Barbie? He-Man? The Toys Will Destroy Us All
Fuck it. There are bigger things to worry about. Like a Barbie movie.
A. Fucking. Barbie. Movie.
You think I'm kidding? I'm a little bent, but I'm not that demented. Yep, according to Variety, Universal has picked up the rights, and... well... let's let the suits take it from here:
"Barbie is the most famous doll in history, a unique cultural icon in the world of brands," said Universal Pictures chairman Marc Shmuger. "So many representations of Barbie frequent pop culture, but never before has she been brought to life in a motion picture. We're grateful to Mattel for entrusting us with this extraordinary opportunity."
That's an actual quote by an actual human.
Hide your daughters, people.
(h/t to Jezebel for the pic)