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Biz Break: Jane Got A Gun Continues Its Slow Descent Into Clusterf*ck Hell As Bradley Cooper Nopes Right Out.

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | May 2, 2013 | Comments ()


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Let's play catch up with the drama, shall we? Natalie Portman is producing and starring in Jane Got A Gun. Portman is playing Jane Hammond, a woman who is forced to protect herself and her home from a band of outlaws pursuing her husband. Jane turns to an ex-lover she hasn't seen in 10 years to help her protect against the outlaws out to finish off her husband. Every source I've looked at has conflicting character names and different actors being set for the roles, but I can tell you that Michael Fassbender was originally set to play the ex-lover, Joel Edgerton was to be the outlaw husband, and Lynne Ramsay was directing. Fassbender dropped out of production, Edgerton moved into the ex-lover role, and Jude Law became the outlaw husband.

THEN, Lynne Ramsay dropped out of the production, Jude Law followed suit, and Gavin O'Conner took over directorial duties. Noah Emmerich took on the outlaw husband role, Edgerton stayed put, and Bradley Cooper took on the role of the leader of the outlaws (I think). Seriously, one site says Law was the husband and another says the outlaw leader and I've typed this over four times and I'm still confused. THE POINT IS COOPER IS OUT. If the set is half as confusing as attempting to figure out who was supposed to play which role, I completely understand dropping out. Maybe listen to the universe, Jane Got A Gun, and give up. I AM.
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Less confusing is the news of Daniel Radcliffe snagging the lead role in Tokyo Vice. The movie will follow Radcliffe's reporter as he locks horns with a yakuza crime boss. It's based on the true story of Jake Adelstein and his experiences with crime boss Tamadasa Goto. You can start reading up on the true bits via Wikipedia, if you like.

Apparently I can't help giving you news that induces furious rage inside of my tiny body. Kelsey Grammer will play the bad guy in Transformers 4. He joins Mark Wahlberg and Stanley Tucci in the sh*tty franchise's reboot/sequel. Grammer will play Harold Attinger, a counter intelligence agent who is a dickbag. Here's hoping one of the Transformers accidentally unloads all of its coolant on his head.

I don't think I can handle anymore news today, youse guys. Since I didn't provide it yesterday, I'll end on the much-requested CapAss gif.
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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • e jerry powell

    BOOTAY!

    Also, how is the emu gonna do anything under that perm?

  • KatSings

    I think I reviewed Tokyo Vice for CBR. I know I read and loved it, at any rate.

  • George

    No, We need Tom winking.

  • delle

    Why not both? Universally exploding ovaries?

  • Every day i wake up knowing that I am the kind of person who will go and see Trans4mers (come on people!) and then I have to go about my day like that's just OK or something.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    YAY! CapAss gif!

    So if the only consistency in Jane Got a Gun is Natalie Portman producing and starring... something tells the problem is her...?

  • toblerone

    Kelsey Grammer will play a dickbag in Transformers 4.

    Isn't "dickbag" a term that could apply to every role Grammer has played and most of the characters in the Transformers series (sans Autobots)?

  • koko temur

    If someone would teach me how to attach gifs from my cell, i will take it as my life mission to attach the CapAss to every thread related to avengers/chris evans/marvel universe (or on tough days).
    Tough job, but somebody need to be CapAss-Cap around here.

  • koko temur

    I wholly approve this message.

  • BendinIntheWind

    Considering that The White House has already responded to a citizen petition regarding the Death Star, I see no reason why we shouldn't mount our own campaign to legally require every blog post to end with this GIF.

    28th AMENDMENT! LET'S DO IT, AMERICA! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

  • Drake

    I lose 10 minutes to that gif every time it appears. And I enjoy every one of them.

  • VonnegutSlut

    I wish this production would get its shit together because I do so love a really good Western and this premise sounds intriguing.

    I guess I'll just go watch Tombstone again.

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