your average moviegoer, anyone who watches “Burn Notice,” and even your mother. Seriously: Ask her. She will tell you the God’s honest: She’d pull up her sun dress for The Chin any day. And we not only forgive The Chin for his occasional transgression, we applaud him! He’s a B-movie star — it’s what we want.

But this? No. We don’t really want this. Bruce Campbell tells AICN that it’s official. He’s making a sequel. Not to Evil Dead. Not even to Bubba Ho-Tep. Sadly, the sequel is to My Name is Bruce, which was a huge cult film, in Campbell’s head.

Indeed, the original Bruce put up only $173,000 in theaters, and while it probably brought in a modest amount of DVD coin, it really was the kind of movie that we all wanted to support — because we love Campbell — but we didn’t actually want to watch. I had every intention myself, until I read Prisco’s review: “Instead of the knockout mozzarella-fest I was expecting, it’s a pathetically weak rehash of Three Amigos with less meat in it than soup kitchen meatloaf … Campbell’s trying to delve for yucks with a combination of fourth-grade booger humor and F-Grade decapitations.”

I know, I know. It hurt my heart to read, too.

No matter: Bruce is bringing it back, starring once again as himself, but this time instead of facing off against a David Lo Pan action figure, Campbell will be fighting Frankenstein in Bruce vs. Frankenstein. He sent a statement to AICN saying as much:.

Hello everyone. Bruce Campbell here. This urgent message is short, because my keystrokes are monitored and I fear for my life. My partner at Dark Horse comics, Mike Richardson (normally a very rational and talented man), threatened to have his foot soldiers “crush my spleen” if I did what I am about to do. But the fans deserve to know, so with great trepidation I officially announce Bruce Vs. Frankenstein, the sequel to My Name is Bruce. Principal photography begins this fall in Oregon. I’d like to live long enough to see the cameras roll, so please, for the love of God, do not tell anyone - I can’t risk this announcement getting back to Mike! Thank you.

I’m assuming the thing about not telling anyone was bluster, and Harry Knowles is not some giant dick who’d burn Campbell for an exclusive. He’s a sycophantic tub of lard, but he’s not a monster. Right?

Anyway, that’s happening. At least Bruce is getting some work, particularly after the cancellation of Spider-Man 4, which was supposed to feature a meatier Campbell role.









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Comments

Hey, maybe he'll have learned from what went wrong in the first one.

I know...I know...screw me and my eternal optimism.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at January 19, 2010 10:02 AM

If it's as bad as My Name is Bruce so Watch This Shitty Movie, I'm going to remove that chin and use it for a jock strap.

Posted by: admin at January 19, 2010 10:11 AM

i'd pay Good Money to see that, doran.

Posted by: gp at January 19, 2010 10:18 AM

If it hurt you to read it, imagine how much it hurt to write. Why does this site make me beat up on my heroes?

Of course he'll make a sequel. It cost him like ten bucks to shoot the first one. He made a net profit of twenty. So now they can have sparklers for special effects.

The funny part is: Coscarelli IS doing the sequel to Bubba Ho-Tep. Something something Nosferatu Vampire Babes. They've only signed two people: Ron Perlman as Elvis, and Paul Giamatti as Colonel Tom Parker. And while it will lack the charm of Campbell and Ossie Davis, this could be an extremely fun film.

Posted by: Prisco at January 19, 2010 10:20 AM

prisco, my IMDb-Fu tells me that it's called Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires

if that makes any difference to anybody

Posted by: tris at January 19, 2010 10:26 AM

Meh. Sad.

Posted by: Xtreme at January 19, 2010 10:37 AM

The mental image of a gaggle of old ladies pulling up their sundresses for the Chin really makes my morning.

Posted by: Mattfactor at January 19, 2010 10:38 AM

The wrong son died!
And also Bruce was supposed to be Mysterio, right? That would've been awesome, we all agree, yes? *Punches through wall* MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 19, 2010 11:10 AM

Wow, Bruce Campbell really needs a lot of time to figure out he is a better B movie actor than B movie director/writer/producer. Let's hope this movie will show him... Or who knows, maybe he'll finally make an enjoyable movie! I've seen less probable things happen.

Posted by: Sunsneezer at January 19, 2010 11:43 AM

Why couldn't we have "Brisco County Jr. Jr." or something? Then we could see him every week!

Posted by: sundress-wearin-granny at January 19, 2010 11:50 AM

Damn it! Now I have the "Guan-Di" song from "My Name Is Bruce" stuck in my head again.

Posted by: Average Jane at January 19, 2010 3:56 PM

Ever feel that you would easily see yourself fitting into his / her life despite the age difference? http://AgelessOnly.com is a good place.

Posted by: Rose at January 21, 2010 1:42 AM

I wish I would have read your post. But unfortunately the code is messed up on my end. Is it just me? I can barely see the box for leaving comments. You may want to give it a check...

Posted by: instantempo at October 26, 2010 8:10 AM


















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