By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (27)
(Vulture)
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Posted by: Jerry at September 28, 2010 6:14 PM
1. Damn you, Jonah Hill. Damn you for making me love you!
11. I am so insanely uncomfortable looking at that 'photo' of Bret Michaels. That cover right there, is keeping Adobe Photoshop on the market. It's physically making me cringe.
111. I'm not surprised Athiests, Agnostics, Jews, and Mormons are more knowledge about religion than Catholics and Protestants. I fall somewhere between Deism and Agnosticism and just started reading the Qur'an the other day. We as a group, seem to be a lot more open-minded and curious of religion than say, people like Pamela Gellar or the like. I could just be talking out of my ass though.
Posted by: Mae at September 28, 2010 6:25 PM
He neither sings nor exposes his cleavage.
Katy is just fighting the good fight: Getting rid of motherfucking Elmo! You are just enabling the fucker doing this shit! Giving him the attention he wants!! CUT IT THE FUCK OUT!!!
Posted by: Jay at September 28, 2010 6:26 PM
physically --> literally*******
fail!
Posted by: Mae at September 28, 2010 6:26 PM
Josh Scwhartz, who created “The O.C.,” is reteaming with Rachel Bilson to create another television show, “Ghost Angeles,” (ouch), which centers on a young woman in Los Angeles who can talk to the dead, helping the spirits as much as they are helping her.
Wasn't that show called Tru Calling, starred Eliza Dushku, and nobody (including me) watched it? Sounds ripe for a remake!
Posted by: MM at September 28, 2010 7:04 PM
The opening lines list is completely void for not including "In a hole in a ground there lived a hobbit."
Posted by: figgy at September 28, 2010 7:37 PM
Wasn't that show called Tru Calling, starred Eliza Dushku, and nobody (including me) watched it? Sounds ripe for a remake!
Wasn't that show also called Ghost Whisperer, starred Jennifer Love Hewitt, and everybody (for some reason) watched it?
Posted by: Marcela at September 28, 2010 7:39 PM
"The 100 Best Opening Lines from Novels" list gets my stamp of approval if only for the inclusion of I, Claudius and The Crow Road. Over the toppedness was achieved by it also having Catch-22, Lord Jim, and Crash. The good Crash, not some Hellspawn "based on the Academy Award winning film" Haggisean adapatation hackery.
Posted by: Groundloop at September 28, 2010 7:48 PM
Wasn't that show also called Ghost Whisperer
Touché!
I don't know why I completely blanked that from my mind, but, um, yeah. And the "for some reason" = Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobiez.
Posted by: MM at September 28, 2010 7:49 PM
and isnt that show still on air and called "Medium"
Posted by: Aquaman at September 28, 2010 8:10 PM
How about "The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed"? Just because it's Stephen King doesn't mean it's not awesome.
Also, I agree with figgy. Big miss on both accounts.
Posted by: stardust at September 28, 2010 8:46 PM
Lane is Morty Arty! Lane is Morty Arty!
Posted by: John W at September 28, 2010 8:47 PM
I think if Aquaman watches Medium, it may indicate something non-outrageous about his little fish
Posted by: idleprimate at September 28, 2010 9:14 PM
@Mae, as a cradle Catholic, I find that article half true. I know several people like you who non-comittal but curious about religion. Goodness knows there are a lot of Christians who know jack squat beyond Christmas, Easter, and "be nice to people." But not every agnostic/atheist became so by weighing the truths of all world religions. Case in point: my grad school friends who rely on me, "the religious one", to identify Bible stories in paintings, etc. So it's a mixed bag.
Also, I wonder how those people in the survey would do on basic American history questions.
Posted by: Empress of All the Russias at September 28, 2010 10:22 PM
For something you apparently curled in terror at you sure mention Katy's cleavage an awful lot. You thinking about something other then dick?
Posted by: greenbastard at September 28, 2010 11:03 PM
There is one and only one opening line of a novel that matters:
"We were near Barstow on the outskirts of the desert when the drugs began to take hold."
I don't care if it's on the list or not. Even if it's on, if it isn't No. 1, the list is shit.
Posted by: , at September 29, 2010 12:48 AM
Wasn't that show called Tru Calling, starred Eliza Dushku, and nobody (including me) watched it?
Hey! I watched it.
I also have it on DVD.
Sincerely,
A. Nobody
Posted by: Rykker at September 29, 2010 5:48 AM
You magnificent sonsabitches nailed my 2 favorite opening lines (Gunslinger and Fear and Loathing).
And complaining about Katy Perry's boobs is like bitching about all this wonderful oxygen we have to breathe. It's fucking glorious and stop being so unbearably faggy.
Posted by: Kballs at September 29, 2010 8:11 AM
By the way , "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" isn't even on the list. It's a bunch of pretentious obnoxiery listing the first lines of "classics," not the actual greatest lines. Hell, "Moby Dick" is number one. *throws hands up*
Posted by: Kballs at September 29, 2010 8:17 AM
stardust, that line would have been awesome, if it were not for Stephen King The Character turning up later in the series and going on about how awesome that opening line was.
God I hated that series. Now I have to try to flog it on ebay. Offers welcome, although I realise I may not have exactly talked it up here.
Posted by: embertine at September 29, 2010 9:50 AM
Fan to Famous Athiest whose name I cannot remember: "I'm an Athiest, too."
Famous Athiest: "Have you read the Bible?"
Fan: "No."
Famous Athiest: "Have you read the Quran?"
Fan: "No."
Famous Athiest: "Have you read (list of various other religious books)?"
Fan: "No."
Famous Athiest: "You are not an athiest. You're an ignoramous."
Posted by: BWeaves at September 29, 2010 9:51 AM
93% on that religious knowledge quiz, bitches! I may be from the Bible belt, but I know my shit.
Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at September 29, 2010 10:40 AM
That first lines list should have ten times the Vonnegut. That man never let a first line go to waste. Also, I thought the first line of Slaughterhouse-Five was "Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time." It seems like they were using the Forward of the book, which, while it helps the understanding of the text, doesn't seem like part of the actual novel IMO.
Posted by: ChristianH at September 29, 2010 11:47 AM
Practicing Catholic who got 100% on the quiz.
Posted by: samantha t at September 29, 2010 1:57 PM
Love this one:
"The village of Holcomb stands on the high wheat plains of western Kansas, a lonesome area that other Kansans call "out there.""
In Cold Blood.
Posted by: samantha t at September 29, 2010 2:03 PM
"We were near Barstow on the outskirts of the desert when the drugs began to take hold."
That's not the line.
Posted by: Jay at September 29, 2010 3:49 PM
"Practicing Catholic who got 100% on the quiz."
And another. I admit I cheated on the last question though. John Edwards? Who the fuck is he?
The only thing that that test showed was that everyone is fucking ignorant. Those weren't testing questions they were such basic general knowledge that if you didn't know those things I bet you don't even know what country you live in.
Posted by: Ender at September 30, 2010 6:17 AM
Okay, now I must have sex with Jonah Hill.