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Based Only On These 9 Posters, Which Movies Will Snatch Your Cash?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | May 22, 2013 | Comments ()


beautiful-smile-anna-kendrick.jpeg

Ender's Game

endersgamepromopost.jpg

Rapture-Palooza

Rapture-Palooza-Post.jpg

Blood Ties

blood-ties-poster.jpg

Drinking Buddies

drinking-buddies-poster1.jpg

Gravity

gravity-poster1.jpg

Baggage Claim

baggage-claim-paula-patton.jpg

As I Lay Dying

as_i_lay_dying_xlg.jpg

Riddick

Riddick-one-sheet.jpg

Europa Report

europa-report-poster1.jpg



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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • RIDDICK!

    (all caps makes it count twice.)

  • Quatermain

    Anna Kendrick's been busy, hasn't she? Based solely on the posters, I'd say 'Blood Ties', 'Rapture-palooza' or 'Riddick.'

  • Uriah_Creep

    They shouldn't have put "A Film by James Franco" on the film by James Franco.

  • Kala

    The size of that font is enough to strengthen my resolve to never watch that film.

  • BlackRabbit

    This isn't a shot at Anna Kendrick, but doesn't her face look off in a couple of those posters? Like the graphics guy made a mistake?

  • Well, the 'As I Lay Dying' one is pretty neat. Unfortunately it has 'James Franco' written on it; massive design oversight, right there.

    EDIT:
    That Baggage Claim one... [shudder]. Paula Patton looks edible. No person, living, dead, still-cremating, should ever look fucking edible. It's freaking me the fuck out.

  • Yocean

    Blood ties and drinking buddies

  • stardust

    Djimon Hounsou is too good for that shit. Maybe that movie is going to make him a huge pile of cash and he has a mortgage to pay, but still. Dude, do voice work or something.

    Oh, answer the question. Yes. Europa Report.

  • Brown

    I swear Tyler Perry is in that Baggage Claim poster somewhere.

  • Allijo

    Beer

  • annie

    Drinking Buddies, hands down, and whatever that movie is Clive Owen is currently smoldering on.

  • googergieger

    Honestly? Probably Riddick. And that's just to watch the awkward kissing. Maybe that Europa Report. I don't know, usually only watch this type of shite if it is streaming on Netflix.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Blood Ties, Gravity, and Riddick.

  • AudioSuede

    That Blood Ties poster has a great vibe, and a great cast. But are studios moving away from the minimalist poster craze and back into the "busy, fit everything onto one poster that we can" mentality?

  • SugarSmak

    I adore Craig Robinson (ever since his line reading of "Her name's Bubbles" in "Zack and Miri Make a Porno") but good God, that movie looks horrible. I'll go see "Drinking Buddies" solely for Jake Johnson and I do like the poster for "Blood Ties" (but probably won't see that one either).

  • meadowdancer

    I would go see Riddick followed by Gravity. FYI why the hell is Kendrick in that horrible ass looking movie with Craig Robinson??? I don't think she's that great but she is doing Ashley Greene type movies now?

  • dAvid

    Blood Ties. For the poster, but also because Guillaume Canet. That's why.

  • Zirza

    As I Lay Dying (though it looks a bit too HEY I'M INDIE, HIPSTERS GATHER for my tastes, and Blood Ties. Because of the cast. If it's on the poster, it counts. I'd like to say Gravity, because CUARON, but the poster's a bit uninspired.

    Still.

    CUARON.

  • DataAngel

    Ender's Game, because Harrison Ford was my very first crush when I was a tiny panda.

  • Ben

    Blood Ties or Drinking Buddies. The rest look terrible.

  • As I Lay Dying is the only one that doesn't make me ragey from how shitty a poster it is, so I guess we'll go with that.

  • MikeRoorda

    Europa and Gravity because SPAAAAAAAAAAACE. (Fuck off Orson.)

    Blood Ties because mob/heist movie and CAAAAAAAAAAN.

