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Biz Break: Dear Millennials: If Anyone Ever Tells You That Your Generation is the Worst, Show Them This Video and Tell Them to go F--- Themselves

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | August 6, 2013 | Comments ()


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  • Christopher McQuarrie, who has a hit and miss record as a screenwriter (The Usual Suspects, The Tourist) is set to direct Mission Impossible 5. His last stab at directing was Jack Reacher, an immensely serviceable Tom Cruise flick, which is likely what we can expect from MI: 5.

  • I’m not particularly stoked that director Gil Kenan (Monster House) is remaking Poltergeist, although I have rewatched it in my adulthood and found it to be laughably unscary. However, the fact that they have cast two of my favorite people — Rosemarie Dewitt and now Sam Rockwell — ensures that I will at least show up to support those two.

    The Weinsteins are cutting 20 minutes from their international release of Chris Evans either because 1) the Weinsteins think we’re too dumb to watch a movie that is 20 minutes longer (the Twitchfilm argument) or 2) the film is actually better edited down.

  • Meanwhile, Josh Gad is the latest actor to be attached to a Larry Charles’ long-gestating Sam Kinison biopic. The previous attachee was Dan Fogler, who — like Gad — is a celebrated Broadway actor who is terribly obnoxious (intentionally, and less so) on both the big and small screen. To be fair, Kinson had his obnoxious moments, too, like — for instance — his music video for “Wild Thing.”

    The nostalgia (and shame) is overwhelming. The 80s! Where rock stars stood and watched a busty woman (Jessica Hahn) writhe around in a pit.

    Dear Millennials: If anyone ever tells you that your generation is the worst, show them this video and tell them to go f*ck themselves.

    Yes, of course, the fact that E! is developing an unscripted series inspired by Rich Kids of Instagram is terrible and obnoxious and a sure sign of the apocalypse, but at least it doesn’t involve a grown man yelling about trampy ex-girlfriends and simulating sex acts on a woman famous for a sex scandal with a televangelist while other grown men stand around, laugh, rock out on their guitars. Oh, but sure, the fact that Mumford and Sons is way earnest so much more appalling, right?

    Jesus, what the f*ck was wrong with us?



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    Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


    • mb

      I was born in 1982 and I've always felt shafted with regards to the whole generation game. Gen Xers say I'm a Millenial, Millenials say I'm a Gen Xer. I JUST WANT TO BELONG!

    • Daniel Lewis

      Millennial X!

    • Frankly

      I was 17 when that video came out. Every woman in every video basically looked like that (unless you were watching "120 Minutes") so that whole part of it didn't phase me. I did, however, like seeing all the rock stars together, because it harkened back to the "Battle of the Network Stars" specials of my youth.

    • llp

      Battle of the Networks Stars - YES.

    • e jerry powell

      Bill Hicks was much less embarrassing (and wittier).

    • clancys_daddy

      All the best parts of the 80's in one video babes, drugs, alcohol, and rock and roll, thanks. Millennials it's not that I am old it's that your music really does suck.

    • Al Borland's Beard

      Every time someone tells me my generation is the worst, I shrug my shoulders and continue posting pictures of my lunch on Instagram.

    • Alberto Cox Délano

      It's not that the (U.S.) millenial generation is the worst, is that they should be doing something by now. Look at your Everywhere-Else-In-The-World-Counterparts and start getting pissed. Seriously, whatever Matisyahu said, do that.

    • sean

      Well, a large part of that is that the generations in front of them haven't retired or died. In the rest of the world, retirees are given decent government pensions to live on. They can actually retire in their 50s, opening lots of jobs for younger workers. Here, 10s of millions of people can't afford to retire, and don't. This leaves workers like me(mid 40s)stuck in the middle, with no way to move up. This leaves those in their 20s/early 30s stuck at low level jobs. With nowhere to go.

