web counter
 

abs_wedding1.jpg

Take Our Survey, Please

Pardon the Interruption / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | November 11, 2008 | Comments (92)

Last year, all you good folks were kind enough to take our Reader Survey, sponsored by Blogads, the good company that keeps us in business with blogads of a half-naked Pamela Anderson and … er … Doritos! Seriously Random Lists don’t pay for themselves, you know? And Phillip is trying to work his way up to Beef Flavored Ramen Noodles. So, if you’d be so kind to take this little survey, I’ll keep insulting our geek brethren.

Actually, I have no idea how Blogads uses these results, but I personally find them fascinating. Once the survey is closed, we’ll publish the results so you’ll know what kind of company you’ve been keeping around here. Last year’s survey had a lot of questions about alcohol, but this year’s ask more pertinent questions like, “Have you shopped at Wal-Mart in the past month?” I look forward to seeing the results and starting a new culture war on the site.

Here it is:

Please take my Blog Reader Project survey.


Last year, we discovered that our readership is 70 percent female. And it is for those readers that I offer up this as incentive to take the survey:


398095408_ef07ba57d7.jpg









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Barry Lyndon | The Five Best Paul Rudd Roles →









Comments

Oh God Yes.

Posted by: ohgodyes at November 11, 2008 2:02 PM

You evil man. Just for that I'm lying throughout the survey.

Posted by: Julie at November 11, 2008 2:05 PM

Thank you for making my day suck less. Although now I do have to change my panties before class.

Posted by: darwinfox at November 11, 2008 2:07 PM

Aaaaaand my incentive is..........

hmph

Posted by: Jay at November 11, 2008 2:07 PM

Pajiba: 70% female. 100% perverse.

Posted by: JP at November 11, 2008 2:08 PM

Dustin, my friend, that is some damn fine incentive, right there. I'm going to take it as soon as I get home, if you can just provide me with the young man's address.

Because... I want to ... stalk him tie him up in my basement do ungodly things to his body send him a greeting card.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 11, 2008 2:08 PM

You know who used a lot surveys:

The Soviets.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2008 2:12 PM

AvB: ha!

Posted by: Julie at November 11, 2008 2:15 PM

Good luck with that, Anna. But should you happen to find out where Taylor Kitsch is, let me know. I'd like to give him a "greeting card" as well.

(The "greeting card" is my vagina.)

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at November 11, 2008 2:15 PM

You know what else is Communist, B-Slim? Star Wars. That's a fact. I saw it on the Internet. That makes you a Communist sympathizer.

Posted by: Dustin at November 11, 2008 2:16 PM

As long as they incentivize with photos of Tim Riggens with a boner in his jeans* then I'm in full support of a return to communism.

*I may have imagined that bit, but seriously keep looking at his crotch and you will see it, kind of like one of those 3D images.

Posted by: vab at November 11, 2008 2:17 PM

Is that who that is, Genny? I didn't even know. Probably in part because I didn't actually look at his face.

Anyway, you and your ..."greeting card" are welcome to my basement. I'm not really so good at knots licking envelopes. (Wait... that's dirty too. Damn!)

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 11, 2008 2:20 PM

WAIT! I just finished the survey and there was some bit about blogs with prize drawings somethingsomething email address here and I go "Pajiba's not doing that whole mess" and click done but then I come back here and read "incentive" and I wonder if you're actually giving out sexual favors via Mr.Kitsch there and if so you have to tell me now before I continue this ridiculous run-on sentence.

Because if that's the case, I will spend the rest of the day filling out that survey in different ways. I've got nothing better to do, trust me.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at November 11, 2008 2:20 PM

Is it weird to want to sniff his neck?

Posted by: ohgodyes at November 11, 2008 2:21 PM

Godtopussy has ordained this.


And it is good.

Posted by: Beatific Barf at November 11, 2008 2:21 PM

By far the oddest question on the survey was the one about riding a segway.

Posted by: peachfish at November 11, 2008 2:24 PM

The security guards at our mall ride Segways. It is hi-freaking-larious. And I want one. Realyreally want one.

Posted by: greer at November 11, 2008 2:28 PM

You try.

You try to break my soul.

You ask for help in insulting me.

You set off this feminine landmine and tell the minority to disappear, and that you hope that they feel ugly.

This negative energy....just makes me stronger. I will not retreat. I am unstoppable.

Posted by: Jay at November 11, 2008 2:30 PM

Raaaaaaawr. Your word is my command, Rowles.

