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"Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!" Don’t Blame Me If You're Haunted, A New Beetle Juice Is Already In The Works

By Rob Payne | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (13)



pajibabeetlejuice2.jpg

If I’m reading Deadline correctly, Seth Grahame-Smith, the talented writer of the novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and the upcoming Tim Burton big screen adaptation of “Dark Shadows” starring Johnny Depp, can’t seem to come up with an idea of his own. The relatively new talent who has previously updated Jane Austen and the BBC now has his sights set on writing a reboot/sequel to Burton’s own Michael Keaton classic, Beetle Juice. To be fair, I haven’t read his second novel, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and considering my own creative impulses I can’t really argue with the source of his inspiration, but he seems on the forefront of young talent who can mine gold from others works without needing to create his own.

It’s possible I’m merely professionally jealous, but that said, I don’t care how good his Dark Shadows script may be, a second Beetle Juice flick was a bad idea when Tim Burton abandoned Beetle Juice Goes Hawaiian in 1989, and it’s probably not a very good idea today. The fact that his producing partner just happens to be DreamWorks President Jeffrey Katzenberg’s son doesn’t really excite the imagination, either. Exactly who’s fancy is a new Beetle Juice meant to strike?

Those who saw and/or enjoy the original certainly aren’t lining up for a new one the same way fans of the first Fright Night weren’t waiting with baited breath for the Colin Farrell version, no matter how not-terrible it ended up being. New audiences wouldn’t even remember the Saturday Morning Cartoon version, much less care about the grotesque romanticism of a pinstriped ghoul when shirtless werewolves and sparkly vampires are the daily grind. The soap operaticism of modern horror lends a new Dark Shadows some logical sense where a Beetle Juice simply doesn’t, especially when everyone involved says they don’t have “remake” in mind, but a continuation of the original film…

Michael Keaton and Geena Davis have both previously said they would jump at the chance to make another, but when was the last time either of them opened a major theatrical release, much less what is likely to be a summer tent-pole blockbuster with emphasis on 3D and CGI? I’m a fan of both, but both are supplementing Hollywood’s dearth of non-blockbusters in straight-to-DVD flicks of varying quality. Besides, we all know that if Tim Burton directs or produces a follow-up to Beetle Juice, it will star Johnny Depp in the title role, and likely replace Winona Ryder with Helena Bonham Carter. Of course, looking at that from a studio perspective, it’s hard to argue with the box office successes of Burton’s recent slide into soulless garishness.

So, while I’m certain Depp and/or Bonham Carter could do justice to the undead con-artist and his former teen bride, without Michael Keaton, a new Beetle Juice is simply another edition of Who Were The Ad Wizards Who Came Up With That One? Still, I think Michael Keaton should be in everything, so if he does reprise the Ghostest with the Mostest, I’ll definitely be at the multiplex with bells on. Sans bells.

Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, co-hosts the internet radio show We’re Not Fanboys, and avoids sandworms as best he can on the Twitter @RobOfWar. He totally had Beetle Juice toys growing up, but that still doesn’t mean sequel is a good idea









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Comments

Wow. I had totally forgotten about the cartoon until just now.
I miss Michael Keaton.
Batman Returns was on the other day and it made me wonder what he was up to.
How about a remake of Mr. Mom instead?

Posted by: Diann at September 7, 2011 11:17 AM

Oh man, I had also forgotten about that cartoon until now. And now I really want to find it on the internets and watch it. ::wanders off to search::

Posted by: KatSings at September 7, 2011 11:35 AM

"Exactly who’s fancy..."

She was the main character in the song "Fancy", by Bobbie Gentry. The song was later covered by Reba McEntire.

Posted by: Craig at September 7, 2011 12:17 PM

No one should EVER try to step into Michael Keaton's Beetle Juice wingtips. Short of molesting children, Keaton could do anything and I would still love him because of Beetle Juice.

" I'm feeling a little anxious"

Posted by: kirbyjay at September 7, 2011 12:36 PM

What the Fuck? This will not stand, Beatlejuice is hollowed ground of my youth, hell, I still have a Beatlejuice doll in my basement. I plan on ignoring this is happening for fear of having some kind of anger epilepsy.

Posted by: valerie at September 7, 2011 1:09 PM

This story is third-hand, but whatever.

My friend once related this story from a friend of his in college. When the guy was a young kid, say 6 or 7, he went to a Pittsburgh Pirates baseball game. If you don't know Micheal Keaton is from the Pittsburgh area and is a pretty big Pirate's fan. So the kid is waiting in line, and who should be in front of him, but Batman himself. Upon realizing that both he and Mr. Keaton were wearing the same Pirates t-shirt, he uttered the following.

"Hey! We shop at the same store!"

I only wish I could think to do that at that age.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 7, 2011 2:41 PM

This will be painful on so many levels.

Posted by: The Wanderer at September 7, 2011 3:36 PM

Guys, I've been thinking it over, and I kind of want to see Sam Rockwell play Betelgeuse if it comes to that. Actually, now that that's in my head, I just want him to do it on SNL or FunnyOrDie or somesuch thing. But, yeah, Sam Rockwell would work. He'd finally have a reason to dance in-character!

Michael Keaton should still be in everything, though. Even this inevitable debacle...

Posted by: RobP at September 7, 2011 5:56 PM

No.

Posted by: Steph at September 7, 2011 6:57 PM

I agree with Steph.

Posted by: Jordan at September 8, 2011 12:37 AM

It's official. The terrorists have won.

Posted by: cinekat at September 8, 2011 10:28 AM

There is another reason this simply cannot fly: Alec Baldwin. Do your best with a sequel, but you'll never explain how a ghost got that fat.

Posted by: Bert at September 8, 2011 4:23 PM

Posted by: XiuFetish at September 16, 2011 3:15 AM