free counter with statistics Big Momma's House 3 in Development | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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He's Big. He's Black. He's a Woman. And He's Sapping My Will to Live

Kill Me. Kill Me Dead / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | September 3, 2009 | Comments (33)

I don’t even know why I’m sharing this news. Nobody needs to know this. Nobody is going to be sharing this news with their friends and family. No one is going to brag of their knowledge. No one will keep it in their brains any longer than it takes you to read this piece. You’ll completely forget about it until the trailer, two years from now, and then you will find some pillowed bosom to hide in until the apocalypse ends.

But here it is, all the same: Randi Mayem Singer (Mrs. Doubtfire) is returning to the conceit that made him a name no one knows. No: There’s not a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel, because not even Robin Williams would stoop that low. No. Singer is penning a script for Big Momma’s House 3.

Why? It’s pretty easy, really. Because the first two movies made nearly $200 million combined, domestically, and because — save for Wild Hogs and the Bad Boys movies — they are the biggest hits on Martin Lawrence’s resume. Dude’s gotta do something, besides Wild Hogs 2, of course (due in 2011). Martin Lawrence hasn’t signed on yet, but come on. What choice does he have? And if he doesn’t, well, there’s always Tracy Morgan.

Plot details are being kept under wraps for national security purposes.


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Comments

Posted by: Jay at September 3, 2009 7:04 PM

Tyler Perry's Big Momma's House Three: Madea's Big Fat Clam Bake.

Bow-chika-wow-wow.

Posted by: admin at September 3, 2009 7:10 PM

*Reads link*

"big-mommas-house-3-in-development"

*gathers rage*

...

*Punches Dustin in the ear*

Fuck that don't-kill-the-messenger shit. You've had it coming for some time Rowles.

Posted by: Bistro at September 3, 2009 7:11 PM

Best. Birthday. Ever.

Posted by: TSF at September 3, 2009 7:13 PM

If that link had revealed a kitten smoothie post on ICHC, I might have shat myself.

Posted by: laredo at September 3, 2009 7:17 PM

Dustin asked me to kill him, not a cat.

Such a lot of fuss over a kitten in a blender pitcher. Please.

Posted by: Jay at September 3, 2009 7:59 PM

If you were wondering what came from the backside of the last person in the great human centipede chain, question answered.

...JesusMaryandJoseph-opus that sentence would seem wierd in isolation

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at September 3, 2009 8:03 PM

unfortunately my young sisters bought me the original early in the noughts... Im pretty sure its wrong to blame them for that matter they say it was their first attempt to actually "think" about what to buy me... im sure they figured i enjoy comedy and well whats better than watching it die...

but in all seriousness im welling up while chewing my way through a baguette at the thought of someone paying martin lawrence... im a pacifist that doesnt believe in capital punishment or the use of firearms... but with people like martin lawrence alive there are uses for these idiocies.

Why oh why america does this guy have a career? He is neither witty, smart, clever, good looking, idiotic enough to release a sex tape or a legitimate screen presence to convince the world he is memorable...

I hope to god it isnt down to domestic returns because even though i dont believe in god i believe if he does exist domestic dollars are some of the dumbest spent worldwide... and the least profitable.

Posted by: jim of the lower case at September 3, 2009 8:10 PM

Nope! I’m not going waste my race card by using it to defend Martin Lawrence and his shitty movies. I’m going to use it when Rowles starts to inevitably blame Tyler Perry for all the ills in today’s cinema.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 8:39 PM

“but in all seriousness im welling up while chewing my way through a baguette at the thought of someone paying martin lawrence... im a pacifist that doesnt believe in capital punishment or the use of firearms... but with people like martin lawrence alive there are uses for these idiocies.”

Jim of the lower case at September 3, 2009 8:10 PM
______________________________________________________________________

Thank you Jim for crystallizing today’s political climate, you are no better than those fucking “Birthers” and those good Americans that want their country back who all of a sudden think it necessary to walk around with handguns and rifles strapped to their asses because they think “B” is coming to take their guns away. Really Jim, Big Momma got your pacifist ass wishing death on Marty Mar? What must your young sisters think of their pacifist older brother for wishing death on another human being for having the gall to make a movie?

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 9:05 PM

Please just make 'Honky Grandma Be Trippin' and stop this abortion.

Posted by: scott at September 4, 2009 12:44 AM

Id watch honky grandma be tripping it would be even better than werewolf bar mitvah...

I didnt wish death on him, no prison can hold him all his films where he isnt a cop he escapes from prison. PLus bullets cant hurt him he wears FBI issue fatsuits.

