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Based Only On the Posters, Which Of These 10 Movies Will Get Your Cash?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | July 16, 2013 | Comments ()


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • 5/10. Maybe 6 if Jeff Bridges can convince me Rooster Cogburn is an awesome wizard. Absolutely no interest in dance battles, Kutcher as Jobs is iffy, need to be sold on a Princess Di movie that will beat The Queen, and as much as I love Keri Russell, I want to burn that poster in a pyre.

    Also, did anyone else's mind wander to the Chris Brown jokes once they saw the Battle poster?

  • gforcetwo

    Jeff Bridges' glorious facial hair configuration in Seventh Son wins the whole damn thing.

  • thatguythatlurks

    I am not a violent man by any stretch of any imagination, but can I punch the “Battle of the Year (in 3D)” poster in the groin? That will be great…

  • kirbyjay

    When I think Ruffalo I think overly amorous bison

  • Maguita NYC

    Bison is surprisingly very tender meat.
    Sexy tender meat.

  • e jerry powell

    If Jeff Bridges agreed to hatefuck me until I lost all ability to walk, I might entertain the thought of Seventh Son. Otherwise, I will be holding on to my cash for the foreseeable part of 2014.

  • llp

    The only good poster is for Godzilla, but I love James McAvoy and I will even watch him in a pig race, apparently. I am surprised that Irvine Welsh is writing farm life stories, given my recollection of his novels and previous movies, but it's good to try new things. Old dog, new tricks, etc.

  • CarrieO

    James McAvoy riding a pig. I don't care what the movie is about, I'll watch it. The flip side of that is an "I <3 Mr. Darcy" tote bag. That makes me sad. And I do <3 Mr. Darcy.

  • PerpetualIntern

    Can I choose none? I chose none.

  • Wigamer

    Can Christian Bale just do some sort of light-hearted material? Once? I feel like the last time I saw him in something light was A Midsummer Night's Dream. Even in my beloved Reign of Fire he was Scowly McScowlerson.

  • DominaNefret

    Diana and Austenland, because women.

  • melissa82

    Battle of The Year in 3D because I want to support Chris Brown. Ick....... but actually: Filth, not necessarily because of the image but the names on the poster, same goes for Out of The Furnace. And Austenland - how adorable is Keri Russell? How are you still so cute, Keri? (I had a girl crush back when she was on Mickey Mouse Club)

  • Joseph Finn

    Flith and then Austenland. Yeah...I know.

  • Eva

    Seventh Son! I don't know what's going on in the poster, but I know I like Jeff Bridges as a scowling badass.

  • emmalita

    You should go find the trailer. It's balls out crazy, but hard to tell if it's good crazy or bad crazy.

  • AshBookworm

    Poor Josh Holloway.

  • dizzylucy

    Seriously, what happened there? I find it hard to believe there weren't better offers waiting for him after Lost. That looks downright tragic.

  • Alwyn

    is there anything more virile and arousing than Ruffalo's delicious hair. everywhere.

    these are not new feelings but that have certainly not been this loud in a while.

    he is one-third of my "perfect men" scale/triangle. (the other thirds being donald glover and christopher whitelaw pine.) (is that relevant? no.)

  • apsutter

    Emily Blunt deserves better than Tom Cruise garbage.

  • Jerce

    Awww, poor Josh Holloway. Fire your agent, sugar.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Godzilla, Seventh Son (even if it looks fucking crazy), and probably Filth.

  • Emm82

    Good lord, where the F*ck was Mark Ruffalo keeping that glorious mane on his chest, and more importantly why weren't we told earlier so we don't have to put up with Zac 'sesame street' Efron?

  • Samantha Klein

    Filth? I am intrigued...

  • Theron

    'jOBS' is gonna suck! XD

  • James McAvoy is riding a pig while wearing a cop uniform.

    Your argument is invalid.

    Though OK, the Godzilla poster is pretty awesome. But about Godzilla. So I don't know.

    Austenland makes me feel embarrassed for Kerri Russell. No, girl. No.

  • melancholicmess

    Godzilla??? Again???!!!

  • Natalie Loren

    *right click saves Mark Ruffalo poster, sets as desk background img, removes pants*

  • Natalie Loren

    Also? Out of the Furnace, because casting.

  • Slash

    Can't really beat hot Ruffalo and McAvoy.

