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Biz Break: Just When I Thought I Was Out, Shyamalan Pulls Me Back In (with Some Help from Carla Gugino)

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | August 14, 2013 | Comments ()


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Vin Diesel insinuated that he would be playing Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy by dropping this photo on his Facebook page:

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As of my writing this sentence that you are reading right now, Diesel has not been confirmed as Groot. It was confirmed by Deadline that he was in talks for the role, which doesn’t always mean anything. We will see if Diesel is indeed to play a tree.

Also, have you seen the leaked footage from Guardians?

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Speaking of Marvel/Disney, a teaser poster has been revealed for a currently unnamed project. Bloody Disgusting seems to think it might be connected to a family horror film or a comic based on the first draft of The Haunted Mansion, “Museum of the Weird”.

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Neill Blomkamp and Sony are moving forward with the sci-fi comedy Chappie, starring Sharlto Copley. Copley will be the voice of Chappie, an android that is stolen by some ne’er do wells in order to do crimes. Blomkamp says that “It’s like a fundamentally more simple story, a comedy, a heartfelt story, in a science fiction setting, and it’s f*cking hilarious, it’s a really cool film. I can say that with confidence… It’s a smaller film, a more esoteric one.”

In incorrectly spelled SyFy news, “High Moon”, a pilot from Bryan Fuller, has cast two characters. Jake Sandvig (Easy A) will be an astronaut named Marty Thurgood involved in the colonization of the moon in order to strip it of natural resources. Marty becomes the subject of scrutiny when a blast occurs near his work area on the moon. Chris Diamantopoulos (“24”) will play Marty’s brother who must travel to the moon to investigate the shenanigans and goings on.

“Wayward Pines” is M. Night Shyamalan’s “Fox Event Series” based on the novel of the same name by Blake Crouch. This “event” will star Matt Dillon as Secret Service agent Ethan Burke. Burke arrives in Wayward Pines, Idaho in order to track down two missing federal agents. Then things go all crazy bananas and he gets more questions and less answers.

Also starring in this “event”? Melissa Leo, Carla Gugino, Toby Jones, Terrence Howard, Shannyn Sossammon, Juliet Lewis, Greta Lee (“Girls”, “Nurse Jackie”), Tim Griffin (Star Trek), and Charlie Tahan (Frankenweenie). UGH. Now I’m going to have to watch it.

“Vampire Academy” is a young adult book series that isn’t really that great but is good enough to pull you in and make you read the entire series immediately. The little-known series is being made into a movie called The Vampire Academy that will release on February 14th, 2014. Aw! Zoey Deutch (Beautiful Creatures) plays Rose Hathaway, the narrator of the books and main character. Rose is a half-human and half-vampire called a Dhampir. In the universe of the books, Dhampirs train to protect the mortal vampires, called Moroi, from the immortal vampires, called Strigoi, that seek to exterminate the Moroi race. Rose’s best friend is a member of Moroi royalty named Lissa, played by Lucy Fry (“Mako Mermaids”??). Got it? Oh, there is also the older mentor to Rose, Dmitri (Danila Kozlovsky), and the forbidden love between the two. FORBIDDEN!

It’s gonna be a cheese-fest. Nibble on these photos:

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Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • csb

    The Gugino photo is awesome and all, but that raccoon image is simply AM-AZ-ING.

  • Helo

    Carla Gugino still remains my trump card for any and every discussion about criminally overlooked hotties.

  • martin

    Does Neil Blomkamp's new movie sound like Short Circuit 2 to anyone else?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

    Someone cast offensive brownface Fisher Stevens right this second.

  • martin

    good heavens, no! I can't believe it's taken this long to reboot is all I'm sayin'.

  • firedmyass

    Any mention of Carla Gugino and, in my head, I'm running around in circles, banging a pot with a wooden spoon while chanting her name (like Ruprecht in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels).

  • ,

    Calling it an "event" doesn't make it anything other than a TV show.

    Just sayin'.

  • RilesSD

    Can they stop trying to make Chris Diamantopoulos happen? Between The Office and Arrested Development I'm over him. Although he did make a good Moe.

    Oh and Carla Gugino -- DAMMIT.

