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October 2, 2008 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | October 2, 2008 |

Jonathan Liebesman has just won the right to direct Battle: Los Angeles, which sounds like the stupidest movie idea ever conjured up in the brain-dead imagination of a door stop. I mean, seriously. As THR reports, the movie follows a “Marine platoon’s encounter in the battle against an alien invasion on the streets of Los Angeles.” That’s it? That’s the best logline they could come up with? A marine battle against aliens? That’s original.

In fact, Leibesman — the prokaryotic life form behind Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning and Darkness Falls (about an evil tooth fairy) — couldn’t even come up with a creative way to describe his pitch, except as a cross between Independence Day and Black Hawk Down. I’m sure the “whiz-bang presentation” that won him the job went like this: “Dude! It’s gonna be awesome. There’s gonna be aliens. And I’m gonna blow shit up! I’m going to bring the same enthusiasm to this project that I brought to the tooth-fairy horror movie! It’ll be just like Independence Day, except I’m even less talented Roland Emmerich. Hire me! Hire me! I give great head!” He probably had a PowerPoint presentation demonstrating his blow-job skills.

It does present the romantic notion of blowing up L.A. It’d be great — we could start all over from scratch. Where would be put the new Hollywood, though? My vote: Butte, Montana.

If L.A. Blew Up, Would We Miss It?

Sort Of. Not Really / Dustin Rowles

Industry | October 2, 2008 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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