Posted by: figgy at November 11, 2008 2:30 PM

70% female Pajiba readers/30% male Pajiba readers = I ought to be getting laid a lot more around here.

And I'm going to start on that, once I finish with AvB (1:18 to go, my sweet!).

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 11, 2008 2:41 PM

I rode a segway for the first time this summer and it was FANTASTIC. Plus, as an added bonus, all your friends look like complete tools with their little helmets on. You do too, but you can still make fun of them.
I highly recommend segway tours, available in every major city.

I've done a Chicago segway tour, and a Rome segway tour. Both were awesome.

And you know, I think that guy is overrated. I mean, just because looking at his chisled abs makes me want to drizzle chocolate syrup all over them and lick it up doesn't mean he's so great. And...and, you know, so what if I wouldn't even care if he sucked in bed because I could just stare at him like he's some sort of circus freak on display? And who cares that looking at him makes me feel all sorts of funny and gushy inside my tummy and down in my special parts? I mean, looks aren't everything, right? *Sigh*

Posted by: tt_marie at November 11, 2008 2:46 PM

... Soldier of Fortune Magazine?

Posted by: phquaryn at November 11, 2008 2:48 PM

I don't envy any of the members of the Pajiba janitorial staff after this. I hope that they don't have to pay for their own mops.

Posted by: branded at November 11, 2008 2:50 PM

Man, I can't wait till the Wolverine movie comes out. He plays Gambit. Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds, and that guy up there all in the same movie.

And people think comic book movies are made for men.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at November 11, 2008 2:54 PM

"I ought to be getting laid a lot more around here"

Has any Pajiban in the history of Pajiba EVER gotten any from a fellow Pajiban? I mean, I know there have been ATTEMPTS, but any success stories?

Posted by: tt_marie at November 11, 2008 2:54 PM

He's playing Gambit, Genny (also Rusty)? That is almost too much hotness for one movie! Almost. I can't wait to see it!

Posted by: Melissa at November 11, 2008 2:59 PM

mean, I know there have been ATTEMPTS, but any success stories?

Lizzieborden is sleeping over my apartment on Friday night, so by Saturday morning we'll have at least one check in that column.

Posted by: Julie at November 11, 2008 3:00 PM

I don't know...that hip vein thing is sorta bugging me out.

I suppose the whole ab-tastic, pouty-lipped thing just isn't for me.

Where are all the ladies that like guys who are either a little skinny or a little fat? Because those are my people...or wait, maybe not, because then we would be competeing for the same men...huh...well... back off, bitches.

I took the survey anyway, mostly because I enjoy taking them. They make me feel like I matter.

Posted by: Arr Matey at November 11, 2008 3:03 PM

Genny, I have been looking forward to Wolverine for ages now... The meat parading in a superhero movie is pretty much Mana from the Gods. Only matched by watching The Covenant with the sound off, drunkenly turning it into a gay drama with myself and the roommates providing the lines.

Posted by: Dagon at November 11, 2008 3:03 PM

Did it really take almost an hour for the G word to come up?

Now now, Ms. Marie, aren't these respectable, discreet people here?

Posted by: Jay at November 11, 2008 3:04 PM

Hey Dagon! Did you send your stuff to Dustin? You won EE last week in case you didn't see.

Posted by: Julie at November 11, 2008 3:05 PM

And yeah and what was with all them weird and disturbing Segway questions?

*one Segway question is TOO many as far as I'm concerned.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2008 3:07 PM

70% female readership should mean 70% Paheeba days. We are under-represented! Just sayin'. I mean, feminine hygiene products in the eye are no fun, so why not just give up the goat without a fight?

Posted by: Alexandra at November 11, 2008 3:07 PM

Hey Dustin-
They wanted me to write a testimonial.

A paper'd fan that coaxes minds alight
From embers glowing love of screen and verse;
Pajiba! Save me from this desk job plight,
And give me leave to judge and squee and curse!
Bound to thy endless fields of comment thread
Devoted to thine spoilers and reviews
Addicted to the spine-caressing dread
Of hearing some new bit of movie news-
Assuredly, thy splendor will be told
As any lurker e'er was rickroll'd.

I overdo things.

Posted by: Beatific Barf at November 11, 2008 3:09 PM

Oh, don't worry, Arr Matey... I like the skinny ones too. And the fuller ones. I like 'em all. "Boy-crazy Anna von Beaverplatz", that's what my friends call me.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 11, 2008 3:09 PM

Well, that was weird. I'm getting the guy-with-the scorpion-in-his-nose ad right under Mr. Hot, Mysterious and Icky-Veined. It's like the angel/devil on your shoulder thing, right there.

