free counter with statistics Ben Folds and Nick Hornby Album | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

benhornby.jpg

Nick Hornby Makes Sweet Love to Ben Folds’ Music … OMG *Head Explode*

Dreams Do Come True / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | September 22, 2008 | Comments (59)

One of my favorite musicians of all time is Ben Folds. One of my favorite authors of all time in Nick Hornby. And get this: Nick Hornby is going to be writing the lyrics for Ben Folds follow-up album to this September’s Way to Normal. Yeah. I realize that doesn’t mean a lot of many of our readers, but pretend that it’s Neil Gaimann writing the lyrics for a Rush album, or Twilight’s Stephanie Meyer was writing the lyrics for one of Celine Dion’s albums (and make sure all six bullets are in the chamber), and you’ll understand just how huge this is.

(Mini Diversion: Match your favorite author with your favorite musician.)

Has this ever even happened before? A well-respected author writing lyrics for a well-respected musician? I don’t know. Probably. Anyway, here’s what Nick Hornby had to say about the project:

I’m writing the lyrics for a Ben Folds album, which he’s recording in Dublin in December. I wasn’t going to mention this, on the presumption that it will never happen, but my writing partner seems confident enough to have talked about it already, and if he thinks something will come of it, then (deep breath) so do I. At the moment it feels rather as if I have several half-finished cryptic crosswords on the go: there are bits of paper lying all over the place, and sometimes I have a stab at a couplet while making the tea, or watching Arsenal beat Bolton. I suppose that’s what Dylan must do, although I have no idea who he supports.

Ben, as you may know, is quite capable of writing his own lyrics, but I think he fancied a rest, and anyway he, like me, wants to have as much fun as he can in his chosen medium while there’s still fun to be had. Ben got in touch after I’d written about Smoke in 31 Songs/Songbook, which is how I ended up contributing a song to ‘Has Been’, the mad and great William Shatner album he produced.

I swear, this is like combining peanut butter and chocolate, Jay with Silent Bob, or Jesus and the crucifix. I can’t imagine a better combination. Seriously, folks, this is better than the Ben Folds Five reunion.


← Pajiba Love 09/22/08 | ABC to order Flash Forward Pilot →



Comments

After thinking it over (Nick Hornby is actually my favorite author so I didn't want to reuse him) I've come up with two possibles:

Either Don Miller with Sufjan Stevens
Or
Max Brooks with Of Montreal

Posted by: Renee at September 22, 2008 1:20 PM

Mini-diversion:
W.B. Yeats (do dead poets count?) writing lyrics for Billy Bragg.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 22, 2008 1:24 PM

Usually when I wake up from the pervious night's high, I like to go online and read different newspapers from around the country to check the pulse of this great nation, and to check my email to see if I've caught one of those ladies who suffer from low self esteem at one of them dating sites. But this morning I went directly to the trade papers to see who won at the Emmy awards show last night , and to my surprise that half a fag Jeremy Piven won a Emmy. On a more important note I'm in the process of convening a committee to explore the viability of removing Dustin Rowles from his duties as Publisher of Pajiba. Mr. Rowles has lost all objectivity, and has joined with Prisco to form a cabal to the detriment of Pajiba. I'm in constant contact with my people on the inside and we are ready to move. I do not take this lightly, but in order to save Pajiba from certain doom, these measures must be taken. On a more happier note, wasn't it nice to see the Miami Dolphins break a champion bottle over the head of the Patriots yesterday?

Posted by: Pookie at September 22, 2008 1:25 PM

Ooohhhh, Christopher Moore does Radiohead. That'd be so deliciously f-ed up....

Posted by: meaux at September 22, 2008 1:31 PM

Neil Gaiman did write the text for the book that comes with Amanda Palmer's new album. Not quite the same but still cool. Also Ben Folds produced it so you know it is just dripping with awesome.

