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Based Only On The Posters, Which of These 7 Movies Will Get Your Money?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | June 19, 2013 | Comments ()


anchorman2-banner.jpg

canyons-poster.jpg

crystal-fairy-poster.jpg

insidious2-poster.jpg

maniac-poster-new.jpg

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passion-final-poster.jpg

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  • Lego Movie gets it simply for the phrase "assembling in 2014"

    SOLD!

  • Passion! LEGO!!!

  • meadowdancer

    Definitely Anchorman and the movie with Gary Oldman because it's MF Gary Oldman. Other than that none of them look remotely interesting.

    Wait is The Canyons the Lohan masterpiece of crap??? If so I will probably watch that On Demand or Netflix just so I can laugh and laugh at the horribleness.

  • ferryman

    Maniac. My children will vote the Lego movie.

  • dizzylucy

    Anchorman 2.

    Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman look annoyed, like someone interrupted their lunch to take the photo for the poster.

  • Quatermain

    'Anchorman 2', hands down. Not even a contest. 'Paranoia' looks somewhat interesting, but only because of Gary Oldman and Harrison Ford and 'Crystal Fairy' looks like the absolute worst kind of precious indy nonsense.

  • ViciousTrollop

    The one with George Michael holding a giant pickle.

  • The first one is actually a really cool poster, so based ONLY on that (and forgetting everything I know about La Lohan and all that shit) I'd pick that one.

    That Paranoia one is making me angry. Not only does it look like Photoshop went and vomited all over it, but they also made GARY OLDMAN look like he barely has any wrinkles. It's precisely the wrinkles that make him so fucking sexy, you stupid poster makers.

  • Julia

    Elijah wood holding a scalp? Yes and yes. No one does pasty weirdo better.

  • llp

    Realistically, my kid is going to see the Lego poster and lose. his. mind. So, that would be my winner, although he probably would be very, very interested in the Crystal Fairy one based on the poster. Marketing be tricky, yo.

  • llp

    The Crystal Fairy one is wacktacular. I might be in love.

  • Homestar

    Anchorman 2.

    The Michael Cera poster is pretty good, and I really hate Michael Cera.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    The Crystal Fairy poster has really somehow captured a certain Ralph Steadman-ness. I am intrigued.

  • dannyexplosion

    Man, thanks for calling but I'm probably going to stay home.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    But...they sell booze at the theater! BOOZE!

  • Daniel Valentin

    Am I the only one who, when scrolling down the posters, got halfway through the Maniac poster and thought "Uncharted?!?!"

  • Mrcreosote

    The Lego Canyons, because I want to see a Lego Lindsey Lohan that's lightly dusted with powder and a little bit dinged up.

  • HJ

    Maniac, I guess. Elijah Wood was super creepy in Sin City, so why not. Anchorman 2 on Blu-Ray. I can't say the rest really do much for me, despite my enduring love for Gary Oldman. But a big, fat no on Cactus Fairy. I've seen enough "Hilarious, drug-fueled, road movies" in my lifetime. Thank you.

  • Liz

    The Lego movie. Duh

  • Andrew Jara

    That Canyons poster is like 10 years too late with the hills reference isn't it? I mean is the hils even on still?

  • TheReinaG

    ... You understand the hills is a reference to a place, not a television show, correct? As far as the canyons, it could refer to say... Benedict, Laurel, Kentor, Mandeville, etc.. Not everything is trying to relate to the brilliant cultural touchstone of... uh, reality television. For the movie title it's a great tag line, but only if you know half a fucking thing about Los Angeles I guess.

  • Andrew Jara

    Ellis is that you? i llive in Los Angeles but good catch at not knowing anything. Also I would agree with you if they didn't used the exact same font and color scheme as the hills.

    Or in other words you don't know shit about shit, I guess. (I put it in a condescending tone so you would understand it?

  • seth

    WWZ

  • Emm82

    I think I may be the only person ever, but I really didn't like Anchorman, so thats definitely out - Passion looks quite good, if only for the leads - the rest, much of a muchness (I'm still never watching insidious again though!)

  • IngridToday

    A would definitely go see a documentary of the making "The Canyons" because the movies sounds so low budget/poorly filmed I have no interest whereas everything I've read about the making of the film sounds like trashy goodness.
    I never got the appeal of Anchorman. Maybe it's the fact that I had an incredibly obnoxious co-worker who would constantly quote it all the time... but the appeal is lost on me.

  • Lego Movie forever and ever and ever.

  • Blake

    None of the above.

    *Maybe Anchorman 2 but only Bluray.

  • The Lego Movie because it's a movie about Lego and it uses the word 'assembling' which pleases me greatly because it's a pun and I love pun and also I love Lego and movie posters too because Lego Movie.
    ...

  • Boo_Radley

    None of them!

  • Strange. Now why have they removed Lindsay Lohan from the marketing for The Canyons? She's the only reason I'm interested in the project in that trainwreck way.

    I guess I have to go with Insidious 2 since I loved the first one and hate myself enough to throw money at horror sequels for really good original properties.

  • pnnylne

    Crystal Fairy, Paranoia (cuz Gary mothaeffin' Oldman), and Maniac

  • Julie Chase

    That Paranoia poster is TERRIBLE.

    I am intrigued by Passion, but only because of the leads.

  • emmalita

    I expected to see Taylor Lautner on that poster.

  • I mean that tag line for Paranoia is just confusing!

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Isn't Maniac already out?

  • In Europe it definitely has been. Maybe it's getting wider release in US soon?

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    Ok, what the fuck is a Lego movie?! Really? What's the plot? The little builder can't find the window piece, calls the Lego police, but they've lost a wheel on the car and they have to hijack the millenium falcon from the Star Wars pieces and IS THAT IT!? What the hell people?

  • Batesian

    Plus LEGO Batman.

    (Seriously, LEGO's animated stuff has been consistently entertaining. And this is directed by the guys who did Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. I'm getting a Toy Story/Roger Rabbit vibe, so I'm optimistic.)

  • The Lego Star Wars cartoons are absolute riots. We just watched The Padawan Menace the other night, again.

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