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Biz Break: Johnny Depp Has Only Begun to Sell Out, and Louis C.K. Joins a Prestige Ensemble

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | January 14, 2013 | Comments ()


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David O. Russell's next film is a period drama previously/currently called American Bullsh*t. The cast already boasts Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Jeremy Renner and Amy Adams, but Russell is in talks to have Louis C.K. play an FBI agent in the film. What exactly is the film about? An artist, Mel Weinberg, works with the FBI to alleviate corruption from Atlantic City to D.C. The Eric Singer (The International) script will begin production in February and looks to be released late this year.

That's a normal schedule of filming to release, wouldn't you say? Then you have something like G.I. Joe: Retaliation that some people (or just me) keep thinking has already been released. Originally set for June 29th, 2012, the movie has had re-shoots, rumors of more Charming Potato being added, an entirely new cast, and will now be in theaters March 29th of this year. Supposedly **SPOILER ALERT MAYBE** Channing Tatum is killed off in the first act with the rest of the Joes from the first movie. Then Bruce "BE IN ALL THE THINGS" Willis, Dwayne Johnson, Adrianne Palicki, Walton Goggins, Ray Stevenson, D.J. Cotrona, and the returning Ray Park can get their revenge or, as some call it, retaliation, on Cobra. 3D conversion is the given reason for the delay, but I have suspicions because of the re-shoots. At least it can't be worse than G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, right?

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Speaking of sequels, Jeff Nathanson (Catch Me If You Can) is writing the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Johnny Depp and Jerry Bruckheimer are producing and Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow is returning as well. Other than that, there are no details about returning cast or a plot. Depp is also attached to Mortimer Wintergreen, a film based loosely on a novel set in the 1890s called "The Magic Hat of Mortimer Wintergreen" Two siblings run away from their terrible aunt and encounter the title character Mortimer Wintergreen. Wintergreen possesses a magical hat. The script is being written by Jack Thorne ("Skins") for Warner Brothers and if Depp likey then he may well take on the starring role. I smell strange hair and an even stranger voice for Depp!

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Now I move back to sequels with the news of a direct-to-video (DVD? Blu-ray? On Demand?) Fright Night 2, starring none of the original actors and taking place in Romania. There will also be direct-to-video on demand A Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia, starring Chad Michael Murray. It's a haunting in Connecticut but in Georgia? Or someone wrote the script and it was decided they would tack on the established movie's name. I think that's probably what happened. Gross. Stop it.

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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • Groundloop

    "At least it can’t be worse than G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, right?"

    Your hope warms me.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Her naivete astounds me.

  • apsutter

    What is going on in Johnny Depp's mind? It looked like he was going to have an incredible career making sophisticated movies around the turn of the century but he instead decided to make pure shit for large paychecks. I mean, how much money does one need to feel fulfilled? I wish he'd just give up the partying and boozing and get back to making good movies.

  • BlackRabbit

    I am happy about the Fright Night sequel, just cause I loved the reboot one.

  • Green_Eggs_and_Hamster

    You saw the bit about it containing none of the original actors and being set in Romania, right? I mean I liked the re-boot too, but I don't think that has anything to do with my potential enjoyment of this movie.

  • BlackRabbit

    *Sigh* That's true, I missed that. I was still thinking about haunted vaginas. There's a hashtag someone's missing out on....

  • Buck Forty

    I actually watched Lost Boys 3 the other week, it had been hiding in my DVR for a while. It was hilarious. It still had Corey Feldman, but was shot in South Africa...

  • Protoguy

    Johnny Depp. Brilliant idiot, gifted hack. The Pirates franchise was a shitty parody of itself from the first sequel, as was Johnny's Sparrow. Go away.

  • Buck Forty

    Your anger is misdirected. You should be mad at the people that are forcing you to buy a ticket and watch it.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Producer: "Hi Mr. Depp, thanks for meeting with us. We've got a script here that we'd like you to take a look at - we think it's..."

    Depp: "Do I get to wear a funny hat?"

    Producer: "Well yes, but if you wouldn't mind readin..."

    Depp: "I'm IN!" **flips scarf over shoulder, skips out of room**

  • Mrs. Julien

    Are you the artist formerly know as "Bert the Pajibian"?

  • Bert_McGurt

    Why yes I am! I modified things when I started using Disqus on more than one website.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Thanks! I'll update my EE stats accordingly.

    Good to know you're still around!

    Subject: [jiba] Re: Biz Break: Johnny Depp Has Only Begun to Sell Out, and Louis C.K. Joins a Prestige Ensemble

  • Bert_McGurt

    Well thanks! I ain't even thinking of leaving, so Pajiba's going to be stuck with me for some time.

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: the only film franchise sure to make you more sick and disoriented than the amusement park ride it was based on.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    It still doesn't beat Transformers: the film franchise that makes its merchandise look sophisticated in comparison.

  • The Other Agent Johnson

    There will also be direct-to-video on demand A Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia, starring Chad Michael Murray. It’s a haunting in Connecticut but in Georgia?

    From what I understand, it's a reference to Georgia O'Keefe. It's actually a film about infamous Norwich Vagina Hauntings of 1958.

  • Kballs

    Wait, I thought ALL vaginas were haunted.

    *searches Wikipedia*

    Yep, I was right.

  • The Other Agent Johnson

    This is sort of the spiritual successor to Teeth, only with more [punchline deleted].

  • Kballs

    I'll help you out . . .

    This is sort of the spiritual successor to Teeth, only with more VAGINAL HAUNTERY.

  • BlackRabbit

    Must combine for snappiness. Vagihaunts! They can rework the "female Expendables" into "female Ghostbusters".

  • Kballs

    And the heroic group can be called the Vaginauts. Let it be written . . .

  • BlackRabbit

    There's a snappy poem there.

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