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Vote for None of the Above!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (17)



4-brewsters-millions.jpg

Before I really understood the concept, Brewster’s Millions became one of my very first secret shames. IN 1987-1988, TBS owned my life. I spent a quarter of my day watching the last place Atlanta Braves on the Super Station and, inevitably, another airing of Brewster’s Millions, which frequently came on right after the game. It was never a great movie, but the premise was so compelling that it didn’t have to be. It’s one of those awesome concepts — like the ability to clap your hands to stop time — that just rings around and around in your head.

For the unfamiliar, Brewster’s Millions starred Richard Pryor as a washed-up minor-league baseball player whose uncle leaves him $300 million. The catch? He first has to spend $30 million in 30 days, and at the end of that month, have nothing left but what he came in with: The jersey on his back. How the hell do you spend $30 million without acquiring assets? Well, you buy a million dollar collector’s stamp and use it to send a letter, for one! Or run for mayor and ask everyone to vote for “None of the Above.”

Man alive: I must have daydreamed a million different scenarios for what I’d have done in that situation.

Anyway, they’re remaking the movie, because of course they are. Michael Diliberti and Matthew Sullivan are writing the script.

But I’m not really bothered by it. It wasn’t a great movie as much it was a great, simple concept. Richard Pryor and John Candy were gold, but it’s not like Brewsters is some sacred cow that doesn’t deserve to be slaughtered. It’s a silly, throw-away comedy, and it’d probably be just as appealing with whatever dillweed they cast as Brewster. It’s all about the concept. They could put Zac Efron in it, and it probably wouldn’t lose much. All it needs is someone harmlessly likable. The premise will take care of the rest. It’s already been worked plenty of times (they’re all based on George Barr McCutcheon’s 1902 novel), and I’d see no problem with them remaking it every 20 years to provide more daydream fodder for 10-year-olds. It’s not a remake, anyway, so much as it’s just another adaptation. It’ll probably be bad, but it probably won’t prevent an entire new generation for loving it.

That said, two words: Chris Rock.









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Comments

Eh. Remakes are so commonplace these days, I don't even have the energy to cry "Raping my childhood!" anymore. At this point, it's more "What isn't being remade?"

Posted by: Brie at August 17, 2009 6:12 PM

It's easy to say "it's concept-driven and would suffice with anyone to fill the character's shoes" in theory, but the REALITY is that they are taking a massive dump on two great deceased comedians. To ignore that might not sit well w/fans of Pryor and Candy may be to burn some goodwill that you can't find on fucking credit.

It was done right the first time; no need to revisit unless buying a copy of the original.

What is so hard to understand about this?

Posted by: Recondite at August 17, 2009 6:14 PM

Also, what did the minions at the Ministry of Truth do with the Pulp Fiction review?

Don't tell me a review w/insightful discussion following it was the only review on this site to be slipped down the memory hole. That would be just disappointing and counter to your mission statement.

Posted by: Recondite at August 17, 2009 6:18 PM

It will star Marlon Wayans, feature a car related cameo by Xzibit and a weed related cameo by Snoop. It will make just enough to justify two straight-to-DVD sequels.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 17, 2009 6:20 PM

Jesus Christ, Dustin- please don't put Zac Efron into these people's minds, for any reason! Bad boy!

Posted by: logar at August 17, 2009 6:31 PM

It was done right the first time; no need to revisit unless buying a copy of the original.

Except the "original" was a remake. Like the 11th or 12th one. It is a really interesting concept, one pretty much designed for updating every couple of decades.

Thing is, the concept is also really dependent on the personalties involved. Pryor and Candy played theirs beautifully, especially since Candy's character was a fairly original creation.

I really can't think of anyone who can pull it off like they did. Rock may be able to do it, but it will be fairly alone, because I can't think of anyone who could be his John Candy.

Posted by: Vermillion at August 17, 2009 6:34 PM

Christ Rock, really Rowles, Christ freaking Rock? Pryor was a phenomenon, a comic genius, maybe the best to ever do stand up. Rock is nothing more than the nice safe negro of the month telling jokes.

Posted by: Guess Who! at August 17, 2009 6:40 PM

plus... $30 million THEN isn't the same as $30 million today... he could just take La Lohan and Parasite Hilton out for a couple weekend benders and they could prob hoover a bunch of those millions right up their noses for him...

Posted by: Tammers at August 17, 2009 6:51 PM

Guess Who, have you heard Bigger and Blacker and Bring the Pain? I actually think Rock at his best was one of the more insightful comedians of the late 90s.

And I'm with Vermillion. In fact, in general I don't get the obsession with never remaking anything past a halfway decent performance. Most scripts (if they aren't already adapted from books) are re-written and warmed over countless times before we even get a whiff of them. Why is one step of that process sacred and not the rest? It's like getting angry about a re-make of a pop tune that the "original" artist didn't even write.

In fact I particularly dislike the idea that a bad re-make somehow desecrates the original. Who goes and sees a poor re-make and says "Geeze, I never realized how much I disliked the original until I saw this far inferior re-make."

Posted by: Eep at August 17, 2009 6:54 PM

So for the remake, we add three zeros and he bails out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Wait....haven't they made this already?

Posted by: admin at August 17, 2009 7:29 PM

Speaking of that jersey, my neighbor used to do costumes for Richard Pryor. I wore Brewster's Cubs jersey to school when I was in the 8th grade. And for a Halloween party once, we wore the football uniforms from North Dallas Forty. I wish I had the wherewithall to keep one as both movies were near and dear to me. I'm surprised no one wants to do a remake of North Dallas Forty, but if they did, it would probably have Mark Wahlberg and Jamie Foxx in it and would suck balls.

I haven't really watched any of the remakes that have been done in the last few years. I wish the regular viewing public (outside of you wonderful Pajibans) did the same.

Posted by: Rubble44 at August 17, 2009 8:43 PM

Eep please, go do some research. Richard Pryor: Live in Concert 1979 or Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip 1982 go check those out my friend. Rock couldn’t even be Pryor’s warm up act. Bigger and Blacker, riiiiiiiight.

Posted by: Guess Who! at August 17, 2009 9:05 PM

How in the ever-lovin' motherfuckin' flyin' blue fuck can you remake a Richard Pryor film?

You motherfuckin' can't!
The dude was Singular.

Posted by: Rykker at August 17, 2009 10:13 PM

How in the ever-lovin' motherfuckin' flyin' blue fuck can you remake a Richard Pryor film?

Excuse me, but this is 1980s Pryor, when he started making non-controversial mass-market comedies. Many of them were quite good, to be sure, but a bunch of them were, you know, Superman III and the like.

Pryor was great. Not everything he made was great. These are not mutually exclusive propositions. Brewster's Millions is a fun film, but it's not, like, fucking cinematic perfection or anything.

Posted by: mightygodking at August 18, 2009 1:56 AM

"Excuse me, but this is 1980s Pryor, when he started making non-controversial mass-market comedies."

Then Eddie Murphy in the 1990s.

Posted by: spazmodeas at August 18, 2009 2:59 AM

You all can act all nonchalant if you want, but I find this news annoying.

Posted by: tamatha at August 18, 2009 1:23 PM

Chris Rock?

Chris Fucking No-talent Rock couldn't carry dead Richard Pryor's rotting jockstrap!!!

Posted by: bluesilver at August 18, 2009 4:44 PM


















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