    Blood Ties because I wanna get weird with Johnson or Kendrick. Rapture love stories need not apply.

  • NateMan

    Any comment which includes 'Fuck off Orson' gets an automatic up-vote from me!

  • snrp

    Sorry, I saw "As I Lay Dying: A Film By James Franco," and had to PEEL OFF MY OWN FACE IN RAGE AND HORROR. What was the question again?

  • no tang

    blood ties, maybe gravity, drinking buddies, riddick.

  • strand0410

    .... Is there a black 'Adam Brody?'

  • Mythra Sun

    I was thinking the same thing. I guess OC Adam is too vanilla to garner a place on the poster. :\

  • Blood Ties. Love the old school vibe.

  • BWeaves

    None of the above.

  • simplysarah

    More than likely, I won't see a single movie on this list but if I had to pick one "As I lay dying"

  • Pawesl

    I do not understand this sites obsession with Anna Kendrick.

  • meadowdancer

    I am meh on Kendrick.

  • Homestar

    Neither do I. You are not alone.

  • Homestar

    Blood Ties. Obviously.

    I don't get the Anna Kendrick thing. Yes, she has a nice voice and can act. But she has a serious rat face. I am also hating that Olivia Wilde is in Drinking Buddies, because she is always trying way too hard to be funny. Oh well, guess I lose to the internet.

  • Abby

    So you admit that she's talented in her chosen profession, but doesn't fit your definition of attractive; hence, she's not worthy of admiration from a site that reviews professional acting and TV/filmmaking?

    I think Michael Shannon is incredibly ugly, but he's also a great actor and thus I get why Pajiba's all into him.

    I'm sure there are a million references that can be found on this site as to how its individual writers find Kendrick hot, but I'd hope that the overall obsession with her is because she is a great actor. Or am I being naive?

  • Homestar

    I didn't say she wasn't worthy of admiration, just that I don't get Pajiba's obsession with her. Michael Shannon is an incredible actor. So is Christoph Waltz. Anna Kendrick is not really at that level (in my mind), despite her decent acting chops. I also don't think she's ugly at all, just that she has a serious rat face and compared to, say, Jennifer Lawrence, is less conventionally attractive.

    I do not place anyone's worth on their looks, and don't really need to defend myself to you (but here I am, being a sucker). I didn't fully flesh out my not getting of Pajiba's obsession, because this is a comment thread on a semi-serious movie/tv blog. Please relax, and maybe explain to me why Anna Kendrick is awesome.

  • Abby

    No worries, that's helpful. And no, you don't owe me an explanation or defense. But frankly, I did appreciate it. You're entitled to your opinion just like we all are, and it's heartening to me to hear more of it than your initial comment.

    I fully admit I'm oversensitive at times though to the general (aka not limited to this site) double standard where actresses' talent is 100% wrapped up with how attractive we find them. And even that entwinement makes a foolish sort of sense, as do I want to continue to look at (and pay to look at) someone who's ugly? But I find the answer to that question is more often yes for dudes than ladies -- Michael Shannon (to beat a dead horse) doesn't have a face I want to look at and look at (as opposed to, yes, Reynolds' abs), but I'd consider seeing something if he was in it, because I know he's good. I don't think that happens as much for actresses, or at least, we're especially happy when we find ones who are talented AND hot.

    In your initial comment, what I was rankled by is the seeming balancing of pros and cons as to whether the site should be obsessed with Kendrick. Pro, she has a nice voice and can act. Con, she has a rat face. If you find her talented (which you're totally not obligated to, obviously), should the fact that you don't find her face appealing override that when deciding if you want to spend your cash on her movies (the premise of the article)?

    Obviously, I've never been accused of brevity.

  • Homestar

    Oh, and to your other question, the attractiveness of the actors never enters into my decision to watch a movie. Unless it's Gary Oldman, for whom I'd watch anything.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    he gave a talent-based con for the objectively hot Olivia Wilde, too, so I don't think he's judging strictly on looks.

