Pajiba

"If L.A. Blew Up, woul......NO.

As long as Jada Pinkett gets out. I'm ambivalent towards the child.

If LA exploded, I wouldn't be sad, but you'd all lose Dan, Seth, and myself. And besides, we all know global warming's going to raise the ocean levels. So keep talking TK. Your bitch ass is gonna end up being beachfront property, too.

Darkness Falls did suck, but I have to admit, the guy playing the main character had a certain scruffy appeal. Not like the kids in Jeepers Creepers, in whose death I wanted to actively participate.

And while Los Angeles certainly did achieve tourist-frendly dystopia status by 1950, I have family there (whom I'm visiting tomorrow), so I'd rather it didn't get wiped off the map by an alien invasion. No, I think a slow, earthquake-propelled slide into the ocean, so the worthwhile people can escape, would be much better.

I love horror movies and have sat through some mighty sucky movies... One was so bad I can't remember the name or the plot, but I still watched it all the way through. The only thing I do remember about it was that it starred the mom and dad from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and I learned shortly thereafter that they are married in real life.

Anyway... I was flipping channels one day and came across Darkness Falls, not knowing what it was, having never heard about it before, and started watching it. I only watched a little bit before I realized it was about an evil tooth fairy. This is one of the few horror movies I have changed the channel on.

I live in L.A., well actually Encino. I'm not going to go on a diatribe about how you are all jealous of us and that's why you want us to all blow up real good. Actually, when you think about it, maybe blowing L.A. up would be a good thing. You know, start from scratch. I know I would have to take one for the team, but imagine if Los Angeles was eviscerated and wiped clean off the map. Sure, you'd miss my ramblings and clever diatribes, but think of all of the people that would go with me:

Scientologists
Laker Fans
The entire casts of The Hills, Sunset Tan,The Girls Next Door and 90210 (except Joe E. Tata, he would get a pass).
30% of the "talent" from the website Hot Chicks with Douchebags
Raider Fans
The ten worst directors on your list from this week (although Bay probably lives on a compound in Asscrack Montana and Ratner is licking crystal meth off of a strippers ass at the Palms)
Paul Moyer - A local newscaster. My fiancee hates him...she cringes whenever he is on the screen.
Seacrest - Out!
Kobe Bryant and O.J. Simpson - Yeah, I put them on the same line, both are criminals and assholes.
A bevy of celubtards from Hilton to Willis to Lohan to Kardashian.
The University of Southern California and all of the posers who wear their shit but can't spell USC.
Viggo Mortensen - Not really, just riling up the ladies....
I would gladly shake this mortal coil if I knew they were going to all go with me. If we could get Madonna, Kanye West, Sarah Palin, Beyonce's ugly dumb ass sister, Poop Dildo and the casts of Ugly Betty and the View to come to LA before the massacre, so much the better.

I'll miss you all, but I do what I have to do for the people of Pajiba....bring on the aliens....and if you're bringing probes, let me have a couple drinks first!!!!!

Rage must be on this soundtrack.

As a Southern Californian (and an ex-Angelino)--the problem with blowing up LA has to do with how it would look. LA lacks a famous landmark (a la Golden Gate Bridge, Empire State Building, etc). The movie would end up showing a lot of older bungalows and recently built stucco condos getting blown to smithereens. And how uncool is that?

Prisco, I've been meaning to start an East Coast/West Coast turf war... it's been on m to-do list for years.

Let's rock.

Hey now, I'm from Los Angeles and I would certainly mind if my childhood home was blasted to smithereens. By the way, Encino is soooo not L.A.

Anyway, that movie sounds like complete ass. I wish someone would tell the studio executive who decided that would be a good idea to bankroll to just gather millions of his dollars and start a fire on his lawn. That is basically what he's doing.

Great idea. Hey, you know how when somebody dies, nobody ever says anything bad about them because they're dead? Remember how everybody always remembers something better than it was?

Instead of allowing it to consume itself from a series of increasingly violent civil wars, LA is destroyed instantaneously and everybody starts remembering the good old days of Lindsay Lohan's snatch.

Congratulations, you just made Hollywood the popular, alcoholic, drug addicted, "Hey, look at me, why would I rape that ugly bitch when I can get any girl I want" asshole from high school that gets shanked by some neo nazi assholes while trying to buy meth behind the 7-Eleven. Everybody forgets what a fucking asshole he is, and all of a sudden you're taking your AP English Lit test in the Douchebag Memorial Cafeteria.

Way to go, assholes.

I've seen this. It's "Predator II."

And "Captain Cunnilingus Takes a Licking" goes straight to DVD. Where's the justice?

Me: "But, Lex, my mother lives in Los Angeles!"

Lex Luthor: [Looks at his watch, looks up, shakes his head, walks away].

I sort of like movies that feature L.A. being blown up. It's sort of like that Tool song about letting L.A. drown (let 'em swim!). Wishful thinking I guess, I think I've been there maybe 3 times and each time I was not entirely comfortable and wished I was back home up in Nocal. With gas prices these days the farthest south I've been is Half Moon Bay. Well, I'm lying I was in the Mojave Desert in late May. Gas prices were terrible! Anyway I wouldn't really miss L.A. as much as the people who reside in it, they're mostly pompous with some assholes thrown in, but overall I think they mean well, they're just sort of full of shit. Well...so are most people, pfftt!