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Biz Break: "True Blood" Will End Its Run After Next Season, So Say Goodbye TO THESE!

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | September 4, 2013 | Comments ()


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It’s official: Season seven will be the last for the various creatures of Bon Temps and their assorted naked bits. We will get ten episodes to get our spank banks filled. After that it’s back to re-runs to get our fix.

I suppose they’ll tie up some loose ends too. Or whatever.

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If you like robots that are able to manipulate their forms and fight each other using guns and plasma deals and lots of explosions, then Michael Bay has got some more for you to rub on your gums. Transformers: Age of Extinction, aka BOOM ASPLODE ROBOTS 4, will feature Dinobots! Do you know what this means? We might be able to tell some of the robots apart! WHEEE!

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Bill Murray (The Actual Most Interesting Man in the World) has joined Barry Levinson’s new film Rock the Casbah. Murray plays a music manager who is down to his last client. He follows this client to the Middle East and then some things happen, leaving his character alone in Afghanistan. He stumbles upon a young lady with an incredible singing voice and he sets out to get her onto “Afghan Idol” (probably not the actual name of the competition).

It sounds like it could go very, very well or horribly wrong. Don’t let us down, Bill.

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Before Superman can get his ass handed to him by Batman, Henry Cavill will be starring with Armie Hammer in The Man from U.N.C.L.E.. Get this: Cavill will be playing the American operative and Hammer will be playing the Russian operative. ACTING!

“Forced to put aside longstanding hostilities, the two team up on a joint mission to stop a mysterious international criminal organization, which is bent on destabilizing the fragile balance of power through the proliferation of nuclear weapons and technology. The duo’s only lead is the daughter of a vanished German scientist, who is the key to infiltrating the criminal organization, and they must race against time to find him and prevent a worldwide catastrophe.”

I never watched the television series, so I have no opinion on this except UGH, ARMIE HAMMER AGAIN. STOP TRYING TO MAKE HIM HAPPEN.

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Slobby79

    Afghan (idol) star was a real thing, there was a doc made about it.

  • foolsage

    Juuuust in case someone out there didn't catch the reference in the titleā€¦

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Sars

    OH Armi Hammer- Why cant he just be content with being a privilaged trust fund baby, and having non-rough sex with his feminist wife? He isn't all that and he should accept it and be happy with the piles of money his dady gave him.

  • emmalita

    Why does the sex have to be non-rough? Is that stipulated in their marital contract. Is he afraid she'll break his nose?

  • If I was a privileged trust fund baby, I would totally try 'movie star' on for a bit, just to see if I could do it. If it took off, great. If it didn't, I guess I'd just have to fall back on my huge piles of money.

  • Sars

    It's the sense of entitlement that kills me though... like pretending the Lone Ranger was amazing and failed because of those nasty critics and that those nasty pleebs should just stfup and act like the pleebs they are -- praising him and telling him how AMAZING he is at EVERYTHING he touches... ugh.. just go away.

  • Well, that explains why he looks so relaxed.

  • chanohack

    No lie, I saw a little of "Afghan Idol/Star" yesterday. Looking back, it did need more Bill Murray.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Everything needs more Bill Murray. Fact of reality. I think Stephen Hawking did a paper on it.

  • foolsage

    The B(M) effect is barely understood, but one thing is clear: there is a severe paucity of Bill Murray everywhere. Even Bill Murray himself only has a B(M) rating of 0.9738, as of the latest scans.

    All we can do is pray, and rewatch the old films. It's been established that observation alters reality, so, literally, watching Bill Murray films increases the local and absolute B(M) readings.

    Everyone needs to do their part here. We're all in this together.

  • Uriah_Creep

    When people in my crowd use the initials BM, they're usually not talking about Bill Murray...

  • AudioSuede

    Afghan Idol is an actual show, though its real name is Afghan Star. There's a great documentary about it. It's startling how much they love singing competitions, but people get literally murderous with rage at the mere suggestion of dancing.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Armie Hammer, the very definition of "looks like a leading actor, is actually supporting at best."

  • AudioSuede

    Aw, I like Armie Hammer. He just needs to be in, you know, a single good movie that isn't The Social Network.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I like him, too, but I have to agree with Musty Pants up there (sorry, silly joke)-- dude only looks like he should be a star, he continually fails to actually sell it. I mean, dude was upstaged by Johnny Depp with a bird on his head. A real leading man could've won that battle.