    • Alberto Cox Délano

      Yeah, but I'm not talking about jobs. Even where there are places with decent social welfare there are problems with youth employment. That's hardly the first issue with the U.S. There's the growing and critical income disparity, the student debts (in most European countries, your degree might not be useful but at least you don't have to pay much for it), the erosion of the public system, crappy political system, etc, etc. Your millenials should be doing something about that, so what's up? Where are the massive street demonstrations, the student's strikes and so forth? We should know, we have the same exact problems, but at least we are giving it a go at changing studf instead of just complaining about the stupid right-wingers.

    • chanohack

      "If" "anyone?" I hear this shit on a daily basis. (I'm friends with a lot of Republicans that are just BARELY older than me.)

    • Lovely Bones

      The real generational question is what the hell are we going to call those born past 2000 or so. I for one don't care, after all, they're the worst generation yet!

    • Guest

      I think they're called Generation Z

    • kushiro -

      There`s nothing wrong with Millenials. I know this because I saw this thing where Katie Couric was wondering about them, so she asked everyday normal young person Katherine Schwarzenegger (Arnold`s daughter) to sit down with a bunch of them and ask them their opinions about themselves. Turns out they`re doing great!

    • Wigamer

      As a Gen-Xer, I would gladly trade helicopter parents for all the stepfathers and stepmothers I got to enjoy.

    • BWeaves

      Go read some of the ancient Greek texts where they talk about the younger generation being the worst ever. Some things NEVER change.

    • Socrates

      Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.

    • True_Blue

      I wonder if ancient Greek parents told their kids how when _they_ were young, they had fight the barbarians naked armed only with forks (so you kids have it so good).

    • BWeaves

      One of my favorites is an ancient Sumerian tablet in cuneiform writing. It is 4000 years old. It is a conversation between a father and son.

      Father: Where have you been?

      Son: Nowhere.

      Father: Then why are you late?

    • BiblioGlow

      I want to nominate this for EE on behalf of that 4000 year old writer.

    • Daniel Lewis

      I can never get a straight answer on this. I was born in 1984. Am I a millennial?

    • Cazadora

      Here are the standardized age ranges that we researchers use:

      Born after 1980 = Millenials
      1965-1980 = Gen x
      1946-1964 = Boomer
      1928-1945 = Silent (yes, that's the official name)

    • onegapingmaw

      I was born right on the 1980 cusp, but I think I'm going to co-opt Daniel's "Millennial X" because of fantastic superhero connotations.

      Used to try to say "Gen XY", but that just made me feel like I should be missing a belly button.

    • Daniel Lewis

      Happy to help

    • bonnie

      I was also born in 1984, and I would argue no. But I'd also argue that those of us born in the early-to-mid 80s are too young to identify with the Gen-Xers, as well. It's an awkward era for us!

    • Lovely Bones

      That's right at the edge between the end of X and beginning of Millennials, so it depends on what you identify with more, the aimlessness and apathy that generally defines Generation X*, or the Millennials' optimistic attitude tinged with immense frustration over inheriting all of the shit that Boomers have done to this world.

      *Not to make any negative comments on individuals of the generation, especially not the various that frequent this site, of course.

      Edit: Oh god I was acknowledged by Dustin I don't know what to do my whole brain is crying

    • Daniel Lewis

      Based on your description, I consider myself a hybrid. Millennial X!

    • Wigamer

      Hey, the Gen-Xers are the MOST screwed, because we inherited the Boomers themselves. And their entitled asses are not fun to deal with, as they are really whiny and in denial about getting old.

    • Lovely Bones

      I have the luck of Boomer parents that are actually pretty good people, albeit they both are annoying at times and still wear their generation on their sleeves. I love 'em to death anyway.

    • Wigamer

      I'm glad you have some sane Boomer parents! Mine seemed to fall prey to every single bad stereotype of the generation, but clearly it's all anecdotal.

    • Daniel Lewis

      Yeah, my parents just made the cutoff to be Boomers

    • Kind of? I don't know. I was born in 1984, too. My sister was born in 1988 and I definitely feel like she's more of a Millenial than I am but I'm also too young to be Gen X. There's definitely a weird middle ground for those of us born in the early 80s.

