Based Only On the Poster, Which of These 7 Movies Might Take You Away?

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Based Only On the Poster, Which of These 7 Movies Might Take You Away?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | October 28, 2013 | Comments ()









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  • Boo_Radley


  • e jerry powell

    Burgundy needs a little more package highlighting in that shot. It's a very period-appropriate thing to do. Jon Hamm had to get it from somewhere, right?

    That 47 Ronin poster made me ask "whatever happened to Zhang Ziyi?" out loud.

  • John G.

    I can't wait to see Mandela. Finally, a movie about the revolutionary, not the safe, offending no one old man getting out of prison.

  • 'Murican Muscle! :D

  • Jiffylush

    I really want to see all of these movies except for American Muscle, unless that movie is self aware and more like Death Proof than Fast and Furious 23.

    No wait, just watched the trailer for Grudge Match and yeah, it's pretty depressing. To be honest though it involves Alan Arkin, Robert DeNiro, and "Shane" so I will probably watch it one day. Almost hate to say it but I have enjoyed Stallone's new stuff, even if it is weird seeing his face like that. Is it wrong that I was excited to see Kim Basinger?

  • Bodhi

    47 Ronin! I know nothing about it, but that poster is beautiful. Also, Muppets. Always Muppets

  • BWeaves

    I guess De Niro needed more dinero.

    De Niro looks like Jack Lemmon in that poster.

  • Salad_Is_Murder

    What is the sound of two drums and a cymbal falling off a cliff?

  • zeke_the_pig

    The Raid 2 because fuck the posters, it's The Raid 2.

  • Jim

    I have to admit I thought "Muscle" was a zombie flick until I looked a little closer - sheesh.

    47 Ronin - despite you know who - because 25 Dec is "Non-Christians Go to the Movies" day in our house.

    Also, if we ignore Will Ferrell do you think he'll go away?

  • BuffyloGal

    Isn't the real question here what one would do with a forty-foot Paul Rudd? Oh the possibilities!

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    So many women! It's an estrogen fest! Oh alright, the raid and 47 Ronin simply because of tattoo guy. I want to know his deal.

  • emmalita

    Once again, womyn-loving Hollywood is showing us that they only care about the feminists.

  • carrie

    Any one

  • Parsnip

    Top choices for me: 47 Ronin, Anchorman 2 and Raid 2, though if they'll be good...not so sure, here's hoping though.

  • Jenn TheYellowDart

    I have an enormous soft spot for Keanu. Plus 47 Ronin looks BITCHIN. Fire? Tattoos? Swords? Weird Mask Guy? SAHHHH-WEET.

  • kirbyjay

    Keanu didn't even have to get a shave and a haircut for this flick.

  • Jenn TheYellowDart

    He does his part to keep in line with the movie's budget.

  • Helo

    47 Ronin (aka Pirates of Feudal Japan, going on the trailer...)

    But, The Raid 2, good lord... The first one is a stone cold classic.


    I could watch the Muppets all day, every day and now there is a Muppets movie with Tina Fey? Yes please!

  • Kala

    I will definitely see Mandela at some point, but the Muppets film shames every single other movie on this list. Muppets + Tina Fey = Shaking In Anticipation.

  • apsutter

    Dear God,

    I don't ask for much but please let the new Muppet movie be spectacular.


  • Ben

    I'd see all of them bar Grudge Match to be honest.
    47 Ronin looks like some good fun, and I'm pretty curious about Rick Genest (Zombie boy) inovlvement, he's pretty prominent in all the advertising but I get the feeling he's barely going to be in it.

    No idea what American Musscle is but that's a rad poster, Walk to Freedom is Elba, Anchorman, muppets etc are probbably gonna be great. And THE MOTHER FUCKING RAID! Fuck yes shut up and take my fucking money.

  • Haystacks

    I am torn by 47 Ronin. Looks both potentially racist but kinda cool. Damn you tattoo guy!

  • emmalita

    Well now I want to see Long Walk to Freedom in French.

  • Maguita NYC

    Now you've changed your mind! Was it the suggestive eyebrow wiggle?

  • emmalita

    A good eyebrow wiggle does go far with me, but liberty-related battle cries just sound better in French.

  • Maguita NYC

    Really? I thought Samurai movies had the best battle cry. Or are those considered grunts?

    You need to provide some proof there lady. I don't remember hearing a liberty-related battle cry in French before ... Why can't I remember any!

    Side note: Before starting every battle on Iron Chef, what does the Chairman always yell? I keep hearing "Allez Cuisine!". Does that make any sense?

  • emmalita

    A) Liberte, egalite, fraternite! I suppose it's more a slogan than a battle cry. I amend my earlier statement.

    2) one does not question the Japanese version of the Iron Chef. One experiences the Iron Chef. If you feel the need to ask questions, go watch the American version of the Iron Chef. Your first question should be "Why?"

  • Maguita NYC

    In both versions, the chairman and his uncle yell that same battle cry.

    And if one does not question, how does one appreciate more deeply the art of kitchening? You need to question for deeper understanding!

    *Side note: I believe I found my battle cry for when the kids come a-knocking on my door on All Hallows Eve. "ALLEZ CUISINE!!!"