Posted by: Wednesday at November 11, 2008 3:11 PM

That was beautiful, Barf.

Heh.

Posted by: Julie at November 11, 2008 3:17 PM

Agreed, Barf. Nice work.

And Jay, to answer your question: I sincerely hope not.

Joolie: Yay! Pajeepover!

Posted by: tt_marie at November 11, 2008 3:42 PM

Dear me, I better keep myself secluded then. Ho ho!

Posted by: Jay at November 11, 2008 3:45 PM

bucdaddy70% female Pajiba readers/30% male Pajiba readers = I ought to be getting laid a lot more around here.

Given how many of us are homos, and your purported oral skills, you should be booked solid.

Do you have webbed toes or something?

Posted by: Drake at November 11, 2008 3:45 PM

Is it weird to want to sniff his neck?

Posted by: ohgodyes at November 11, 2008 2:21 PM

ohgodyes, ohgodyes

My wife did that to me on our first date. It was weird then, too, but also strangely erotic.

True story.

Posted by: Che Grovera at November 11, 2008 3:50 PM

I mean, think about it. If two Pajibans hooked up and didn't tell us all about it, that would be downright ungrateful. I mean, I feel like we are all in this together, right? They'd OWE us.

Posted by: tt_marie at November 11, 2008 3:54 PM

Juile, I did, but have not heard back from him yet. Maybe he's spending all of his time trying to make us overdose on good-looking guys.

Posted by: Dagon at November 11, 2008 3:55 PM

Bah! hooking up in real life is overrated, I banged all the chicks here...in my head.

That's right ladies, Slim thinks about you ...a lot, especially when he's got tissues handy.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2008 3:57 PM

TT, I promise to uphold the oath of full hookup disclosure by giving everyone a play by play of my Friday squeezing of Nicole's boobies and subsequent molestation of Lizzie.

Posted by: Julie at November 11, 2008 4:00 PM

There should have been more questions about alcohol. Isn't that our area of expertise around here?

I'd love to see the results of that survey:

90% of Pajibans drink several times a week.
10% of Pajibans think "Nightly" is too limiting a response.
35% of Pajibans prefer Gin
60% of Pajibans prefer Whiskey
5% of Pajibans make their own liquor.
100% of Pajibans drink more frequently after Dustin posts about a Hitchcock remake starring Aston Kutcher.

Posted by: Macafee at November 11, 2008 4:00 PM

Gosh, B Slim, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.

Posted by: tt_marie at November 11, 2008 4:00 PM

10% of Pajibans think "Nightly" is too limiting a response.

Ah ha ha!! It's funny because it's true.

Posted by: Julie at November 11, 2008 4:02 PM

Gosh, B Slim, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.

Posted by: tt_marie at November 11, 2008 4:00 PM

*wink*

I'm glad you appreciate it, sugartits.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2008 4:02 PM

What's a Blo Gad?

Posted by: Lucas at November 11, 2008 4:09 PM

Thanks Che Grovera, it's nice to know I'm not alone. You must be rather lovely to warrant a neck sniff.

Posted by: ohgodyes at November 11, 2008 4:13 PM

Thanks guys. I had fun with it.

Posted by: Beautific Barf at November 11, 2008 4:14 PM

Obviously blogads uses these surveys to establish comp indexes, which is basically the "markety" way of saying that they want to find out what kind of shit you all buy so they can sell you more shit.

Judging by the ads on this page, all of you Pajiba people eat at Applebees, need to lose weight, and get more tutoring at Sylvan.

And I don't buy for a second Dustin doesn't know what this is about.

Happy shopping!

Posted by: ch77ato at November 11, 2008 4:23 PM

Ok, done. So when can I expect Taylor And His Scary Fuck-Muscle Vein to arrive at my door?

Some of the questions I had no answer for, as they were US-specific. Sorry about the blanks!

Posted by: Tarn at November 11, 2008 4:30 PM

You must be rather lovely to warrant a neck sniff.

Posted by: ohgodyes at November 11, 2008 4:13 PM

*blush (turns purple)*

I am no judge of male loveliness, ohgodyes, but in any event I think it had more to do with actually smelling good. Unless you girls just make that shit up as you go and I'm only now finding out what really motivates you...

Posted by: Che Grovera at November 11, 2008 4:43 PM

...........................wait, what?

Was there....was there readable text?