  • Maguita NYC

    You guys are awesome! Agree with Pants, Armie is no leading man. He doesn't have the acting chops for it, or needs to mature and better his craft for a while before leading.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    I'll tailor your long pig, Hannibal.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Nicely played. Now let's call a truce and prevent Arm and Hammer from ever becoming an above the title thing.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    THANK GOODNESS TRUE BLOOD IS ENDING, though I will miss Eric Northman and Lafayette most terribly.

  • I'm holding out hope for a spinoff: "Eric and LaLa's Fabulous Adventures." Office Jason Stackhouse: Hot Cop can make guest appearances.

  • ZombieNurse

    I think they should just insert Lafayette into random shows. He is too fun not to have pop up again. I don't even care if it's a show where his character doesn't make sense. Hell, Sesame Street could benefit from him.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Imagine the issues that would cause for the poor kids who watch Sesame Street. I would foresee months of therapy in their futures.

  • emmalita

    I'm not sure Lafayette would be weirder or more trauma inducing than many of the things that have already happened on Sesame Street - a bitchy garbage can monster, creepy babytalk monster (elmo), Katy Perry...

  • Uriah_Creep

    Come to think of it, you're right, which gives me a great idea: those Sesame Street characters should guest star on True Blood's last season. It's synergy!

  • emmalita

    #OscarTheGrouchStakesBill

  • Uriah_Creep

    Awesome. #BestHashTagEver

  • John G.

    that's how it already feels with him on True Blood, like he's not really in the show, but just wandered in from another show, and since he'll never be able to outlive the typecasting of Lafayette, then he might as well sashay his way into scenes on other tv shows. We could link all these other show worlds to the True Blood universe. Imagine Lafayette on The Newsroom?Homeland? The Walking Dead? Game of Thrones?

  • While I support the idea, I don't think Nelsan Ellis will have a difficult time finding work after True Blood. He's pretty much the most watchable actor on that show - and he hardly gets naked at all.

  • Maguita NYC

    Lafayette needs to be on Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I just started watching the show, and Lafayette can make things that much more fabulously campy.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Put him in the Man from U.N.C.L.E., perhaps?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Someone give me a TV show, so I can put Lafayette on it. I have ideas. For USA, I really believe in Covert Pains, with black ops CIA doctors. For CW, I have a lovely little teen Jason Bourne thing I think could fit. Lafayette would be mostly out of place in either, but that is totally the point.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    I wholeheartedly support this idea. He can be television's Bill Murray.

  • BWeaves

    That T-shirt header pic reminds me of my old college days back in the 1970s. My roommate had a free T-shirt from Charlie perfume. It was a pale color with the signature "Charlie" written over the left breast. She wore it all the time. Guys would always ask her, "Charlie? What's the other one called?" and she would get sooooo pissed off. But her name wasn't Charlie and kept wearing the damn shirt.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    was she really pissed? Or just pretending to be pissed and secretly liking the attention? Because I'm thinking of me in high school/college, and it would've been the latter.

  • John G.

    I've been saving this last season of True Blood, because I couldn't quite bring myself to sit through it, but I'm about halfway through now, and I think this season may be the cheesiest and most ridiculous ever. Who knew they could get more absurd than the Vampire Bible and Lilith story? If I were on this show I would beg to have my character killed, but a final season works too. I'm betting it's gonna be the craziest nonsense we've ever seen.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    You mean crazier than fairy-vampire-zombie hybrids?

  • Maguita NYC

    The only good thing about True Blood this season was the luscious Luke Grimes. He made everything better, especially his scenes with Jessica.

  • That was it? I deactivated pop-up blocks for this shit? It's not even the size of my nose. It's not even bigger than the bloody THUMBNAIL. This is fucking unacceptable. When you link me a picture of [checks comment] Luke Grimes, you fucking deliver on that promise. You think I'm going to Google his name or something? THE FUCKING NO-FUCKING-TION-FUCKING. The entire reason I come to Pajiba is to have my smutty pictures handed to me on a silver butt-shaped platter without going through the methodical shame of typing the subject's name into a search engine. You have violated my code, my trust and my loins. I hope you understand the- Hey, and you know what else? I just asked my Mum, too. She thinks you're a total shitbag. She never curses and she said, out loud, and with words "Maguita NYC from the site Pajiba is a total shitbag. And I find Family Guy intermittently entertaining." Her words, not mine. Don't shoot the messenger. My Mom has a great taste in people; if she says you're a dick, there's a 95% positive correlation of right assumptions to back her up. I have the scattergraph right here. Scattergraphs do not lie. They're like hips, or Jim Carrey in that film he did once. Ask science.

