Bill & Ted 3 Is Happening. No, I Don't Know Why. Probably Because You Won't Stop Touching It.
Welcome back to the world of sequels that absolutely no one asked for. Seriously, a new Bill and Ted movie? Who wanted that? Was it you? It was you, wasn't it, you worthless gibbering shitfucker. God, I hate you.
The thing is, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure is really more of a time capsule than a movie. It's ridiculously stupid, but for many of us, it's a snapshot of time and space. The second one was already unnecessary though, and this? This is just dumb.
The good news is that there's some talent attached to it -- Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves are returning (OK, so I'm using "talent" loosely), and Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson -- the original writers -- have finished a script. Now, word breaks that Dean Parisot has been signed to direct. Parisot has some skill at directing screwball comedies with some heart and brains -- he also directed the phenomenally underrated Galaxy Quest.
Of course, he also directed Fun With Dick And Jane. Hey, no one bats a thousand.
Anyway, yeah. Bill and Ted 3 is happening. Commence mocking title suggestions.... now! I'm going with Bill And Ted's Cash-Grabbing Exercise In Fucking Futility.