Posted by: s. pisaster at September 22, 2008 1:32 PM

The Weakerthans with lyrics by Ed Hirsch. (it would be weird without John K lyrics though)

Posted by: Kevin Longrie at September 22, 2008 1:34 PM

oh and I forgot - Amanda does sing a song Gaiman wrote called "I Google You" which is pretty awesome

Posted by: s. pisaster at September 22, 2008 1:35 PM

Harry Crews writing lyrics for Motorhead. That would bring about unparalleled levels of awesome too huge for most of the planet to comprehend.

Posted by: Mattfactor at September 22, 2008 1:38 PM

And like that, the great Pajiba Hipster-Off of 2008 began...

Since my tastes in literature and music are far superior to the rest of you culturally uneducated drivel (Ben Folds! I laugh!), I raise my selections up high, so may squint against the harsh rays of the sun and say "lo."

Four words: Elizabeth Bishop. Hannah Montana.

Suck it bitches.

Posted by: Macafee at September 22, 2008 1:47 PM

This is just taking time away from a Hornby book, as I don't really care about Ben Folds.

Neil Gaiman and Rush? Come on, don't make your flame bait so obviously ridiculous. Neil just LUUUUUUVS Tori Amos, but I've always mostly forgiven him for it.

My favorite musicians are partly my favorites due to their words, so I would't really want anyone to replace them, so...I got nothin. Sorry!

Posted by: Jay at September 22, 2008 1:48 PM

I am a hater of both music and literature, so this question is wasted on me. However, I am fond of learning new chili recipes, so if any of you have a special one, please don't hesitate to share. Except for Lucas. I'm planning on eating it, not smearing it over my naked torso.

I save that pleasure for chowder...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 22, 2008 1:59 PM

Close, meaux. Keep Christopher Moore, but switch in Feist for me. That faint moaning you may have just heard was me having a Christopher Mooregasm.

Posted by: Jeremy at September 22, 2008 2:03 PM

Also, PLEASE tell me one of you poor saps is reviewing Fireproof...that horrible Kirk Cameron movie?

Posted by: Kevin Longrie at September 22, 2008 2:03 PM

*snicker* Skitts, you are a goof.

Jeremy, I'd definitely be curious to hear Feist singing lyrics by Chris Moore! I did have a few favourite artist candidates in mind, but thought the additive weirdness properties of Radiohead would be particularly suited to one another.

Posted by: meaux at September 22, 2008 2:08 PM

Ha! I read "The Stupidest Angel" yesterday, speaking of Christopher Moore. It's the first of his books I've read. It is still cracking my shit up.

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 22, 2008 2:09 PM

Skitts, behold:

Three tomatoes, sliced into chunks.
One can tomato paste.
Beans, doesn't matter the bean.
Meat.
Onions, finely diced.
Blood from the cut you got dicing the onions.
Green peppers.
A shitload of jalapenos.
A shitload of garlic.
The tears of a child.
Secret hobo spices.

Throw that all into a big pot and let it sit on warm for three hours.

Take off your shirt. Smear the chili over your naked-- Dammit.

Posted by: Macafee at September 22, 2008 2:09 PM

hmmm,
Douglas Adams writing music for They Might Be Giants?
I understand that would disqualify me from the great Pajiba Hipster-Off of 2008, but really. No one wants to hear Radiohead play songs written by David Foster Wallace. But if the Zombie of DFW were to play Radiohead sons...

Posted by: the cox at September 22, 2008 2:10 PM

mmmmm secret hobo spices

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 22, 2008 2:11 PM

August Derleth and David Bowie
or
Mark Twain and Rod Stewart

Posted by: f-foxy at September 22, 2008 2:12 PM

Terry Pratchett writing for T.I. or Ludacris, and John Irving for Journey. I would pay for that music.

Posted by: Sabrina at September 22, 2008 2:18 PM

Oh, A"KP"vB, welcome to the fabulously weird world of Moore. You must read them all! My favourites are Fluke (which has an uncanny depiction of the life of marine biologists, until about the middle...then it gets weird!), A Dirty Job, and Lamb.

The Stupidest Angel was awesome, and most of the characters actually came from his other books--so if you liked them, it'll definitely be worth your while to check out others.

