Pajiba

Hmmm, how to get around this?

She's not ugly. She has a fantastic body. Her face leaves something to be desired, and if her hair weren't the color it is, she would look worse.

I wasn't aware this was an issue. Isn't "pretty" her only selling point?

I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating a dog sandwich, that's for sure.

Jennifer Aniston is one hell of an attractive lady.
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You'll never get an argument from me.

Still, I'd rather not have to see her on the cover of every tabloid in the checkout line. Jen, honey, it's been what, six, seven years now? S.T.F.U.

Waaaaay to start my day off pissed off, sir!

Good point on Aniston. Lots of women fall into this category and too many people are afraid to say they wouldn't hit it. But I'm still not going to label this train wreck of a human being "gorgeous"...

Yes, she is very pretty. She has a great body, solid features, nice hair. But she has a chin that could knock out a prizefighter, and her body does lack anything distinguishable. She's got a strong whiff of masculinity about her looks, and I just ain't all-in.

You wanna know who Jennifer Aniston is? She's Meg Ryan without the plastic surgery and a better haircut. And I was never 100% on her either.

Submitted for your consideration:

Exhibit A

cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/55/45/slide151.0.0.0x0.524x629.jpeg

I'd have gone with the pic of her in the waterfall. Damn.

I always thought she was gorgeous in Friends. I never understood why people railed on her looks so much.

I don't really care about Jennifer Aniston (yes she's attractive, move on) but will Gerard Butler ever shave? EVER? I am a bit tired of the kind of scruffy, rather stinky seeming look he has going.

Then I don't wanna be right.

Ok Rowles, I'll bite.

And let me say that I absolutely loath the idiots who feel compelled to make anonymous internet comments about the unattractiveness of female celebrities, as if they alone are the standard bearers and the mere suggestion that Maggie Gyllenhaal or Lady Gaga should be allowed in public without a bag over their head warrants a hateful typo-filled rant from their twisted, misogynistic little mind.

Still, I see no reason to abide the statement "Jennifer Aniston is one hell of an attractive lady" unchallenged.

If we are evaluating her purely as a cardboard cutout I think it's reasonable to say that I find her a little plain and uninspiring. What you value in the female form might not move the needle for someone else. Different strokes for different folks.

But the real issue that some of us have with Aniston is that when you start to factor in everything else - the pathetic public image, the constant crying to the media about all the media attention, the wishing she could be left alone when that is obviously the last thing in the world she wants, and most offensive of all the complete lack of acting ability (something that I tend to look for in an actress) well, what does that leave you to hold on to?

She makes bad movies, probably because she doesn't care about the quality of the movie as long as she can have the part. The filmmakers also don't care about the quality of the movie (or why would they put her in it?) as long as they can have her name attached and improve their chances of profitability.

Megan Fox may be 'hella attractive' too if I could get past the fact that she seems to be an empty, superficial person and her leering, tarted-up image on every "men's" magazine on the rack is about as off-putting as anything I can imagine.

Context matters. Whatever Friends boner you still carry around you need to take care of that shit and move on.

Oh, totally Aniston is pretty. And to those who may point out her strong jawline and nose, fuck you. She could be a cookie cutter image of "perfection" and y'all'd whine about how she's too perfect. Anywhoodle, she's pretty. My problem with her (other than the fact that she's every-freaking-where crying about how she's not crying) is her voice. She has a voice that's permanently on whine, without being full-on Drescher. I work in a tech support call center and several people have called with a similar voice, where they always sound like they're on the verge of crying. And it wigs me out a bit. I assume this voice is supposed to indicate a cuteness in her perpetually frazzled and flummoxed characters, but for me it just makes me wanna give her an alka-seltzer cold and flu and remind her that she's an adult. It's time to put on the big girl panties and stop pouting... And to be excited over the fact that Pitt decided to go through his Billy Goat phase with someone else.

SHAVE IT OFF, BRAD. NASTYSTACHE NOVEMEMBER IS OVER.

All anyone needs to know about this movie:

"FROM THE DIRECTOR OF HITCH"

Bleh.

What what? Aniston is where? I'm sorry, I was lost in my staring at Gerald Butler. Seriously, that picture...and you pick Jennifer as the attractive one?

