Billy Crystal Set to Host Oscars! Apathy Reigns! Apathy Reigns!
Come back, Brett Ratner!
Is Crystal a good Oscar host? Oh, sure: He's fine. This will be his eleventy billionth time to host, and you remember how great he was all those other times, right? No? You don't remember. Me neither. He's a completely unmemorable host. He's safe. He plays from the Don Rickles playbook, minus the racism. He's amiable, a nice guy, and he won't offend anyone or ruffle any feathers. My feathers were looking forward to a good ruffling.
So, there you have it. Billy Crystal will host the second most-watched telecast of the year. Do you care? No, I don't care either. But I bet your grandmother is stoked.