But who is Tyler Perry? Ive never seen anything about him outside this site. Ive never seen any of his films advertised here in the UK.

Posted by: jim of the lower case at September 4, 2009 8:18 AM

I really thought the story was fully told in Big Mama's House I and II. If the classic trilogy form needs to be used I hope they focus on backstory and some of the minor characters to fully flesh out the universe. Then I can move on to the graphic novel, authorized novelization and DVD bonus material with more of an understanding of the characters motivations and desires. Also, with a lot of the audience being generally aware of the concepts involved, the writers, actors and directors could delve more deeply into the interpersonal relationships and interactions...oh I can't take it

Holy Godtopus please smite these bastards with your mighty tentacles and cruel sharp beak. Also stain them with the foul smelling ink of your disapproval. Thanks big guy.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at September 4, 2009 8:42 AM

Someone please enlighten me. Who exactly is the audience for "black men dressed up as big, fat, mouthy, black women" movies?

I would think real big, fat, mouthy, black women would be insulted.
I would think black men wouldn't be interested.
As a skinny white woman, I'm certainly not interested.
I wouldn't think white men would be interested either.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 4, 2009 9:32 AM

You didn't have to ruin my Friday, Dustin, you didn't have to do that.

Posted by: commanderfunky at September 4, 2009 10:19 AM

Right BWeaves not black or white, skinny or fat, male or female where interested is seeing Big Momma’s House I& II, the 200 million dollars that both movies made were just a figment of the studio’s imagination. No one seemed to have a problem with Mrs. Doubtfire, whitey loved that shit, but a goddamn black man can’t even dress up was a woman without the world bitching and moaning about it. And it’s not that I’m even a fan of both Lawrence and Perry female characters, what is so most shocking to me is the pure hate that these two comedians have to face just to get a goddamn movie made. Just what is it about these two guys making movies that drive white America to hate? On this website you never hear black members wishing death or some other fatal calamity to befall any white actor or actress that make movies, but the white people here have no problem wishing the most vile things on black actors here. How about if I wished death on Robert Downey Jr or Seth Rogen or Judd Apatow? Does that seem rational? Of course not. You are free to hate any actor or actress you want, but just relax with all the hate speech.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 10:34 AM

BWeaves: My mother loves the black-man-in-a-fat-suit genre.

She's a 58-year-old (morbidly?) obese, fiercely liberal white woman and feminist who holds a Ph.D. in psychology.

As the old robot saying goes, "DOES NOT COMPUTE."

Posted by: antoinette jeanine at September 4, 2009 11:38 AM

Guess Who?

That's exactly my point. Someone tell me who loves these movies because I don't get it. As Antoinette says above, "Does not compute." I don't get the appeal.

And if this was a white man dressed as a big, fat, mouthy, white woman, I wouldn't get the appeal either. I didn't like Mrs. Doubtfire, either.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 4, 2009 11:47 AM

To say that people spouting crap on a film review site with the tagline scathing reviews for bitchy people do it because the person is black and that the speech is hate speech is jumping to conclusions a bit...

I think Hollywood has got a problem with not giving minorities parts or support in the same way that white people tend to... Heck Terrence Howard can barely get a job and that may be down to his difficult reputation but he definitely elevated Crash.

Martin Lawrence doesnt annoy because of his colour though its cus his films tend to be inneffectual crap and Robin Williams may not get as much shit as him although he makes ineffectual crap and makes bad career decisions that he gets ridiculed for he has actually made some good films which Martin lawrence doesnt seem to do.

Although I am worried that Im racist now that I think about it as I dont like the Wayans brothers and find their spoof films to be insulting compared to the genius of airplane and the naked gun series.

Posted by: jim of the lower case at September 4, 2009 12:15 PM

Nope! I’m not going waste my race card by using it to defend Martin Lawrence and his shitty movies. I’m going to use it when Rowles starts to inevitably blame Tyler Perry for all the ills in today’s cinema.

Well that sentiment disappeared REAL quick.