  • John W

    We have Vampire Diaries and now Vampire Academy let's see what else can we come up with....
    Vampire Driving School
    Vampire Glee Club
    Vampire Shark Week
    Two guys, A girl, and a Vampire
    Vampires (ala Cops)
    America's Next Top Vampire
    Queer as Vampires
    The V Word
    Breaking Vamp
    Game of Vampires
    Vampires Gone Wild
    Vampire Dynasty
    Dexter (about a Vampire who kills other Vampires)
    The Walking Undead
    It's Always Dark in Philadelphia
    Shit My Vampire says
    Vampire Town
    Two and Half Vampires
    Battlestar Vampirica

  • Sara_Tonin00

    can you pleeeeeeeease start a "Shit My Vampire Says" twitter account? I will join Twitter just to follow you.

  • emmalita

    This is a brilliant idea. You don't even have to think shit up, just get a few vampire books, open to random page and quote!

    Ex.: “His debtors always assumed he'd demand their firstborn. Like I'm fucking Rumpelstiltskin? What would Lothaire do with countless squalling babes? Raise them in a kennel?” — random quote from Mrs. J's favorite author Kresley Cole via GoodReads.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I love discovering a shout out a day later. I could have done without the traumatic flashback.

    "Am I wearing a wife beater Lisvetta? Oh, come on!" (Close enough)

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Do this! Or somebody send me ebooks of all these series and I'll do it.

  • emmalita

    Tell me where to send them! I think there are enough of us with shameful literature on our e-readers and shelves that we could help you twitter for years. I'm not joking. This is my serious face.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    shitmyvampiresays@gmail.com

    http://twitter.com/ShitVampire...

  • emmalita

    I'm following. I'll start sending you things. WooHoo! Productivity can kiss my ass!

  • I'm following.

  • Berry

    America's Next Top Vampire would be so amazing. Come on, who wouldn't want to watch a bunch of vampires go into hysterics because their hair is cut and bleached? Vampires learn about smizing! And, most important lesson of them all: how to pose so as to elongate your neck and avoid the dreaded "no-neck syndrome". That's some fierce television entertainment right there.

  • ,

    "Vampardy!"

  • emmalita

    I would totally watch some of those. Also, I'm so f'ing tired of vampires. I was just messaging with a writer I know and asked what she's working on - a vampire and werewolf love story. I cried, for real. So tired of vampires, and werewolves, and their romances.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I am not sure if I hate that writer for perpetuating the cycle, or admire that writer for cashing in while the getting is good.

    I was in England two years ago and couldn't believe that they had a paranormal romance section in whatever the big book chain is. I thought it was a stupid British thing at the time. Alas no.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Vampire the Vampire Slayer
    Parks and Vampires
    So You Think You Can Vamp (actually a music competition)

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Vamp Rock

  • ceebee_eebee

    That is my single favorite pic of Carla Gugino ever. And that's really saying something. Thank you for posting it, although I'm not sure I was able to absorb any of the information underneath it...

  • Were there words underneath?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Oh, Carla Gugino. You need to be in all the things. No requirements on wardrobe-- you'd still be perfection in a habit.

  • ceebee_eebee

    Have you seen Women in Trouble? Because yeah. She IS perfection in a habit.

  • emmalita

    Vampire Academy is a terrible series, but way, way better than Twilight and Mortal Instruments. (How do I know? I've read all three and I kind of hate myself for it). Rose is a much better heroine than the two twinks in the other books. She kicks butt, spends much too much time mooning over various boys, but still kicks butt. Way more Buffy than Bella.

  • NateMan

    On a somewhat related note, my wife and I watched Beautiful Creatures this weekend and, I have to say, it did not suck. It was much better than I expected it to be, mostly because of the great and sarcastic performances. The writing was complete crap, but I didn't hate it.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Wait, actual asskickery? Cool. I had just assumed that all YA book series were mostly about the girl having to choose between two different penises, and then secondarily about some conflict that as a practical matter requires very little effort or violence and mostly resolves itself via love/sex/babymaking.

    Twilight, clearly, has warped me.

    Related question (you seem to know things)-- are there just not very many boy-focused YA series out there, or do they just suck or something? I would suspect they might be sexist, but let's face it-- Twilight pretty well proves healthy, positive portrayals of women aren't a priority in the genre. So that wouldn't seem to be the problem. Are female readers just a more enthusiastic fanbase to draw from?

  • Fabius_Maximus

    YA fantasy for boys? Every generic fantasy series ever that is not specifically aimed at adults (like A Song of Ice and Fire).

  • IngridToday

    I'm surprised people are upset about having more female leads? Most of them are bunch of sad sacks that need to be rescued and spend their time pining over domineering assholes. People have compared the Bella/Edward relationship along with the couple from Fifty Shades of Grey and they meet the guidelines for abusive relationships.
    It's a weird effect of we're getting more female characters.... but they're in shitty relationships with guys who are control/distant assholes to them (Carrie and Big, Sookie and anyone).

