MARVEL / LIVEBLOGGING THE 90s / CELEBRITY FACTS / MINDHOLE BLOWERS / NETFLIX



Based Only On The Poster, Which of These 10 Movies Would You Punch A Baby To Avoid?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | January 2, 2014 | Comments ()


Zac-Efron-Seth-Rogen-Tease-Bound-4-in-Viral-Neighbors-Photo.jpg

300rise-post-staplrlrg.jpg

blended_xlg.jpg

cheap_thrills_ver2_xlg.jpg

dead-snow-2-red-vs-dead-poster-and-synopsis.jpg

draft_day_xlg.jpg

hr_Pompeii_6.jpg

need_for_speed_xlg.jpg

neighbors-poster.jpg

the-legend-of-hercules-poster (1).jpg

winters_tale_ver4_xlg.jpg



Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Because every time you do an angel does the Paul Rudd dance

Around the Web


The 10 Best Films You Didn't See in 2013 | The 'Veronica Mars' Movie Trailer Has Landed, and Good News! It Doesn't Look Good for Piz





Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Littlejon2001

    Oof. I'm gonna go Blended on this one even though I know A Winter's Tale would easily cause me to punch multiple babies.

  • StefJam

    Do you really need to ask?

  • Idle Primate

    I'm in for Neighbours. Though mostly the poster made me want to dig out the Belushi Ackroyd classic of the same name and rewatch it.

  • Stevie Oh See

    Getting a little desperate isn't it? None of the above, unfortunately.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Yeah. No.

  • dizzylucy

    I looked at the Dead Snow one, and the people looked so fake I thought it was a video game. Then I thought the same thing as I kept scrolling and came to Draft Day.

  • foca9

    Here’s by the way a teaser for Død snø 2 (Dead snow 2)

    BE AWARE, SPOILERS from the first film.
    http://vimeo.com/82891831

  • e jerry powell

    Farrell and Crowe together?

    Grunt-off! I'm suffocating from all the testosterone.

  • foca9

    Hey, can’t wait for Død snø 2. The poster looks awful, though, but the zombies looked great in the first one.

  • Amanda

    I would see Pompeii, because I would laughing the entire time, thanks to a romance novel called She Went All The Way by Meg Cabot. Now I'm eagerly awaiting to see if Hollywood makes a Hindenburg movie.

  • John W

    Ooooh I wonder what the plot to Pompeii is? And thank God there's a 3D version.

  • bastich

    (Spoiler Alert)

    The volcano crashes into an iceberg.

  • MotoJ

    I would happily give a baby two black eyes to be first in line for Ded Sno 2!
    I would diaper a baby to avoid Winter's Tale. Wait, did I get the contest rules correct?

  • mairimba

    That kid ain't no Hercules. For that I may even punch a puppy.

    #KevinSorboForever

  • Kala

    Echo the Sorbo love. That kid's wearing armor and got an army and everything. Kevin Sorbo didn't even need a SHIRT.

  • bastich

    I have no desire to see any of these movies, but I need more details about this "baby-punching" escape clause.

    How big is this baby, exactly? Will the baby be armed? Has the baby received any sort of martial arts training? Is the baby human, or are you trying to trick me into punching a baby sperm whale or something?

  • Bodhi

    That horrible baby carrier on the Neighbors poster is going to drive me nuts every time I see it. There are better ones out there, people! GAH!

    Also, I'm certain that my husband will want to see Draft Day at some point in the future. Yay football movies.... yawn

  • meadowdancer

    I want to see Neighbors since I saw the trailer and actually laughed. It looks funny.

    But seriously Pompei??? The hell? We all know people are going to die so who wants to see that? Also Draft Day no thank you.

  • Holly Martins

    Dead Snow it is. While drunk & with comfort food. Looking forward to it.

  • Jim

    I would deign to see Hercules if... IF ... it includes this

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • brite59

    That's a lot of punched babies…

  • Fucking Pompeii is spoiling on the poster already!

  • Wigamer

    If Pompeii somehow magically played on the wall opposite my toilet, I would close my eyes until I was finished peeing.

  • dizzylucy

    They should put that on the poster.

  • Andrew

    Oh, Aaron Paul, you can do better. Although it is nice to see you getting leading credit.