I'm ...i'm sorry i got completely and utterly....


You know that picture could have been Ryan Reynolds.


I mean.

Come on. You KNOW we'd have probably thanked you in ILLEGAL ways for a random, monday dose of ReynoldsAb

Posted by: nadine at November 11, 2008 4:44 PM

...........................wait, what?

Was there....was there readable text?

I'm ...i'm sorry i got completely and utterly....


You know that picture could have been Ryan Reynolds.


I mean.

Come on. You KNOW we'd have probably thanked you in ILLEGAL ways for a random, monday dose of ReynoldsAb

Posted by: nadine at November 11, 2008 4:44 PM

ohgodyes if by "sniff" you mean "bite it", then I'm all in. Rawrgh, but I'd do unspeakable things to that biscuit.

I better stop writing now.

Posted by: figgy at November 11, 2008 5:01 PM

Is that a threat, Ms. Marie?

Posted by: Jay at November 11, 2008 5:27 PM

Maybe it's just the narcissist in me, but I LOOOVE answering questions about myself.

Posted by: BizzyBees at November 11, 2008 7:03 PM

I'm 70% female?

I don't think you're alone, BizzyBees, did you see the size of the "Introduce Yourself" thread?

Posted by: Eep at November 11, 2008 7:29 PM

Well, if I'm 100% man it's an awfully strange type, I'll tell ya that much.

Yeah I suppose if you don't have to do it for a living, divulging's fun. And it's nice to be invited to do so, right? I'll go on all day but I need an invitation, and after that it's your fault. But then I am a frustrated performer who hates to be the center of attention.

Necks are nice in general. I have a strong feeling about that. And you've got the whole pulse point thing going on if there's any fragrance present. If there's a little too much, or perhaps too recently, you might taste it, which isn't as good as smelling it, but, you know, within reason, you really don't care about that. Especially if you already like the fragrance, and you've got the warm skin version going on right in front of your nose. And then the side leads into the back of the neck as well as the ear and....yeah, it's nice.

Posted by: Jay at November 11, 2008 7:47 PM

Sorry but the Segway question? Really? If there is One percent that rides one daily I am leaving this site.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 11, 2008 7:48 PM

I agree with Optimus. What the hell was the segway question about?

And that guy's veins scare me.

Posted by: Jaci at November 11, 2008 8:13 PM

RRRIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIINNNNNNSSSS!!!! YES!!!

Posted by: Be Adequite! at November 11, 2008 8:14 PM

Survey completed. 0 Segway rides. Now, where is that address?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 11, 2008 8:53 PM

"Is that a threat, Ms. Marie?"

Erm, no, I was just appealing to the sense of community and togetherness that is ever-present among my fellow Pajibans. No threats...YET.

*narrows eyes menacingly*

Posted by: tt_marie at November 11, 2008 8:56 PM

A) I can't believe I missed this last year. Damn work being so busy in November!

B) It's refreshing to actually find one's religion listed--except they left off the Universalists, and you don't wanna piss them off.

C) I wasn't sure if, for the purposes of the survey, Pajiba counted as a blog. I don't think of it as one, but it seemed like maybe Blogads does. That part was confusing.

D) The Main Squeeze who is a survey researcher (among the various forms of research he does), says that the survey is terrible. You know, from a good research perspective.

Posted by: tamatha at November 11, 2008 10:46 PM

Is that really Taylor Kitsch? Because if so, the creepy veins have RUINED him for me *dramatic sigh*

Speaking of my future-husband-who-I plan-on-keeping-around-for-purely-physical-reasons-who-wouldn't-be-allowed-to-speak-until-he-dropped-the-Canadian-accent, Friday Night Lights wasn't on the tv show list, so I had to add it under the "other" section.

Posted by: Austin at November 11, 2008 11:34 PM

Two girls for evvvv-reeee booooooooooooooooooy!

Hood/Cooley 11/12/'08

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 11, 2008 11:43 PM

Okay, I took the survey, but it was more from appreciation of the picture of Paul Rudd than Mr. WaxedClean above.

Posted by: Erin MJ at November 12, 2008 1:29 AM

TAYLOR KITSCH..... GAMBIT.....

Fuck, I think I'm going to go ahead and take the survey after all.

Well played, Dustin. But know that we've all probably developed an immunity to this hunk of man meat. (So maybe next time you should post a shirtless picture of Jensen Ackles, to up the ante)

Posted by: monkey_b at November 12, 2008 1:48 AM

OH Gals. Can't we look at a picture of a nice young man without our minds going straight to the gutter?
I, for example, would like to brush his hair gently out of his eyes.
WITH MY COOCH.

