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Based Only On The Poster, Which Of These 6 Movies Will Get You Out of the House?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | August 20, 2013 | Comments ()


sherlock-series-3-sdcc-benedict-cumberbatch.jpg

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It’s a rose bush!

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insidious_chapter_two_ver2_xlg.jpg

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • KC

    I get a serious American Beauty vibe from the Fading Gigilo poster, but American beauty did it MUCH better.

  • Tarn

    The one at the top with Benedict and the toy monkey.

  • e jerry powell

    I see that Jude Law has begun studying the Pelvic Method of acting. I am beginning to feel the stirrings of my Robotic Sleazebag Takedown Engine beginning its cyclic renewal. And ordinarily Jude Law is so inoffensive and testosterone-deficient that he never even blips on my radar.

    My lower extremities can't take it. I'm getting too old for that shit. My alpha-male giant-killing days are numbered.

  • PQ

    it's the year of the Batch, and the Assange story is intriguing enough on its own merit

  • Sometimes I feel like Hollywood makes movies just for me. I felt like that when I saw the trailers for '300' and 'The Expendables' (among others) and I felt like that again seeing that Stallone/Schwarzenegger poster. I'd say Jude Law's movie runs second, if only because I want to find out what's going on with that monkey.

  • Ben

    Dom Hemmingway looks great from that poster, but the Fading Gigalo also looked really good from it's trailer, but the poster is shit.

  • Jim

    Jude Law for sure cuz he's looking dead sexy.
    Stallone and whatshisname for shits and giggles - they're old and won't live much longer.

    And Mr Peabody if it's the gritty, later in their relationship, version where Peabody's just out of the jail after the 'three strike of humping a fire hydrant' ruling earned him a nickle and Sherman made ends meet by working the drag circuit across the south-west as "Helena Handbasket" fronting a Pink tribute band. Otherwise, no.

  • Kate at June

    None?

  • Fabius_Maximus

    After Assange has revealed himself as a libertarian dickbag, he's lost my interest.

  • weetiger3

    Based on the poster alone, The Fifth Estate is the only one that looks remotely interesting.

  • Eeeessssh....None. No matter how hard Jude Law is showing me his crotch.

  • Mrs. Julien

    It's hard to compete with the classics.

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    I'll watch the baboon. Mostly because I'm curious as to how he's related to Jude Law.

  • Annie

    The Fifth Estate & Mr Peabody and Sherman!

  • Morgan_LaFai

    None of them. What a sorry lot of posters that was. The only redeeming quality anywhere was Cumberbatch, but his presence wasn't even close to enough to get me to care about the film.

  • Bothari

    I'm not interested in any of the movies, but I am kind of interested in Dom Hemingway's chair. I can't decide if it's tacky or delightful.

  • mats19

    can't it be both?

  • Boo_Radley

    None of them. I remain on my sofa.

  • Oh, goody. More backwards nostalgia-bait from the 80's jerk circle and their shrivelled testicles. We now arrive, ladies and gentleman, at the apex of mount Noonegivesashittyfuck (it's Welsh for 'no one gives a shitty fuck'), with Schwarzallone's prison heist mirrored in their desperate combined attempts to escape the endless metaphysical hallways of their own irrelevance.

  • emmalita

    I'm so impressed you speak Welsh. It's such a difficult language.

  • I'm impressed I speak Welsh. I guess petty rage brings out my linguistic side.

  • BobbFrapples

    That's a big pile of nope.

  • BuffyloGal

    Wow. Talk about uninspiring and derivative. Makes me want to rewatch American Beauty though.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    I think I read somewhere that, in the movie, Mr. Peabody is Sherman's father. So...what the fuck is that about?

  • not a single one of them; the cumberbunch poster is almost entirely generic...that said, my thoughts on that one have probably been poisoned by trailer, which was a gigantic pile of "PEOPLE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT."

  • mats19

    It's nice to see Jude Law embracing that ever receding hairline of his... work it balding man work it.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I am very much enjoying Jude Law - Character Actor.

  • mats19

    Right... I enjoyed Jude Law- Sexiest man alive alot... but Character actor jude seems to be really enjoying life.

  • PDamian

    Cumberbatch, natch, and Jude Law's movie -- which looks like it'd be smarmy, smug fun. The Turturro and Stallone films look like disasters. No surprise where Stallone is concerned, but somehow I expected more from Turturro.

    I'm anxious about Sherman and Mr Peabody. They were my favorites when I was a kid, and I'm terribly worried that someone has taken my childhood memories and turned them into a cinematic hot mess. Hmmmm ...

