September 19, 2008 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 19, 2008 |

421590486.jpgAt some point, weeks or months ago (when it comes to remakes, the days just blur together now), we mentioned that Lionsgate was kicking the Conan the Barbarian franchise back into gear, because the story of a boy who grows into a man and seeks revenge against those who killed his parents hasn’t been told enough. And really, with today’s current economic climate, what we need now is more sorcery!

Anyway, the point is — though it’s still in the rumor phase — it looks like Bret Ratner may very well end up directing the $100 million movie, though I suspect if he were hired, he’d bring in a helper monkey to direct while he blew most of the budget on hookers and blow. Nobody could tell the difference.

But you know what: You gotta respect a director who has learned from his mistakes. Brett Ratner will not come into a perfectly acceptable franchise and ruin it after the second movie, as he did with X-Men: The Last Stand. Ratner wants to ruin things from the beginning. And, in a way, it’s better for all of us, lest we get invested in the new Conan (I’m hoping for Emo Conan! Get Tobey Maguire. Fingers crossed!), only to have him tainted by that vile Ratnerese three movies in. Now, we know from the beginning not to watch.

Seriously, though: You get The Rock to play Conan, I don’t give a shit who directs. I’m there.

Brett Ratner to Continue Sucking In New and Inventive Ways
Live at 11 / Dustin Rowles

Industry | September 19, 2008 | Comments ()

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