    And SJP is a draw, despite the "horse face" people go on about. Meryl Streep is a draw, despite being average looking. Glenn Close does not have an attractive face, but has done rather well for herself. Kathy Bates is doing a-ok.

    I'm sensitive to the female attractiveness issue, but I don't think his comment is any worse than saying, I don't like Piven; he's too weaselly.

  • Homestar

    Thanks! I think you got my drift.

    Also, I'm a lady :)

  • Sara_Tonin00

    you damn people with your cross-gendered avatars! ;)

    (I bet if Abby had known you were a lady this conversation would pretty much not have existed)

  • Abby

    All good food for thought, but I have to say that I'd still have said something if Homestar had a female avatar. If I overheard a woman in real life saying "I don't get why people like SJP. She's a good actress, but lady is HOMELY," I'd bristle too. And weaselly is actually still a description of behavior and perceived personality. An equivalent would be, "I don't know why people like Piven, his eyes are way too close together."

    Listen, we're debating different particulars of the "it sucks that there's a double-standard" argument, but it appears that we're all in general agreement, so probably no need to prolong any further fine-point definition.

  • Homestar

    Sorry, I just love Alan Partridge a lot :)

  • Homestar

    I agree with you about the double standard. Completely. Only attractive ladies are cast in things, unless they're fat, and then they have to be funny/crazy. It makes me insane.

    I've been reading this site for many years, and I've witnessed the various obsessions, and for some reason this is one that I don't get. I watched Pitch Perfect to see what the big deal was, and while I was delighted by the movie and impressed with her acting, I still was at a bit of a loss. As I said, she's not as ridiculously beautiful as Jennifer Lawrence or as skilled at acting as Shannon/Waltz etc. And I really don't think she's ugly. The rat face thing is actually kind of mesmerizing. So maybe that's it...

    Anyway, I don't want to promote the double standard. I think I felt a bit safe in this environment to make the comments I made, but I've only been reading for years, not commenting, and have not established myself as a raging feminist (which I am).

  • Homestar

    Oh, and also, Ryan Reynolds. Abs. Sometimes this is a fun place to be where we do talk about people's physical traits.

  • Jack London

    I'll take None of the Above for 400 please Alex.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Well Drinking Buddies... of course. Jake and Ron in the same movie... who could ask for anything more?

  • Bert_McGurt

    Well you could ask for more, but apparently they already heard you.

  • The Kilted Yaksman

    Gravity, Riddick, and Europa Report. Yeah, I have a type...

  • Three (all things in threes):

    Blood Ties - great cast and I like that it's gender balanced above the title.
    Drinking Buddies - universal theme and the better Kendrick pic (I presume the Bolton Bastard now has the photographer from that other one, which I won't even mention. She should sue for character assault.).
    Europa Report - watched the trailer and it looks tingly.

  • NateMan

    Can we talk for a second about the absolute terribleness of the poster for Baggage Claim? First I'm pretty sure it's the same poster as they use for every Tyler Perry movie, they just swap out the faces. Also, 'She's done flying solo'? That has to be the worst tagline for a movie ever. Just how few fucks were given when they came up with that piece of drivel?

  • Theunis Stofberg

    is this from the same people that made the version of Steel Magnolias, called Steel Magnolias, with all only black actors in it? Same script, same title, only black actors, its called Steel Magnolias, just like the original movie. Is this a thing now? Can we substitute Dolly Parton with Queen Latifah willy nilly? Will we see a new version of 9-5 soon? Maybe a new version of Best Little Whorehouse in Texas starring Samual L Jackson and Queen Latifah. Just wondering.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    The movie is titled Baggage Claim. I don't think you can expect subtlety in the tagline.

    (btw, everyone noticed this is not actually a Tyler Perry movie, correct?)

  • NateMan

    Indeed. It just LOOKS like a Tyler Perry movie poster.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Then, sad to say, the marketing people have probably done exactly the job they want, and a new writer-director will be targeting exactly his demographic.

