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Why I Drink: If I'd Been Born Yet Edition

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (24)

Beatles2-17-09.jpg

Forty years late or not, we get you your trade news. I stumbled across this bit last night, which is not only decades into the past, but the rumors of it were apparently first confirmed a few years ago when Lord of the Rings hit DVD. Nonetheless, as they say on television, if you haven’t seen it then it’s new to you. And since we’ve never reported on it here, and we know that none of you EVER look at another news site (trust me, we are always watching), then we’re reporting it now.

In the 1960s, the Beatles attempted to make an adaptation of The Lord of the Rings. They had gotten Stanley Kubrick on board to direct and planned on having John play Gollum, Paul play Frodo, Ringo play Sam, and George would have played Gandalf.

It was all but a done deal as far as getting the ball rolling. The Beatles were on board, Kubrick was on board. Lord knows a budget wouldn’t be a problem with the spending power of the Beatles behind the project. A funny little thing happened though. J.R.R. Tolkien still held the film rights at that point and vetoed the entire thing. Name your price? Any amount?

What’s Elven for “Fuck you hippie”?

(source: Blastr)









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Comments

Beetles are bugs, The Beatles are a band.

Posted by: coryo at November 8, 2010 10:11 AM

Thank goodness. Can you imagine how bad that would have been?

Posted by: Skeetikus at November 8, 2010 10:12 AM

I am going to try to use my inside voice when I point out that you mispelled BEATLES. I mean it's THE BEATLES! Are you also a fan of The How and The Guess How?

Is it a joke day? I tried to click on the Kevin James link and kept coming back to the main page. Is that the joke? It's funny (that the link goes in a circle) because he's fat? And this is just another pithy rejoinder in what will be a series of humourous episodes today? Is that the explanation I should go with?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 8, 2010 10:14 AM

DUDE!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 8, 2010 10:14 AM

And, you, thank goodness this didn't get made but at least they divided the parts up in a logical fashion.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 8, 2010 10:15 AM

Good thing my computer refused to allow me to post a comment sooner.

I like the Beatles. I like Kubrick. I like Tolkien. But I don't think I could like all three of those things together. Otherwise it'd be so great that anyone who saw it would have their face melt off.

Posted by: Uda at November 8, 2010 10:20 AM

@Uda - In a good way?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 8, 2010 10:21 AM

I was thinking Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Posted by: Uda at November 8, 2010 10:23 AM

I'll take that as a no.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 8, 2010 10:26 AM

Yet further proof that THE BEATLES (there good?) are stupid. Yeah, I said it. What are you going to do? Don't even get me started on Elvis.

Posted by: admin at November 8, 2010 10:37 AM

How high were The Beatles and Kubrick when they thought of this idea?

That must have been some REALLY GOOD shit!

Posted by: Fredo at November 8, 2010 10:41 AM

Hey admin, you gonna tell us now how Sinatra was over-rated and that Al Jolson was a piker?

Posted by: The Mutt at November 8, 2010 10:42 AM

Oh yeah. Sinatra is overrated. It's all about Dean Martin, baby.

Posted by: superasente at November 8, 2010 10:55 AM

It was the Hobbit. It's also some seriously old news. Not just literally 40 years old, but like you hear about it constantly.

Posted by: Gitley at November 8, 2010 10:56 AM

I'm just confused why they wouldn't have done the obvious and made the Fab Four the Fab Four Hobbits? Paul as Frodo is fine, but John would make a better Sam, with George and Ringo filling out the roles of Merry and Pippin, respectively. Throw in Terry Gilliam as Gollum, Eric Idle as Legolas, Michael Palin as Gimli, John Cleese as Aragorn, and Graham Chapman as Gandalf, and this could have been funderful for the entire pot smokin' family!

Some times good people are supposed to make bad things so we can enjoy them with ironic detachment later. This would've been one of those things. All you need is love, and the One Ring to rule them all.

Posted by: RobP at November 8, 2010 10:57 AM

Admin - I'm not sure they were stupid as much as just incredibly high.

Shall we expand this to include the other great musicians of the era? I'm open to suggestions...

Gollum - Keith Moon (obviously)
Frodo - Paul McCartney
Sam - Ringo Starr
Merry and Pippin – two Monkees, any two will do, but Davy Jones must be one of them
Gandalf - Ray Davies
Aragorn – Pete Townsend
Gimli – Roger Daltry
Legolas - Robert Plant
Eowyn – Janis Joplin
Arwen - Marianne Faithful
Balrog – Jimi Hendrix
Saruman - John Lennon
Mouth of Sauron – Mick Jagger
Sundry Orcs – Clapton, Beck, Page
Nazgul/Ring Wraiths (all nine of them) - Keith Richards

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 8, 2010 11:00 AM

Dammit! RobP beat me to it!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 8, 2010 11:01 AM

Now I'm going to think of Terry Gilliam as Gollum all day and laugh uncontrollably.

Posted by: Uda at November 8, 2010 11:07 AM

Uda - It is genius. It's typecasting is what it is.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 8, 2010 11:09 AM

Ah come on. It wouldn't have been any worse than Ralph Bakshi's LOTRs. Even Jackson ripped off a few of Bakshi's scenes.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 8, 2010 12:03 PM

Mrs. Julien ftw

Posted by: dammitjanet at November 8, 2010 1:26 PM

Thanks Dammitjanet!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 8, 2010 1:45 PM

Terry Gilliam as Gollum reacts to Frodo and Sam seeing Mount Doom for the first time and being awed and frightened by its grand malevolence: "It's only a model."

Posted by: RobP at November 8, 2010 1:59 PM

Then they saw "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins." And the rest is history.

Posted by: logar at November 8, 2010 4:03 PM