Based Only On These 12 Posters, Which Movie Are You Most Likely To See?

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Based Only On These 12 Posters, Which Movie Are You Most Likely To See?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | May 6, 2013 | Comments ()


It's Monday, Hollywood is boring right now, and I just read that The Crow remake script is a piece of sh*t that has Eric Draven as a cop and orphan. Oh, and when he becomes The Crow he gets ghost powers.

So we are going to look at some movie posters today, kids. Let's cleanse the palette with good, old-fashioned marketing materials!


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Holly Martins

    I will watch ANYTHING starring Kristin Scott Thomas.

  • sean

    Based upon the posters...Only God Forgives and the Purge. But I really want to see a few others on that list. I have seen the English Teacher, and it is as boring as the poster.

  • Bling RIng and Worlds End

  • If i were to choose, i'd like the After Earth and The English teacher. I like there posters. They're attractive to my eyes, so inviting and interesting. -

  • DataAngel

    The World's End. Because Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

  • SnowMan

    Am I the only one who thinks the "Violet & Daisy" poster looks like a V.C. Andrews paperback from the 80s?

  • googergieger


  • carrie

    the samurai poster just because it's a less ugly poster of all

  • The poster for 'Mortal Instruments' looked interesting, but it's probably an adaptation of yet another godawful YA fantasy novel looking to pick up whatever scraps 'Twilight' and 'Hunger Games' left behind and that sort of thing really shouldn't be encouraged.

    Other than that, I'd say 'Only God Forgives', 'The Wolverine' and whatever movie that Key to Victory poster is advertising.

  • DataAngel

    It is.

    It started life as a Harry Potter fanfic.

  • Strand

    Writing YA is like making yoghurt, you save a bit of the previous batch's culture to seed the new. Soon we'll have YA novels which were hastily-renamed Mortal Instruments fanfics and 10 years down the track, there will be "Virginal human ingenue and the monsters/wizards who lust after her."

    It's worked for Mills and Boone.

  • Archie Leach

    It's pretty evident that Will Smith sought out, and received, quite a LOT of advice from Aaron Spelling.

  • SilverDeb

    Hemsworth in ANYTHING!

  • ShagEaredVillain

    I love how "Mortal Instruments" is just the poster for that John Larroquette mini-series "The 10th Kingdom."

  • Only "At World's End" is a guarantee for me. Although I admit the poster for "The Purge" has me curious.

  • Sherry

    I object to the Rush poster. You do not put words over the face of the Hemsworth!

  • Guest

    Worked for Thor... Probably some of the laziest creative work ever from the Rush folks...

  • Sherry

    Ah, good reminder--I wasn't a fan of this series, either. So at least I'm consistent in my shallow outrage?

  • There's one with Chris Hemsworth's face on it? Then what's the point of even having this poll? ;-)

    But seriously, Only God Forgives is good poster art. Pretty original.


  • AudioSuede

    That Only God Forgives poster is going to look damn fine on the wall of my local neon fusion leather bar/24-hour prayer chapel.

  • blacksred

    i support all Chris Hemsworth movies with shirtlessness. His not mine!

  • bleujayone

    " this movie Julianne Moore play Sarah Palin who is now in Witness Protection due to some VERY questionable fundraising her husband Todd did during her election campaigns. But because of government cutbacks, her placement is handled by a narcoleptic temp worker who inadvertently puts her in a new identity of an English Teacher at a Vermont high school. But don't think the rules of the English language, a rancid new hairdo, the fact that she's NOT teaching history or even that she's somewhere that recycles, accepts gays as regular people and doesn't shoot big game via helicopters stop her from converting these elitists into becoming red-stated, GOP-fearing, 'Muricans! Oh You Betcha!"

  • Zamanta De Jesus

    Yikes! That would stink worse than baby poop. XD

  • csb

    World's End and maybe The Purge.

  • VonnegutSlut

    A few things:
    --What in the holy ball sack is Chris Hemsworth wearing in that poster?!?!
    --I think Bleidel & Ronan are both wearing those creepy blue contacts Ronan had laying around after she filmed The Host.
    --The graphic artist for The Heat accidentally photoshopped Mira Sorvino's head onto Melissa McCarthy's body.

  • Drake

    I think Hemsworth's outfit is more foreskin than ballsack.

  • Andrew

    Based only on the posters, just 'The World's End' and that's just because it mentions Hot Fuzz.

    That being said, what is up with movie posters that don't even mention what movie they are promoting? Even if they were interesting enough for me to want to know more about them/see them in the theater, how am I supposed to know what movie to go see? Who approved this advertizing campaign?

  • Scully

    No to Jaden Smith. Just: no. Until he unfurls his brow and closes his goddamn mouth, I will be avoiding his movies like the plague. (Oops, did I just spoil his movie? Probably.)

  • Jeff in Middletucky

    When I caught his appearance on Letterman back when he was promoting The Karate Kid, I didn't think it was possible for me to hate Jaden Smith any more. Then I clicked on your link. ::sigh:: It's like, of course this little asshole's Will Smith's progeny.

  • Lee

    The movie looks like a rip off of Oblivion. Wild horses couldn't drag me to it.

  • Guest

    1. NO.
    2. NO.
    3. NO.
    4. NO.
    5. NO.
    6. YES!
    7. NO.
    8. NO.
    9. NO.
    10. NO.
    11. YES!

  • I am hearing that in the style of Madeline Kahn in History of the World Part 1.

  • Scully

    The Mortal Instruments totally stole the cover art from The 10th Kingdom.

    And now I’ll show myself out for admitting that I know what The 10th Kingdom is.

  • Bedewcrock

    I know what it is too! Watched the ENTIRE thing every Sunday. Fuck it, I don't care if everyone knows. Singing rings!!

  • SilverDeb

    I know what The 10th Kingdom is. And I thought it was great fun! I have it all recorded on VHS tapes somewhere. How old am I?

  • Scully

    ...I own it on DVD.
    /hangs head in shame

  • Craig

    The Rush and the Samurai one (probably for The Wolverine)

  • koko temur

    What is the samurai poster for?

    * please disregard this question if its for a movie called ''samurai" and everyone know that.

  • Macminion

    It's The Wolverine, featuring the Silver Samurai.

  • Strand

    Julianne Moore's head in The English Teacher looks fucking horrifying. Whoever photoshopped that ought to be fired. She seems to have changed skin colour at around her chin and her neck doesn't line up.

  • True_Blue

    Apart from the atrocious photoshopping, looking at the poster, either it's one of those white-teacher-inspires-minority-ghetto-kids type of movie, or it's a female Dead Poet Society. Either way, I'm not watching it.

  • No, Seriously, it's about middle-aged fucking.

  • Harris K Telemacher

    No it's about middle-aged fucking apparently.

  • Natallica

    The font in "The bling ring" poster makes me sad. It's like watching a granny trying to look all young using her old 60's clothes

  • Mrs. Julien

    My reaction was to wonder if Sophia Coppola is ever going to just go ahead and make a movie actually set in the 1980s.

  • Jeff in Middletucky

    Only God Forgives, obviously.

    Also? Holy god, that photo of Julianne Moore is ATROCIOUS.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Two of these posters, I don't even know what the movie is. What's the samurai one? Is that for The Wolverine? And is the K-Science one for Pacific Rim?

  • Alan

    The World's End poster is terrible.

  • fasha

    For a minute there, i totally thought that Sandra Bullock was Pauly Shore.


  • sean

    Not that much difference in their career choices in many cases.

  • Malky

    Just 'The Heat' and the one with the samurai.

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