  • meadowdancer

    Okay I just spit all over my keyboard. And I think Tyler Perry's posters always look the same because shit you don't care about the movie, you just care about how many black people Tyler Perry threw up in the movie.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Did you notice that Adam Brody is the only one named but NOT shown on the poster?

  • meadowdancer

    See above. Not black.

  • Erin S

    Drinking Buddies, and maybe Ender's Game, if just to see if they use some sort of anti-gravity smoothing device on Harrison Ford's face, as seen in the poster.

  • NateMan

    Yeah they really overdid it on the Photoshop 'skin smoothing' tool. Layers, people! Use layers!

  • Boo_Radley

    Riddick and Europa Report

  • toblerone

    No to all, the perfect sweep... I love Kendrick but those posters suck and Olivia Wilde is actually a negative for Drinking Buddies (I know, I know).

  • Are you saying that with full knowledge of her in "Butter", cuz I feel like she overcame any negatives in that role?

  • Homestar

    She was too much in Butter. Just way too much.

  • We can agree to disagree on this. Being from that part of the country and a dairy farm to boot, that sort of bat-shit too much felt just right.

  • Homestar

    Sure, I'm all for agreeing to disagree.

  • toblerone

    Meh to Butter. 1 movie isn't enough, regardless of how much misguided love Pajiba tries to force down our throats about their Olivias.

  • AudioSuede

    But she's marrying Jason Sudekis, so clearly there's something about her that's very much right.

  • Guest

    Or wrong with her depending on your opinion of Sudekis.

  • NateMan

    Europa Report looks like it has possibilities, but I know nothing about it. Drinking and Riddick get my vote.

  • thebluestepside

    Blood Ties, Gravity.

  • ELee

    As I lay dying, Gravity, and Blood Ties.

  • Afferbeck

    Fuck yeah I didn't know another Riddick was happening

  • kildarepaul

    I DO like that Blood Ties poster.

  • BobbFrapples

    None of the above. Gravity? Is Clooney funding a charity and needs some quick cash?

  • Captain D

    Are you responding to the poster or to the trailer that popped up last week?

  • BobbFrapples

    Poster. Is Clooney really raising money right now?

  • Drinking Buddies 6 times over.
    Once for Jake Johnson.
    Once for Olivia Wilde.
    Once for Anna Kendrick.
    Once for for Ron Livingston.
    Once for the word 'Drinking'.
    And once for all of those above mixed together.

  • annie

    Your logic is sound. Upvote.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Once more for some serious sets of eyebrows.

    @L.O.V.E. - that looks really dark to be an imperial IPA, and lots of beers get served in tulip glasses.

  • L.O.V.E.

    good eye. The more I think about it, its more likely an Imperial Stout. (assuming its actually beer)

  • L.O.V.E.

    And one more for the beer choices. Based on the stemmed glassware and color, Kendrick is holding an Imperial IPA. No weak-ass shit.

  • mb

    Are you some sort of Beer Wizard?!

  • L.O.V.E.

    A man can only dream.

  • We'll get there one day

  • Josh Brown

    What's ironic is in an interview with Jake Johnson he said that Anna was a a huge lightweight.

  • DeistBrawler

    She's 5'0" and like 100 lbs. What do you expect?

  • TK

    Anna Kendrick.

    Wait, what was the question again?

  • foolsage

    My thoughts exactly.

  • toblerone

    YUP.

  • NateMan

    Is it sexist to have Anna Kendrick and 'snatch' in such close proximity to each other, or just an attempt to have me thinking dirty thoughts?

    A successful one, I might add.

  • OMGLookPanda

    I believe it was Anna Kendrick.

  • The only woman who can be the answer to her own question apparently.

    Apart from Monica Bellucci.

  • toblerone

    And Emily Blunt.

  • anikitty

    Drinking Buddies

  • Brian

    Blood Ties

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