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Biz Break: Even My Irrational Love Of Jessica Simpson Won't Make Me Watch Her Act

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | January 16, 2013 | Comments ()


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That's right. I don't really like Anne Hathaway, but I will forever hold a soft spot in my heart (head?) for Jessica Simpson. I have no idea what it is about Simpson. Either she is a very shrewd businesswoman, building her empire of shoes, bags, and clothes, or she has someone on staff that keeps her making money. She also gets to take lots of vacations and can be kind of a dolt. She would be so fun to shop and have a girl's day out with and I could teach her about the English language.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah! NBC has decided to give Simpson her own television show. The scripted television show, written by Nick Bakay (Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Zookeeper), will be semi-autobiographical. If that doesn't have you squealing in pain and despair, know that one of the producers involved thinks Simpson is "truly a modern-day Lucy with incredible comedic chops". Oh, honey. No. If we were besties I could talk you out of this. Your loss. Well, it's sort of a loss for all of us.

Let's move on to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje talking about his roles in Thor: The Dark World. He will be playing Algrim and Kurse, the villain(s) of the sequel.

Meanwhile, Joss Whedon is preparing to destroy our hearts with Avengers 2. The man threatens says, "All of these people have met, so you have that out of the way. Now you can spend your time just digging in -- and by digging in, I mean with a scalpel, to cause pain."

Please, Whedon. We can't take much more. WHY DO YOU WANT TO HURT US? WHYYYY?

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Finally, because interesting news is kind of scarce today, Emma Stone is in talks to star in Guillermo del Toro's Crimson Peak. You may recall that this is del Toro's ode to the haunted house genre, set at the turn of the century. I approve!

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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • Idle Primate

    its her big ol anime eyes. like bovine adorableness

  • Nadine

    Oh my god I have the most absolute terror that Ruffalo's absolutely adorable and heartbreaking Bruce Banenr is going to get hurt. SO HELP ME WHEDON, i WILL MAKE YOU SORRY.

  • Tinkerville

    "...a modern-day Lucy..."

    Are they talking about the same Lucy I'm thinking of? No. Can't be. No. No way.
    *cries*

  • Mrs. Julien

    I hate Lucy!

  • SeaKat Stabler

    I can read these words but I am afraid that they do not make sense all put together like this.

    Nope. Not a whit.

  • Tinkerville

    You.. YOU MONSTER!

  • Mrs. Julien

    I always have. I remember watching an episode of her show when I was twelve and thinking "this is bullsh*t". I was offended by the sexism AT THE AGE OF 12!
    Subject: [jiba] Re: Biz Break: Even My Irrational Love Of Jessica Simpson Won't Make Me Watch Her Act

  • Natallica

    Now, that's enough, miss Stone. We've put up with this nonsense long enough. Who do we have to kill to make you go back to being ginger?

  • ,

    She gets a lifetime pass from me for doing a Pizza Hut commercial with the Muppets.

    That said, wasn't her last effort at "acting" a movie that grossed, like, $64?

  • BBB40

    Turn of which century?

  • Kballs

    All of them!

  • BiblioGlow

    Your enthusiasm, sir, is infectious.

  • poopnado

    J Simp is a boobalicious fart machine. I would love to hang out with her. I will totally watch the pilot of this show...while incredibly wasted.

  • KatSings

    I approve of any trade news that involves Emma Stone getting more work. I love her.

  • theotherone

    Seconded, but I miss the Olive Penderghast version. Please let Gwen Stacy die quickly so we can have her back.

  • Your love is not irrational. Jessica is obviously genuinely sweet and self-depracating. She's also very pretty and sexy and probably a lot of fun to hang out with. So yea, I love her too but watch her act? Not on yer life.

  • oilybohunk7

    I met her when she stayed at the hotel I worked at, she was a lot friendlier and more polite than a lot of the famous people I met.

  • lowercase_ryan

    She always kind of struck me as genuine too. Genuinely dumb and genuinely unconcerned with the fact.

  • John G.

    I don't know about "fun to hang out with".

  • Eh, I just mean in a girly 'omg look at that Chanel bag!', gossip and eat a lot of pie kind of way. You wouldn't understand. Unless you're a girl named John. In which case, apologies.

  • theotherone

    Ditto... She is borderline Hate F$%k. Talking is not her strong suit.

  • Wōđanaz Óðinn

    Deep and meaningful conversations abound.

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