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BREAKING: Found Footage of Apollo 18

By Willis Reynolds | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (15)

apollo-18.gif

A quick history lesson: NASA sent Apollo 11 through 17 to the moon. Apollo 18 was planned, but never launched. Certain people (crazy people) believe that Apollo 18 did actually go to the moon, but was covered up, probably for the same reasons that the whole program was faked, and I am not nearly drunk enough to follow the logic of those two truths co-existing.

But now, nearly 40 years later, evidence! Deadline is reporting that the Weinsteins have bought the rights to the Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted) produced ‘found footage’ film Apollo 18. As you probably had trouble guessing (because let’s face it, Moon landing conspiracy theorists are not the most imaginative assholes on the planet), the movie is about the astronauts of Apollo 18 encountering alien life. Wacky hijinks ensue. Unfortunately, Bekmambetov is only producing, as it is being written and directed by a couple of visual effects guys. I assume this happens from time to time, and always goes swimmingly.

In related news, how stupid are people that believe the Moon landings were shot on a sound stage? The correct answer is “Fuck you for this topic of conversation even existing, asshole.”









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Comments

What a coinky-dink! I've been rediscovering The Sundays' "Monochrome", which is the most ass-kicking song ever about watching the moon landing.

Anyway, back to my virgin life.

Posted by: sars at November 10, 2010 9:49 AM

I've heard that some people deny the moon landings because the landing struts on the lunar module didn't have any dust on them. The landing struts are still on the moon, morons.

Posted by: Todd at November 10, 2010 9:52 AM

Another point these people make is the footage of the flag fluttering as if wind currents (which do not exist on the moon) were moving it, thus proving that it was shot in the Arizona desert or something. Yeah, so the flag definitely isn't shaking as a result of being slammed into the ground and not encountering air resistance of any kind since there's no atmospheric friction to stop any residual shakes remaining from said slamming. Good point, dickbrains.

Posted by: Kballs at November 10, 2010 10:03 AM

Didn't "Capricorn One" already cover this 33 years ago?

Posted by: , at November 10, 2010 10:09 AM

There is only one Apollo 18 and They Might Be Giants produced it in 1992. All others are frauds.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at November 10, 2010 10:32 AM

I resisted moon landing conspiracy theories for years but the Apollo 18 theory would totally explain Two and a Half Men, Michael Kors/John Boehner and the mysterious downsizing of Hagen Daaz "pints".

It's not that I dislike conspiracy theories, I just want the one that explains ALL the weirdness going on and this seems to fit the bill.

Posted by: clocker at November 10, 2010 10:36 AM

Whaaarrrbbgglll!!! BUT THE PHOTOS OF THE MOON LANDING SHOW MORE THAN ONE LIGHT SOURCE!!!

Posted by: aroorda at November 10, 2010 10:43 AM

There is only one Apollo 18 and They Might Be Giants produced it in 1992. All others are frauds.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at November 10, 2010 10:32 AM

I agree completely.

Posted by: Schpida (he is our hero) at November 10, 2010 11:29 AM

That's interesting, seeing how the Saturn V that would have launched the Apollo 18 capsule is now on concrete columns in a big glass building in Alabama.

Posted by: ZombieNurse at November 10, 2010 11:36 AM

That's interesting, seeing how the Saturn V that would have launched the Apollo 18 capsule is now on concrete columns in a big glass building in Alabama.
No, that's a still.

Posted by: clocker at November 10, 2010 11:42 AM

Can't it be both?

Posted by: ZombieNurse at November 10, 2010 11:50 AM

Not if NASA designed it.

Posted by: clocker at November 10, 2010 2:09 PM

What was the name of that movie from the 80's where the astronauts are supposed to go to mars and they take them to a sound stage...? Damn, it's gonne drive me nuts all day...

Posted by: Sarah Barkai at November 11, 2010 4:36 AM

RIGHT! Capricorn One!!! Thank you.. um... ",".

Posted by: Sarah Barkai at November 11, 2010 4:41 AM

Pssshhhhh, those theories are for pussies. Ready to have your mind blown!!

The French totally made the first trip to the moon in 1902! They encountered aliens too!! Probably the same one that replaced the Apollo 18 Astronauts with reptilian replicants who planned the Kennedy..er..uh..9/11, Bush WMD..igniting swamp gas...Pluto's not a planet...conspiracy!!

Check it out, it's all in Le Voyage dans la lune!

Posted by: Chip at November 11, 2010 3:39 PM