  • Mrcreosote

    Um, Battle of the Year people! With Chris Brown! The story of a crew of ballers that takes over the streets y'all! With the hippoty hoppity dippity doo!

    I'm assuming of course that this is actually an hour and a half of Chris Brown getting the shit kicked out of him by a series of Rihanna impersonators in a large steel cage. That I would pay for.

  • Maguita NYC

    "an hour and a half of Chris Brown getting the shit kicked out of him ..."

    I'm sold. 00543 00987 34560988766 098742.

  • koko temur

    Or by josh halloway..

  • Sherry

    Hm. This could be the only way I would endorse that movie. Darn you for giving me presumably false hope!

  • jlc1967

    Mark Ruffalo. My God.

    Movies: I'm psyched about Austenland and don't really need the poster to get me there. I know nothing about Out of the Furnace but am most interested in it due to its poster.

  • Patty O'Green

    None, and I'd like to add a single tear for Josh Holloway making (what appears to be) a dance movie with Chris Brown.

  • BobbFrapples

    Godzilla.
    How much junk can you cram onto Tom Cruise's frame without him toppling over backwards?

  • Maguita NYC

    Not as much as in John Travolta's. And he topples forward.

  • Godzilla, first and foremost. And then possibly Tom Cruise and/or Jeff Bridges.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Transcendance

  • AudioSuede

    I don't know what Filth is, I didn't know there was a new Godzilla, and I've never heard of that Tom Cruise movie.

    Pajiba. Don't. Let. Me. Down. Again.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    I've told you about them before. WHY YOU NO LISTEN??

  • Nev

    I would've said whatever the Mark Ruffalo film is (damn....) but if it's Thanks for Sharing I doubt I will spend money on it. Watch Bruce Banner get it on with Pepper Potts? Not so much, thanks.

    Of the others.. Maybe The Furnace cause: Bale!

  • Ray W.

    the first one.

  • Maguita NYC

    I completely understand. Mark Ruffalo's nakedness made your mind numb for words.

  • Ray W.

    Exactly...typically, I don't even like hairy guys, but there's something about him that screams sexy!

  • toblerone

    1. NO
    2. NO - Thanks for changing the title from the comic. Anything and everything to separate this white washed piece of garbage from the original is fine by me (Sorry Emily).
    3. NO
    4. NO
    5. NO
    6. NO
    7. NO
    8. NO
    9. NO
    10. NO

    Sweep!

  • bleujayone

    Jeff Bridges IS Colonel Harland Sanders: Monster Slayer and this time he ain't turning chicken.

  • PerpetualIntern

    BOOM! Chalk up another EE for bluejayone.

  • BWeaves

    Snort, hehehehhehehe.

    Must go wipe tea off keyboard now.

  • emmalita

    Filth and Godzilla. And I'm going to make fun of my besties husband because he'll want to see Battle of the Year - for the dancing, not the Chris Brown.

  • alannaofdoom

    Not gonna lie, if Brown wasn't involved with "Battle of the Year" I would see it in a second, because I love me some cheesy 3D dance movies. But Brown is an absolute dealbreaker.

  • Kala

    Yup. I can go for some cheese if there's some great dancing in it, but I will never support anything that has to do with that dumbass.

  • emmalita

    Agreed.

  • Maguita NYC

    yuck. Chris Brown.

  • DeltaJuliet

    +10000000000 upvotes

  • Joe Grunenwald

    JOSH HOLLOWAY WHAT ARE YOU DOING

  • Sherry

    I share your outrage and second it. It would be bad anyway but Chris Brown? Supporting that piece of filth? I have a huge disappoint here.

  • As long as he's shirtless in it, I don't question it.

  • Captain_Tuttle

    Collecting what I hope is an obscenely huge paycheck. Otherwise, no excuses, and Jeff Bridges must prod him with the flamey walking stick of justice.

  • weetiger3

    Like most here, I'd formed an opinion of some sort as to whether or not I'd see most of these movies long before I saw the first poster. I can only assume that the Mark Ruffalo pic is from Thanks for Sharing. If that's all I knew about it, yeah, that pic would get me to the theater.

  • WestCoastPat

    Based on poster alone? Godzilla. Absolutely Godzilla. Regardless what I may think of the other films and the actors in them, those posters are terrible.

  • Eve

    That's a really cool poster.

  • Eve

    Based on the header picture...anything Mark Ruffalo is in.

  • Maguita NYC

    Anything he's in or out of.