Posted by: AdaHaze at November 12, 2008 2:25 AM

*snorfles at Ada*

I had to Google "segway" to even be able to answer that. I guess non-USians answering the survey is not hugely useful.

*likes the body*
*passes on the face*
Oh well, you don't look at the mantlepiece when you're stoking the fire.

Posted by: embertine at November 12, 2008 9:47 AM

And the Biggest Dumbass Of The Year Award goes toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

Sofía! For thinking Segway was a different word for Subway, and answering she rides one every single day.

Posted by: Sofía at November 12, 2008 10:02 AM

Well, that would make a bit more sense rather than a spectacularly lame pun for a spectacularly lame looking machine.

Sure it works. But it's still goofy. I'd say just get a damn bike or a Rascal. Get some exercise or completely say "fuck it".

Posted by: Jay at November 12, 2008 10:54 AM

Careful what you wish for, monkey_b....

Posted by: Tarn at November 12, 2008 11:09 AM

... mind you, monkey_b, once you get past that first pic, it does get better.
And by 'better', I mean 'less gay'.

Posted by: Tarn at November 12, 2008 11:13 AM

I don't think the survey takes into account that I don't have a TV, but I took it anyway.

Posted by: mia at November 12, 2008 12:05 PM

Oh... poor Sofia. It's a shame but I think this means I must be gone. I made a solemn vow. I return to the shadows from whence I came. Re-Lurk!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 12, 2008 12:37 PM

For all those looking for Taylor's address, I may just be able to help out. I may not know where he lives right now, but I do know where his parents live. He's bound to be there come Christmas time...hopefully. I knew him back in Elementary School, so it's a bit weird ogling him now online. I still kinda see him as a 5th grader.

Posted by: Ping at November 12, 2008 1:10 PM

Ping,
er, no thanks (I assume you aren't joking?)
That shit is - or should be - private.

Posted by: Tarn at November 12, 2008 1:44 PM

So I took the survey...and waited all day for that boy to ring the bell (and subsequently my bells).WTF????

Posted by: brite at November 12, 2008 1:45 PM

Okay I took the survey (it was pretty long). I get the usual questions, but why do you want to know how many tattoos and piercings your readers have? Is there some sort of hidden rule that you have to have a tattoo (tramp stamp) to be a "cool" Pajiban?

Posted by: True_Blue at November 12, 2008 2:38 PM

Okay I took the survey (it was pretty long). I get the usual questions, but why do you want to know how many tattoos and piercings your readers have? Is there some sort of hidden rule that you have to have a tattoo (tramp stamp) to be a "cool" Pajiban?

Posted by: True_Blue at November 12, 2008 2:38 PM

Tarn...I went to school with him, but wasn't actually serious about giving out the address. I agree that shit should remain private. I'm sure the last thing anyone would want is some creeper showing up in their parents driveway.

Posted by: Ping at November 12, 2008 2:54 PM

Sorry Brite - I cut the wire to your doorbell.
He's mine, MINE I TELL YOU!

*snigger*

Posted by: Tarn at November 12, 2008 3:01 PM

Ping,
sorry! I couldn't be sure if you meant it or not, from your post. I've seen an actor's private photos put up on a forum before now. Some people don't haz boundaries.

Absolutely! We're perverts here, not stalkers!
;-)

Posted by: Tarn at November 12, 2008 3:11 PM

I tried to take the survey but did not like any of the religion options - why is there not a space for other and describe?

Posted by: gunter at November 12, 2008 3:27 PM

sorry, but the veins make me think hes going to morph into the hulk in about 3 seconds

Posted by: MissSmilla at November 12, 2008 9:42 PM

Tarn, I'd come up with some clever, Pajiban way of saying thank you... but it's taking a lot of mental energy not to spontaneously jizz right now. So thanks.

And this one is totally fucking me up, btw:

http://handson.provocateuse.com/show/jensen_ackles/07

Posted by: monkey_b at November 12, 2008 11:33 PM

monkey_b,

you're welcome!
yeah, that one is hot. The camera loves that boy. And it's not lying - I've met him, and damn...

Oh, don't worry, I think spontaneous jizzing happens a lot round here. See the comments after pics of Christina Hendricks, Ryan Reynolds etc. The Pajanitor and his mop are kept very busy...

Posted by: Tarn at November 13, 2008 10:27 AM