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Biz Break: Bay's 'TMNT' Heroes Will Look Like Squishy-Faced Alien Garbage

By Jodi Smith | Trade News | January 29, 2014 | Comments ()

By Jodi Smith | Trade News | January 29, 2014 |


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A few sites got their claws on photos of the final designs for Michael Bay’s alien-spawned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I guess the studio realized that they looked like sh*t and they quickly insisted all the images be removed. Latino Review, however, grabbed this photo of the Turtles from a toy expo display. They look very similar to that horrible Halloween costume that was leaked last week, don’t they?

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They look like a Goomba from the Super Mario Bros movie sexed up The Lizard from The Amazing Spider-Man and then one of them dropped the eggs into a bucket of Axe body spray to ferment until they hatched. You know I’m right.

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In less smoosh-faced news, Seth Rogen and writing partner Evan Goldberg have penned an R-rated animated feature called Sausage Party. It’s the ageless story of a sausage that falls out of a grocery cart and attempts to journey back to his aisle. Voicing the characters that populate this tale as old as time are Rogen, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, David Krumholtz, Edward Norton, Nick Kroll, and Kristen Wiig.

Finally, Bruce Willis and M. Night Shyamalan are re-teaming for another movie! Wait. It’s not the late 90s/early 00s anymore and I don’t care that the duo will likely work together on Labor of Love. The script was one of the first that Shyamalan ever sold and focuses on a widower (Willis) in Philadelphia that wants to keep his promise to walk across the country in honor of his wife. No, really. That’s the synopsis. It sounds awful.


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