    Also, as someone with a degree in ancient history, all the movies set in that time make me want to punch all the babies. There's actually interesting and compelling stories to be told from that time instead of copy and pasting from TV Tropes straight into the script.

    And then I realize that I'm only noticing how bad (and I mean really bad, not just this is obviously a bad movie bad, but this is a bad historical movie) these films are because I have some expertise in the relevant field. And then I wonder if the films in other fields are also just as bad but I'm unaware of their terribleness because I lack the requisite knowledge. And I realize they probably are.

    And then I cry for the world.

  • Debra Kessing

    all of them are automatic avoids for me except the last one (I read good things and I LOVE Colin Farrell enough to ignore the boorish Crowe) and -- admittedly with misgivings -- the Sandler/Barrymore one. NOT a Sandler fan here, I have enjoyed exactly 4 of his films in total - 4 very early ones - two of them were with Drew. I found them charming together and she can make almost anyone look good so I'm hoping he isn't too far gone :\

  • abell

    All of them. All of them.

  • PDamian

    I'm going to get nailed for saying this, but ... I'm rather looking forward to Draft Day. Costner isn't the best actor, I know, but of late he's grown on me, with low-key, effective turns in Man of Steel and Hatfields and McCoys. He's at his best when he stays away from his superhero cowboy Westerner schtick (i.e., The Postman, Waterworld), and plays smarmy and/or glibly charming (Tin Cup, Bull Durham), which is what the poster suggests to me. We'll see.

  • This. Costner's at his best when he plays washed-up, laconic, shattered-dreamboat charmers, a la Bull Durham, When he slaps on too much Gravitas Homme, things get out of control. Something about his face/posture here screams OFF THE RAILS.

    Still, Costner in a sports movie - any sports movie - is a safer bet than another Sandymoore outing (and I say that as an avowed Sandler fan). Get that tyke back up....

  • thebeardedlady

    I have to agree that I also would punch all the babies and maybe kick a toddler. Although, I might be willing to see Neighbo(u)rs if I can get over the fact that the title gives me eye-twitch.

  • malechai

    I'm going to need more than one baby.

  • malechai

    Hmpf. I see in the comments that others have demanded their own supply of fresh babies. However, I posit that these people are baby-punching poseurs. Do they have the wherewithal to punch actual babies? I challenge thee.

  • BendinIntheWind

    I have to admit, after binge-streaming something on Spike TV a few weeks ago, I saw the trailer for "Neighbors" probably a dozen times, and giggled *every* time. I'm in.

  • Michelle

    All of these movie posters make me angry.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Go home hollywood, you're drunk.

  • mograph

    "Herc! Herc! It's Daedalus! It's Daedalus!"

  • DominaNefret

    "From the makers of This is The End" piqued my curiosity, so I looked up "Neighbors" on IMDB.
    Rose Byrne, Dave Franco, Chris Mintz-Plasse, Jake Johnson, Lisa Kudrow, Carla Gallo (Daisy on Bones), Jason Mantzoukas, Bobby Moynihan?

    I am fucking sold. I don't even care about the Efron.

    So, my answer is "everything but Neighbors, which looks fucking awesome".

  • ASFan

    I'm not even ignoring Efron here. It obviously looks to do to him what 21 Jump Street did for Channing Tatum. Probably won't be as successful, but I'll be damned if I'm not entertained by his antics here.

  • DominaNefret

    I hadn't actually heard of the movie before, so when I left the comment all I knew about it was based on the poster and imdb page, thus the "I don't even care about the Efron" comment.
    I just watched the previews for it and it looks hilarious, and he seems perfectly cast.

  • I will watch 300: More Half-Naked Men Yelling Whilst Skull-Fucking the Corpse of History but only in the privacy of my own home where I can drool over Sullivan Stapleton, mourn the demise of his glorious chest pelt, and lament his poor life choices.

  • wonkeythemonkey

    I, too, prefer to be alone when seizing my glory.

  • cox

    Come on, its surely a step up from *that* tv series, no? And i consider myself as a fan of it. Manfur though? Im right with ya on that one.

  • I love that series unabashedly. I am sad it has only one season left. I just hope the leads can move on to more things that put them on my TV/movie screen.