  • marya

    ...or in and out of?

  • psemophile

    Godzilla. Godzilla. Godzilla. And maybe Filth because James McAvoy.
    But Godzilla for sure.

  • tmoney

    I'm probably the only lady who doesn't dig chest hair at all. More Ruffalo for everyone else!

    To answer the question: Filth.

  • oilybohunk7

    I'm with you, not a fan of chest hair.

  • DataAngel

    Filth. Because Irvine Welsh.

  • Mariazinha

    Filth. Because James Mcavoy.

  • emmalita

    Filth. Because James McAvoy, riding a pig. I mean I would go just for the McAvoy, but McAvoy riding a pig gets me there opening weekend.

  • Boo_Radley

    Only Godzilla.

  • PDamian

    Holy sh... Mark Ruffalo!

    And based on the posters alone, I don't want to see any of these films. I'll probably see Austenland, but not for the poster. I rather like the Jobs poster for color and design, but I doubt I'll see the movie. A giant douche playing a giant douche? No, thanks. (Yes, Jobs was a great innovator, but let's face it, he piggybacked on the genius of others -- like Wozniak -- to get to the top.)

  • BendinIntheWind

    Mark Ruffalo, because UNNNNNFFFFFF.

  • AudioSuede

    You and me both, Ein.

  • BendinIntheWind

    BACK OFF, BITCH!

    Whooo, sorry, don't know what came over me there... Ruffalo-induced territorial mania, I guess. That's a thing, right?

  • Irina

    Edge of Tomorrow, because I wish I weren't this shallow but apparently I am.

    And Austenland because common, it's Keri Russell and Jane Austen. How can anyone resist?

  • RJ

    Ruffalo. Goddamn. I'll be in my bunk.

  • BWeaves

    So, is Mark Ruffalo actually in any of these movies, naked and in bed?

    Or is that header just a lady boob teaser?

  • Michelle

    You know, I was wondering that myself, but then I decided I didn't actually care.

  • celery

    Um. Mark Ruffalo naked in bed. That movie. That's the one that will get my cash.

  • celery

    (also Filth looks...interesting? and James McAvoy!)

  • BWeaves

    Austenland.

  • Wigamer

    Austenland. Because I, too, love Mr. Darcy.

  • kirivinokur

    I get to watch Pete Campbell play Mr. Darcy at te Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis next week. It'll be glorious.

  • Wigamer

    Oh, Pete will do such a good job with the snotty, "I love you despite myself" part. LUCKY!!!

  • emmalita

    My brain might break. It's trained to love Mr. Darcy and trained to be revolted by Pete Campbell. Which ingrained reaction would win?

  • koko temur

    The answer is, as always, James McAvoy. but why was it neccesary to confuse me with this newly found desire for H*lk F*ck?

  • llp

    I'm with you. I never really got any tingles in my lady business for Mark Ruffalo before today, but that picture is convincing.

  • Maguita NYC

    Hulk Fuck.
    Hulk Fuck.
    Hulk Fuck.

    I'll be trying this at midnight looking into a mirror. If there's a green monster that appears, I'll spank you. If Ruffalo appears... I'll be seeing you around wifey.

  • apsutter

    I've long had a thing for Mark Ruffalo, especially because of that glorious head of hair. My significant other is bald so guys with good hair are now my secret fantasy lol

  • koko temur

    Our relationship is very clear on that account.

    But in fairness, i think if a green monster appears spanking him will be a better option.

  • Maguita NYC

    Not while I have my ass-kicking wifey to defend me!

  • koko temur

    Soooo.... Im not that familiar with the Hulk mythology. Say he appears, is there a way to revert him back to mark rufallo, besides waiting around and not getting killed? Would you say a handy would speed the proccess a bit?

  • emmalita

    I'm not sure that's ever been explored in the mythology. Maybe in one of the porn adaptations? It certainly works well for most non-Hulk guys.

  • koko temur

    It turns most men to mark rufallo?!
    I.... Just remembered i had to be somewhere...

  • emmalita

    I think things are about to get surprising.

  • Maguita NYC

    Is that what they meant by riding that ever elusive green unicorn?

    Guess Midas' touch has nothing on Koko's.

  • Maguita NYC

    I''m afraid to ask if a "handy" is what I think it is... If it is, you ARE fearless! Giving a handy to a green monster.

  • emmalita

    She did suggest spanking the big green monster, and not as a metaphor.

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