Biz Break: The Hollywood-inator Continues to Pair Embarrassingly Gorgeous People with Recycled Properties

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | January 8, 2013 | Comments ()

If yesterday was sparse and unsatisfying in its selection of trade news deliciousness then today is like one of those buffets in Vegas that cost $3.99 and boasts cuisine from every imaginable source. Sh*t, there’s nearly enough Joseph Gordon-Levitt news for one post, but I’ll smoosh it all down for you.

First up here is the news that the impeccably eyebrowed Famke Janssen is just waiting for Bryan Singer to call her about appearing as Jean Grey in X-Men: Days Of Future Past. If Singer gives her the call, Janssen will be returning with former co-stars Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellan, and Patrick Stewart. There is also the rumor that Janssen filmed something for the upcoming The Wolverine, though I can’t find any confirmations about that.

Do you remember when that new Godzilla movie starring Matthew Broderick came out in the 90s? The Wallflowers covered the David Bowie song “Heroes” and there were ads and promotions for it all of the f*cking time? Then it came out and blew giant, radioactive lizard scrotum? Get ready, because Godzilla is returning to movie screens if Legendary Pictures has its way. Jean Reno reacts thusly:

They have Frank Darabont doing a final script rewrite, Gareth Edwards (Monsters) directing, and the intent to ground Godzilla in reality. That’s f*cking stupid. Rumored leads include Henry Cavill (Man of Steel), Caleb Landry Jones (X-Men: First Class), and Scoot McNairy (Argo). Production is set to start March 14th with a May 16, 2014 release date.

There was the rumor that Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be the lead in the new Godzilla, but that sh*t ain’t the truth. JGL has accepted the lead role of Johnny in Robert Rodriguez’s Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. There is no plan to ground this in reality. This takes him out of the rumor mill for Guardians of the Galaxy, Justice League, and Godzilla. Thank, Godtopus for that. JGL was rumored to be in every movie releasing from now until 2015. Or that’s what it felt like. Anyway, the long-awaited sequel to Sin City is set to hit theaters October 4th of this year.

Disney’s live-action Cinderella has lost director Mark Romanek over his being “too dark.” I suppose the original fairy tale events that include cutting off heels and toes to cram feet into the glass slippers and marry a Prince aren’t going to make it into the film. Shame. Cate Blanchett is still the only name attached to the movie, as the lead of Cinderella still hasn’t been cast. Saoirse Ronan (The Host, Hanna), Gabrielle Wilde (The Three Musketeers), and Alicia Vikander (A Royal Affair) are all supposedly in contention to play Aschenputtel. To tide us over, let’s look at this picture of Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella in one of Disney’s photo campaign deals.

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Buck Forty

So is JGl playing Bruce Willis in a Sin City prequel?

denesteak

JEEESSSUUUSS Famke Janssen.

(Sorry, had to get it out of the way out front. Gonna actually read this now.)

Sara_Tonin00

See, now if the prince was looking for a boob to fit the corset, he would not have chosen that Cinderella. The corset is clearly too small.

Tinkerville

"and Scoot McNairy..."

Scoot? Scoot? SCOOT?! What the ever loving..

zeke_the_pig

When I saw his name on the Monsters credits I figured I read it wrong. So I rewound. Nope. So then I figured, 'Aww, cute little indie film, can't afford to spellcheck its leads' names.' Then the Killing Them Softly credits. Nope; Scoot. Well, maybe the whole budget went into Brad's name. Then here. Scoot. Yep. Imdb? Yup. Scoot. Good for him. Either way - good actor thus far.

Mrs. Julien

You know, I once wrote a song homage for Scoot McNairy to the tune of "Maria" from West Side Story (Does he have a brother named Harry?) on this very site. Yes, I am still bitter that it did not make EE, but I am even more bitter that Disqus ate all the old comments and I can't link to my overlooked magnificence at this most propitious time.

Tinkerville

After giving this more thought (it's a really slow work day), I'd like to think that he's trying to reclaim the name Scoot on behalf of all ridiculously named Hollywood-ites. And to that I say, bravo, Scoot. Keep on Scooting.

Samantha Klein

He was just in the newspaper recently, or somewhere, and I had the exact same reaction.

BWeaves

I'm sick of all these dark, reimaginings of traditional fairy tales. Either tell them straight up or aim them at a family audience or make up something new.

As far as Godzilla is concerned, I prefer the Japanese "Godzilla 2000: Millennium" which came out in 1999. Godzilla the way Godzilla is supposed to be: Tokyo stomping, radiation breathing, flame throwing, guy in a rubber suit. The other special effects are CGI and they aren't bad at all. They're good enough that you can tell what they're supposed to be, but they're just bad enough that they don't look real. The models are small enough that they do look like models. The underwater scenes don't have water in them. Godzilla's new arch enemy is a giant ROCK, that turns into a giant flying bicycle seat, and then morphs into a Godzilla wannabe. The dubbing is terrible, and the jokes, and the acting. Ah! My favorite line, "Bite me!" After Godzilla kills the alien monster someone says, "Why does Godzilla always help us?" Immediately after, Godzilla flames the entire town. Gotta love him! Shit, did I really need to say SPOILERS first?

Carlito

Yeah! These reimaginings are so dark! Completely unlike the original fairy tales either written or compiled by the Grimm Brothers and Perrault, which include murder, cannibalism, torture, rape, and mutilation, before being subsequently white-washed and pasteurized by Disney!

BWeaves

True. I meant an OR in there, not an AND. Changes the whole meaning. I was trying to make your point, but you made it better. What I was trying to say, was do the stories as written (i.e. sick and gory) OR aim them at family (a la Disney), or make up something completely new. But don't call it Snow White, and then completely change the story. Call it something else if it's not the actual story.

Bert_McGurt

Dudes, I just realized Goldeneye came out seventeen years ago. And Famke still looks like THAT.

Your move, Remington Steele.

Kelsy

I think the real crime of Godzilla was when Puffy Daddy convinced Jimmy Page to pimp out his riff from "Kashmir" and then perform in the music video.

http://youtu.be/MvA26p6wMYc

Bert_McGurt

So many times yes.

emmelemm

Agreed x 1,000.

Pinky McLadybits

I had blocked that from memory! GAH.

Andrew Ray

Uhhhhhhhhh ......... SPLAT!!!

Ick, my screen is now covered in Famke Janssen love juice .... Thank you Pajiba!!

Arran

Having got back from Vegas yesterday, I can tell you that there's no such thing as a $3.99 buffet. If you go to some disease-ridden joint downtown, you MIGHT get a breakfast buffet in the $8 range. On the Strip, you won't find a dinner buffet for less than $20.

Wait, did I miss the point of the article?

Pinky McLadybits

I should point out that I haven't been to Vegas since 2005...ha!

lowercase_ryan

Wait...JGL just signed on to play the lead in a movie that is scheduled for release in 9 months? What am I missing? That's not even possible, is it?

BlackRabbit

Or...is it? Dun dun duuun!

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Biz Break: The Hollywood-inator Continues to Pair Embarrassingly Gorgeous People with Recycled Properties