Posted by: meaux at September 22, 2008 2:20 PM

Thanks for the recipe, Macafee! A few questions:

Can I substitute ketchup instead of tomato paste? I've got close to a hundred of those fast-food packets...

Do edamame count as beans?

Does it have to be hamburger? I've got some Budding pastrami that expired three days ago and as far as I can tell, it's still good. It'd be a shame to waste it...

No problem with the onions, blood, green peppers, jalapenos or garlic...

Do the tears of a child... Well here's the thing, I've got a lot of children's tears - black, white, asian, mocha, boy, girl, eskimo, handicapped, one legged, one armed, blind, tall, short, tears of fear, tears of joy, embarrassment tears, fear of abandonment tears, my parents are getting divorced tears, just crapped my pants tears, my first period tears, titty twister tears, christmas dreams crushed tears, and more! Narrowing it down would help...

Secret hobo spices - are you referring to spices obtained from a hobo in return for a night of unbridled erotica, or spices obtained by grinding up the mummified remains of a hobo at Spring thaw?

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 22, 2008 2:24 PM

Nicanor Parra and Dredg. I'd love some Stendhal with Paradise Lost too.

Posted by: JC at September 22, 2008 2:27 PM

most of the characters actually came from his other books

The last page in the book was actually an author's note that said that, which made me kind of happy. Particularly that they all came from different books. That's a large part of why I've loved Stephen King since I was 10. My friend's favorite is "Lamb", and I definitely want to read more about Tucker and Roberto in "Island of the Sequined Love Nun". Plus, with my whole vampire love thing, I'd love to read "Bloodsucking Fiends" and "You Suck", although I've heard those aren't as good.

it's a good thing I have no classes this semester.

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 22, 2008 2:28 PM

Arundhati Roy (God of small things) writes for Beth Orton.

Posted by: frogirl1978 at September 22, 2008 2:31 PM

The cox, whoever you are, may I give birth to your children? DNA and TMBG is just - it's perfection is what it is.

Posted by: dsbs at September 22, 2008 2:34 PM

Very cool news. I'm as big a fan as you are of both guys (and have been lucky enough to meet them both).

Favorite author...hmmmm...I guess I'll take Philip K. Dick. Unfortunately, he's been dead a while, so this is a doomed project.

Favorite musician is tough. I've often said Ben Folds, but there is probably a better blend out there for sci-fi, although the idea of a Ben Folds sci-fi project seems so geekily cool that I can't begin to fathom it.

Like you, I'm a Rush fan, and they've often shown a tendency for sci-fi geekiness, but because that is already established it seems a little trite.

So let's just go with Beethoven. Since he's dead too, what difference does it make for the purposes of a fantasy project? I'm sure Beethoven could come up with something brilliant and more accommodating for lyrics using modern music, and the fact that he's suddenly alive after 200 years makes sci-fi a natural genre. At the same time, the fact that Dick tends to keep things more philosophical and grounded in characterization and less technologically driven seems to suit Beethoven's music in my mind.

Perhaps they could even make an opera of it.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 22, 2008 2:35 PM

"Bloodsucking Fiends" is the only one I haven't yet read. I'm not so much into the vampire thing myself. That said, I did enjoy "You Suck," just not as much as the others.

You should definitely put "A Dirty Job" on top of your to-read list, it's one of the best AND it's ghouly!

Posted by: meaux at September 22, 2008 2:38 PM

Screw it, I want Jim Butcher writing the most flowtastic lyrics imaginable for Jason Mraz. It would be like an auditory acid trip wrapped around vivid descriptions of wizard detectives and fucking elemental spirits making people into demigods. And since it's Mraz he's writing for, he'd work in a little bit of the light drug use and snarky wit that makes Butcher (and Mraz) so damn great. Oh god my Ipod is drying humping my pocket with the intensity of this wet dream.

Posted by: Rorny at September 22, 2008 2:39 PM

Hmm. I wish she weren't dead, because I'd love to hear Flannery O'Connor write for the Mountain Goats.

But I guess I'd like to see Chuck Palahniuk write lyrics for the Bloodhound Gang.