    Yeah, I'll have left over candy for sure! :D

  • emmalita

    Japanese Iron Chef is a sacred mystical experience. If you continue to attempt to ask questions your brain will explode. The human brain cannot understand Japanese Iron Chef. Just watch and let the beauty soak in. Not all art should be understood. American Iron Chef is not a sacred mystical experience. Question it at your leisure. Although, really the best question after "why?" is "Bobby Flay? Really?"

  • Not really loving any of these but the 47 Ronin one is pretty and I do like the aesthetic of the Grudge Match and American Muscle sheets.

    Also, Ron Burgundy should have an erection in the Anchorman 2 poster.

  • And Brick should be facing the wrong way.

  • Robert

    47 Ronin because I'm really curious to see what (if any) acting Rick "Zombie Boy" Genest has to do in the film. Sure, Rinko Kikuchi onscreen is a good thing and it's nice to see Keanu in another action film (he can get by when he's not talking), but Zombie Boy caught my eye in the poster and the trailer.

    Now, rumor has it that Zombie Boy only has a tiny role, but the marketing for the film is going all in on the shock and beauty of his tattoos.

  • mb

    I know I've seen him before, but this is the first time I've found out his name. I don't have a single tattoo and have never considered myself an "enthusiast", but there is something so strangely beautiful about him.

  • Wait? Dude's tattoos are real? Life choices, man. Not great ones.

  • Sars

    Strangely enough, I find him beautiful. He carries it perfectly and oh so regally. I mean look at him without the tats but then again, this is coming from a girl who loves beautiful tattoos

  • e jerry powell

    That's actually the "after" part of a before-and-after promo for a stage makeup brand, but yeah, that's probably how he looked before he started inking.

  • Sars

    I know. Im just saying he looks better wt the tats

  • Ben

    Yeah their real, and as for them not being life choices. He's the one in a big budget movie with keanu reeves with a prominent role in all the advertising, not any of us.
    He's also the first ever male spokesperson for Loreal, a proffesional fashion model, a major part of Dermablends recent advertising campaign etc.

    So uh, yeah I'd say they were some pretty good life choices actually.

  • True - if the goal was to be in a Keanu Reeves movie and a spokesperson for make up, then yeah, you could do worse than turning yourself into a walking advertising gimmick. For life.

  • You know what? I just read the guy's wiki and I'm just going to shut up and say good for him for doing what he wants to do. Serves me right for being snarky.

  • clatie

    Muppets by a mile. But I am a ridiculous fool.

  • Sean

    Anchorman 2. And holy shit, the Raid 2?

  • Joseph Finn

    I hate to say it...but 47 Ronin.

  • Pyro Me wants to see Ronin because, hey, burning ship PRETTTTTY.

    However, I'm gonna have to go with Grudgement Day, if only to find out how Robert DeNiro and Sean Connery had a baby. Brave new world...

  • emmalita

    I want to know which of them did the gestating.

  • I heard things...

  • emmalita

    Will you have to kill me if you tell me?

  • Nahh, not kill ya. Just send you down to Miami with Tiny to take care o' some business. Getcha outta town for the weekend, cool out, lil' vacation. Whaddaya look so worried for?

    And who the hell would downvote you for askin?

  • emmalita

    Probably Sly Stallone. I hear he was jealous.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Well, duh... THE MUPPETS!

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Why are there two Kermits? And why is one of them Dr. Evil?

  • spuffy

    And why does the other have a double chin?

  • alannaofdoom

    I think you've answered your own question, there.

  • nailpolishcolor

    Someone had a Friday afternoon deadline.

  • alannaofdoom

    I love that it tells us tickets are available on The World Wide Web. But I would love it even more if we could buy them on The Information Superhighway.

  • Maguita NYC

    The Mandela poster gave me chills:


  • emmalita

    But in FRENCH!

  • Maguita NYC

    French chills are good chills too Emmalita! *suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

    That is why I translated, so people understand what is coming their way. IDRIS ELBA with an accent!

  • Dennis Albert Ramirez

    The Raid 2 and Anchorman

  • Guest

    Raid 2 & 47 Ronin (but only for Rinko Kikuchi).

    2 of 7 isn't bad...

  • I'd say '47 Ronin', 'American Muscle' and 'Anchorman 2.'

  • lowercase_ryan

    I swear to god I want to punch the very idea of Grudge Match in it's fucking face.

  • Sean

    I think the idea is sort of awesome. Rocky vs Raging Bull. The execution however....holy fuck that looks awful. I mean, I felt BAD for DeNiro. Think of the shit he has made the last decade or so. He seemingly has lost any good will we might have for him. And I still felt bad for him.

  • Sean

    Oh, and my mother wants me to take her to see it. However, her memory is starting to suck, so she may forget before then.

  • BendinIntheWind

    They played the trailer for it before "Gravity" for some reason - I laughed hysterically the whole way through. Then I immediately tweeted at How Did This Get Made? that they need to cover it as soon as it comes out. So at least one good thing could come from it.

  • lowercase_ryan

    ok that I would listen to. But yeah, I've seen the trailer numerous times in the last month and every time I can't help but think that De Niro would literally die if Stallone actually punched him. Not exaggerating one bit.

  • DarthCorleone

    I thought that Grudge Match poster had to be fake. Jake La Motta is back? But it's true. Not only that - his opponent in the movie is Rocky Balboa himself Sylvester Stallone?!?

    That's just weird.

  • AvaLehra

    I saw the trailer last weekend, and it made me sad.

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