web
counter
 

Sexy%20Zombie.jpg
Zombies in Love — What’s a Zombie Offspring Look Like?

Yo Yo Yiggady Yo / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | February 25, 2009 | Comments (21)


Are you folks tired of zombie movies yet? Of course you’re not. Zombie movies will never get old. And there’s so many iterations yet to be played with. How about a zombie rom-com, for instance? Something like a cross between Eating Miss Daisy, Eternal Sunshine of the Devoured Mind and Sex and the City 3: Fucking Zombies?

No? Well, how’s this: Diablo Cody (oh, do shut up, haters) is producing a zombie romantic comedy based on the as-yet-unreleased S.G. Browne book, Breathers. The plot description, from Browne’s website (where you can also read the first chapter), is as follows:

Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty-one-year-old car crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will take him from his casket, to the SPCA, to a media-driven class-action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere. Breathers is a contemporary dark comedy about life, or undeath, through the eyes of an ordinary zombie. It’s a classic story of suffering and redemption, like The Color Purple or the New Testament. Only with cannibalism.

Nothing wrong with that, folks. And, if you want to give it some real rom-com authenticity, cast Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson — a little self-referential irony and brain-eating would do wonders for their careers.

And while we’re on the subject, here’s a nasty-ass earworm; it’s infected me, inexplicably, so now I pass my infection on to you. It’s the Pajiba way!

(H/T Film School Rejects)









Descent 2 Trailer | Andy Richter, Tonight Show Announcer













Comments

"When the group meets a rogue zombie...."

Because zombies are usually so conformist to regular society.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 25, 2009 10:34 AM

I go to a zombie march every year. There is no getting tired of zombies.

Posted by: Captain Steve at February 25, 2009 10:36 AM

Well, I'll bite.

Posted by: dammitjanet at February 25, 2009 10:37 AM

This is about as original a premise as "cubicle monkey has secret exciting life". Bleh.

I guess anything can be zombified these days.

When will we get "Really Freaky Friday"? (Teenage girl swaps bodies with her undead mother.) Or for the pseudo-documentary crowd, "Zombify Me!", about the health hazards of being a zombie for 30 days straight?

Take any movie cliche, add zombie to it, and you get Awesome? I think not.

Posted by: Wednesday at February 25, 2009 10:47 AM

Holy shit, a Diablo Cody produced zom-rom-com makes me happy in my everything. Although scratch Matthew and Kate. I think Lee Pace and Felicia Day would turn this from "Awesome!" to "Rioting in the streets out of sheer ecstasy".

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at February 25, 2009 10:54 AM

I have no interest in zombie movies where zombies are anything other than mindless undead who are seeking to feed off the flesh of the living. I am pretty flexibile on the fast vs. slow zombie thing, but zombies do not fall in love, zombies do not teach you lessons about anything (other than survival), zombies do have emotions, zombies do not talk (other than the word "Braaaaains", I will give them that and moaning, that's it), zombies have no rights, zombies do not strip.

I am, in large part, a traditionalist when it comes to these things.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at February 25, 2009 10:58 AM

Fuckin' A Forbiddendonut. Somebody had better eat a bitch.

Posted by: admin at February 25, 2009 11:03 AM

I'd be happy if it was Matthew and Kate if they got eaten. Can they get eaten?

Posted by: Captain Steve at February 25, 2009 11:15 AM

That's what she said!

Posted by: Lainey at February 25, 2009 11:16 AM

Lainey, I love you. admin, you heard the woman!

Posted by: jM at February 25, 2009 11:23 AM

You know, there really should have been a comma after that A. Sorry IIG apparently I am inadvertentley busy at the moment.

Posted by: admin at February 25, 2009 11:27 AM

And JM, keep your hands off my imaginary kool-aid!

Posted by: admin at February 25, 2009 11:28 AM

It's just too bad zombies don't eat each other.

Posted by: Captain Steve at February 25, 2009 11:32 AM

You Romero traditionalists make me sick. You just can't allow zombies to be who they want to be if it conflicts with your cloistered world views, can you? Why not be open to hope and chaaaaaaaange? Free your minds...mmmmmmmmmmm, your sweet, delicious minds.

Zombama/Cody in 2012!

Posted by: branded at February 25, 2009 11:32 AM

I can't get behind the Diablo Cody backlash until she has written some more movies. I mean, we're basing her work solely on Juno, right?
(However I could get behind Diablo herself, Hi-yo!)
(Had to, right? If I didn't, someone else would)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 25, 2009 11:45 AM

I don't think you're the first to farm that particular territory, know what I'm sayin'?

Posted by: Captain Steve at February 25, 2009 12:32 PM

FUCKING ZOMBIES!!!!!

That is all.

Posted by: Vermillion at February 25, 2009 12:39 PM

This sounds awesome.

An ode to zombies:

Dead roses aren't red,
dead violets aren't blue,
oh zombie movies
how I love you.
Brains.

Posted by: figgy at February 25, 2009 1:47 PM

I guess the upside of undead sex is the fact that you don't need birth control.

...

No, don't worry I'll let myself out.

Posted by: Kayanne at February 25, 2009 2:09 PM

i, for one, am very tired of zombies. at this point, totally played out, derivative, and uncreative.

Posted by: dan at February 25, 2009 8:00 PM

They'll come for you first, Dan. Just warning ya.

Posted by: figgy at February 25, 2009 9:59 PM


















Viral Hits

>> Pajiba Movie Posters

>> Pop Culture's 20 Greatest Dancing GIFs

>> Mindhole Blowers

>> The 100 Greatest Insults of All Time

>> The "Other" 100 Greatest Movie Quotes

>> The 100 Greatest Movie Threats of All Time

>> The Sean Bean Death Reel

>> Chicks Dig Beards: It's Science

>> The Coolest TV Show Title Sequences

>> The Most Rewatchable Movies

>> The Most Expensive Movies of All Time