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Blue Man Group Movie | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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I Just Blue Myself. Again.

Blue Man to the Big Screen / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | May 20, 2009 | Comments (23)

We’ve known for a long time that there has been a Blue Man Group movie in the works, and when we first learned of it, I rued that The Blue Man Group, along with Stomp, represented — to me — some weird bougie bullshit, a way to extract $250 out of people who lived in McMansions and offer them some misguided belief that they were experiencing culture. My ass. I’d still like to take a Jolly Green Giant boot to their collective ass.

So, anyway: It’ll be one of those 3-D IMAX experiences, because everyone knows that Blue is best experienced with red-and-yellow 3D glasses. But now we know that it’s not actually going to be a standard Blue Man stage performance. No sir. David Russo has been tapped to direct. I have no idea who that is, but he directed The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle, which also doesn’t ring any bells. But get this: The movie is going to have plot. And you’re going to wish that it didn’t after you hear the premise, according to Variety:

The comedy will be about “the Blue Men entering the brain of a socially and creatively congested person and observing his neural patterns and his habitual brain functions and memory and altering it in a way that helps him bring his inside life outside.”


Woah. Don’t take the blue pill. What the hell does that even mean? Are those blue motherfuckers going to jump up and down around in some dude’s skull? Cause that’s not cool. Maybe it’s going to be a sequel to The Hangover.


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Comments

Why? WHY? I don't understand Blue Man, never have never will. But even with my aversion to them notwithstanding, this is a H O R R I B L E idea.

Posted by: Popcultureboy at May 20, 2009 6:10 PM

This sounds like something I'd hate. Pass.

Tangentially related, I once made out with a guy who was in Stomp! Just to share.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 20, 2009 6:11 PM

Only one way I'd consider this movie valid: if the "socially and creatively congested person" is actually Tobias Funke and they tie it into the Arrested Development movie.

Pay what you owe for that brilliant suggestion MFers!

Posted by: Gnaius at May 20, 2009 6:15 PM

I don't know. Could be cool. I mean, the "plot" on MST3k was simply a vehicle for the jokes. My hope is that this is the same sort of deal. They play music in this guy's head, they jump and make cool music, he dances to music no one else can hear, and the audience gets to hear some cool music.

But I'm naturally an optimist.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at May 20, 2009 6:28 PM

I saw Little Dizzle at Sundance and talked to David Russo a bit afterwards in the filmmaker's lounge. He's a cool guy, and Little Dizzle, I though, was phenomenal. Totally whacked out, but endearing. Check it out if you get a chance. It plays in Seattle this weekend, I think.

Posted by: Bucko at May 20, 2009 6:28 PM

If I want to watch men in blue body paint, I'll simply wait for Carnival to roll around again and with it the yearly re-entry of the Paramin Blue Devils.

It's free and some of them "spit" fire. Way more fun I be thinking.

Posted by: Four Eyes at May 20, 2009 6:56 PM

*Spender reads item... steps outside...digs at the dirt with his heel... falls to his knees and scrabbles at hard packed soil, even after his fingers begin bleeding...thinks to self: MUST DIG GRAVE before Blue Man movie come out"... finishes hole, falls in and begins pulling dirt in...*

Posted by: Spender at May 20, 2009 7:03 PM

*Grabs Spender and caves in skull*

One less zombie to worry about. That's what this is about right? Blue Man Zombies? Look at the cold lifeless eyes, the paint is just to cover up the rotting flesh.

Posted by: admin at May 20, 2009 7:11 PM

Plus, it looks like they were the stars of a Smurfanese bukakke porn.

Posted by: admin at May 20, 2009 7:12 PM

This is the absolute worst idea for a film ever, next to a Donnie Darko sequel. But ever since they actually made that, I've come to fully accept that every terrible idea humans can dream up will be tried at some point in time. Just look at Insane Clown Posse for any needed evidence.

Posted by: George at May 20, 2009 7:23 PM

Plus, it looks like they were the stars of a Smurfanese bukakke porn.

Posted by: admin at May 20, 2009 7:12 PM
_________________________________

"Bluekakke", admin?

Oh, and praise Godtopus for the skull bashing.

Posted by: Spender at May 20, 2009 7:27 PM

Well done sir. Well done.

Posted by: admin at May 20, 2009 7:31 PM

I might watch this if the person they inhabited was Jay Leno, and they pulled his innards from the inside out and tucked them up over his chin, and he died and we never had to hear a word from him again. And, if after that the BMG were eaten alive by Leno's stomach acid and we never had to hear from them again either.

Posted by: Cindy at May 20, 2009 7:45 PM

Saw the Blue Man Group in Vegas. Didn't have high expectations at all, but I now don't get the hate. They put on a fun, entertaining show.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 20, 2009 7:46 PM

They play music in this guy's head, they jump and make cool music, he dances to music no one else can hear, and the audience gets to hear some cool music.

Add on how the instruments used are supposed to be the congested, broken tools of imagination in this random guy's head and I think that's the film.

Posted by: Robert at May 20, 2009 8:20 PM

I can't ever think of anything other than Tobias in his blue paint and cut-offs when I see Blue Man Group pictures.

Posted by: Major Etiquette at May 20, 2009 11:39 PM

^^^Ha Ha^^^
I was just thinking about Arrested Development about ten minutes ago.

I've always found the Blue Man Group thing to be just plain creepy.
"No! Blue Man #2, you may not babysit my child."

The other thing is, I'm not even sure that there's an original Blue Man touring these days (they change dem shits like blown underwear.)

Posted by: Weirdly Sawbones at May 21, 2009 1:49 AM

I saw Blue Man Group in Vegas and while I didn't want to kill myself during the show, I promptly forgot every moment I had just seen the second I walked out of the theatre. It's sort of like observing air, from what I can recall. Not much to it but it seems vaguely blue. Also the Blue Men were standing in the corridor after the show and everyone was crowding them, getting photos, hugs, blue smears of paint on their cheeks, etc, and generally freaking out in the way you would assume people only do for rock stars or, you know, someone significant and I just did. not. get. that. One of them (do they have individual names?) tried to hug me and I can't tell you how much that weirded me out. Dude, your show was instantly forgettable and you are possibly alien and almost certainly nuts. What makes you think I want to snuggle you? Also they don't speak. Like characters at Disneyland only without the 'happiest place on earth' vibe.

What was this about again? Oh right, the movie. I'll pass.

Posted by: Vampire Goddess at May 21, 2009 6:54 AM

I guess I'm a moron since I like the BMG. I didn't think I was getting culture though, just a fun time. And they delivered. I doubt the movie will be able to convey the same feeling but I'm willing to give it a chance in the hope it will be sort of a lesser "Being John Malcovich".

Posted by: ed newman at May 21, 2009 8:57 AM

The plot of the movie sounds like one of the skits in the movie "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask." The skit where Woody Allen is a sperm.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 21, 2009 11:18 AM

en newman, you're not totally alone here. We've been to see them live once and thought it was a fun, goofy time. I didn't expect to be enlightened, I expected to be entertained, and they delivered. I'd see them again (and it didn't cost $250, either).

Based on some of the concept they fit into their "How To Be a Megastar" show, they could probably pull together something pretty interesting.

Posted by: explodingalice at May 24, 2009 3:50 PM

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Posted by: hotgirl at May 24, 2009 9:56 PM

The Blue Man experience is beyond over-rated. Stay in Vegas, with the other talentless, overpriced gigs.

Posted by: paulding at May 25, 2009 9:31 AM





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