    • Genevieve Burgess

      If you want to be? I was born in 1986 and I definitely identify with more cultural markers of "Millenials" than Gen X or whatever was supposed to be happening right before. Kurt Cobain died when I was in elementary school, I had my first email address at 9, and never watched "My So Called Life." I feel like there's also a specific intersection with graduating high school or college smack dab into the middle of the economic bust, but that's less well-defined.

    • vdo86

      I'm out of the loop here. What's the last-ish paragraph referring to? Televangelists? Mumford and Sons?

    • True_Blue

      As a Gen-Xer, let me explain it to you--the busty woman in the video, Jessica Hahn, was at one time a church secretary (really). She was paid off by her boss, a married televangelist named Jim Bakker after they had sex (she said it was rape). To keep her quiet, Bakker paid her off using church cash, which was just one of many scandals which blew up in Bakker's face (and sent him to jail). Jessica went on to have a boob job, posed nude, and had a brief career as D-grade celebrity (see the video).

      On a related note, look up Jim's wife, Tammy Bakker's photo--you can use it to scare little kids.

      As for Mumford and Sons--I have no idea.

    • Bedewcrock

      Thank you for that. I thought she was the lady (Tawny Kitaen) who dry humped a muscle car for Whitesnake.*

      *I only know this from VH1's Best 80s Videos. She was a real tool when interviewed.

    • Some Guy

      On the upside of the scandal, it did lead to a hilarious skit on SNL with Phil Hartman and Jan Hooks as the duo, in Jan's case, complete with the fake tears and melting eyeliner.

    • Fredo

      Don't worry, Millenials. Boomers said the same thing about Gen-Xers. Greatest Generation said the same thing about Boomers. And the parents of the Greatest Generation said the same thing about them. It's part of life: the folks before you must declare you the "End of Society as We Know It!"

      The ironic thing is, they're right.

    • Dragonchild

      Actually the only generation I'm aware of that draws universal ire is the Baby Boomers. Not that there aren't bad examples among Gen X, GI Gen or Millenials, but the Boomers were given more than any other and did so little with it. They inherited the most powerful nation in the world and spent thirty years gutting it for self-indulgence, pissing away the rest, spent the whole time complaining about first-world drama and STILL have the gall to blame others for their colossal failures. The GI Generation took us to the Moon; now we don't have a manned space program at all. Now they're pulling up the ladder their parents gave them out of spite.

      Gen X wallows in sociopathic apathy, but at least it's not delusional. Millenials are still growing up; I think their parents tried hard to mess them up but they're in better shape than the media thinks. But man, EVERYONE hates the Boomers -- except maybe the retail industry.

    • Cazadora

      Well, dear, as a boomer I'm going to have to call you on your very selective memory. Don't forget that the Silent Generation (also misleadingly called "Greatest"), got us in 3 different wars, and multiple recessions during the 70's. Also, as you type into your computer, while cruising the internet and calling all your best buds on your cell phone, you might want to give a shout out to the folks who developed that tech. Additionally, all that "selfishness" that you ascribe to us went towards some of the greatest social change the world has ever seen, from sex to civil rights.

      No long lived generation is ever going to be completely innocent, and I doubt seriously if yours will end up that way either.

      Oh, and p.s. you seem to be attributing the financial crisis to an entire generation rather than the poor decision making of a few in power. Like Alan Greenspan -- born in 1926.

    • IngridToday

      I guess it depends if you'd rather have our generation of self-centered privileged children versus the Baby Boomers old timey racism, sexism, antisemitism, and homophobia.
      It's like whenver people argue the 1950's were the Golden Age for American values.... and legal segregation

    • Genevieve Burgess

      I am a Millenial and I approve this reinforcement of my own sense of superiority. Excuse me, I have to go post amusing cat gifs I stole off Instagram to my tumblr from my parent's basement now.

    • AgLexington

      You ARE superior, duh. Just ask your helicopter parents who reside above you and constantly reassure you that you ARE their precious baby angel face and can do no wrong.

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