  • cox

    I laughed so hard at the freeze-frame they ended the season on. so hard.

  • Vivianne ValdeMar

    What TV series? I thought "Spartacus" ended its run?

  • I'd punch a baby to get a free ticket to '300: Rise of an Empire.' 'Pompeii' and 'Dead Snow' I'll probably see on DVD, the rest I'll duck. I'm saving my Hercules movie watching for The Rock's version.

  • pinkerton80

    No.

  • annie

    Efron's naked torso makes me feel weird. Not sexy weird, more like his body parts don't seem to match up for some reason. Also, ETHAN EMBRY. I know which one I want to watch.

  • dizzylucy

    Yes! There was a guy years ago who was always advertising some fitness program, and he had a dweeby little head on a big muscley body. Efron seems to be having the reverse problem?

  • Shazza

    His head looks like it was photoshopped on that body.

  • "No Warning, No escape, But Still Plenty of Time to Make Out."

  • Well, priorities.

    You know, between all the "buried alive" and "burning" I'm sure there was plenty of time for artfully making out.

  • Maddy

    Jon Snow always has time for making out.

  • That's because he knows nothing about escaping from volcanoes.

  • Haystacks

    All of them. Oh God the poor babies!

    PS - I may have seen the last fairy-tale looking one if it did not have Colin Farrell and Russell Crowe, both of which I find revolting.

  • Sean

    300

  • BobbFrapples

    Pompeii made me throw up a little in my mouth.

  • profession: none, or starlet

    Sandler and Barrymore. Definitely Sandler and Barrymore.

  • xhikari

    Punch babies? I would commit genocides to avoid watching Winter's Tale and that 300 Sequel.

  • googergieger

    Dead Snow 2 eh? Yeah, sure.

  • Maddy

    Both Colin Farrell and Jessica Brown Findlay look like they're about to throw up. I would watch Need for Speed for Aaron Paul though.

  • llp

    We're going to need a lot of babies.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Ugh, I saw trailers for 300, Pompeii AND Hercules before 47 Ronin. They look like dreadful movies. (That might also have been the worst collection of trailers ever - Lone Survivor, the upcoming Arnold flick, the Ice Cube - Kevin Hart "comedy", and the annual badass Liam Neeson phones it in air Marshall movie).

  • Temmere

    I just saw the 300 preview yesterday, and it looks like they're making the same mistake that Camelot TV show made: Cast Eva Green as a "bad guy" and then expect me to root for the "good guys." And I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen.

  • StefJam

    Holy shit! And THEN that masterpiece of cinematic glory? I would've taken my eyeballs out and bathed them in sulphuric acid (and still not have properly cleansed them).

  • Love the height difference in the screen cap vs. the poster in the Frat / Family whatever one. They also seemed to change his head-to-body size ratio on the "Zack" guy.

  • el_mediocre

    I feel like avoiding all of these, though Cheap Thrills and Need For Speed both strike me as Hangover Saturday viewings when they make it to HBO.

  • Guest

    None. Let's Boo-Boo.

  • Vivianne ValdeMar

    *giggle-snort*

  • Blended and Legend of Hercules. I just can't even...

  • Al Borland's Beard

    The tag line for 'A Winter's Tale' may be worse than the hair Colin Farrell sports in it. The idea of Dead Snow 2 gives me a chub.

  • troublesometots

    Curiosity prompted me to check out the trailer and it's so bad, watching it made half my teeth fall out. I'm sharing it here so I won't be the only one to suffer so. And serious - why muck up a cute guy like Colin with such dreadful haircuts? He must have pissed off the director or something...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Kala

    I'm snort-laughing at that hair. Dear God Almighty.

    What the hell is up with this film? It was run of the mill terrible until halfway through the trailer, then I became completely lost. I'm probably better off that way.

blog comments powered by Disqus



film / tv / lists / guides / box-office / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / TV Podcast / books / cbr




Trending


Follow Us



Related Posts




Viral Hits
Celebrity Facts

The Best TV & Movie Quotes

The Walking Dead

How I Met Your Mother

True Detective

Parks and Recreation

Cosmos

Hannibal

30 Practical Tips About the Horrors of Raising Children

25 Practical Tips About the Horrors of Raising Twins