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Based Only On The Poster, Which Of These 9 Movies Would You Like To Lay Down By The Fire?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | October 2, 2013 | Comments ()


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Those all look various shades of terrible. Anything that bills itself as a 'musical event' or as 'the [fill in the blank] of the holiday season should be consigned to Outer Darkness before it even gets a chance to hit the screen.

  • ryallen

    Nebraska isn't so bad.

  • googergieger

    Can't go wrong with The Keach.

  • Ben

    I really like the poster for Charlie Countryman, and I'm still a sucker for Lebouf.

  • None. Ever. No matter how much you paid me. STOP THREATENING ME.

  • Laura Darch

    The one the says "Mads Mikkelsen" on it. - but only if I can fast forward through all the parts without him.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    So, you have Mads in your movie, but you choose to put The Beef's face on the poster? No.
    Also, even without Payne and Odenkirk, that Nebraska poster is fabulous.

  • Bea Pants

    None of them really make me wanna part with my hard-earned dollars.

    Am I the only one who thought of Black Sabbath's N.I.B. when they saw the Black Nativity poster?

  • dizzylucy

    That Madea one is going to haunt my nightmares. Good Lord.

    I like the Nebraska poster, but the rest look terrible.

  • Mr. E

    Black. Nativity.Looks.A.Hot.Goddamn.Mess. Holy shit! How did somebody create something that looks worse than a Madea Christmas film in which, I assume, she cracks sassy-like about black Jesus, Mary really being a Ho, and what she woulda turned the water into? And I'M BI-RACIAL. I give up.
    The imagery in The Dirties poster is very intriguing...then Kevin Smith.
    The Grudge...then Kevin Hart.
    Charlie Countryman - Very solid cast...then "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
    Nebraska - Ooh, Alexander Payne, nice...then Will Forte has second billing. Huh? MacGruber?

  • Bryan

    I started filling with rage at the Dreamworks Face present in the Frozen poster... but then I scrolled down a bit and saw Clifton Collins Jr's expression. Well played, sir. You made the face funny instead of annoying; not an easy task.

  • Ben

    There is barely any dreamworks face in the Frozen poster. Closest would be blue dress chick.

  • Xander

    Black Nativity- Looks incredible bad and cheesy. We are talking &th Heaven bad here

    Charlie Whatver- I like Evan R. Wood but even she is not worh suffering through Shia

    The Dirties- Might torrent it because I will forever be grateful to KevinSmith for that Eliza Dushku in a cat suit gift he gave us

    Frozen- Fuck yeah. Sadly they dub animated movies in my countries(god I hate them for it) So sadly I will wait for torrents or buy the DVD whatever comes first

    Grudge Match- No thanks

    Hellbenders- Meh might check it out if I am bored

    Nebraska/On the job- Meh

    Madea Christmas-

  • Michelle

    None. None of these.

  • AudioSuede

    Good lord, this is the worst round-up of posters I've seen on this site to date. Nebraska is okay, though kinda rote. Honestly, the only one that is interesting from a design perspective is the Shia flick, and, you know, it's Shia, so that's not getting Redbox'd by anyone in my house.

  • oilybohunk7

    Black Nativity, is that a joke?
    The Charlie Countryman poster is great but LaBeouf? No.
    The Nebraska poster reminds me of my grandpa. He had think, whispy hair like that and he would let me style it like a troll doll. And now I have the sads. Miss you grandpa Louie!

  • lowercase_ryan

    1) Charlie Countryman (Mads + Sundance = me giving it the benefit of the doubt)
    2) The Dirties (I will see anything Kevin Smith does, even though that will sometimes mean suffering on my part).
    3) Nebraska (because of the cast and it was a great Springsteen album)

  • Scottieboy

    Isn't Black Nativity a Tracy Jordan film?

  • bastich

    Could we pick a remix of multiple movies?

    I'd pay good money to see "Black Nativity Vs. A Madea Christmas: Frozen Grudge Match".

  • Maguita NYC

    Oh you are high!

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    Hellbenders 3D looks awesome. I'll need a lot of alcohol, probably some recreational drugs as well and we'll be good to go.

  • bastich

    Only professional drugs can get me through a modern cinema experience nowadays.

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    Like paracetamol?

  • Guest

    Nebraska. Odenkirk wins.

  • Robert

    I like the On the Job poster the most, but I don't want to get down with any of these. Can you imagine how aggressive On the Job would be? Pointing things at you or chasing you down to maintain control by the fire? No thank you.

  • emmalita

    Hell Benders 3D is what I'll be seeing when I drop the niece and nephew off at Frozen. I don't know what is happening in that poster, but Clifton Collins Jr., and Clancy Brown = for a good time call. It looks crummy but good.

    Nebraska when I'm in the mood to get my heart ripped out be quality story-telling.

    Can we talk about Black Nativity for a minute here? I'm generally a pretty nice person, but movies that try to warm heart make me feel dead inside and then I feel rage. I want all of the actors to be in a better things that don't have angels and threats of heart-warming.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I love Angela Basset and when she shows up in things like Black Nativity or This Means War, my heart dies just a little.

  • emmelemm

    I hear ya. Unfortunately, even actresses gotta eat.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Oh, I know. I meant it as more of a commentary that she's not given material worthy of her. Hell, what was she doing that she couldn't be in The Butler instead of Oprah? (not that I thought The Butler was amazing, but could you imagine what she could have done with that character?)

    I'm actually hoping that her AHS character has some fantastic material and that maybe she'll get a great cable series out of the role.

  • Blake

    0 for 9 again Hollywood...

  • PDamian

    Jeebus, I don't want to see any of them.

  • There is almost too much to love about Black Nativity. 100 percent chance this DVD is $3.99 at my local CVS six months from now.

  • Aratweth

    I know you mentioned "lay down by the fire", but is "take out behind the barn and shoot in the head" an option?

  • bastich

    You know, I've always gotten those phrases mixed up...which made my first time watching "Old Yeller" a very uncomfortable experience.

  • Keith D. Kurman

    how 'bout IN the fire, more likeā€¦ all of them.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    BLACK NATIVITY is, of course, a prequel to BLACK CHRISTMAS, right?

    NEBRASKA had me at "Alexander Payne".

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    And Bob Odenkirk.

  • Maguita NYC

    On The Job because I always fall for these types of movies.
    Also, Charlie Countryman. Although it is a Lebeouf movie, the poster looks really good. Even better when one notices Mads Mikkelsen's name. Last would be Kevin Smith's The Dirties.

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