Biz Break: Only In Hollywood Would You Replace Timothy Olyphant with Paul Walker

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | February 6, 2013 | Comments ()

Ryan Gosling is set to make his directorial debut with How To Catch A Monster. Christina Hendricks and Ben Mendelsohn will join Gosling’s lovah Eva Mendes in the odd sounding flick.

Set against the surreal backdrop of a vanishing town, a single mother of two is swept up into a dark fantasy underworld while her teenage son discovers a hidden road into an underwater city. Mendes will play Cat, a prominent figure in the Big Bad Wolf Club while Zabrecky stars as a cab driver.

What I’m getting from this is some sort of Grimm-style fairy tale set in modern day. How To Catch A Monster starts filming in May.

Six years. That’s how long it has been since Timothy Olyphant shaved his head and played Agent 47 in Hitman. According to Hollywood, that’s enough time passed to warrant a reboot! Instead of Olyphant and his fine, fine ass, we get Paul Walker in Agent 47. Will this be the video game movie that makes us all believers? Ha ha, no. It won’t. For one thing, Mike Finch and Skip Woods are writing. Guess who wrote the first Hitman: Skip Woods. Woods also wrote A Good Day To Die Hard and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Do with that information what you will, as I will take a moment to appreciate this:

Is Paul Giamatti Rhino in the upcoming Spider-Man 2? No one is confirming yet, but we do have proof that he has been cast in the movie, along with Colm Feore. Here is the synopsis:

In The Amazing Spider-Man™ 2, for Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield), life is busy - between taking out the bad guys as Spider-Man and spending time with the person he loves, Gwen (Emma Stone), high school graduation can’t come quickly enough. Peter hasn’t forgotten about the promise he made to Gwen’s father to protect her by staying away - but that’s a promise he just can’t keep. Things will change for Peter when a new villain, Electro (Jamie Foxx), emerges, an old friend, Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan), returns, and Peter uncovers new clues about his past.

No mention of Giamatti’s character or Feore’s role. Perhaps Feore is Norman Osborne and we can count on Green Goblin popping up. Of course, we already have Electro. Let’s hope they learned what not to do from Spider-Man 3 and keep it simple, stupid.

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denesteak

I really enjoyed Hitman. Sincerely, sincerely. My favorite part was when the four agents facedowned each other and were like, "Let's die like men." or something, and then they threw down their guns and drew fucking sabres from behind their backs. Two each!!!

No, seriously. I like Hitman.

Paul Walker sucks.

seannyd

It drives me bonkers when people point to the number of villains as an issue in Spider-Man 3. It's not the number, it's how they're used. Nobody seems to remember that Batman Begins had like four villains in that one, and nary a complaint. You had Ra's Al-Ghul (Watanabe-style), Carmine Falcone, Scarecrow, and Ra's Al-Ghul (Liam Neeson style). The difference there is they were layered fantastically. Spider-Man 3's problem wasn't the number of villains. It was a terrible, terrible script. Coincidence stacked on top of coincidence and miscommunication that could have been easily rectified if the characters talked to each other like human beings instead of just crying. Couple that with a villain Raimi couldn't care less about and you have a perfect storm of disappointment.

duckandcover

I'll agree, but even with a rewrite, I think one or two villains in Spiderman 3 would've been left out. Either you focus on the deaths that Spiderman "caused" (Green Goblin and Uncle Ben, respectively) or you go full-on supervillain with Venom. I was all for omitting Gwen Stacy completely if they were going to focus on MJ as the love interest, too.

Mrs. Julien

Colm Feore is ALWAYS a good thing.

Meander

Let’s hope they learned what not to do from Spider-Man 3 and keep it simple, stupid.

Foxx, Giamatti, Feore - that's THREE probable villains, with Harry Osborn drama to boot? Please. The boat on simple is already sailing, and it looks like coherent isn't even going to make the gangplank.
~~~

Puddin

Yes, my darling, give yourself over to the intoxicating aroma of my armpit. Closer, my love. Closer. Ahhhh.

Kballs

It's like the Olyphant gif is giving that Gosling picture the "What the fuck, dude? You're really gonna stand there like that?" look.

JJ

http://x58.xanga.com/a82114323...

VonnegutSlut

I suppose I "get" why the studio flacks felt the need to put the ™ on THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN(™) but, to me, something about that one little notation signifies exactly what is wrong with Hollywood and reboots and pretentiousness--oh MY!

Enrique del Castillo

On the Nerdist podcast, Olyphant said that he made Hitman because he had to pay the house he bought before he knew Deadwood was cancelled. Maybe Paul Walker also wants to pay for a house.

Kballs

No way. The Fast and Furious franchise has that dude neck-deep in houses. He's looking to buy something far, far more sinister.

VonnegutSlut

Maybe he's looking to buy a new child bride--didn't Walker marry a chick who was, like, 13? Jerry Lee Lewis-style?

Kballs

I don't know, but let's tell everyone he did because FUCK 'EM.

Three_nineteen

Of course Hollywood is the only place where you can substitute Paul Walker for Timothy Olyphant. Everyone else has to use whatever guy they were drunk enough to go home with from the bar.

Drake

To be fair, Paul Walker is also a pretty man and has a fine ass. It's just that with him it's all a hollow shell.

Sefa

I want to like Walker because from what I've gathered, he's a decent dude, a good father and does a lot of hands-on charity/aide work. But damn it if he isn't the most boring actor.

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Biz Break: Only In Hollywood Would You Replace Timothy Olyphant with Paul Walker