  • Berry

    None of them, really, but the one with Jude Law seems mildly to moderately intriguing.

  • John G.

    Based on
    This Cumberbatch, which Cumberbatch would you most like to Cumberbatch?
    I think I just turned gay.

    http://i.imgur.com/uElXjga.jpg

  • Allijo

    The answer is always PBS Batch. ALWAYS PBS Batch. But this is a close second.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You know, were I a lurker seeking to dip my toe into Pajiba, a quiet day like today would be a excellent time to spread my wings and fly.

    Look at that mixed metaphor! Yet I have the temerity to post and so should you, dear lurkers.

  • Vangie13

    I'll briefly unlurk for you (again) to say: Remove the monkey and I could maybe go for Hemingway. That's a big monkey. The rest of them look really uninteresting, with top (bottom?) prize to "Escape," because seriously? How old are these guys? Not trying to be ageist, but I'm not even 50 and joints...

  • raeraefred

    as in i'm a peacock (not a surreptitiously downvoting lurker), you gotta let me fly?

  • Maguita NYC

    But I'm a Tuna with a taste for lion. Because lion taste good, let's got get some lion!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Lion flavoured ice cream?

    I made chocolate malt ice cream on Sunday. It was even better than it sounds.

  • Maguita NYC

    One of these days, I'm going to knock on your door, and you and my wifey Emmalita are going to have a bake-off; I'll be having a taste-off all on my own! Bagels, cookies, cakes, ice cream. I'll just bring the 5$.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Peacocks roost in trees at night. Dustin is apparently absent this week and therefore metaphorical night has fallen on Pajiba. I say spread your wings and fly, raeraefred, like the peacock, or mayhaps peahen, you know yourself to be. Roost in the trees of Pajiba. Poop on passersby. Make that weird peacock sound that's like you're calling for help. Carpe scathe, man, carpe scathe.

  • raeraefred

    i'm probably still a mere peachick, but i'll work on emerging from my shell into full scathing splendour. carpe convicium!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Or, you know, lurk and surreptitiously downvote things. Whatever floats your boat, man.

  • emmalita

    People gotta do what they're good at, man.

  • Mrs. Julien

    "Fading Gigolo" and yet it is a lithe and naked woman on the poster.

    The plot synopsis from IMDb: Fioravante decides to become a professional Don Juan as a way of making money to help his cash-strapped friend, Murray. With Murray acting as his "manager", the duo quickly finds themselves caught up in the crosscurrents of love and money.

    ...and a "FU*K YOU, HOLLYWOOD" for Tuesday!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Dom Hemingway looks fun. I'm actively repelled by the Turtorro one -though I'm wondering, based on the poster, if it's a parody of American Beauty.

    I haven't heard of the Mr. Peabody movie, but I have older siblings who will be DELIGHTED.

  • Mrcreosote

    It will take what I love most? Wine, nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • None of the above.

  • Joseph Finn

    Yep, same here. Horrible slate of posters.

  • Escape Plan, because it apparently takes place in a prison where hardened criminals are given massive automatic weapons when assigned to their glass cells.

  • Samantha Klein

    I'm intrigued by the Jude Law film, although I don't know that I'd rush out to the theater for it. Is RDJ still part of Mr. Peabody & Sherman?

  • Samantha Klein

    Answer: No, so...meh.

  • DataAngel

    Jude Law.

    Also... kinda interested in this Peabody one.

  • There are many adjectives I'd use to describe a prison that hands out assault rifles as a welcome gift to their inmates, but 'secure' ain't one of them.

  • bastich

    But if you take away the prisoners' assault rifles, then what are they going to give each other for birthdays, or Christmas, or the annual Sadie Hawkins dance?

  • Bedewcrock

    Well, they already have the matching shirts for Sadies......

  • AvaLehra

    That Jude Law poster looks like one of Cracked's "Make a Fake Photoshop Movie Poster" posts.

  • emmalita

    I think that poster may have given me an STD. Jude Law looks so balls out sleazy no physical contact is required.

  • Yep, both he and Ewan McGregor are awesome at characters, embracing the odd.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I love sleazy Jude Law. He's so much fun now that he's not trying to be a Major Movie Star.

  • DataAngel

    Works for me. Most of the Cracked fakes look like better movies than the ones really on offer.

  • kirivinokur

    Cumberbatch is pretty great so I'm going with The Fifth Estate, but that tagline is lame.

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