  • emmalita

    It's true that there are some very popular sad sacks, which makes me weep for my gender and my culture, but there are some writers creating some really great female characters.

  • lowercase_ryan

    DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE!!!!!!!!!!

  • Berry

    I've only read the first book in the series, but it impressed me with its sensible attitude towards sex. Namely, that sex can be great, even though sometimes you do it with wrong people, but that won't lessen your value as human (or, well, demon) being, and you should learn from it and move on.

  • emmalita

    That's a great one!

  • emmalita

    No! There are some great YA books with nuanced portrayals of girls and women. Romance is often an element, but in the best books it's less about choosing between two penises. I would put Vampire Academy in the middle of the spectrum. Rose is first and foremost a fighter and her own agent. She is usually not waiting around for the boy to choose her. But she has a lot of over-wrought romantic entanglements and gets points taken off for some of the really stupid boy related decisions she makes. Also the writing isn't that great. For excellence in YA girl adventures check out Tamora Pierce and Kristen Cashore. I just read an excellent YA boy series - Megan Whalen Turner's The Queen's Thief series. There are others, but those are the ones that come to mind first.

    ETA: links
    The Thief: http://www.goodreads.com/book/...

    Graceling: http://www.goodreads.com/book/...

    Trickster's Choice: http://www.goodreads.com/book/...

    or

    First Test: http://www.goodreads.com/book/...

  • NateMan

    They're there, but from what I've seen they're vastly outnumbered on the bookshelves by the ones written mainly for teenage girls. Add to that the fact they've already proven the chick-oriented ones make a crapload of money, and that's why these keep moving forward.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    boys get movies, girls get books...I'll take that tradeoff.

  • NateMan

    Well yes, if that was the trade-off I'd agree you got the better end of it too. But do we really get the movies? Apart from the current spate of super-hero movies, which I'm not sure count, you ladies have gotten waaaaaay more young adult movies lately than we have. Twilight, Beautiful Creatures, Blood & Chocolate, Mortal Instruments, this Vampire Academy, etc. We got Percy Jackson series (and they sucked the life out of them) and Ender's Game (which I'd like to give back, please). Harry Potter I'd call pretty gender neutral.

    Now, we definitely get more video games, by a landslide.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Oh, I just meant that the default setting for movies is young male, hence "the current spate of super-hero movies." So, everything that made you so happily 'splodey this summer seems like a point for boys.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    So, yes, fundamentally point conceded. But some of the guys would like a little more variety. Alex Rider's kicking around out there, just waiting to be rebooted without a douche-y blond kid in the role, for instance. I'm still waiting on Artemis Fowl. And, um... Okay, so I vaguely outgrew YA and I'm lacking on examples-- but, you know, it'd be nice if we could score some other things apart from superheroes.

    Just don't use Fast and Furious entries as examples of boy movies. That's equally as much for the ladies (all the eye candy) as the guys (some of the eye candy, but then also the vroom boom(tm))-- if anything it's targeted to a certain IQ level (middling).

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I was going to make some sort of "this comment is based on the most traditional gender assumptions" but I didn't.

    Here's something, in the book category - you rarely hear (or maybe just I rarely hear) about non-genre books for teen boys. There is "great" literature, like Catcher in the Rye - but where the books like that being written today? Girls have books about high school life, and cliques, and dealing with crappy parents or high expections - basic contemporary fiction. I don't really see that on bookshelves for boys. Is there no market? Or just the assumption of no market?

  • Berry

    There was The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexia from few years back. And she's not exactly writing today, but S.E. Hinton's books are mainly about teen boys, although I'm not sure I'd say they're "for" them. I think John Green's books often have boy protagonists. Does The Curious Incident of a Dog in Night-Time count as YA?

    I remember reading quite a bit of the so called "problem literature" in my teens, and it was often pretty specifically, even problematically, aimed at girls, tackling things like rape and teen pregnancies or even just sibling rivalries. But there were also boy versions of those books. One in particular springs to mind, about a high-school alcoholic. But maybe people no longer write books like that, for girls or for boys. Or at least they don't make waves like your next vampire love story or dystopian future trilogies do.