Kayanne,
I guarantee you that Brad Pitt's appearance is dictated entirely by what his next role requires. Someone that attractive shouldn't do that to themselves for no reason, because I'm pretty sure he almost turned me gay with "Fight Club." I'm straight as a motherfucker, but if he'd caught me on the right night during a long dry spell after I'd had a few Maker's and Cokes with Patron chasers . . . yeah, best not to think about it.

Dustin I'm assuming you like her for her strong jawline ;-)

Context matters.

Posted by: Yossarian at December 16, 2009 11:13 AM

Right on. Ms. Aniston may have a generous helping of visual appeal, but she suffers from a severe case of context-deficiency. She isn't alone, though -- it seems to be endemic to Hollywood.

In a somewhat related topic, there seems to be this hidden level of reverse discrimination within the "who's-pretty-who's-not" discussions in Hollywood.

Most men are excellent judges of looks because we're wholly superficial and are able to take qualities like personality, talent, intelligence, past history, and general bitchiness out of any equation when it comes to determining the aesthetically pleasing.

However, whenever a general consensus is that a woman is not pretty, ugly, pug-fugly or whatever, there's always a backlash of people who leap to defend others, trying to slam it down our throats that they are in fact gorgeous.

Look, everyone should have their own taste. But you can't go around pissed off when you find that 75% of men find Maggie Gyllenhall unattractive, or when the third most popular question on ask.com is whether or not Lady GagGag is a man.

When a large part of the population is of one opinion dissenting to yours, it's not that they're wrong, it's a simple majority. Men find Megan Fox/Jessica Biel/Jessica Alba sexy-as-hell, but we wouldn't confuse them for talented actresses. Maggie on the other, is a very talented actress, yet she just isn't the bee's knees for most guys. A related example is the Fox News idea of a "European Liberal bias", which is retarded because when most of Europe is liberal, it just happens to be THE WAY THAT MOST PEOPLE THINK.

I think Jen Aniston is pretty, not gorgeous, pretty. She's still a train-wreck I wouldn't date if she took me to nothing but Yankees games, but hell yes I'd hit it on a one-nighter.

p.s. please don't post "evidence" based on magazine shoots. Otherwise I'm gonna find some unflattering, natural paparazzi shots and ruin everyone's day.

She's got a kickass body that I want more than anything, but when she says the words "Pilates" and "Yoga" and "working out" and "watching her diet" I look at the sub in my hand and find it infinitely more attractive than her toned bod.

I always thought she was gorgeous in Friends.

I do think she looked much prettier with a little more weight in her face. Since she has gotten so thin, it seems to make her chin more prominent, and her face more angular. But she looked adorable with chipmunk cheeks.

Aniston has the Cameron Diaz effect. Both were smokin hot back in the day before they exercised themselves into gristle. For both of them, getting that ripped only accentuated their already angular features (chin) and made them look masculine and hard. Still objectively attractive, but not like they used to be.

Meanwhile, King Leonidas looks like Fat Russell Crowe. For shame...

I just saw that episode and it didn't occur to me figgy! Good catch.

By the way, I don't think JA should be judged on the standards "if she was a normal person living next to me" since she isn't and would look completely different if she was.

I don't give a shit if you think she's the hottest person on the planet. That's your opinion. You have yours and I have mine. I don't think anyone is 'wrong'.

And to Frank, her nipples are permanently erect because she had surgery to make them stay that way

Posted by: rhombus at December 16, 2009 11:50 AM

Part of me just died....

Two weeks in a row with Aniston on "No Whining Wednesday"? Curses! I would very much like to whine about this particular actress (and I believe I did last week), but I will save my vitriol for tomorrow, "Jennifer Aniston is Too Thin and Bland to be Labeled Gorgeous Thursday".

Pissboy: (heh at the name) A friend of mine worked with her pre-Friends. That was her account. Haven't actually seen it written about on the webbies before, but then again, haven't been particularly looking.

And to Frank, her nipples are permanently erect because she had surgery to make them stay that way

Posted by: rhombus at December 16, 2009 11:50 AM

Conjecture? Or is this (somehow) a verified fact? Sounds like nothing more than a silly internetz rumor to me.

Posted by: PissBoy at December 16, 2009 12:43 PM

Even the concept makes me cry tears of rage.