  • Maguita NYC

    Urgh. If there is anything tackier than faux outrage is a grown-ass man with not only "Mum" issues, but a Mum who still thinks Family Guy is anywhere near intermittently entertaining.

    Here's your silver platter. Now sit the fuck down on it until your ass imprints and most probably indents it, and wait for my fucking mood and tolerant favor to "deliver" Luke fucking Grimes on your flat-assed butt-indented platter.

    Let me remind you this is Pajiba FFS; You are allowed to lose your mind over the hotness of Idris Alba, not some new comer wannabe from True Blood. So much vulgar indignation over such puny a crush.

  • Urgh. If there is anything that makes my heart drop wholesale out of my anus it is when somebody begins their reply to my comment with an 'Urgh'. Here I sit, bleeding onto my chair, mournfully typing this comment into my allotted text box. You made my anus bleed, Maguita. I hope you're satisfied.

    P.S.
    Yes, I do believe 'puny crush' is the correct terminology for such a teensy, cocktail sausage stub of picture.
    P.P.S
    I realise I talk about butts quite a lot, and have resolved to temporarily banish posterior-related words from my vernacular.
    P.P.P.S
    Sorry for not making a somebody laugh. As I am not a very words man, accept this song by Spiritualized as my apology: https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
    P.P.P.P.S
    There's only, like, one relevant lyric and it's in the title; I don't actually 'miss you like I miss the water when I'm burning' as I have never sustained any relationship, platonic or otherwise, over any kind of distance with your person.
    P.P.P.P.P.S
    I am not a 'grown-ass man', I am 18 years of age. NOW WHO LOOKS A SILLY.

  • especially his scenes with Jessica.

    Deborah Ann Woll was carrying him in those scenes.

  • Miri

    Normally True Blood has one terrible story line: anything with Sam, Jason being kidnapped and raped by hillbilly inbred were-panthers, anything to do with fairies... but the overall plot was alright (witches/ghost bullshit) to great (RIP Vampire King of Mississippi)
    The vampire prison has it's moments, but, gets old really quickly, everything with Bilith and the naked blood trio is pointless, and Sookie is once again an idiot who's easily fooled and once again needs to be rescued by everybody.

    I think I'll skip the last season

  • Pants_are_a_must

    The sad thing about True Blood is that it has the same problems as the books: too much mythology shoddily cobbled together and too many goddamn characters. The cleaning house True Blood needed to do 4 seasons ago should've started with Bill, but here we are. I will probably skip the last season, not that I didn't skip this one as well, to be honest.

  • UGH, ARMIE HAMMER AGAIN. STOP TRYING TO MAKE HIM HAPPEN.

    So much THIS.

  • Helo

    I dunno, I find him an enjoyable and likeable presence. Can't fault him for being so game in such underwhelming projects (though one could suggest he switch agents).

  • I don't hate him. But he isn't opening movies.

  • Helo

    Fair.

  • LucyKlein

    Is it me or have we recently had a lot actors people fail to make happen

    We had Shia Lebouef and his punchable smug face/average acting
    Sam Worthington

    Then the guy from John Carter
    Armie Hammer (a grown man should not be called Armie)

    They keep giving guys with average acting ability and no onscreen charisma big budget movies for no reason then beyond they're handsome.

    If the guy is a great acting or enjoyable to watch on screen, keep him in the background.

  • $27019454

    Alex Pettyfer

  • meadowdancer

    Dude.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Most up and comers get three leading roles before they are ruled out as a potential movie star.

    a. Let's see if he's got it.
    b. He was cast in this before the verdict was in.
    c. He's got it!/Never mind.

    If they are talented, but not really movie star material after all, they can move over to character actor (Law, Baldwin, Farrell). If they have a certain muscular appeal, they might get to work in B-movie action fare (Diesel and, I'm sorry, I believe he deserves better just like you do, Johnson).

    The same three tries apply to women, but with less options because character actress is a default position for the non-conventionally pretty and because most women's careers are over when they hit 45 anyway. Then it's all Lifetime movies and, with any luck, episodic television.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    Ugh, it's always a race against time. Why not change it up a little for once? How about a race against a stampeding hippo, or Gary Busey's rapid mental deterioration?

  • VonnegutSlut

    My favorite alternative is a race against Fat Kilmer cleaning out the all-you-can-eat taco night buffet at El Pigeon Grande.

  • Maguita NYC

    Fat Kilmer?? You mean the man who ate Val Kilmer!

  • emmalita

    Both of those are truly frightening things. Way scarier than time.

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