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Aykroyd And The Crazy Of The Crystal Skull: Ghostbusters 3, 4, & 5?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | December 6, 2012 | Comments ()


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I think most of us were initially intrigued by the idea of a third entry of Ghostbusters. Then we remembered that Dan Aykroyd was shilling vodka in crystal skulls and babbling about enlightenment and 500-year old crystal distillation. Bill Murray shat on the idea and refused to partake in the sequel. Slimer was on board, but he's been looking for some quick cash ever since Ecto-Coolers left the market. In short, it looked grim and possibly disastrous.
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Then came the news that "The Office" writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg had penned a script. We were momentarily re-engaged until we remembered that "The Office" is no longer very good. Now Aykroyd is attempting to get our hopes up again, while also slyly pissing on Murray with comments about how if he had just signed off we would be seeing a Ghostbusters 3 this summer.
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During the interview, Aykroyd repeatedly refers to lawyers sorting it all out since Murray abrogated his rights. He also reminds you that he has a line of vodka called Crystal Head Vodka and it is doing just wonderfully, thank you so much for asking! Aykroyd has more great news for us, guys! There are already ideas for a Ghostbusters 4 and 5! Man-hell-ttan and Ghostbusters in Hell! Sounds just great, doesn't it? I mean, going to Hell didn't help Bill and Ted very much, and I don't think Satan is really a ghost or ectoplasmic entity, but wow! Hell, you guys! Aykroyd, tell us more!

"Listen, I tell ya, after this movie gets made, and maybe the next one: Man-hell-ttan. Man-hell-ttan, and the Ghostbusters in hell, would be so solid, but we gotta get maybe one or two made before that. But, oh, wow... I wrote that with Tom Davis, my writing partner, recently deceased, who wrote Coneheads with me and stuff on Saturday Night Live. There's classic Tom Davis lines and funny stuff in there, really it's probably the most humorous of all the Ghostbusters scripts that have generated in that last little while. But we'll put the humor into this next one. It's gotta be funny, or it's not worth doing. It can be scary, it can be Ghostbusters, it can be the new franchise, the new people, but if it's not funny ... Wait a minute, it started as a comedy. Let's make sure there's laughs and no laugh unturned and that we really make that our priority, to make it funny and exciting, but mainly funny."

I'm so excited for this, said no one ever. Just drop it already. At this point nothing can meet expectations or come close to being adequate enough to even bother attempting a third movie. So unless you can get Emma Stone to play Louis and Janine's kid, complete with the nasal accent she used in that scene in Zombieland, Tom Felton as Dana's son Oscar, and Donald Glover as Winston's son? FORGET IT.
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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Drake

    Seriously, it sounds like Dan has started the slide into dementia.

  • TK

    The only way I'm watching this is if Murray dies, becomes the bad guy, and destroys the world at the end. And I don't mean tries to and is foiled by the Ghostbusters. I mean he literally destroys the world and kills every single human being, particularly Aykroyd's character.

    If that happens, I'll get in line right fucking now.

  • BendinIntheWind

    I whole-heartedly endorse this. I also want a post-credits scene implying he and ghost Sigourney Weaver are left to bone for all eternity.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    And the vodka isn't good either.

    Damn that just sounds sacrilegious... but it is true.

  • What everyone neglects to mention every time this gets brought up is that Ghostbusters II is the drizzling shits. We've already got our crap Ghostbusters movie - why do we need another? At this point a full on re-boot is clearly the better option (though the best option of all is just to watch the first one again).

  • dagnabbit

    Bravo, you are correct, sir! Add that to the fact everything Hackroyd has touched in the last 20 years has turned to turd. People, we need to stop talking about this, you're only feeding the crazy.

  • dizzylucy

    Once Bill Murray has shat on something, it is no longer an option.

  • e jerry powell

    Maybe that's what's happened to Chevy Chase.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Dan, you ignorant sl*t.

  • BendinIntheWind

    Back when all this nonsense started, I vividly remember Murray declaring that he wouldn't be a part of it unless his character was dead and appeared only as a ghost. To which I respond: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, DAN AKROYD?

    This movie practically writes itself. Murray's newfound deadness creates a conduit between the team and the afterlife. As he copes with his own death, he discovers something dark and ominous and world-endy on the way. He wrestles with whether or not he should lay his allegiances with his new ghost-brethren, or his former team. After catching Ray macking on Sigourney Weaver, he positions himself as a devoted minion to the new demon in town, only to prove his loyalty to Egon, Ray, and Winston in the end. He's a spook-spook, if you will.

  • ed newman

    Really Aykroyd? Poor dead Tom Davis. You had to throw Coneheads out there as the example of your work, and then "oh, we did some stuff on SNL too" as an aside? How about burying the shitstain Coneheads and leading with the SNL stuff?

  • AsdffAnon

    Man-hell-ttan...

  • If a team of lawyers tried to sue Bill Murray he'd have them playing drunken golf and crashing parties with the Wu-Tang Clan within 2 hours. And they'd love it. Fuck off, Aykroyd.

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