    ETA It also occurred to me just now that sometimes, maybe even often, books with adolescent male protagonists default to adult realistic fiction instead of YA, because of sex, drugs and violence (and rock'n roll). Take Junot Diaz for for example. He writes about young men and boys, cliques, crappy parents, etc. but he's not YA, and trying to smuggle him into a high-school reading list would probably not be the best idea ever.

  • NateMan

    That is indeed a fair point. Okay, we do maybe win in that respect.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    As a practical matter, wouldn't something half-human be more vulnerable and probably worthy of extermination (operating on Harry Potterian theories of blood purity) than what is apparently like, a full vampire who just happens to be whatever mortal means in that context?

    Just, at first glance that's how it would seem, is all. I'm assuming the non-half human vampires are probably competing for the same blood resources or something while the half human ones maybe don't need as much or something. And that's too much thought put into something I won't see until it crops up on ABC Family on the boringest Sunday ever.

  • Three_nineteen

    You're way past me. I'm still stuck on the fact that a vampire and a human had a baby together. What the fuck has happened to vampires?

  • NateMan

    Maybe it's a cross-species thing, like the way 2 closely-related species in the animal kingdom can sometimes interbreed and create a stronger offspring.

    Of course, they'd be more likely to create a mule, but let's not bring logic into it.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Dhampirs are pretty much my favorite vampire. They're bred for their skills in magic.

  • emmalita

    There's a very long explanation that I don't remember, but it's basically that the half human vampires are more expendable. This is what happens when you hang out with teen girls professionally - you start reading their crappy books and then discussing them.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    So they're so easy to kill that they're like, "Um, fuck, how about you make us actually worthwhile vampires play nice? Give you something to do before you die a violent death or whatever."

  • emmalita

    Something like that and I refuse (!!!!) to actually look it up, because more of those books have been written since I quit them and I don't want to get sucked back in.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Totally fair enough.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Wayward Pines sounds an awful lot like Twin Peaks... I will have to read the book!

    ... I say read... I mean listen... you know I can't read or write...

  • Wild Rumpus

    Twin Peaks, Wild Palms, Wayward Pines, Facetious Firs. You get the idea.

    "That's why our trees are so big, they're full of secrets."

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Picket Fences.

  • sanity fair

    The whole time I was reading that description, I was thinking, "So Shyamalan is trying to remake 'Twin Peaks'? I MAY check out the show, but I'm definitely intrigued by the book!"

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I am upvoting you for your handle, which I haven't seen around these parts before. Carry on.

  • IngridToday

    If it's anything like "Last Airbender" it won't look like anything like Twin Peaks or the book.

    The only way I'd go to a theater to see a Shyamalan movie is if someone else paid, aside from that I may shell out the dollar for a Redbox rental, but, considering he's made some of the worst movies in the past decade, I doubt it'll be any good.

  • JenVegas

    vampires shouldn't need glasses.

  • phase10

    They're probably the hipster kind with no lenses.

  • DeistBrawler

    That picture of Gugino just made my goddamn morning.

    I'm going to go to the gym and lift everything.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Yah, I saw that picture and then did all my lifting within 5 minutes. I make no apologies.

  • NateMan

    1. I've heard good things about Wayward Pines - the book, not the series. But haven't read it yet.
    2. That header pic is an awesome view.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Such beautiful hills...and the background is nice too.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Warner Bros: "We need our superhero movies to be grounded in reality."
    Marvel: "Whatever. Here's a raccoon with a machine gun."

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I was hoping that was a joke gif...?

  • MichaelEhrgott

    Perfectly sums it up.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Oh, the hair in that last picture.

  • Anne At Large

    I know, that dude is aiming for "low-rent Snape" and I'm not sure he made it. But he has way better hair than I do.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    combined with the black turtleneck I feel like he's going for the James-Spader-80s-douche look. Ah! I know who he reminds me of - the potentially date-raping boyfriend in Uncle Buck. Just add beret.

  • Berry

    Even low rent Snapes should know better than to use all that shampoo and conditioner. A Snape with shiny hair? Well, I never!

  • qivucuzusywa

    мy coυѕιɴ ιѕ мαĸιɴɢ $51/нoυr oɴlιɴe. υɴeмployed ғor α coυple oғ yeαrѕ αɴd prevιoυѕ yeαr ѕнe ɢoт α $1З619cнecĸ wιтн oɴlιɴe joв ғor α coυple oғ dαyѕ. ѕee мore αт...­ ­ViewMore----------------------...

    That is my single favorite pic of
    Carla Gugino ever. And that's really saying something. Thank you for
    posting it, although I'm not sure I was able to absorb any of the
    information underneath it...

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