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at September 22, 2008 2:41 PM

Skitts:

Tomato paste gets you that thick chili texture. You can use ketchup packets, but you're going to need to squeeze every last drop out of those suckers.

Yes.

I don't recall ever specifying the meat. Pastrami should work fine. As long as it was once the flesh of the living, you're golden.

Now this is important about the child's tears: they must be fresh. Stale children's tears lose their sweetness and just make the whole batch salty. It doesn't matter whose tears or how they were obtained, but for best results you'd do well to get that kid to cry right into the pot.

When I say secret hobo spices, I mean the kind of spices you only receive after besting the King of the Hobos in a knife fight 'round the abandoned trainyard, as the hobo masses watch from the shadows, their eyes glinting as the moonlight reflects of your blades. But, yes, I suppose you could probably get the same spices in exchange for a night of unbridled erotica. Mummified hobo remains are just going to make the whole pot of chili taste of worn leather and broken dreams.

Posted by: Macafee at September 22, 2008 2:47 PM

A Dirty Job is one of my favourite books. It got me started on Moore. I've read You Suck and Bloodsucking Fiends, I've started Island of the Sequined Love Nun, and none have come close to the brilliance that was Job. It's just - it's hilarious and devastating and completely brilliant. (Lamb and Stupidest Angel are sitting on the bookshelf, patiently waiting their turn. Which will come if I ever get a chance to read something that hasn't come out in the last year.)

Posted by: dsbs at September 22, 2008 2:48 PM

A well respected prose author writing verse? Sorry, that doesn't excite me.

Posted by: Lucas at September 22, 2008 3:03 PM

Excuse me for a moment while I smack Jay in the back of the head hard enough to make his eyeballs pop for insulting Cousin Tori. Take that!

My first choice would have honestly been Virginia Woolf posthumously pens lyrics for Tori Amos, but that seemed way to Women's Studies 101.

My other options:

Nancy A. Collins writes lyrics for Madonna.

Poppy Brite writes for The Cure (to easy and obvious) or Muse.

Tom Robbins writes for R.E.M.

Weird Ben Folds moment: A number of years back, Mr. Pink and I stumbled onto an exhibit at the Smithsonian featuring the history of the piano. There was a book for writing comments at the end of the exhibit, and right above where I signed was a little note from a one "Ben Folds". I went apeshit running around the museum looking for him. Mr. Pink was not amused.

Posted by: Alabamapink at September 22, 2008 3:07 PM

J.K. Rowling writing for C&C Music Factory? I feel all weird and tingle-y inside...

Posted by: popejenn at September 22, 2008 3:15 PM

Michael Chabon paired with... actually I agree with Jay on the fact that the lyrics usually make the band for me. Purely for hipster cred let's say Ludo. Have Ludo turn Kavalier and Clay into a Rock Opera. They got the chops. Look for Broken Bride.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 22, 2008 3:17 PM

Kurt Vonnegut writes for Ryan Adams.
Yeah... I'd like that.

Posted by: raindog at September 22, 2008 3:28 PM

Paul Auster writing for The Shins. Mercer is already a great songwriter, so throwing Paul Auster into the mix would be oh-so orgasmic that just listening to the opening riff of a song would make my crotch tingle. Or maybe Paul Auster should write for The Lucksmiths. Madonna (yes, she's an author -- English Roses is as thought-provoking and complex as "The Unbearable Lightness of Being") writing for Heidi Montag.... I could go on and on forever.

Posted by: Sofía at September 22, 2008 3:28 PM

I know Morrissey basically idolizes Oscar Wilde, but I'd love to have seen Edgar Allen Poe write him a song or two.

And how about the Cowboy Junkies doing some Emily Dickinson?

Posted by: Cindy at September 22, 2008 3:31 PM

HOLY TOLEDO. ben folds is the most amazing songwriter & musician i've ever heard. love it!

please, everyone, go watch the tim and eric-directed video for "you don't know me". so good.

Posted by: girsch at September 22, 2008 3:56 PM

margaret atwood writing lyrics for tool? it might! just! work!

Posted by: mermily at September 22, 2008 4:14 PM

Elizabeth Gilbert (of "Eat, Love, Pray")

The band?