No one I know has ever claimed she was ugly, just...bland and boring. She looks a little too generic for my tastes.

If you really want to be controversial, why don't you say that Sarah Jessica Parker is gorgeous? And mean it, bitch. This ain't a game.

Fair to say that most women under 40 working in Hollywood are expected to meet a standard of physical beauty that is possessed by a chosen few. Therefore arguments that they are physically beautiful or ugly are held against a lofty scale with a very low margin for error.

Shorter: Hollywood ugly aint ugly by any other standard so the question is a non starter in my book. Is the movie any good?

By the way, I'm glad Dustin said something about this. Call her Blandiston. Boringston. Whatever. But I'm so tired of hearing her referred to as Maniston and Horseface.

If you really want to be controversial, why don't you say that Sarah Jessica Parker is gorgeous? And mean it, bitch. This ain't a game.

Posted by: Joker at December 16, 2009 1:45 PM

I find Sarah Jessica Parker quite attractive, so I usually just lie low when the horse jokes start flying. Gorgeous is the province of Hilary Swank...or Maria Bello. Or maybe it's just that any of them have much more interesting contexts. Whatever.

Cindy - you took the words out of my mouth. Uncanny, really. Girlfriend is beige, God bless her. Beige hair, beige skin, beige eyes. It's weird. I don't want to rail on her appearance, but while she's pretty, Courtney Cox is prettier.

J-An's got a rocking body and good hair. Facially, she's just okay. But again, just okay by Hollywood standards, which is supremely hot in real people standards. I agree she needs to STFU about BPitt and move on with someone less...uh...whatever John Mayer is.

And I don't care if Brad grows a tumor the size of West Texas off of his chin, he's still number one on that list that all married couples have - the "I Would Cheat on You With This Person In Two Hot Minutes So Deal With It" list.

Che, I'm with you on Maria Bello, but you lost me at Hillary Swank. Talk about manly. Again...this whole discussion is futile as we're talking about personal tastes.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Once again, Yossarian for the win.

You're posting well. Stop it.

I'm pretty sure Becks is the grinch, and if she's busy on Pajiba, everyone will have a happy holiday.

It was lighthearted, you peanut.

More Pajiba xenophobia.

I know you Peter G. I would consider you as regular a commenter as me. I think I may have even liked you up til now.

(probably after now too, don't worry, I have no memory for unpleasant happenings.)

Hahahaha! This thread makes me laugh real hearty like.

Why not just re-title it: DEAR JENNIFER ANISTON, I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY, I DON'T CARE WHAT EVERYONE SAYS.

Muahahaha! Dustin, are you gay? Are you in the hair styling industry? Do you know people who know Jen Aniston? If you are not gay, and you have a significant other, does she resemble Jen Aniston? If you answered yes, to any one or several of these questions, I get why you are talking crazy.

Aniston. resembles. Dustin. Hoffman. No, not the Dustin in 'Tootsie,' but Dustin in real life. Tootsie had a cuter face than Aniston, after she/he was done up.

Can someone who looks like Aniston be attractive or sexy - why sure. Sexiness is inherent -- but even if you're not posessed of that certain je ne se quois, showing your nips and asss throughout the 90s will take you a long way.

But first off Dustin, please don't get it twisted. No society in the world considers the facial features that aniston brings to the table 'pretty.'

Quick course on pretty:
1)very pretty verging on beautiful are Katherine Heigl or Courtney Cox
2)average pretty is Gwyneth Paltrow or Sandra Bullock
3)borderline pretty is Lisa Kudrow or Marisa Tomei

Aniston is not in ANY of these three categories.

Now, when her hair is colored, cut and blown to perfection, when she is highlighting her tanned, plated and yoga'd to hell fit body, and with the use of lots and lots of makeup, much like Sarah Jessica, Streisand, or Joy Behar - she can be very attractive. But in reality, the chick who plays Larry David's wife on Curb Your Enthusiasm is actually better looking FACE wise.

FACT: If you are somehow going by what standards of beauty are applied to females in most cultures in the world (full lips, wide spaced eyes, high cheekbones, broad foreheads, small-ish noses, and feminine chins) - then surely, you have to be aware that Aniston is posessed of NONE of these features. Why are you lying to yourself?