Posted by: Vermillion at September 4, 2009 12:56 PM

Jimmy the pacifist you were the one that said something about guns in connection with your dislike of Martin Lawrence. Just as those Americans have a need to bring guns to a town hall meeting to show the president that hey, we know how to handle people like you buddy. It is one thing to hate Lawrence and it is something else to hate him so much that you think it perfectly rational to hint at a lil gun play in relation to Lawrence. Jimbo, I would think better of you if you would have said that Lawrence is a hack actor and he makes shitty movies, but no, the pacifist in you thought about adding guns to the mix. So now you can sit up here and at act like just because the moniker says scathing reviews for bitchy people you can spew your hate all in the name of being scathing and bitchy.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 3:02 PM

Right Vermillion I’m the one with the problem and not Jimmy, I guess in your eyes he’s being very rational when he mentions his hate for Lawrence and throws in the bit about guns and his pacifist nature? Tell my something V, have you ever posted a comment about an actor that you hate and thrown in a comment about doing something about that actor with a gun?

Vermillion, Jimmy said the following:

“but in all seriousness im welling up while chewing my way through a baguette at the thought of someone paying martin lawrence... im a pacifist that doesnt believe in capital punishment or the use of firearms... but with people like martin lawrence "ALIVE" there are uses for these idiocies.”

"But with people like martin lawrence "ALIVE" there are uses for these idiocies"

You don't have a problem with Jimmy saying that, Vermillion? Or is it all a big misunderstanding on my part?

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 3:20 PM

You don't have a problem with Jimmy saying that, Vermillion? Or is it all a big misunderstanding on my part?

Well, no really. Considering the is the home base for the MURDERTANK, hearing someone say they want to kill some Hollywood figure because of a shitty movie is kinda old hat.

I do find it hilarious that you claimed to not want to "play your race card" to defend Lawrence, and then do so in the very next post.

Posted by: Vermillion at September 4, 2009 4:23 PM

Oh. See, I didn't respond to this tidbit of trade news because I thought it was part of one of those "two truths and a lie" thing. I was hoping that this was a lie.

Posted by: greer at September 4, 2009 4:38 PM

bah guey whoey is right vermillion, it was hate speech pure inappropriate hate...
Im one step removed from actually killing Mr Lawrence rather than considering having a martin lawrence film night.
Its people like me that were the reason Hitler got into power, my baguette, my rage, my literal commenting on internet websites.
Im amashed to call myself a pacifist, I have committed violence against my keyboard.

Posted by: jim of the lower case at September 4, 2009 4:39 PM

Jim, no amount of humor can drown out what you really are.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 5:25 PM

Vermillion I’m not even mad at you at this point, but those rose colored glasses that you wear will eventually come off one way or the other.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 5:32 PM

i cant believe that you just told my inappropriate sense of humour to drown... thats beyond the pale.

Posted by: jim of the lower case at September 4, 2009 5:36 PM

juvenile drowning joke... my bad. ill stop it there

Posted by: jim of the lower case at September 4, 2009 6:15 PM

Inappropriate sense of humor? Ohhhhhhhh, you’re not trying to defend that shit any more? What happened Jimmy, did that flimsy excuse you gave me about this place being a place for scathing and bitchy reviews not sit right with you? Did your conscious start to bother you Jimmy? What the hell, Jimmy just give me those good white folk papers of yours, I’ll sign them. Let this be a teachable moment to you Jimmy, words matter. On the way out the door send Vermillion in, Jimmy.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 6:20 PM

Huh. Still here.

I have long since written you off as a attention-starved hypocrite at best and a completely delusional lunatic riding out his psychotic break at worst, and your attempts at erudition and supposed racial wisdom is in line with the kinds of films you insist on "defending".

I suppose you tickle the same primitive section of the brain responsible for...well, Big Momma's House 3. The day I take you even remotely seriously again will be the day God parts the skies and says that Tyler Perry is indeed the Second Coming.

But you go right on ahead and fight that...well, it isn't really a good fight, I suppose. More like an amoral hissyfit. I'll be over here, laughing at your feeble attempts at faux intelligence.

Posted by: Vermillion at September 4, 2009 8:31 PM

V there is nothing I can teach you, you have contempt for me and I understand that. My mere presence here disgusts you and I’m sorry for that. My intellect is no match for you, I figured that out long ago. I only come here to entertain myself with my ravings. And I’m sorry my idiotic raving somehow made their way into your psyche and caused you strife, I though I only had that effect on fools and not men of your obvious stature.

My first post yesterday was not aimed at anyone in particular, but I guess my ravings are like a dog whistle in that only certain people will hear them respond to them even if they don’t want to. Again V I’m sorry for agitating you.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 9:58 PM

"Guess Who!" is Pookie, right? He has the exact same writing style and hates the exact same people. True, he's not talking about his penis ad nauseum, but I'm still catching the distinctive whiff of Asperger's from these posts.

Posted by: Craig at September 7, 2009 10:14 AM