Slayer.

Either that or Mitch Albom and Hatebreed.

Fuck it, I say let's stir some shit up, see what happens.

Posted by: TK at September 22, 2008 4:17 PM

Mogwai or Godspeed You Black Emperor for Stephen King.

Posted by: JustBill at September 22, 2008 4:45 PM

And she had the gall to call her compilation "Tales of a Librarian" while I was desperately peddling my masters, trapped in retail. I mean, I hated her already (and if I didn't particularly like the music, was the rampant misandry gonna help her case with me?) but.....that shit was just cold and I took it very personally!

I'd definitely make an exception for guest lyricist for Flannery O'Connor and John Darnielle's voice.

Posted by: Jay at September 22, 2008 4:49 PM

I don't actually know how to read, so I don't have a favourite author but I would like it very much if someone could sing in pictures. Specifically, Thomas Kinkaid pictures. I imagine it would sound like the death of a soul, only set to music.

Posted by: Sarina at September 22, 2008 4:51 PM

Here's another one I'd love to see:

Chuck Klosterman writing for Guster

Posted by: Renee at September 22, 2008 5:23 PM

Roddy Doyle writing for Ryan Adams or Aimee Mann

Posted by: K at September 22, 2008 5:52 PM

Ooooh, Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Van Morrison.
Or! Jonathan Safran Foer and Wilco.

Posted by: Lucie at September 22, 2008 7:07 PM

dostoevsky does radiohead.

michael m. lewis does white stripes.

allende does bob dylan.

wait, BOB DYLAN does bob dylan.

i guess that last one's been done already. sweet! :)

so... allende does tool.

Posted by: genevieveyorke at September 23, 2008 1:25 AM

Harlan Ellison writing for Frank Zappa.

Frank Zappa writing for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Buckminster Fuller as spoken word over Mingus / Dynasty.

P. J. O'Rourke writes for Barenaked Ladies.

Ursula LeGuin sung by Ella Fitzgerald, ideally fronting a big band, scatting when she forgets the words.

Steely Dan writing for Steely Dan.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 23, 2008 2:59 AM

John D. MacDonald writing for Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.

Trevanian writing for, I suppose Warren Zevon although they may be (have been) the same person.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 23, 2008 4:49 AM

It's not quite the same as 'favourite author + favourite band', I know, but I've always wanted to form a power metal band called Great A'tuin, and have all the lyrics be based on Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. The only thing that has thus far prevented me from actually endeavouring to make this a reality is the concern that so much concentrated geekery in one rehearsal room may actually cause a rift in reality to form, allowing the creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions free reign on Earth.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at September 23, 2008 11:05 AM

Dr. Seuss, meet Morrissey.

(Just apply melodic croon-whining to the words of "Green Eggs and Ham" and tell me that's not gold.)

Posted by: that bees chick at September 23, 2008 2:09 PM

wallace stegner writing for wilco or ryan adams.

Posted by: kc at September 23, 2008 2:37 PM

Dill, obviously you've never encountered filk music. Look it up. If fake-Hillary can google FLIRJ, you can look up filk. I'll wait.

.
.
.
.

Now, embrace the geekery of a Star Trek tribute band called "No Kill I."

Elric / Lazarus '08

Posted by: Bierce "Package Wichita" Ambrose at September 23, 2008 3:21 PM

Chaucer for Badly Drawn Boy

Posted by: djfox at September 23, 2008 6:00 PM

Chaucer for Badly Drawn Boy

Oh, that's good.

Mallory / Bede '08

Posted by: Bierce "Package Wichita" Ambrose at September 24, 2008 4:27 AM

David Foster Wallace and Mike Doughty.

the cox, I love your idea as well.

Alabamapink, I saw that same piano exhibit! Though I did not see Ben Folds in the guest book. Good times.

Posted by: Julia at September 24, 2008 3:02 PM

pqkxlahy ubovpzdeh alknst mtgunbj aplwi mrcxgpsak tcfd

Posted by: qerolnzdg alhfqtgn at November 2, 2008 9:13 PM