That's not to say she is worthless, or not fit for society - I just happen to think that not only is she a drag to look and listen to, she really is not that talented, and has no charisma. I'm also REAL tired of people saying, if only Aniston would try this or that, film wise. ENOUGH. It's going on 15 years. Move aside, and let the next newly crowned sit-com actress who gets unwarranted hype because of a hairdo and who she's married to, have a shot a film stardom. Our return does not match our investment in this woman. If she delivered the best performance that she was capable of, that STILL would not make me choose her movie over watching paint dry.

If you want to see something hilarious - watch this old youtube interview of Aniston being interviewed by a well-known celeb reporter. He very innocently likens her to Babs Streisand, and Aniston just about loses her sh*t. You can tell she is highly insulted, and 4 nose jobs later, hairline surgery, restylane filler in her mouth and juvaderm filler in her cheeks - I bet she is STILL trying to outrun that long ago diss (I happen to think Aniston is not fit to shine Streisand's pumps). I don't think I've seen a more rude reaction from a celebrity in my life. Start watching from 2:18 Check it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1gawY7WHcY

Then when your done with that - check out how vapid and mean her former roomate relays she is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y69vkFvQqk Explains those many many bare asss'd and bare tittted moves she made in the 90s. Aniston is very much aware where her best assets lie. She's what? 41 or 42? The best thing she could do at this point, is stop assaulting us with her crappy rom-coms, and banal interviews where she'll inevitably invoke (either directly or indirectly) that whole 'team aniston' era to garner sympathy, and just...go get a life.

Oh man. I bet babs does not like her some Aniston.

Most predictable thread ever.

Aniston was gorgeous in the first season or two of Friends. Courtney Cox even more so. But soon after both decided they had to drop some weight and hit the gym too hard. Their bodies got a little sinewy and their faces a little long and square. They remained very pretty, but just a little less attractive.

You're okay, movie website guy. You're not so mean like the others. What's your name again? Buster Rhymes? That's cute. I hope you like my new movie. Well, toodles. Have to get to yoga.

Oh, and I don't actually thing that poster is doing her any favors. I've seen her look a hell of a lot better than that.

Funny thing about her face is that she's recognizable for her blond hair and blue eyes. When you see her face on the magazine covers there is no way you could mistake her for someone else. Unlike other 'perfect' blonde haired blue eyed girls who may be pretty, but generic as.

You don't have to make a conscious effort to remember her face.

Sure, she doesn't have perfect bone structure with perfect angles (Jolie), but she is quite recognizable looking in her own right.

She takes care of herself and dresses decent too. But she has a look where you can't really 'play' with her looks much. You know, you can't give her radically different hair or clothing or she'd look weird.

She was way cute on Friends. Can't deny that.

Looks-wise, she'll go down in history as another Terri Hatcher.

Eff you! My opinion is best! You have no merit! Lips, boobs, body! Stop trying to contain me! Where is my adderall? Drink, eat, puke! Oogle, judge, sleep!

Jen Aniston is a female version of a talantless sean penn.

In comparison with whom? Anniston is okay. She's in wonderful shape and has an attractive build, nice hair. Facially? Not so much. She's not ugly, but she has the female equivalent of the Jay Leno "curse". She's not called Jennifer Chiniston fer nuthin'.

Having said the above, I'd take her brand of second-rate Hollywood looks anyday without complaint in the real world. She just isn't up to snuff looks-wise with the majority of leading ladies out there now. I feel like a pig saying this being a female and all. I'd love to be able to say with complete sincerity and truthfulness that looks don't count, particularly where women are concerned both in showbiz and out in the real world, but that would make me delusional, a liar or stupid . . . or all three.

The day women's looks (AND AGE) become the exception and not the ruling factor in showbiz, I'll gladly blow Care Bears AND My Little Ponies out my ass. And once again my age is showing.

Pleh.

Someone referenced Jolie's "bone structure." That's my problem with Jolie: You can see every bone in her head. She's a skull with lips. She looks like a 14-year-old wet-dreamer's idea of a hot woman (her and Megan Fox).

Once a guy grows out of that (if ever), he realizes Aniston is what he'd be happy to settle for and gaze upon every morning for the next 40 years.

She looks like a cross between Sean Penn and Dustin Hoffman.

If that is what one considers beauty, then so be it.